“Teach them friendship” is the title of an article by college professor, Bryan Baise in Mere Orthodoxy.  At the end of his discussion he notes, “Masculinity cannot be fixed by presidents, politicians, or platformed theologians clamoring into the void that ‘they alone can fix it.’  It will take slow, deliberate work that recognizes men are good for society, they are worth the time and investment, and there are mediating institutions worth investing one’s life and energy into forming and building for the common good.”  

The author believes a lot of the chatter about masculinity is a “mirrored recklessness.”  One opinion holds that masculinity has no original content.  But the author cautions, “We should be able to say something about what it means to be men that is not merely culturally informed,” but is unique to men, created in the image of God.  The concept of a man can have different  expressions at various stages of history, but we can recognize a “unity of concept with different kinds of expression.”  We must be careful in not demoting masculinity.  Men need help in living out their unique masculine story.  Mirrored recklessness can express “the fatal conceit that suggests masculinity must  be express in a certain kind of external posture.”  In the confusion of forcing men into certain expectations  can result in emotional confusion.  

Then there is the concern about male connection. The focus is usually on shared activity, rather than hearing men’s stories, especially the emotional pain  of the soul.   But what does friendship look like in the “current malaise of masculinity.”  “Friendship is a fabric of created order that shapes both person and place.”  Baise suggests, “Men’s existence is good, they are more than mere utility and their life is valuable.  Friendship offers the promise of helping men see their uniqueness, if only they will have the ears to hear.  It offers a window into the world of sacrifice, love, courage, and vulnerability, where  dying to self means taking up responsibilities.” 

“A recovery of manhood is a recovery of a unique expression of human dignity.”  In friendship, beliefs and friends are embodied in a unique rhythm of life.   There is something good about masculinity that cannot be reduced to its function.  But this will be slow work.  “There is no set agenda, no end or purpose beyond just being together.”  Through friendship men “can begin the slow remaking of what has been unmade.”  It can be a tool in helping men understand their masculinity as being more than bravado, not explained away by cultural mythos.  

Male friendship can teach men they have something unique to contribute to our culture.  By focusing on male character and inviting men into the process, we can “begin the slow work of removing their chains, inviting them out of the graveyard and into a life of cultivating the goods of friendship and in doing so become more like men.”

Proverbs 17:17 tells us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”  Proverbs 18:24 reminds us, “….there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” while Prov.27:6 declares, “wounds from a friend can be trusted.”  Male friendship is a gift from the Lord.  My friendship with Dan. Bruce and now Scott has been a  slow, deliberate work.   We have met regularly for over three years. We are soul mates who share our stories of faith and our struggles to be men of God.  I am grateful for my male soul mates.  I can be myself, knowing I am loved for who I really am.  I sincerely desire to be authentic and real.    

The prophecy of Ezekiel contains strange visions, images, and messages that seem very remote from our every day life in America.  Ezekiel prophecy was delivered during the difficult days of Judah’s exile in Babylon (605-538 bc).  He was writing to people who would not accept that God was at work in the midst of their national disaster.  But the prophet saw in “wild and unforgettable images, elaborated in exuberant detail” (Peterson), of how God was working in the midst judgement.  

The people could not bring themselves to see what God was doing in their day.  It wasn’t only a response of denial, there were others who lived in despair.  In the devastation they lost everything.  But Ezekiel was determined to show the people that God would using the devastation for their good.  He showed them God was present, working in the wreckage and rubble, sovereignly using the disaster to create a new people of God.  There was hope beyond denial or despair.

God warned Ezekiel that the people of Judah would prefer to have life go on as usual, not caring to face the collapse of society all around them.  Ezekiel 33:30-32 paints a picture of how the people perceived the ministry of Ezekiel.  “As for you, son of man, you’ve become quite the talk of the town.  Your people meet on street corners and in front of their houses and say, ‘Let’s go hear the latest news from God.’  They show up, as people tend to do, and sit in your company.  They listen to you speak, but don’t do a thing you say.  They flatter you with compliments, but all they care about is making money and getting ahead.  To them you’re merely entertainment – a country singer of sad love songs, playing a guitar.  They love to hear you talk, but nothing comes of it.” (Message)  

When God called Ezekiel, he told the prophet, “But when all this happens – and it is going to happen! – they’ll realize that a prophet was among them” (Ezk. 33:33).  God had, however, warned Ezekiel earlier, “You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen – for they are rebellious.  But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you.  Do not rebel like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.” (Ezk. 2:8).

I picture the prophet chewing day after day on what God was saying to him.  I’m sure it didn’t fit the cultural or religious narrative of the day.  God warned Ezekiel that he lived among people who were spiritually blind and deaf. “Son of man, you are living among a rebellious people.  They have eyes to see but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear, for they are a rebellious people. (Ezk. 12:2)

Today the dominant narrative has conditioned people to have “itching ears.”  II Tim 4:3-4 warns of us a culture not wanting to hear the truth. “For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine.  Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” 

Could it be that we prefer “a cowboy singer of sad love songs, playing a guitar.”  It seems to me that our culture has been conditioned by all the “influencers” to produce many who have “itching ears” listening to countless voices, reassuring them of peace rather than a collapse  of our way of life.  Jesus warn us, “Watch out that no one deceive you” (Mk. 13:5).