In my opinion, Anthony B. Bradley, is a very keen observer and advocate for the growing crisis of fatherlessness in our nation.  One of his conclusions is “presence matters.” He writes, “boys need consistent, caring male presence not just for guidance, but for their emotional regulation, identity formation, and even biological resilience.”  Boys don’t thrive on lectures or discipline alone.  Boys will grow up when men show up, build something with them, spend time listening and calling them into maturity.  The role of men in nurturing and resilience-building is vital. The science is clear: presence matters.” 

He challenges the church.  “If the church wants to respond seriously to the crisis of fatherlessness, the boy crisis, and the breakdown of male development, it begins here: support the fathers and embed the boys in intergenerational relationships in the life of the church.  Create a culture where men see the spiritual formation of the next generation as an ordinary, expected part of Christian maturity.  And when you baptize a child, mean it.  There must be a clear rite of passage into the adult community – long before high school graduation.” 

We usually see parenting in terms of love, guidance and support.  But in recent research, “the influence of fatherhood may go even deeper – into the very wiring of a child’s stress response system.”  Cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone, plays a central role in the regulation of mood, immunity, and long-term health.  This effect is specific to fathers.  Bradley observes, “maternal engagement, though crucial in other domains, did not predict changes in cortisol levels….The benefits of engaged fathering cut across lines of ethnicity, gender, and family structure…….fathers have a biologically measurable impact simply by showing up – in small, consistent ways.” 

Shared activity is more than just pleasant memories.  They are physiological investments.  “They tell a developing nervous system something critical,” observes Bradley. “You are not alone.”  Repeating this message by a father will shape a young man as he meets the world with steadiness, confidence, and calm under pressure. “If father presence is a public health concern,” Bradley observes,  then “the father can make a difference.”  His advice, “Engage. Invite. Share life. The body remembers.” 

Bradley is blunt in his challenge to the church.  The programming in most churches is not built for the current crisis of boys and men.  “It wasn’t built for boys having to navigate a world saturated in social media messaging.  It wasn’t built for the kind of spiritual formation your sons actually need.”   

I began learning in the early 80’s about male presence, from Leanne Payne.  She taught me that masculinity is more caught then taught.  She spoke about “father hunger” in the lives of young men.  I never know the longing in my soul was really a “father hunger.”  I was in my early 40’s, finding myself being drawn to godly men, who I respected,  wanting to simply absorb their spiritual presence.  It was more about who they were and not what they had to say.  It was my hunger for a Godly father figure.

At this stage in my life, as an old timer, I can only affirm what Bradley is vouching for among men, “Engage, Invite. Share life.  The body remembers.”   These are relational words.  Filling the needs of father hunger, will take on going relational interaction.   Bradley’s words, “the body remembers” is of significance.  Young men need to be with older saints on a regular basis, so they can absorb what God has formed in the life of an older man.  In our day we call it “spiritual formation.”  It simply happens when older men take a vital interest in young men. 

I have an admission to make as I write this blog.  I look forward to watching the pro football hall of fame enshrinement ceremony each year.  This year my favorite team, the Minnesota Vikings, had Jared Allen, who played defensive end, go into the hall of fame.  My wife knows when I am been watching the ceremony.  I usually am crying like a baby.  It is inspiring to observe a completive, no-nonse guy stand before the mike with the sports world listening intently to his prepared speech speak from the heart.   

Sometimes, it seems like the football player is emulating himself and his accomplishments.  But most of the time, when a man stands before the world, giving his acceptance speech, his words are deep, heartfelt and sincere.  He remembers the hard work, the guys he played with, along with those who have supported him.  Often the man standing at the podium will give a clear witness of strength found in the Lord. When I sense the sincere gratitude, often filled with heartfelt emotions, it brings me to tears.  Here are men, admired by the sports world, for being a tough and determined football player, yet when the spotlight is on them, they give gratitude and thanksgiving to others, and often filled with emotion.  “Wow.”

Jared Allen, in the last minutes of his speech, gave a bold and clear testimony regarding the place of Jesus in his life.  He began by remembering the premarital advice given to him and his wife.  He referred to the two most important decisions a man will make.  First, the decision to follow Jesus and who will he marry.  He also recalled the advice of knowing there are two different people in life. First, those who are like a boat anchor, who drag you down and second, those who elevate you.  He then gives high praise for his wife, calling her, “a true game elevator.”

Then Allen speaks directly to his two lovely daughters before sports world.   He calls them, “his greatest accomplishment” and his “legacy.” He makes this remarkable statement, one in which I lost my composure.  “When I get called home to heaven one day, if all they talk about is my gold jacket, then I’ve failed miserably, failing as a father, husband and friend.”  He then gives this advice, which is very bold indeed.   “Always put Christ first and find your ‘why.’  Dream big dreams and always purse greatness in whatever you do.”

It is amazing how the light of the gospel shines through at unique times in our culture, as the message of “Good News” is told to millions of sports fans.  May Jared Allen’s words, speak to the hearts and souls of men.

To hear the name of “Jesus” mentioned on the stage of the pro football hall of fame, is powerful.  Phil 2:10-11 declares, “that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”  I agree wholehearted that our two most important decisions in life are accepting Jesus as Lord and who a man will marry.  Allen’s advice to his daughters, in putting Christ first is life is wise fatherly counsel.

Listen to his advice, men.  Your most important decision will be about the “Lordship of Jesus” and your choice of a life partner.  It seems to me; Allen was pleading with his daughters to put Jesus first.  May all the young men, who are football fans not forget this wise and heartfelt advice from pro hall of famer, Jared Allen. Skol