Category: Wildman Journey (Page 1 of 87)

“Confused Excuses” is the title Christopher Wright gives to Jeremiah 2:20-37.  I found it in the “Bible Speaks Today.”  Some self disclosure – I have made a commitment to understand the prophet Jeremiah, so that I might share some of what God has to say through the prophets for our day.  It is hard work.  But I want to be obedient to the Lord.  Jeremiah has been a real challenge for me to grasp both in its content and making application for our day. 

Anyway, as for Jer. 2:20-37,  Wright makes this observation regarding this passage. Jeremiah records seven direct quotations from the people.  In this way, Jeremiah “cleverly exposes how they swing back and forth between brazen denial of sin and abject acceptance of it.  Their words are simultaneously self-excusing and self-condemning.  The confusion is astonishing.  But it is simply what happens when people become so embroiled in sin that they can no longer think straight.”

In v. 20 the people reject God, “I will not serve you.”  But then in v. 23 they claim “I am not defiled; I have not run after the Baals.”  But then in v. 25 they admit what they denied in v. 23, “It’s no use! I love foreign gods, and I must go after them.”   In v. 27 they seem to view the sexual symbols of fertility as both providers and protectors, “You are my father,” and “You gave me birth.”  But then in the same verse they cry out to God to save them, “Come and save us!” 

When reading v. 25, “It’s no use! I love foreign gods, and I must go after them,” along with v. 35, “I am innocent; he is not angry with me” these comments reflect an addictive attitude. Wright notes, “their sin is compulsive, something over which they have no control.”  “These insights of Jeremiah,” contines Wright, “show that the psychology of addiction is not confined to individuals, but can come to characterize a whole community.” 

Wright then gives us God’s perspective.  “God’s response (v. 35) shows  that such a hollow defiance will simply not stand up in his court.”  God says to them, “But I will pass judgment on you because you say, ‘I have not sinned.'” The Message translates verse 35 as follows: “Don’t look now, but judgment’s on the way, aimed at you who say, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.'” Could it be that God is judging our culture because of all the excuses we are making for our behavior?

A good question to ask ourselves, “Do we ever try to excuse or defend ourselves before God?”  In our day the rhetoric is usually tilled toward blame rather than responsibility.  Being even more introspective, do we consider how our excuses appear to God?  I have to ask myself, “Do I come before my heavenly Father as someone who is totally dependant on His mercy and grace or am I wanting help with my own ‘self-improvement’ projects?”  

Even more searching is the question, “How is addiction to sin demonstrated in people’s lives today?” A good thing can become an idol when it becomes the ultimate thing.  What is the focus of our time, talent and treasure? Is God the ultimate reality or one of the idols of our culture?  Earlier in Chapter 2, God asks, “What fault did your ancestors find in me, that they strayed so far from me?  They followed worthless idols and become worthless themselves” ( Jer. 2:5). 

Living as we do in a spiritual vacuum, our creator God is being replaced by a lot of other gods.  What becomes foremost in our hearts is our God.  Any worthless idol, will according to Jer 2:5 cause us to become worthless ourselves.  

Mark Hancock, CEO of Trail Life USA, had a thought provoking article in The Daily Signal, about young men in America,  observing, “America is waking up to the reality that the ‘Y’ matters.”  Referring to men he points to the Y chromosome, “The ‘Y’ doesn’t just mark their biology – it point them to their purpose.  The  ‘Y’ give them their Why.”  

He states bluntly, “The crisis began the moment the “Y” was dismissed…. Influential voices turned identity into a DIY project, erased the Y chromosome as a marker of manhood, blurred essential boundaries, and loosened every anchor that once helped boys grow.  Time-tested anchors of family, faith, community, mentors, and clear expectations were discarded…….boys were told that male and female were interchangeable, that fathers were optional, and that masculinity was either threatening or foolish.  We’re now living the consequences: Boys are faltering, and a generation is stalled on the road to manhood.”

The result is a generation of confused young men.  Hancock warns, “confused boys become wounded boys.”  They then become wounded men, who are associated with “toxic masculinity.”  Instead masculinity should be seen as strength serving in love, and power that has a redemptive purpose.  In the midst of this confusion, the void is filled with influencers who promise, “strength, belonging, answers, and initiation.”

The “Y” chromosome is not a cultural construction but rather God’s unique design for each man.  Every man is born with a Y chromosome.  “But only intentional formation give him his Why.”  “Masculinity” states Hancock, “was God’s idea first, not a social disease that needs to be eradicated….. We need masculinity ordered toward courage, conviction, humility, and love.”  

Hancock points to Jesus as exemplifying “rightly ordered” masculinity.  Jesus is “the One who confronted hypocrisy and welcomed the broken, who overturned tables and washed feet, who carried the weight of the world not to dominate but to redeem.”  Then he makes a statement that challenged me, as a member of the “silent generation.”  “This is the standard that boys are starving for.”  Boys are waiting…. “for men to step in with the clarity the culture refuses to give.” 

Boys need men in their formation.  They need father and mentor, “who teach them how to carry weight, how to honor women, how to master impulses, how to take responsibility, how to use strength for the good of others – strength that serves, not dominates.”  Men need to walk with younger men.  We need to model “strength ruled by love.”  We need to show boys “how to build, protect, serve, and lead.”  

A generation of young men is watching.  Who will show them the way?  “Masculinity doesn’t emerge by accident,” Hancock states.  “It is shaped by steady hands, steady hearts, and steady men……Families need men who know who they are – and why they’re here.”  The author pleads, “America needs masculinity right now.”  “It will take restoring the principles that created the greatest generation to build a new generation that doesn’t just navigate this destructive tide but turns back the tide itself.”  Hancock ends with this challenge, “the ‘boY’ matters, and boys are looking for men to follow.”

As an “old timer” I was convicted by the thought of young men watching, wanting to know the way.  Dr John Seel writes about the importance of who men aspire to be.  He notes that becoming fully male is “a verb not a noun: a state of being, an ongoing relationally and spiritually derived process.”  This is a lifelong commitment to a direction, dependance and development, becoming the best version of our masculine self.  I am committed to live for Jesus and be formed by him.     

This was the title of an article by Dr. John Seel.  He believes we are living through a “civilizational inflection.”  The West is gravely ill.  The disease is spiritual. The need is repentance not policy. “The patient,” suggests Dr. Seel, “still breathes, but the pulse of purpose is gone.  We are a zombie culture, animated yet dead.”

A culture cannot heal if it refuses to name its disease. Being influenced by Phillip Rieff,  Dr. Seel sees our culture as severing its link to the sacred.  Culture is a living organism that shapes and informs our lives.  Many believe we can resuscitate our culture, but Seel warns, “to confuse resuscitation for what is really needed resurrection is the final illusion of a dying civilization.”     

 “The sacred once ordered the social from above; now politics dictates culture, and culture manufactures its own religion,” notes Seel.  This reversal is mostly complete and is catastrophic.  “God created man in His image.  Now man perceives he can create God in his image or replace God with AI colonized by algorithms.” We have dethroned transcendence, while  enthroning ourselves. “We have retained the moralism of religion without its metaphysical grounding.”  Rieff saw such practices as “deathworks – cultural creations that invert the meaning they inherit.”

The result for our culture is a “dark enchantment – the return of pagan imagination under technological conditions.  The world is not disenchanted; it is enchanted by idols.”  The cure for such dark magic is divine enchantment.  We need “liminal leaders” – “men and women who can live between the lightning and the thunder, reading the weather of the age and preparing the ground for what comes next.”  

A liminal leader will exhibit four virtues: 1) “vision” – “The capacity to see beyond collapse toward renewal.”  2) “Courage” – “the willingness to act without institutional permission.” 3) “Humility” – “the conviction that renewal begins with repentance, not strategy” and  4) “Exploration” – “the willingness to seek what they do as not yet know.”  It is leadership that is restorative.  “It resists both despair and distraction.  It builds dense networks of meaning, small communities of faithfulness, and institutions ordered by truth rather than lies.”

“We are living through a liminal period of withering,” notes Seel.  It is a, “500-year inflection point,” in which “the ideas of modernity are imploding, the institutions of modernity are paralyzed, and the instruments of modernity (namely AI) are exploding.”  We are the first civilization without a shared sacred symbolic. It is a time for watchful discernment and courageous leadership. 

 I accept the challenge of Dr Seel.  “There has rarely been a more exciting time to be alive as a follower of Christ than now. Ours  is a turning point.”  We live in “the pause between to lightening and the thunder.”  We live close to the coming storm.  Seel quotes C. S. Lewis, “You can’t go back and change to beginning, but you  can start where you are and change the ending.”     

Our culture has a deep spiritual sickness.  May I  have “the courage to resist its idols, to honor objective reality, and the imagination to rebuild on foundations of transcendence.” As I pray, “Come, Lord Jesus,” may I not focus the turbulent weather patterns of the present age, forgetting the kingdom reign of King Jesus, as the unifying narrative of our time.   

Dr. Seel’s article is a prophetic call for men to come forth.  I write this blog to encourage men to be “liminal leaders.”  “The age is changing. This time, it truly is different.  The question is whether we will merely survive the transition – or sanctify it.  May we stand, liminal and luminous, as witnesses to the sacred in an age that has forgotten how to bow.”   

Variety magazine reported recently that Disney has “boy trouble.” Bill Winters believes, “They’re going to have to ditch an ideology that sneered at masculinity.”  Disney is losing the interest of Gen Z men (13-28), whom they describe as  a “lonely, gaming-obsessed group who were hampered in their formative years by COVID-19 lockdowns.”   Winters points out that Disney has part of the diagnosis correct, but the corporation needs to realize  young men have become alienated even more by an ideology that is undermining what was once celebrated by Disney.  They need to change the stories they tell. 

Winters maintains, “they’re going to have to ditch an ideology that sneered at masculinity, chivalry, righteous honor, power for noble purposes, the warrior ethos – all these things that coded as toxically male – and accepted these attitudes are actually good and necessary for any healthy society and worthy of exploring in entertainment.”   

“This ideology was obviously anti-men,” insists Winters.  There is a need to return again to tradition.  Traditional stories stick around for a reason.  One of the  moves Disney can make in Miller’s opinion is “to return to traditional storytelling.”  This means, “courageous heroes, nasty villains, and incredibly high stakes for believable characters who wrestle with timeless challenges like family, romance, revenge, redemption.”

“Gen Z males,” insists Miller, “are hungry for brotherhood and purpose.  They want demanding missions where success is deeply consequential not just for them but for the people they care about.”  Young men are looking for stories that contain these three elements, “authentic brotherhood, transcendent purpose and patriotism.”  

Miller is optimistic about the future of Disney.  But they will need to work at renewing and reviving our great institutions. But like the rest of America, Disney must be, “willing to do the hard work of renewing and reviving our greatest institutions.”  He sees Disney’s crisis as a blessing in disguise.  “Really, Disney’s ‘boy trouble‘ crisis is a gift for the company…..If Disney starts telling authentic, powerful stories that men actually want to see, they will capture a rising demographic and participate in a renewal of American culture in a way worthy of the greatest institutions.”

For a Christian the greatest story is telling the “Good News.”  Jesus came to show us a better way to live. He came to defeat the power of evil.  He calls men to radical commitment.  “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matt. 16:24).   

The Good News calls for young men to be involved in brotherhood.  There is no greater brotherhood, then a group men  committed to the cause of Christ.  Early after high school, in my surrender to Jesus, I found the need for men in my life, who  were intentional about  their walk with God.   This is still true in my 80’s.  The modeling of godly men is vital for me to stay in the fight. We are in combat together, as we rescue people from darkness. 

The Good News certainly provides a transcendent purpose. Jesus taught us to pray, “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”   I am eternally thankful for “the Good News” of Jesus and his kingdom.  I have given full allegiance to this story.  It is the same yesterday, today and forever.  It has eternal consequences. 

I have been blest to live in a country where the story of Jesus has shaped a lot of our culture.  “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news” (Is. 52:7). It is inspiring to be surrounded by men who are excited about sharing the good news in our troubled culture.   

Brad East, a professor of theology at Abilene Christian University, has become one of my favorite theologians.  I value theologians, who I can trust to be scripture centered, but yet speak clearly, in a fresh, new way the “old story” of Jesus and his love.  Recently he wrote an article for Mere Orthodoxy entitled, “Once more, church and culture.”   He begins with this statement: “The West will always carry within it its Christian past – whether as a living wellspring, a lingering shadow, a haunting ghost, or an exorcised demon – but it is indisputable that whatever the West has become, it is not what it once was, Christendom is no more.”

East believes “there is no one ‘correct’ type, posture, or model” in engaging with our present day culture. “Instead, the church has four primary modes of faithful engagement with culture.  They are inevitably overlapping and essentially non-competitive with one another.  Which mode is called for depends entirely on context and content……..typically they are all at work simultaneously…….each mode applies in every possible historical and political context: premodern and postmodern, established and disestablished, privileged and persecuted.”  Here are the four modes:

First, Resistance: The church is called to resist injustice and idolatry.  Sometimes all that it takes is sheer perseverance, while on other occasions the cost is higher. 

Second, Repentance:  The church is always and everywhere called to repent of its sins, crimes, and failures.  Judgement must begin at the house of  God (I Peter 4:17). The credibility of the gospel is rarely threatened by the church’s failures as much as by its unwillingness to admit them. 

Third, Reception: The church is always and everywhere called to receive from the world the many blessings bestowed upon it by God.

Fourth, Reform: The church is always and everywhere called to preach the gospel which is the word of God’s saving grace in Jesus Christ.  Another term for this task of proclamation is prophecy. 

East then lists six benefits he sees using  this fourfold model:

First, it does not privilege any one mode but takes for granted that context is everything.  

Second, it does not prioritize work as the primary sphere in which the church encounters a culture or makes its presence known.

Third, it does not focus on any one class or persons within the church but instead on the community as a whole

Fourth, these modes are not necessarily measurable in terms of external and tangible impact.  These forms of engagement are “modes” of life.

Fifth, there is no specific social arrangement or political regime either presupposed or generated by this proposal. It applies whether the church has power or has none.

Sixth, the proposal understands that the faithful presence of the church is a differentiated presence.  The church’s witness is measured not only by its presence to the world but also by its difference from the world.  That difference is called holiness. 

East’s proposal is his attempt to speak about the church’s place in society after Christendom.  As followers of Jesus, we each in our own context will  continue to struggle with the question of Christ and culture.   Each of East’s modes are always in play, that is, they naturally part of our lifestyle. 

For men, this proposal helps remind us of simply wanting to be humble, loving followers of Jesus.  Phil. 2:1-2 seems to fit East’s proposal, when it asks, “Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit?  Are your hearts tender and compassionate?  Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. ”   

I recently heard Amy Grant’s new single entitled, “The 6th of January (Yasgur’s Farm)”  I felt some nostalgia, as the song took me back to the 60’s when I was just a new convert.  The song didn’t have a preachy tone, rather it was almost contemplative, causing older listeners to reflect on their story and the present narrative of in our nation.  It did not ask us to do anything, but rather to ponder what might have been lost.  The last phrase of the song, leaves us with a challenging question for our conflicted time.  “I look ahead and realize we’ve lost our way.”  

I identified with the song because Amy Grant was a contemporary Christian artist, who was a part of my spiritual journey.  She now is older, having endured some difficult times on her journey.  Anyone who grow up with Amy Grant and lived through “Woodstock” will immediately be taken down memory lane, reflecting on the culture of the 60’s and its affects on our day.  

Here are some of the lyrics.  The first verse: “Maybe it’s the time of year/ Or maybe it’s the time of man/ 60’s playlist and a beer/ I’m suddenly 16 again/ What’s the future hold in store/ What’s it hiding up its sleeve/ All that wide-eyed hope/ Were we so naive.”  This seems like a longing for the past and a questioning of what was once experienced.  For those of us who are older, our response  is tied to our memory of the “old days” while those who are younger can only wonder what is being communicated.

Here’s the chorus: “Hey mister where’s the road to Yasgur’s farm/ He stares at me with pity and alarm/ Says that crowd left here long ago/ Scattered all to hell and Harper’s Ferry/ On the 6th of January.” Yasgur’s farm was the site of “Woodstock (1969)” and the summer of love.  Harper’s Ferry is identified with the civil rights movement.  Of course, January 6th refers to the confusion regarding the protest in our nation’s capital.  

The second verse includes the following,”I’m shopping for some groceries/ Muzak piped in overhead/ They only play the melody/ I hear the words John Lennon said/ Asking me to imagine/ As I fight this cart with crooked wheels.”  The bridge to the song seems to leave us wondering; “And we’re driving home and the radio plays/ What’s going on – Marvin Gaye/ Is it right on red or left on MLK/ I look ahead and realize we’ve lost our way.” 

 From the Message we read in I John 1:3-4, “We saw it, we heard it, and now we’re telling you so you can experience it along with us, this experience of communion with the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ.  Our motive for writing is simply this: We want you to enjoy this, too. Your joy will double our joy!” As a seasoned follower of Jesus, I share with my readers the joy of having communion with  the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ, since before the “summer of love.”

When I listen to Amy Grant, I do not have regret, sorrow or any longing for the “old days.”  Jesus has carried my wife and I, as we raised our family, during those  turbulent times brought about by “the summer of love (1968). To those who are younger, wondering what Ms. Grant sings about, I say, “keep your eyes on Jesus,” He is “The Way.”  Yes, “imagine” Jesus.  He will see you through.  I am living proof of what  the Lord has done in one man and his family.  Keep looking to Jesus and a future with Him.

Jeremiah was called by God to  warn the people of Judah.   One of the words he uses to describe their lifestyle is the word “deceit.”  Deceit in today’s culture is described as “the practice of deceiving; concealment or distortion of the truth for the purpose of misleading; duplicity; fraud; cheating.” In 5:27 the prophet accuses the wicked of living in houses “full of deceit.” “The wicked lie in wait like men who snare birds and  like those who set traps to catch people.  Like cages full of birds, their houses are full of deceit” (Jer. 5:26-7). 

These wicked men were compared to hunters luring unsuspecting birds into a trap. The poor were helpless in resisting their schemes.  “Like cages filled with small birds used for sacrifices their houses were filled with the possessions acquired by their deceitful practices” (Huey).  The Message describes it well, “My people are infiltrated by wicked men, unscrupulous men on the hunt. They set traps for the unsuspecting.  Their victims are innocent men and women. Their houses are stuffed with ill-gotten gain, like a hunter’s beg full of birds.” (Jer. 5:26-7).

It seems that deceit was all pervasive in the culture.  “From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; prophet and priest alike, all practice deceit” (Jer. 6:13).  The amplified says, “Everyone deals deceitfully.” The prophet laments their attitude, “They cling to deceit; they refuse to return” (Jer 8:5).  The ESV says they are in “perpetual backsliding.” The prophets and priests alike, “all practice deceit” (Jer. 8:10).  But they refused to change.  The Lord declares, “You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me (Jer. 9:6).

It has begun to cause conflict in relationships.  God warns them of social disorder due to their deceitful practices.  “Friend deceive friend, and no one speaks the truth.  They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning.  You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me” (Jer. 9:4). Their tongue were like, ” a deadly arrow; it speaks with deceit.  With his mouths they all speak cordially to their neighbors, but in their hearts they set traps for them” (Jer 9:8).  

Above all, in Chapter 7, Jeremiah points out the deception of their worship.  “Do not trust in deceptive words and say, ‘This is the temple of the Lord.'” (Jer. 7:5).  In their worship, they were, “trusting in deceptive words that are worthless” (Jer. 7:8).  The people felt they were safe, “safe to do all these detestable things” (Jer. 7:10)  The Lord was watching as his house became “a den of robbers.”  

God told Jeremiah not to pray for them any longer.  For the people, “did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts” (Jer. 7:24).  They were going, “backward and not forward” (Jer. 7:24).  God warned Jeremiah, “When you tell them all this, they will not listen to you, when you call to them, they will not listen” (Jer. 7:27).  Their worship was deceptive:  false and only going through the motion.  Why!! Because, “Truth has perished; it has vanished from their lips” (Jer. 7:28)

With all the deception in our culture, we need vigilance in our worship of God.  It can become rote and filled with worthless word, where  we, “only pretend to be sorry” (Jer. 3:10).  We have nothing to boast about. “But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things” (Jer. 9:24)

Christian artist, Josh Baldwin, has recorded a  song entitled, “Full grown man.”  The title and the song itself,  stuck me as a song that would relate to men.  I like Baldwin, not only for the content of his songs, but the manner in which he performs.  I have a sense that his masculine manner connects with many younger men.  

As a seasoned follower of Jesus, who embraced the Christian music during the “Jesus Movement,” I compare Baldwin to one of my favorites during those early days of revival, the voice of Don Francisco.  His music, the words and the manner in which I experienced Francisco’s ministry, spoke to my masculine soul, especially the song, “Adam, where are you?”  At that time I was still a young man learning to enter into manhood.  I knew very little about my masculine soul.

Baldwin’s style and lyrics speak to a lost and confused male audience, with the continuous refrain, “He was a full grown Man at a very young age.” “He was Son of God, Son of Man/ Who walked the earth to heal this land/ He lived and died, rose to save/ A full grown Man at a very young age.” “At thirty-three He gave His life away/ As a full grown Man at a very young age/ He died a full grown Man at a very young age.” The song ends with these liberating words for a young man to hear. “And on the cross He offered His life as the altar/ So I could live free.”   

I thought of Hebrews 5:8 -9, when thinking of Jesus as a full grown man. “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and once made prefect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.”  Jesus became a full grown Man at a very young age.  He, “offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard  because of his reverent submission” (Heb. 7:7). 

Peter exhorts us to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.  “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps” ( I Peter 2:21).  I am grateful for Jesus being, “obedient – even death on a cross” (Phil 2:8).   His Father affirmed His only Son, at thirty years of age, when he began his ministry, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11).  

For men, Jesus is our our example.  We are to keep our eyes on Him.  He was full grown man, at a very young age.  I had my personal struggles during my 20’s and early 30’s.  There was a time at the age of 28, when  I wondered if I was a full grown man.  My experience in life seemed to be pointing me in a positive direction.  Yet there was a great deal more to learn about my own personal masculine soul.  Now at 84, I am finishing the journey.  I am humbly grateful to the Lord, for guiding me into the awareness that I am affirmed as a man, before my heavenly father. 

The more I read about Gen Z, the more I sense a deep burden to pray for them on the masculine journey.  When and how will they know they are “full grown men.”  Sports commentators often describe a football players, playing as full grown men.  The tragedy in America, finds young men searching emotionally and spiritually; wondering if they are “full grown men.”  We desperately need full grown men to be models for the younger generation of “lost boys.”    

I read Ronald Rolheiser’s blog often.  He expresses views outside my comfort zone, yet he has a way of writing that speaks to my soul, especially when it comes to relationships.  A recent blog was entitled “A father’s Blessing.”  He lost his father when he was 23 year old.  But he has admiration for his father.  “Like God’s voice at the baptism of Jesus, he had already communicated to me: ‘You are my son in whom I am well pleased.’ Not everyone is that lucky.  That’s about as much a person may ask from a father.”  

At one point, Rolheiser talks about his “father’s dance.” Since then, I have thought a lot about my dance as a father.  He writes, “Every son watches how his father dances and unconsciously sizes him up against certain things: hesitancy, fluidity, abandonment, exhibitionism, momentary irrationality, irresponsibility. “

Rolheiser remembers, “My father never had much fluidity or abandon in his dance step……I would have traded my father for a dad who had a more fluid dance step……..that is partly my struggle to receive his full blessing. He quotes a line from William Blake’s ‘Infant Sorrow,’ in which he mentions ‘Struggling in my father’s hands.'”  Rolheiser acknowledges, “that means struggling at times with my dad’s reticence to simply let go and drink in life’s full gift.”    

As a father, I wonder how the readers of this blog would describe their “dance.” I know for myself, I now wish I would have been  more fluid in my dance.  I never wondered what my kids thought of my dance. I have, however, regrets for some of my missteps in my dance. As I grew in my role as a father, I became more aware of my children’s needs both spiritually and emotionally.  But I am well aware that I did not have the right steps in communicating the father’s love for my children.

 I have reluctantly reflected on my dance, knowing my kids might have preferred a different expression.  I had my missteps and sloppy expressions.  I encourage each father reading this blog to do likewise.  I know for me, it has been a clarifying experience.  Some day I will ask each of my three children what they thought of my dance.

In this blog, I will express my dance as a coach.  I see at least four characteristics of  dad as a family coach. I have never been a coach,  but as a sports fan, I have always be intrigued by the different styles of coaching.  So, these four points are only from my observation of successful coaches. 

First, dad is the head coach.  He sets the tone and direction of the family.  He takes seriously the responsibility entrusted to him by God to head up the family.  I was the head coach of my team of five.  I was accountable for how well we played.

Secondly, the family plays the game within the rules.  For me it was vital that we followed the guidelines of scripture, even when it hurt.  We’re in the game of live.  It is my task to make sure we know how to live.  We are to live for the glory of God.  Period!  

Thirdly, take a personal interest in each player.  Each of my three children were unique gifts of God given to my wife and I to prepare for adult life. We help our children see their giftedness and abilities. Celebrate their successes.

Fourthly, encourage the team to finish strong.  Never, never give up coaching the team. There will be bumps and bruises along the way.  But in Jesus you will as a family come out victorious.  

Helen Andrews had a very insightful article in Compact entitled, “The Great Feminization.” She theorizes, “Cancel culture is simply what women do whenever there are enough of them in a given organization or field.” She is applying feminine patterns of behavior in institutions where women were few in number until recently.  Andrews observes, “Everything you think of as wokeness involves prioritizing the feminine over the masculine: empathy over rationality, safety over risk, cohesion over competition.” 

Could this be overstated.  Maybe!  According to Joy Pullmann we are experiencing a “swap.”  “We have feminization where there should be masculinity, and masculinization where there should be femininity.”  Women are pushed to act like men and men to act like women. The result suggests Pullmann is, “social transgenderism,” making men and women dysfunctional.  Instead of being too feminine, “women are not feminine enough, and men are not masculine enough.”  I agree with Pullmann that men have violated, “their natural male duty to protect the weak.”  “Men need” notes Pullman, “to shed their internalized transgender roles just as much as women do.”

Andrews goes on to state, “Female group dynamics favor consensus and cooperation.  Men order each other around; but women can only suggest and persuade.  Any criticism or negative sentiment……needs to be buried in layers of compliments.  The outcome of a discussion is less important than the fact that a discussion was held and everyone participated in it.  The most important sex difference in group dynamics is the attitude to conflict…..men wage conflict openly while women covertly undermine or ostracize their enemies.” 

“Men” according  Andrews, “tend to be better at compartmentalizing than women, and wokeness was in many ways a society-wide failure to compartmentalize.” Men tend to reconcile more readily with opponents and learn to live in peace, while women are slower to reconcile in conflict. 

Andrews goes so far as to believe the Great Feminization is a threat to civilization. Others, of course, believe it is more “an organic result of women outcompeting men.” But could it be more the artificial result of social engineering.  Andrews wonder if the window to do something about the Great Feminization is closing.  If wokeness is the result of demographic feminization, then it will never be over as long as the demographics remain unchanged. 

I have written about the feminizing of men since the early days of this blog.  I credit Leanne Payne for opening my eyes.  When  men do not lead, take responsibility, and initiate, they surrender their position in family and society.  Women who were not meant to lead or initiate will fill the void.  The result will be women being in the wrong place not able to give proper leadership.

Part of the solution for wokeness in our culture is  godly men receiving their affirmation as men from their heavenly Father.  There is a hole in the soul; an ache that is always felt, when men live as orphans away from home.  We all are prodigals  until we come home and hear the voice of our heavenly Father say, “You are my son in whom I delight.” 

The result will be affirmed men. They are secure in their gender identity and role.  In the tension  between the genders men can express “fairness” rather than harden resolve on positions. They appreciate the opposite in the feminine, celebrating equally gifted and empowered women who complement their masculine.  They see women as their equal, being fulfilled their femininity.  Rather than scapegoating, men will assume their leadership responsibilities.  Affirmed men are able to navigate “the gender wars” because they are submitted to the God who made male and female.