Canaan's Rest

Christian artist, Josh Baldwin, has recorded a  song entitled, “Full grown man.”  The title and the song itself,  stuck me as a song that would relate to men.  I like Baldwin, not only for the content of his songs, but the manner in which he performs.  I have a sense that his masculine manner connects with many younger men.  

As a seasoned follower of Jesus, who embraced the Christian music during the “Jesus Movement,” I compare Baldwin to one of my favorites during those early days of revival, the voice of Don Francisco.  His music, the words and the manner in which I experienced Francisco’s ministry, spoke to my masculine soul, especially the song, “Adam, where are you?”  At that time I was still a young man learning to enter into manhood.  I knew very little about my masculine soul.

Baldwin’s style and lyrics speak to a lost and confused male audience, with the continuous refrain, “He was a full grown Man at a very young age.” “He was Son of God, Son of Man/ Who walked the earth to heal this land/ He lived and died, rose to save/ A full grown Man at a very young age.” “At thirty-three He gave His life away/ As a full grown Man at a very young age/ He died a full grown Man at a very young age.” The song ends with these liberating words for a young man to hear. “And on the cross He offered His life as the altar/ So I could live free.”   

I thought of Hebrews 5:8 -9, when thinking of Jesus as a full grown man. “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and once made prefect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.”  Jesus became a full grown Man at a very young age.  He, “offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard  because of his reverent submission” (Heb. 7:7). 

Peter exhorts us to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.  “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps” ( I Peter 2:21).  I am grateful for Jesus being, “obedient – even death on a cross” (Phil 2:8).   His Father affirmed His only Son, at thirty years of age, when he began his ministry, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11).  

For men, Jesus is our our example.  We are to keep our eyes on Him.  He was full grown man, at a very young age.  I had my personal struggles during my 20’s and early 30’s.  There was a time at the age of 28, when  I wondered if I was a full grown man.  My experience in life seemed to be pointing me in a positive direction.  Yet there was a great deal more to learn about my own personal masculine soul.  Now at 84, I am finishing the journey.  I am humbly grateful to the Lord, for guiding me into the awareness that I am affirmed as a man, before my heavenly father. 

The more I read about Gen Z, the more I sense a deep burden to pray for them on the masculine journey.  When and how will they know they are “full grown men.”  Sports commentators often describe a football players, playing as full grown men.  The tragedy in America, finds young men searching emotionally and spiritually; wondering if they are “full grown men.”  We desperately need full grown men to be models for the younger generation of “lost boys.”    

I read Ronald Rolheiser’s blog often.  He expresses views outside my comfort zone, yet he has a way of writing that speaks to my soul, especially when it comes to relationships.  A recent blog was entitled “A father’s Blessing.”  He lost his father when he was 23 year old.  But he has admiration for his father.  “Like God’s voice at the baptism of Jesus, he had already communicated to me: ‘You are my son in whom I am well pleased.’ Not everyone is that lucky.  That’s about as much a person may ask from a father.”  

At one point, Rolheiser talks about his “father’s dance.” Since then, I have thought a lot about my dance as a father.  He writes, “Every son watches how his father dances and unconsciously sizes him up against certain things: hesitancy, fluidity, abandonment, exhibitionism, momentary irrationality, irresponsibility. “

Rolheiser remembers, “My father never had much fluidity or abandon in his dance step……I would have traded my father for a dad who had a more fluid dance step……..that is partly my struggle to receive his full blessing. He quotes a line from William Blake’s ‘Infant Sorrow,’ in which he mentions ‘Struggling in my father’s hands.'”  Rolheiser acknowledges, “that means struggling at times with my dad’s reticence to simply let go and drink in life’s full gift.”    

As a father, I wonder how the readers of this blog would describe their “dance.” I know for myself, I now wish I would have been  more fluid in my dance.  I never wondered what my kids thought of my dance. I have, however, regrets for some of my missteps in my dance. As I grew in my role as a father, I became more aware of my children’s needs both spiritually and emotionally.  But I am well aware that I did not have the right steps in communicating the father’s love for my children.

 I have reluctantly reflected on my dance, knowing my kids might have preferred a different expression.  I had my missteps and sloppy expressions.  I encourage each father reading this blog to do likewise.  I know for me, it has been a clarifying experience.  Some day I will ask each of my three children what they thought of my dance.

In this blog, I will express my dance as a coach.  I see at least four characteristics of  dad as a family coach. I have never been a coach,  but as a sports fan, I have always be intrigued by the different styles of coaching.  So, these four points are only from my observation of successful coaches. 

First, dad is the head coach.  He sets the tone and direction of the family.  He takes seriously the responsibility entrusted to him by God to head up the family.  I was the head coach of my team of five.  I was accountable for how well we played.

Secondly, the family plays the game within the rules.  For me it was vital that we followed the guidelines of scripture, even when it hurt.  We’re in the game of live.  It is my task to make sure we know how to live.  We are to live for the glory of God.  Period!  

Thirdly, take a personal interest in each player.  Each of my three children were unique gifts of God given to my wife and I to prepare for adult life. We help our children see their giftedness and abilities. Celebrate their successes.

Fourthly, encourage the team to finish strong.  Never, never give up coaching the team. There will be bumps and bruises along the way.  But in Jesus you will as a family come out victorious.