Canaan’s Rest represents a quiet place “set apart” for the purpose of hearing God's voice, growing in intimacy with the Lord, and being renewed in soul and spirit.

Category: Brother Al (Page 1 of 69)

The Great Feminization

Helen Andrews had a very insightful article in Compact entitled, “The Great Feminization.” She theorizes, “Cancel culture is simply what women do whenever there are enough of them in a given organization or field.” She is applying feminine patterns of behavior in institutions where women were few in number until recently.  Andrews observes, “Everything you think of as wokeness involves prioritizing the feminine over the masculine: empathy over rationality, safety over risk, cohesion over competition.” 

Could this be overstated.  Maybe!  According to Joy Pullmann we are experiencing a “swap.”  “We have feminization where there should be masculinity, and masculinization where there should be femininity.”  Women are pushed to act like men and men to act like women. The result suggests Pullmann is, “social transgenderism,” making men and women dysfunctional.  Instead of being too feminine, “women are not feminine enough, and men are not masculine enough.”  I agree with Pullmann that men have violated, “their natural male duty to protect the weak.”  “Men need” notes Pullman, “to shed their internalized transgender roles just as much as women do.”

Andrews goes on to state, “Female group dynamics favor consensus and cooperation.  Men order each other around; but women can only suggest and persuade.  Any criticism or negative sentiment……needs to be buried in layers of compliments.  The outcome of a discussion is less important than the fact that a discussion was held and everyone participated in it.  The most important sex difference in group dynamics is the attitude to conflict…..men wage conflict openly while women covertly undermine or ostracize their enemies.” 

“Men” according  Andrews, “tend to be better at compartmentalizing than women, and wokeness was in many ways a society-wide failure to compartmentalize.” Men tend to reconcile more readily with opponents and learn to live in peace, while women are slower to reconcile in conflict. 

Andrews goes so far as to believe the Great Feminization is a threat to civilization. Others, of course, believe it is more “an organic result of women outcompeting men.” But could it be more the artificial result of social engineering.  Andrews wonder if the window to do something about the Great Feminization is closing.  If wokeness is the result of demographic feminization, then it will never be over as long as the demographics remain unchanged. 

I have written about the feminizing of men since the early days of this blog.  I credit Leanne Payne for opening my eyes.  When  men do not lead, take responsibility, and initiate, they surrender their position in family and society.  Women who were not meant to lead or initiate will fill the void.  The result will be women being in the wrong place not able to give proper leadership.

Part of the solution for wokeness in our culture is  godly men receiving their affirmation as men from their heavenly Father.  There is a hole in the soul; an ache that is always felt, when men live as orphans away from home.  We all are prodigals  until we come home and hear the voice of our heavenly Father say, “You are my son in whom I delight.” 

The result will be affirmed men. They are secure in their gender identity and role.  In the tension  between the genders men can express “fairness” rather than harden resolve on positions. They appreciate the opposite in the feminine, celebrating equally gifted and empowered women who complement their masculine.  They see women as their equal, being fulfilled their femininity.  Rather than scapegoating, men will assume their leadership responsibilities.  Affirmed men are able to navigate “the gender wars” because they are submitted to the God who made male and female.    

  

 

The Furnace of Affliction

In Isaiah 48, the prophet confronts the exiles of Judah with their unbelief in God’s intentions for their future.   The Lord questions the exiles’ unenthusiastic response to his message.  “For a long time now, I’ve let you in on the way I work” (Is. 48:3 MGS).  He called them “stubborn” having neck muscles of iron and foreheads of bronze. They seemed to have more faith in their idols’ assumptions. “You have my predictions and seen them fulfilled, but you refuse to admit it (Is. 48:6).

God, knew their history of unbelief.  God reminded them of the past, when he had made them aware of his divine plan. “That is why I told you what would happen; I told you beforehand what I was going to do. Then you could never say, ‘My idols did it. My wooden image and metal god commanded it to happen'” (Is.48:5).  The people had  attributed the course of events to some agent other than God.  But Isaiah reminds them  that God moves sovereignly through history according to his divine purpose. 

In verse 6 God tells of a “new thing.”  As the Message puts it, “I have a lot more to tell you, things you never knew existed.  This isn’t a variation on the same old thing.  This is new, brand-new, something you’ve never guess or dream up.” (Is. 48:7-8 MSG).  God was in control, as He moved in new ways.  But the prophet was accusing them of being poor listeners.  They had a history of ignoring what God was telling them, while assuming they knew better.  

But God had been patient with his people even though they had been poor listeners.  He told them, “For my own name’s sake I delay my wrath; for the sake of my praise I hold it back from you, so as not to destroy you completely.” (v 9).  Instead of putting their trust in almighty God, the people of God trusted more in their own assumptions about the future.   God wanted his people to trust him with their future.

 Gaven Ortland, points out in his commentary on Isaiah, “God is never defeated. He has a purpose even in the painful upheavals of history.  He has resolved not to punish us as we deserve, but to bring his glory to triumphant finality in human history.  It is God’s glory alone  that guarantees our future.” 

The prophet declares God is using their present situation to refine the people.  He asks, “Do you see what I’ve done?  I’ve refined you, but not without fire.  I’ve tested you like silver in the furnace of affliction.  Out of myself, simply because of who I am, I do what I do.  I have my reputation to keep up.  I’m not playing second fiddle to either gods or people” (Is 40:10-11 MSG). The punishment of invasion and exile is compared to the smelting process designed to remove impurities from fine metals like silver. 

As followers of Jesus, during this confused time, followers of Jesus need to cultivate a “listening ear” to what God is saying, rather then voices generated by unbelief, due to the idols of our day.  God has been patient with us.  He has held back his anger, for the sake and honor of his name.  He knows the rebellious nature of our response to his Word.  

Our heavenly Father is up to something new.  It is beyond our comprehension at this time.  Part of the process is our being refined.  But God promises to rescue us for his sake.  He states, “I have my reputation to keep.  I’m not playing second fiddle to either gods or people” (Is 48:11 MSG).

 

 

The Attack on Men

I have found  Anthony Bradley to have keen insights on the struggle of men in our culture.   He has recently published a study in Exodus.  In a recent blog he notes, “In the grand spiritual war against God’s people, the enemy’s strategy is both ancient and terrifyingly consistent: to dismantle the Church, and attacks its men.  This is a demonic tactic, aimed at severing covenant confidence, breaking the chain of leadership, and leaving God’s people exposed and defenseless.”  Bradley goes on to argues, “the life of Moses, detailed in Exodus, serves as the ultimate case study, revealing the mechanics of this demonic assault  and more importantly God’s powerful counter-strategy for forging the kind of faithful manhood that can withstand it.” 

His use of Exodus has been informative.  “The assault begins with Pharaoh’s decree to kill all Hebrew male infants, an act of political brutality that is at its core a spiritual objective,” observes Bradley. “The devil, seeking to prevent the rise of a prophesied deliverer, finds a willing partner in a ruler consumed by what psychoanalyst Karen Horney identified as ‘neurotic pride.'”   Neurotic pride exposes Pharoah as being vulnerable, causing him to response in rage.  This psychological fragility is called by scholar R.J. Rummel, “democide:” the murder of a people by their own  government. 

Bradley maintains, “centuries later, the devil’s playbook is run again with chilling precision. When King Herod hears of the birth of a rival ‘king of the Jews,’ the same neurotic pride is wounded.  His response is the identical demonic strategy: kill the boys of Bethlehem to eliminate the infant Christ ( Matt 1:18-2:23).  This recurring pattern confirms a demonic agenda, not a historical anomaly.”

Desiring to take my place in our culture, as a man committed to the Lord, I need to be forewarned that as a nation we are under spiritual attack.  Being under spiritual attack is often overlooked, when we consider the breakup of the family.  Patriarchy – the leadership and headship of men is under attack.  Various radical movements, according to Mary  Eberstadt exposes “the threefold crisis of filial attachment that has beset the Western world for more than a half a century.  Deprived of father, Father, and partria, a critical mass of humanity has become socially dysfunctional on a scale not seen before.” Young men, today, “have been left alone in the cosmos with nothing to guide them, not even a firm grasp of what constitutes their basic humanity, and no means of finding the way home.”

 I look back with some regret at the first hears of my marriage (marriage -1965).  I did not  comprehend my role as husband and father, while wanting to follow and serve Jesus.  I was  ordained as a pastor, before scripture helped me see my place as man of God in my family.  The turning point  was the reading of Larry Christianson’s book “The Christian Family” (1970).  I read Larry’s explanation of Eph. 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” I have never read anything as convicting since those days in the early 70’s.

As a result, only by the grace of God and my continually crying out for his mercy, I have remained faithful in my role as husband and father since reading Larry’s book over 60 years ago.  For me, it has meant the following.  First, I have not abandoned my post, even though I have wanting to give up responsibility.  Secondly, I have kept at my post in the continual battle with the enemy.  And thirdly, I am thankful that God has carried me this far.  I want to help others to stay at their post. 

 

  

 

Full Fat Orthodoxy

Anthony Bradley continues to be an insightful  source of material for my blog on masculinity.  He recently post a blog entitled, “Secularism lied to boys and men.”  He notes how Gen Z men are running back to church for the truth they were denied.  “The boys and men in the West are not alright,” warns Bradley, “adrift in a culture of digital distraction, economic volatility, and profound loneliness, a generation of young men is waking up to the fact that the secular world has broken its promise.  Secularism doesn’t work.  It was all a big fat lie.” 

Bradley references the recent data from the UK showing a quiet but powerful current that seems to be pulling a growing number of young men toward an ancient faith.  There is a conscious rebellion or as some call it “a quiet revival” against a trivial society. It is “a search for an anchor in the form of a rigorous full fat orthodox Christianity.” Bradley asks, “Why are the lost boys of the secular age finding their way back to God, and what does their journey tell us about the future of the West?”

Gen Z is a generation whose consciousness has been shaped by perpetual crisis, economic precarity, and the hollowing out of communal life.  It has produced a generation of spiritually destitute young men.  “Disenchanted with the the triviality and banality of a screen-addicted society, young converts are searching for transcendence – for something beautiful, awesome, and enduring.”  Young men are being drawn to a robust, full fat orthodoxy and the stability of its deep historical and institutional roots.  They is a search for “rediscovery of an inheritance.”  

Gen Z is experiencing a crisis of meaning. The structural failure in culture has created a new demand for the Christian message.  Young men are being drawn to Christianity because of its “truth claims.”  “The Christian faith,” notes Bradley, “is not being adopted as a mere therapeutic tool but as a comprehensive framework for a flourishing human life…..The church is functioning as it was designed: as a community of belonging and purpose, offering a coherent answer to the alienation that plagues the modern West.”  

Young people are rejecting a “half fat” gospel in favor of the “full fat” orthodoxy of historic Christianity.  They are drawn to the radical, counter-cultural, and comprehensive claims of the gospel.  Bradley wonders,  “What is happening in the UK should serve as a sober-minded and encouraging case study for the church in North America. It suggests that as the secular narrative continues to exhaust itself, opportunities will emerge.  The question is whether the church will be ready with a compelling, orthodox, and deeply communal expression of the faith that offers a true alternative to a world that has lost its way.”

The last sentence in the previous paragraph presents, in my opinion, a challenge to the men of my generation.  Do we have a compelling story of the good news that will speak to generation Z?  Do we have a full fat orthodoxy or is it a “half fat” message?  I accept this challenge from Bradley.  Young men are searching for an anchor in their lives, living in a secular culture that seems to be exhausted?

As the writer of this blog, I have not changed in my convictions.  Articulating the truth is vital.  Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8;32). I believe in a “full fat” orthodoxy.  I have continued to cry out for older men, like myself, to mentor and gather with younger men.  Masculinity is “caught more than taught.”  Finally, I need to act like a real man. 

 

I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day

The week before Christmas, our senior apartments had our annual Christmas party.  I began our time together with a prayer of thanksgiving and blessing.  In my prayer, I reflected on how so many of us had  memories of past Christmases with family get-togethers,  Now we were away from family, living with seniors, knowing that our days were numbered.  Yet, we could celebrate the birth of Jesus, knowing that we will soon be going home, since Jesus had come to prepare a place for us. The bells I heard in my youth, sound more loudly as I anticipate my going home to be with Jesus. 

We sang many of the old traditional carols, along with familiar songs of the season. I was struck how we all knew the songs by heart.  Memories flooded our thoughts as we sang. While the hymns, seemed to keep Jesus in the season, many of the seasonal songs seemed almost out of place.  For example, Bing Crosby’s  “White Christmas,”  and “Walking In a Winter Wonderland.”  Much has changed in our culture.  All the seasonal songs relate to traditions and memories of our childhood.  But with the carols, it seems different.  We were singing about the birth of Jesus, which to me, seemed as relevant today, as when I  sang  them over 60 years ago in Negaunee, Mich.

I thought about our present moment, for all of us, old folks, as we sang, “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.”  The  first verse speaks clearly of the  meaning of Christmas. “I heard to bells on Christmas day, Their old familiar carols play/ And wild and sweet the words repeat, Of peace On Earth, good Will to Men/ I thought as how this day had come, / The belfries of all Christendom, Had rung so long the unbroken song of Peace on Earth Good Will to Men.” Yes, the carols of Christmas would once again declare “the unbroken song” that declares Jesus was the one who brought peace and good will, which seemed to be in short supply in our day

It was the second stanza that caused me to sing more joyfully and confidently as all the seniors of Northern Lakes Senior Living sang: “And in despair, I bowed my head, ‘There is no peace on earth,’  I said, / ‘For hate is strong and mocks the song of Peace on Earth Good Will to Men./Then pealed the bells more loud and deep, / ‘God is not dead, nor doth He sleep./ The wrong shall fail, the right prevail/ with Peace on Earth Good Will to Men.’  

I worshipped the Lord, as we song the second stanza. It meant more to me in 2025.  I have the tendency to “despair” about the state of our world today.  I am living in a land where “deaths of despair” are on the increase.  It seems the voice of negativity reigns loudly in my day.  I can find myself “bowing my head” in despair.  I contemplate – “There is no peace on earth.”  What bother me most is, “hate is strong and mocks the song of Peace on Earth Good Will to Men.”

Then in the company of other senior believers, I remember the old, old story of Jesus and His love, being told  for 2,000 years.  Yes, the song will continue to be heard “loud and clear.”  “Then pealed the bells more loud and deep, “God is not dead, nor doth He sleep. The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with Peace On Earth Good Will To Men.”  

I can sing with confidence as I remember the words of Jesus.  “He who testifies to these things says, ‘Yes, I am coming soon.’   Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.”  (Rev. 22:21)

 

 

Late Have I Loved You

The following is a poem from St. Augustine.  It is the work of God’s grace and mercy in my spiritual journey, that I would dare post one of Augustine’s poems.  He has always been far above me in intellect, experience and spiritual insight.  But I can now testify that the words of this poem are alive with meaning for me.  Here is the poem:  

Late have I love you, / Beauty so ancient and so new, / late have I loved you!     Lo, you were within, / but I outside, seeking there for you, / and upon the shapely things you have made / I rushed headlong, / I, misshapen. / You were with me but I was not with you. /They held me back far from you, / those things which would have no being / were they not in you.        You called, shouted, broke through my deafness; /you flared, blazed, banished my blindness; / you lavished your fragrance, / I grasped, and now I pant for you; / I tasted you, and I hunger and thirst; / you touched me, and I burned for your peace. 

It was in the early 80’s that I discovered the rich spiritual stream in the early church.  I had never be exposed to this stream.  Most of what I had learned and experienced was from the Reformation and to the present.  At first it was very difficult for me to integrate this contemplative, mystical stream.  But slowly over the years through much soul searching, I have at my age become comfortable with the contemplative tradition.  The words of Karl Rahner has stuck with me over the years. “The Christian of tomorrow will be a mystic, or he will be nothing.”  I believe that time has come.

I now know the love of God that goes deeper, while knowing how far I still have grow in being a loving person.  I was in my 40’s when I came to the realization that God delighted in me.  Beyond my shame and vulnerability I was indeed “God beloved.”  God has always loved me, even without my trying to win his approval.  

Another awakening for me, was the realization that “God was within me.”  I had sought him “outside” while he was “within.”  Jesus’ final words in the high priestly prayer, took on new life for me.  “I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (John 17:26).  I often would quote John 14:23 in my sermons. “My Father will love him and we will come to him and make our home with him.”  For a long time I would put my hand on my heart and say, “God lives within me.”  It was a major spiritual breakthrough for me

Augustine confessed, “Lo, you were within, but I outside, seeking there for you….”  I now know better.  But I still get caught in my old patterns.  It is not who I am, what I have and what I do that counts.  It is the fact that God is within me and loves me in spite of myself.  He will give the grace to stand strong in him.  

Finally, the last part of Augustine’s poem resonate with me today.  God continues to break through my deafness and blindness.  These days are days of expanding my soul life.  I now can truthfully say, “I pant for God.”  I have learned to taste the goodness of God.  “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” (Ps 34:7)

 

 

Teaching Friendship

“Teach them friendship” is the title of an article by college professor, Bryan Baise in Mere Orthodoxy.  At the end of his discussion he notes, “Masculinity cannot be fixed by presidents, politicians, or platformed theologians clamoring into the void that ‘they alone can fix it.’  It will take slow, deliberate work that recognizes men are good for society, they are worth the time and investment, and there are mediating institutions worth investing one’s life and energy into forming and building for the common good.”  

The author believes a lot of the chatter about masculinity is a “mirrored recklessness.”  One opinion holds that masculinity has no original content.  But the author cautions, “We should be able to say something about what it means to be men that is not merely culturally informed,” but is unique to men, created in the image of God.  The concept of a man can have different  expressions at various stages of history, but we can recognize a “unity of concept with different kinds of expression.”  We must be careful in not demoting masculinity.  Men need help in living out their unique masculine story.  Mirrored recklessness can express “the fatal conceit that suggests masculinity must  be express in a certain kind of external posture.”  In the confusion of forcing men into certain expectations  can result in emotional confusion.  

Then there is the concern about male connection. The focus is usually on shared activity, rather than hearing men’s stories, especially the emotional pain  of the soul.   But what does friendship look like in the “current malaise of masculinity.”  “Friendship is a fabric of created order that shapes both person and place.”  Baise suggests, “Men’s existence is good, they are more than mere utility and their life is valuable.  Friendship offers the promise of helping men see their uniqueness, if only they will have the ears to hear.  It offers a window into the world of sacrifice, love, courage, and vulnerability, where  dying to self means taking up responsibilities.” 

“A recovery of manhood is a recovery of a unique expression of human dignity.”  In friendship, beliefs and friends are embodied in a unique rhythm of life.   There is something good about masculinity that cannot be reduced to its function.  But this will be slow work.  “There is no set agenda, no end or purpose beyond just being together.”  Through friendship men “can begin the slow remaking of what has been unmade.”  It can be a tool in helping men understand their masculinity as being more than bravado, not explained away by cultural mythos.  

Male friendship can teach men they have something unique to contribute to our culture.  By focusing on male character and inviting men into the process, we can “begin the slow work of removing their chains, inviting them out of the graveyard and into a life of cultivating the goods of friendship and in doing so become more like men.”

Proverbs 17:17 tells us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”  Proverbs 18:24 reminds us, “….there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” while Prov.27:6 declares, “wounds from a friend can be trusted.”  Male friendship is a gift from the Lord.  My friendship with Dan. Bruce and now Scott has been a  slow, deliberate work.   We have met regularly for over three years. We are soul mates who share our stories of faith and our struggles to be men of God.  I am grateful for my male soul mates.  I can be myself, knowing I am loved for who I really am.  I sincerely desire to be authentic and real.    

 

 

 

A Country singer of sad love songs

The prophecy of Ezekiel contains strange visions, images, and messages that seem very remote from our every day life in America.  Ezekiel prophecy was delivered during the difficult days of Judah’s exile in Babylon (605-538 bc).  He was writing to people who would not accept that God was at work in the midst of their national disaster.  But the prophet saw in “wild and unforgettable images, elaborated in exuberant detail” (Peterson), of how God was working in the midst judgement.  

The people could not bring themselves to see what God was doing in their day.  It wasn’t only a response of denial, there were others who lived in despair.  In the devastation they lost everything.  But Ezekiel was determined to show the people that God would using the devastation for their good.  He showed them God was present, working in the wreckage and rubble, sovereignly using the disaster to create a new people of God.  There was hope beyond denial or despair.

God warned Ezekiel that the people of Judah would prefer to have life go on as usual, not caring to face the collapse of society all around them.  Ezekiel 33:30-32 paints a picture of how the people perceived the ministry of Ezekiel.  “As for you, son of man, you’ve become quite the talk of the town.  Your people meet on street corners and in front of their houses and say, ‘Let’s go hear the latest news from God.’  They show up, as people tend to do, and sit in your company.  They listen to you speak, but don’t do a thing you say.  They flatter you with compliments, but all they care about is making money and getting ahead.  To them you’re merely entertainment – a country singer of sad love songs, playing a guitar.  They love to hear you talk, but nothing comes of it.” (Message)  

When God called Ezekiel, he told the prophet, “But when all this happens – and it is going to happen! – they’ll realize that a prophet was among them” (Ezk. 33:33).  God had, however, warned Ezekiel earlier, “You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen – for they are rebellious.  But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you.  Do not rebel like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.” (Ezk. 2:8).

I picture the prophet chewing day after day on what God was saying to him.  I’m sure it didn’t fit the cultural or religious narrative of the day.  God warned Ezekiel that he lived among people who were spiritually blind and deaf. “Son of man, you are living among a rebellious people.  They have eyes to see but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear, for they are a rebellious people. (Ezk. 12:2)

Today the dominant narrative has conditioned people to have “itching ears.”  II Tim 4:3-4 warns of us a culture not wanting to hear the truth. “For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine.  Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” 

Could it be that we prefer “a cowboy singer of sad love songs, playing a guitar.”  It seems to me that our culture has been conditioned by all the “influencers” to produce many who have “itching ears” listening to countless voices, reassuring them of peace rather than a collapse  of our way of life.  Jesus warn us, “Watch out that no one deceive you” (Mk. 13:5).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Being Tenderhearted

Recently I read an article entitled, “The solution to the ‘Emotional Labor’ problem.” It convicted me as a husband, married to the same woman for 60 years to be more “tenderhearted.”  Paul gives this exhortation in Eph 4:32, “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Eph 4:32 NLT).  I’m also reminds in Col 3:12 of being clothed “with tenderhearted mercy.” The Message makes clear my need to be dressed in the proper wardrobe relationally with my wife. “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline” (Col. 3:12 MSG).  I wonder how many of married men need to work on their emotional wardrobe at home.  I am challenged to do so, most every day.

The article quotes a little known British singer-songwriter, Paris Paloma’s song “labor” which skyrocketed in popularity in the UK.   The lyrics include: “All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid/ Nymph, then a virgin, nurse, then a servant/ Just an appendage, live to attend him/ So that he never lifts a finger/ 24/7 baby machine/ So he can live out his picket-fence dreams/ It’s not an act of love if you make her/ You make me do too much labor.”  One review observed, “the song’s explosive, furious lyrics struck a chord with millions of young women at the end of their tether who have used the track to share their own experiences of misogyny, and the need for an avenue to direct the fury that’s been smoldering inside them.”    

It sure made me wonder if I was guilty of causing my wife to carry an “emotional load.”  Social scientist Katie Jgln is quoted, “It’s not just the amount of domestic labor that women in relationships with men have to do that exhausts us – it’s all the emotional and cognitive labor too.”  She describes the burdens of maintaining relationships with men, usually includes, “regularly checking on their day and feelings, being mindful of their changing moods and regulating your emotions accordingly, or even helping them out in their relationships with other people.”  

The assumption is that men cannot be trusted to manage their own emotions.  Men are viewed as failing to adequately process their emotions – so that women must pick up the slack.  There is a fine line when women are taught to accept as their duty from an early age – keeping the peace while not upsetting their partner.  But this “emotional monitoring” can be a tiresome effort to keep the peace in a relationship.   

The author of the article, Emily Starr Kwilinski sees a better way of dealing with the issues of “emotional Labor.”  “Rather than accepting unhealthy relationship patterns, women can choose to let go of culturally conditioned distrust.  We can put down emotional burdens that aren’t ours to carry, stepping forward into the kind of self-respect that allows men and women to relate to one another more freely.”

I thought of Paul’s words in Eph 4:2-3, “Always be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.  Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.”  

Lord, help us as men to graciously carry our emotional load in marriage and not expect our wives to “fix” what only God can heal in our broken male hearts.  Help us to be “grown men” who can face our relational faults, being humble enough to admit we fail to be “tenderhearted” because of our immature attitudes to our wives.  Paul reminds us, “He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph 6:28) 

 

 

 

 

Backsliding

Jeremiah was called by God to be a prophet.  He became known as “the weeping prophet” because his words of warning were never accepted.  He expresses his exasperation. “Oh, that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears! I would weep day and night for the slain of my people.” (Jer. 9:1) He had a front row seat to the judgment of God upon his own people.

God gave him a  daunting assignment. “I have put my words in your mouth.  See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant” (Jer. 1:9-10).  He was to  warn both nations and kingdoms of  coming judgment.  But, he was forewarned, “they did not listen or pay attention;  they were stiff-necked and would not listen or respond to discipline” (Jer. 17:23).  He had to live with the consequences of a rejected message.  He cried, “Oh, my anguish, my anguish!  I writhe in pain.  Oh, the agony of my heart!  My heart pounds within me. I cannot keep silent.” (Jer. 4:19).  He know what was coming. “For I have heard the sound of the trumpet; I have heard the battle cry.” (v 21). 

He message only hardened their hearts. “But these people have stubborn and rebellious hearts; they have turned aside and gone away.” (Jer. 5:23)  It was not easy for the prophet to say, “They are all hardened rebels, going about to slander. They are bronze and iron; they all act corruptly.” (Jer. 6:28) 

Imagine if what you had to speak as God’s messenger to people who were characterized as “bronze and iron.”  Jeremiah, however had to accept his mission as a “tester of metals.” (Jer 6:27)  This seems like a thankless job.  But He had God’s  assurance, “Today I  have made you a fortified city, and iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land…….They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you.” (Jer 1:18-19)

One phrase used by Jeremiah is the word “backsliding.”  The implication was the spiritual life of the people was going backward, not forward in the Lord.  They were not listening to the call of God to move forward in obedience.  Rather they had become enculturated in accommodating their belief and practice with the popular culture.  “Your wickedness will punish you; your backsliding will rebuke you; Consider then and realize how evil and bitter it is for you when you forsake the Lord your God and have no awe of me.” (Jer2:19). “‘You have rejected me,'” declares the Lord.  “‘You  keep on backsliding.  So I will lay hands on you and destroy you.  I can no longer show compassion.'” (Jer. 15:6). The Lord continued to call the people back. “Return, faithless people; I will cure you of backsliding.” (Jer. 3:22)

 One way Jeremiah visualized turning back, was for the people to break up their heartened hearts.  “Break up your unplowed ground and do not sow among thorns.  Circumcise yourselves to the Lord, circumcise your hearts” (Jer. 4:5)  Hosea painted a similar picture,  “Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you” ( Hosea 10: 12).  The people were not paying attention to their hearts. 

I wonder with all the talk of a “new vibe” in our culture, if we don’t need  to go deeper, plowing up the hardness of our hearts?  How far have we backslidden, with hardened hearts.  The “new vibe” is only temporary.  

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