Category: Brother Al (Page 1 of 69)

Jeremiah was called by God to  warn the people of Judah.   One of the words he uses to describe their lifestyle is the word “deceit.”  Deceit in today’s culture is described as “the practice of deceiving; concealment or distortion of the truth for the purpose of misleading; duplicity; fraud; cheating.” In 5:27 the prophet accuses the wicked of living in houses “full of deceit.” “The wicked lie in wait like men who snare birds and  like those who set traps to catch people.  Like cages full of birds, their houses are full of deceit” (Jer. 5:26-7). 

These wicked men were compared to hunters luring unsuspecting birds into a trap. The poor were helpless in resisting their schemes.  “Like cages filled with small birds used for sacrifices their houses were filled with the possessions acquired by their deceitful practices” (Huey).  The Message describes it well, “My people are infiltrated by wicked men, unscrupulous men on the hunt. They set traps for the unsuspecting.  Their victims are innocent men and women. Their houses are stuffed with ill-gotten gain, like a hunter’s beg full of birds.” (Jer. 5:26-7).

It seems that deceit was all pervasive in the culture.  “From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; prophet and priest alike, all practice deceit” (Jer. 6:13).  The amplified says, “Everyone deals deceitfully.” The prophet laments their attitude, “They cling to deceit; they refuse to return” (Jer 8:5).  The ESV says they are in “perpetual backsliding.” The prophets and priests alike, “all practice deceit” (Jer. 8:10).  But they refused to change.  The Lord declares, “You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me (Jer. 9:6).

It has begun to cause conflict in relationships.  God warns them of social disorder due to their deceitful practices.  “Friend deceive friend, and no one speaks the truth.  They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning.  You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me” (Jer. 9:4). Their tongue were like, ” a deadly arrow; it speaks with deceit.  With his mouths they all speak cordially to their neighbors, but in their hearts they set traps for them” (Jer 9:8).  

Above all, in Chapter 7, Jeremiah points out the deception of their worship.  “Do not trust in deceptive words and say, ‘This is the temple of the Lord.'” (Jer. 7:5).  In their worship, they were, “trusting in deceptive words that are worthless” (Jer. 7:8).  The people felt they were safe, “safe to do all these detestable things” (Jer. 7:10)  The Lord was watching as his house became “a den of robbers.”  

God told Jeremiah not to pray for them any longer.  For the people, “did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts” (Jer. 7:24).  They were going, “backward and not forward” (Jer. 7:24).  God warned Jeremiah, “When you tell them all this, they will not listen to you, when you call to them, they will not listen” (Jer. 7:27).  Their worship was deceptive:  false and only going through the motion.  Why!! Because, “Truth has perished; it has vanished from their lips” (Jer. 7:28)

With all the deception in our culture, we need vigilance in our worship of God.  It can become rote and filled with worthless word, where  we, “only pretend to be sorry” (Jer. 3:10).  We have nothing to boast about. “But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things” (Jer. 9:24)

Christian artist, Josh Baldwin, has recorded a  song entitled, “Full grown man.”  The title and the song itself,  stuck me as a song that would relate to men.  I like Baldwin, not only for the content of his songs, but the manner in which he performs.  I have a sense that his masculine manner connects with many younger men.  

As a seasoned follower of Jesus, who embraced the Christian music during the “Jesus Movement,” I compare Baldwin to one of my favorites during those early days of revival, the voice of Don Francisco.  His music, the words and the manner in which I experienced Francisco’s ministry, spoke to my masculine soul, especially the song, “Adam, where are you?”  At that time I was still a young man learning to enter into manhood.  I knew very little about my masculine soul.

Baldwin’s style and lyrics speak to a lost and confused male audience, with the continuous refrain, “He was a full grown Man at a very young age.” “He was Son of God, Son of Man/ Who walked the earth to heal this land/ He lived and died, rose to save/ A full grown Man at a very young age.” “At thirty-three He gave His life away/ As a full grown Man at a very young age/ He died a full grown Man at a very young age.” The song ends with these liberating words for a young man to hear. “And on the cross He offered His life as the altar/ So I could live free.”   

I thought of Hebrews 5:8 -9, when thinking of Jesus as a full grown man. “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and once made prefect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.”  Jesus became a full grown Man at a very young age.  He, “offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard  because of his reverent submission” (Heb. 7:7). 

Peter exhorts us to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.  “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps” ( I Peter 2:21).  I am grateful for Jesus being, “obedient – even death on a cross” (Phil 2:8).   His Father affirmed His only Son, at thirty years of age, when he began his ministry, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11).  

For men, Jesus is our our example.  We are to keep our eyes on Him.  He was full grown man, at a very young age.  I had my personal struggles during my 20’s and early 30’s.  There was a time at the age of 28, when  I wondered if I was a full grown man.  My experience in life seemed to be pointing me in a positive direction.  Yet there was a great deal more to learn about my own personal masculine soul.  Now at 84, I am finishing the journey.  I am humbly grateful to the Lord, for guiding me into the awareness that I am affirmed as a man, before my heavenly father. 

The more I read about Gen Z, the more I sense a deep burden to pray for them on the masculine journey.  When and how will they know they are “full grown men.”  Sports commentators often describe a football players, playing as full grown men.  The tragedy in America, finds young men searching emotionally and spiritually; wondering if they are “full grown men.”  We desperately need full grown men to be models for the younger generation of “lost boys.”    

I read Ronald Rolheiser’s blog often.  He expresses views outside my comfort zone, yet he has a way of writing that speaks to my soul, especially when it comes to relationships.  A recent blog was entitled “A father’s Blessing.”  He lost his father when he was 23 year old.  But he has admiration for his father.  “Like God’s voice at the baptism of Jesus, he had already communicated to me: ‘You are my son in whom I am well pleased.’ Not everyone is that lucky.  That’s about as much a person may ask from a father.”  

At one point, Rolheiser talks about his “father’s dance.” Since then, I have thought a lot about my dance as a father.  He writes, “Every son watches how his father dances and unconsciously sizes him up against certain things: hesitancy, fluidity, abandonment, exhibitionism, momentary irrationality, irresponsibility. “

Rolheiser remembers, “My father never had much fluidity or abandon in his dance step……I would have traded my father for a dad who had a more fluid dance step……..that is partly my struggle to receive his full blessing. He quotes a line from William Blake’s ‘Infant Sorrow,’ in which he mentions ‘Struggling in my father’s hands.'”  Rolheiser acknowledges, “that means struggling at times with my dad’s reticence to simply let go and drink in life’s full gift.”    

As a father, I wonder how the readers of this blog would describe their “dance.” I know for myself, I now wish I would have been  more fluid in my dance.  I never wondered what my kids thought of my dance. I have, however, regrets for some of my missteps in my dance. As I grew in my role as a father, I became more aware of my children’s needs both spiritually and emotionally.  But I am well aware that I did not have the right steps in communicating the father’s love for my children.

 I have reluctantly reflected on my dance, knowing my kids might have preferred a different expression.  I had my missteps and sloppy expressions.  I encourage each father reading this blog to do likewise.  I know for me, it has been a clarifying experience.  Some day I will ask each of my three children what they thought of my dance.

In this blog, I will express my dance as a coach.  I see at least four characteristics of  dad as a family coach. I have never been a coach,  but as a sports fan, I have always be intrigued by the different styles of coaching.  So, these four points are only from my observation of successful coaches. 

First, dad is the head coach.  He sets the tone and direction of the family.  He takes seriously the responsibility entrusted to him by God to head up the family.  I was the head coach of my team of five.  I was accountable for how well we played.

Secondly, the family plays the game within the rules.  For me it was vital that we followed the guidelines of scripture, even when it hurt.  We’re in the game of live.  It is my task to make sure we know how to live.  We are to live for the glory of God.  Period!  

Thirdly, take a personal interest in each player.  Each of my three children were unique gifts of God given to my wife and I to prepare for adult life. We help our children see their giftedness and abilities. Celebrate their successes.

Fourthly, encourage the team to finish strong.  Never, never give up coaching the team. There will be bumps and bruises along the way.  But in Jesus you will as a family come out victorious.  

Helen Andrews had a very insightful article in Compact entitled, “The Great Feminization.” She theorizes, “Cancel culture is simply what women do whenever there are enough of them in a given organization or field.” She is applying feminine patterns of behavior in institutions where women were few in number until recently.  Andrews observes, “Everything you think of as wokeness involves prioritizing the feminine over the masculine: empathy over rationality, safety over risk, cohesion over competition.” 

Could this be overstated.  Maybe!  According to Joy Pullmann we are experiencing a “swap.”  “We have feminization where there should be masculinity, and masculinization where there should be femininity.”  Women are pushed to act like men and men to act like women. The result suggests Pullmann is, “social transgenderism,” making men and women dysfunctional.  Instead of being too feminine, “women are not feminine enough, and men are not masculine enough.”  I agree with Pullmann that men have violated, “their natural male duty to protect the weak.”  “Men need” notes Pullman, “to shed their internalized transgender roles just as much as women do.”

Andrews goes on to state, “Female group dynamics favor consensus and cooperation.  Men order each other around; but women can only suggest and persuade.  Any criticism or negative sentiment……needs to be buried in layers of compliments.  The outcome of a discussion is less important than the fact that a discussion was held and everyone participated in it.  The most important sex difference in group dynamics is the attitude to conflict…..men wage conflict openly while women covertly undermine or ostracize their enemies.” 

“Men” according  Andrews, “tend to be better at compartmentalizing than women, and wokeness was in many ways a society-wide failure to compartmentalize.” Men tend to reconcile more readily with opponents and learn to live in peace, while women are slower to reconcile in conflict. 

Andrews goes so far as to believe the Great Feminization is a threat to civilization. Others, of course, believe it is more “an organic result of women outcompeting men.” But could it be more the artificial result of social engineering.  Andrews wonder if the window to do something about the Great Feminization is closing.  If wokeness is the result of demographic feminization, then it will never be over as long as the demographics remain unchanged. 

I have written about the feminizing of men since the early days of this blog.  I credit Leanne Payne for opening my eyes.  When  men do not lead, take responsibility, and initiate, they surrender their position in family and society.  Women who were not meant to lead or initiate will fill the void.  The result will be women being in the wrong place not able to give proper leadership.

Part of the solution for wokeness in our culture is  godly men receiving their affirmation as men from their heavenly Father.  There is a hole in the soul; an ache that is always felt, when men live as orphans away from home.  We all are prodigals  until we come home and hear the voice of our heavenly Father say, “You are my son in whom I delight.” 

The result will be affirmed men. They are secure in their gender identity and role.  In the tension  between the genders men can express “fairness” rather than harden resolve on positions. They appreciate the opposite in the feminine, celebrating equally gifted and empowered women who complement their masculine.  They see women as their equal, being fulfilled their femininity.  Rather than scapegoating, men will assume their leadership responsibilities.  Affirmed men are able to navigate “the gender wars” because they are submitted to the God who made male and female.    

In Isaiah 48, the prophet confronts the exiles of Judah with their unbelief in God’s intentions for their future.   The Lord questions the exiles’ unenthusiastic response to his message.  “For a long time now, I’ve let you in on the way I work” (Is. 48:3 MGS).  He called them “stubborn” having neck muscles of iron and foreheads of bronze. They seemed to have more faith in their idols’ assumptions. “You have my predictions and seen them fulfilled, but you refuse to admit it (Is. 48:6).

God, knew their history of unbelief.  God reminded them of the past, when he had made them aware of his divine plan. “That is why I told you what would happen; I told you beforehand what I was going to do. Then you could never say, ‘My idols did it. My wooden image and metal god commanded it to happen'” (Is.48:5).  The people had  attributed the course of events to some agent other than God.  But Isaiah reminds them  that God moves sovereignly through history according to his divine purpose. 

In verse 6 God tells of a “new thing.”  As the Message puts it, “I have a lot more to tell you, things you never knew existed.  This isn’t a variation on the same old thing.  This is new, brand-new, something you’ve never guess or dream up.” (Is. 48:7-8 MSG).  God was in control, as He moved in new ways.  But the prophet was accusing them of being poor listeners.  They had a history of ignoring what God was telling them, while assuming they knew better.  

But God had been patient with his people even though they had been poor listeners.  He told them, “For my own name’s sake I delay my wrath; for the sake of my praise I hold it back from you, so as not to destroy you completely.” (v 9).  Instead of putting their trust in almighty God, the people of God trusted more in their own assumptions about the future.   God wanted his people to trust him with their future.

 Gaven Ortland, points out in his commentary on Isaiah, “God is never defeated. He has a purpose even in the painful upheavals of history.  He has resolved not to punish us as we deserve, but to bring his glory to triumphant finality in human history.  It is God’s glory alone  that guarantees our future.” 

The prophet declares God is using their present situation to refine the people.  He asks, “Do you see what I’ve done?  I’ve refined you, but not without fire.  I’ve tested you like silver in the furnace of affliction.  Out of myself, simply because of who I am, I do what I do.  I have my reputation to keep up.  I’m not playing second fiddle to either gods or people” (Is 40:10-11 MSG). The punishment of invasion and exile is compared to the smelting process designed to remove impurities from fine metals like silver. 

As followers of Jesus, during this confused time, followers of Jesus need to cultivate a “listening ear” to what God is saying, rather then voices generated by unbelief, due to the idols of our day.  God has been patient with us.  He has held back his anger, for the sake and honor of his name.  He knows the rebellious nature of our response to his Word.  

Our heavenly Father is up to something new.  It is beyond our comprehension at this time.  Part of the process is our being refined.  But God promises to rescue us for his sake.  He states, “I have my reputation to keep.  I’m not playing second fiddle to either gods or people” (Is 48:11 MSG).

I have found  Anthony Bradley to have keen insights on the struggle of men in our culture.   He has recently published a study in Exodus.  In a recent blog he notes, “In the grand spiritual war against God’s people, the enemy’s strategy is both ancient and terrifyingly consistent: to dismantle the Church, and attacks its men.  This is a demonic tactic, aimed at severing covenant confidence, breaking the chain of leadership, and leaving God’s people exposed and defenseless.”  Bradley goes on to argues, “the life of Moses, detailed in Exodus, serves as the ultimate case study, revealing the mechanics of this demonic assault  and more importantly God’s powerful counter-strategy for forging the kind of faithful manhood that can withstand it.” 

His use of Exodus has been informative.  “The assault begins with Pharaoh’s decree to kill all Hebrew male infants, an act of political brutality that is at its core a spiritual objective,” observes Bradley. “The devil, seeking to prevent the rise of a prophesied deliverer, finds a willing partner in a ruler consumed by what psychoanalyst Karen Horney identified as ‘neurotic pride.'”   Neurotic pride exposes Pharoah as being vulnerable, causing him to response in rage.  This psychological fragility is called by scholar R.J. Rummel, “democide:” the murder of a people by their own  government. 

Bradley maintains, “centuries later, the devil’s playbook is run again with chilling precision. When King Herod hears of the birth of a rival ‘king of the Jews,’ the same neurotic pride is wounded.  His response is the identical demonic strategy: kill the boys of Bethlehem to eliminate the infant Christ ( Matt 1:18-2:23).  This recurring pattern confirms a demonic agenda, not a historical anomaly.”

Desiring to take my place in our culture, as a man committed to the Lord, I need to be forewarned that as a nation we are under spiritual attack.  Being under spiritual attack is often overlooked, when we consider the breakup of the family.  Patriarchy – the leadership and headship of men is under attack.  Various radical movements, according to Mary  Eberstadt exposes “the threefold crisis of filial attachment that has beset the Western world for more than a half a century.  Deprived of father, Father, and partria, a critical mass of humanity has become socially dysfunctional on a scale not seen before.” Young men, today, “have been left alone in the cosmos with nothing to guide them, not even a firm grasp of what constitutes their basic humanity, and no means of finding the way home.”

 I look back with some regret at the first hears of my marriage (marriage -1965).  I did not  comprehend my role as husband and father, while wanting to follow and serve Jesus.  I was  ordained as a pastor, before scripture helped me see my place as man of God in my family.  The turning point  was the reading of Larry Christianson’s book “The Christian Family” (1970).  I read Larry’s explanation of Eph. 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” I have never read anything as convicting since those days in the early 70’s.

As a result, only by the grace of God and my continually crying out for his mercy, I have remained faithful in my role as husband and father since reading Larry’s book over 60 years ago.  For me, it has meant the following.  First, I have not abandoned my post, even though I have wanting to give up responsibility.  Secondly, I have kept at my post in the continual battle with the enemy.  And thirdly, I am thankful that God has carried me this far.  I want to help others to stay at their post. 

Anthony Bradley continues to be an insightful  source of material for my blog on masculinity.  He recently post a blog entitled, “Secularism lied to boys and men.”  He notes how Gen Z men are running back to church for the truth they were denied.  “The boys and men in the West are not alright,” warns Bradley, “adrift in a culture of digital distraction, economic volatility, and profound loneliness, a generation of young men is waking up to the fact that the secular world has broken its promise.  Secularism doesn’t work.  It was all a big fat lie.” 

Bradley references the recent data from the UK showing a quiet but powerful current that seems to be pulling a growing number of young men toward an ancient faith.  There is a conscious rebellion or as some call it “a quiet revival” against a trivial society. It is “a search for an anchor in the form of a rigorous full fat orthodox Christianity.” Bradley asks, “Why are the lost boys of the secular age finding their way back to God, and what does their journey tell us about the future of the West?”

Gen Z is a generation whose consciousness has been shaped by perpetual crisis, economic precarity, and the hollowing out of communal life.  It has produced a generation of spiritually destitute young men.  “Disenchanted with the the triviality and banality of a screen-addicted society, young converts are searching for transcendence – for something beautiful, awesome, and enduring.”  Young men are being drawn to a robust, full fat orthodoxy and the stability of its deep historical and institutional roots.  They is a search for “rediscovery of an inheritance.”  

Gen Z is experiencing a crisis of meaning. The structural failure in culture has created a new demand for the Christian message.  Young men are being drawn to Christianity because of its “truth claims.”  “The Christian faith,” notes Bradley, “is not being adopted as a mere therapeutic tool but as a comprehensive framework for a flourishing human life…..The church is functioning as it was designed: as a community of belonging and purpose, offering a coherent answer to the alienation that plagues the modern West.”  

Young people are rejecting a “half fat” gospel in favor of the “full fat” orthodoxy of historic Christianity.  They are drawn to the radical, counter-cultural, and comprehensive claims of the gospel.  Bradley wonders,  “What is happening in the UK should serve as a sober-minded and encouraging case study for the church in North America. It suggests that as the secular narrative continues to exhaust itself, opportunities will emerge.  The question is whether the church will be ready with a compelling, orthodox, and deeply communal expression of the faith that offers a true alternative to a world that has lost its way.”

The last sentence in the previous paragraph presents, in my opinion, a challenge to the men of my generation.  Do we have a compelling story of the good news that will speak to generation Z?  Do we have a full fat orthodoxy or is it a “half fat” message?  I accept this challenge from Bradley.  Young men are searching for an anchor in their lives, living in a secular culture that seems to be exhausted?

As the writer of this blog, I have not changed in my convictions.  Articulating the truth is vital.  Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8;32). I believe in a “full fat” orthodoxy.  I have continued to cry out for older men, like myself, to mentor and gather with younger men.  Masculinity is “caught more than taught.”  Finally, I need to act like a real man. 

The week before Christmas, our senior apartments had our annual Christmas party.  I began our time together with a prayer of thanksgiving and blessing.  In my prayer, I reflected on how so many of us had  memories of past Christmases with family get-togethers,  Now we were away from family, living with seniors, knowing that our days were numbered.  Yet, we could celebrate the birth of Jesus, knowing that we will soon be going home, since Jesus had come to prepare a place for us. The bells I heard in my youth, sound more loudly as I anticipate my going home to be with Jesus. 

We sang many of the old traditional carols, along with familiar songs of the season. I was struck how we all knew the songs by heart.  Memories flooded our thoughts as we sang. While the hymns, seemed to keep Jesus in the season, many of the seasonal songs seemed almost out of place.  For example, Bing Crosby’s  “White Christmas,”  and “Walking In a Winter Wonderland.”  Much has changed in our culture.  All the seasonal songs relate to traditions and memories of our childhood.  But with the carols, it seems different.  We were singing about the birth of Jesus, which to me, seemed as relevant today, as when I  sang  them over 60 years ago in Negaunee, Mich.

I thought about our present moment, for all of us, old folks, as we sang, “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.”  The  first verse speaks clearly of the  meaning of Christmas. “I heard to bells on Christmas day, Their old familiar carols play/ And wild and sweet the words repeat, Of peace On Earth, good Will to Men/ I thought as how this day had come, / The belfries of all Christendom, Had rung so long the unbroken song of Peace on Earth Good Will to Men.” Yes, the carols of Christmas would once again declare “the unbroken song” that declares Jesus was the one who brought peace and good will, which seemed to be in short supply in our day

It was the second stanza that caused me to sing more joyfully and confidently as all the seniors of Northern Lakes Senior Living sang: “And in despair, I bowed my head, ‘There is no peace on earth,’  I said, / ‘For hate is strong and mocks the song of Peace on Earth Good Will to Men./Then pealed the bells more loud and deep, / ‘God is not dead, nor doth He sleep./ The wrong shall fail, the right prevail/ with Peace on Earth Good Will to Men.’  

I worshipped the Lord, as we song the second stanza. It meant more to me in 2025.  I have the tendency to “despair” about the state of our world today.  I am living in a land where “deaths of despair” are on the increase.  It seems the voice of negativity reigns loudly in my day.  I can find myself “bowing my head” in despair.  I contemplate – “There is no peace on earth.”  What bother me most is, “hate is strong and mocks the song of Peace on Earth Good Will to Men.”

Then in the company of other senior believers, I remember the old, old story of Jesus and His love, being told  for 2,000 years.  Yes, the song will continue to be heard “loud and clear.”  “Then pealed the bells more loud and deep, “God is not dead, nor doth He sleep. The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with Peace On Earth Good Will To Men.”  

I can sing with confidence as I remember the words of Jesus.  “He who testifies to these things says, ‘Yes, I am coming soon.’   Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.”  (Rev. 22:21)

The following is a poem from St. Augustine.  It is the work of God’s grace and mercy in my spiritual journey, that I would dare post one of Augustine’s poems.  He has always been far above me in intellect, experience and spiritual insight.  But I can now testify that the words of this poem are alive with meaning for me.  Here is the poem:  

Late have I love you, / Beauty so ancient and so new, / late have I loved you!     Lo, you were within, / but I outside, seeking there for you, / and upon the shapely things you have made / I rushed headlong, / I, misshapen. / You were with me but I was not with you. /They held me back far from you, / those things which would have no being / were they not in you.        You called, shouted, broke through my deafness; /you flared, blazed, banished my blindness; / you lavished your fragrance, / I grasped, and now I pant for you; / I tasted you, and I hunger and thirst; / you touched me, and I burned for your peace. 

It was in the early 80’s that I discovered the rich spiritual stream in the early church.  I had never be exposed to this stream.  Most of what I had learned and experienced was from the Reformation and to the present.  At first it was very difficult for me to integrate this contemplative, mystical stream.  But slowly over the years through much soul searching, I have at my age become comfortable with the contemplative tradition.  The words of Karl Rahner has stuck with me over the years. “The Christian of tomorrow will be a mystic, or he will be nothing.”  I believe that time has come.

I now know the love of God that goes deeper, while knowing how far I still have grow in being a loving person.  I was in my 40’s when I came to the realization that God delighted in me.  Beyond my shame and vulnerability I was indeed “God beloved.”  God has always loved me, even without my trying to win his approval.  

Another awakening for me, was the realization that “God was within me.”  I had sought him “outside” while he was “within.”  Jesus’ final words in the high priestly prayer, took on new life for me.  “I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (John 17:26).  I often would quote John 14:23 in my sermons. “My Father will love him and we will come to him and make our home with him.”  For a long time I would put my hand on my heart and say, “God lives within me.”  It was a major spiritual breakthrough for me

Augustine confessed, “Lo, you were within, but I outside, seeking there for you….”  I now know better.  But I still get caught in my old patterns.  It is not who I am, what I have and what I do that counts.  It is the fact that God is within me and loves me in spite of myself.  He will give the grace to stand strong in him.  

Finally, the last part of Augustine’s poem resonate with me today.  God continues to break through my deafness and blindness.  These days are days of expanding my soul life.  I now can truthfully say, “I pant for God.”  I have learned to taste the goodness of God.  “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” (Ps 34:7)

“Teach them friendship” is the title of an article by college professor, Bryan Baise in Mere Orthodoxy.  At the end of his discussion he notes, “Masculinity cannot be fixed by presidents, politicians, or platformed theologians clamoring into the void that ‘they alone can fix it.’  It will take slow, deliberate work that recognizes men are good for society, they are worth the time and investment, and there are mediating institutions worth investing one’s life and energy into forming and building for the common good.”  

The author believes a lot of the chatter about masculinity is a “mirrored recklessness.”  One opinion holds that masculinity has no original content.  But the author cautions, “We should be able to say something about what it means to be men that is not merely culturally informed,” but is unique to men, created in the image of God.  The concept of a man can have different  expressions at various stages of history, but we can recognize a “unity of concept with different kinds of expression.”  We must be careful in not demoting masculinity.  Men need help in living out their unique masculine story.  Mirrored recklessness can express “the fatal conceit that suggests masculinity must  be express in a certain kind of external posture.”  In the confusion of forcing men into certain expectations  can result in emotional confusion.  

Then there is the concern about male connection. The focus is usually on shared activity, rather than hearing men’s stories, especially the emotional pain  of the soul.   But what does friendship look like in the “current malaise of masculinity.”  “Friendship is a fabric of created order that shapes both person and place.”  Baise suggests, “Men’s existence is good, they are more than mere utility and their life is valuable.  Friendship offers the promise of helping men see their uniqueness, if only they will have the ears to hear.  It offers a window into the world of sacrifice, love, courage, and vulnerability, where  dying to self means taking up responsibilities.” 

“A recovery of manhood is a recovery of a unique expression of human dignity.”  In friendship, beliefs and friends are embodied in a unique rhythm of life.   There is something good about masculinity that cannot be reduced to its function.  But this will be slow work.  “There is no set agenda, no end or purpose beyond just being together.”  Through friendship men “can begin the slow remaking of what has been unmade.”  It can be a tool in helping men understand their masculinity as being more than bravado, not explained away by cultural mythos.  

Male friendship can teach men they have something unique to contribute to our culture.  By focusing on male character and inviting men into the process, we can “begin the slow work of removing their chains, inviting them out of the graveyard and into a life of cultivating the goods of friendship and in doing so become more like men.”

Proverbs 17:17 tells us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”  Proverbs 18:24 reminds us, “….there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” while Prov.27:6 declares, “wounds from a friend can be trusted.”  Male friendship is a gift from the Lord.  My friendship with Dan. Bruce and now Scott has been a  slow, deliberate work.   We have met regularly for over three years. We are soul mates who share our stories of faith and our struggles to be men of God.  I am grateful for my male soul mates.  I can be myself, knowing I am loved for who I really am.  I sincerely desire to be authentic and real.