As I prepare to write this blog, I confess that I feel as though I have little  to say.  I know it is the season that I am going through.  I struggled with being honest as I write, but in the end I felt that my honesty might speak to some man who reading this blog.  My recovering from hip surgery has knocked me for a loop.  It is not only the time it takes to get back to normal, but I fret about all the work that needs to be done around our place here on the lake.  I must confess, that my wife at this time is my pillar. I  confess my weakness.

I have been learning to live once again in a simple trust in the goodness  and unfailing love of my heavenly Father.   I have held on to passages of scripture that talk of trust.  Here are two of them.  “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God whose word I praise – in God I trust and am not afraid (Ps 56:3-4)  I literally get afraid at times.  It is in those moments that I cling to the Lord in trust.  “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go for to you I entrust my life (Ps 143:8).  When I get up in the morning I cling to the reality of God’s unfailing love.  I have to depend on the Lord to show me the way.

The image of an abyss has been very helpful for me.  If I let my mind go to all the fears, worries and uncertainties that I feel in my life, I find myself sinking into an inner abyss that get my focus off the Lord and on to me.  That is not good.  The focus needs to be the Lord and not Al and his problems.   I identify with the words of the Psalmist in Ps 40:1-2 when he says  “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit; out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand.”  My only solid place is in Jesus.

I can testify that I do find  firm place to stand.  But I must continually practice focusing on the Lord and trusting him.   So if you feel like me at times, being drawn into a abyss that has you focused only on you and your issues, I strongly urge you to take the step of simple child like trust and put your life circumstance into the hands of your heavenly Father.  His unfailing love will see you through.  That is what I am learning to do in new ways as I go through this season of my journey with Christ. Lord, give me grace and be merciful so that I can learn from this season of my life.

I have been thinking about Jesus’ words to us about not being orphaned.  “I will not leave you as orphans.  I will come to you.” (John 14:18).  What does it feel like to be an orphan?  We certainly get a visual example of being orphaned when we see all the refugees who are homeless from the wars that rage throughout the world.  It is difficult to image a child being orphaned in such a circumstance.  Do men ever feel orphaned?

While a man might not be physically orphaned, there are ways that men live their lives in “lonely isolation,”  feeling emotionally orphaned.  The sense of abandonment can be a very frightening reality that men have difficulty acknowledging.  This can happen when a man lives  a self-referenced, self-enclosed life. It is a life turned in on self.  One can live a very functional, productive life, but be alone on the inside.  Why?  Because we are meant for relationship.  That is, we are to live not just from our heads, but also from our hearts.  Men, we need to pay attention to our heart connections.

Jesus was abandoned at the end of  his life by all those around him.  He was all alone.  But listen to his words to us. “You will leave me all alone.  Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.” (John 16:32)  Earlier Jesus said, “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone…” (John 8:29).  Jesus whole ministry was that  of doing his Father’s will.  Because of his intimate connection with the Father, he was able to endure total rejection.

In Jesus’ example we find the key to not feeling orphaned.  It is in our relationship with our heavenly Father.  Men, I want to say with get emphasis, as if I were with you in a one- on-one conversation, that God loves you deeply.  He know all your thoughts and attitudes.  You can’t hide a thing from him.  Ps 139 expresses this so well.  David said, for example, “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.” (Ps 139:2).  He sees you in that dark, lonely corner of your heart.   He comes to you in love, wanting you to know that you can stand up and walk with him into the light of his healing presence.

Listen to how David experienced this darkness. “Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you” (Ps 139: 12).  Our heavenly Father waits for us to invite him into the darkness of our loneliness.  When I feel abandoned and alone, I simply cry out to my heavenly Father to come to me.  I open my heart as best I can, and ask for the light of his presence.  He comes to me in the person of his Son, who is the light of the world.  Through Jesus, I can come to the Father and know that I am safely home.

Throughout the history of the church one of the the approaches to understanding the  Song of Songs has been to view the book as a allegory of Jesus and his relationship to the believer and the church.  In Chapter 2:1 Jesus is called “lily of the valleys.”  As most of you know, Easter Lilies have a special place in the celebration of Easter.  I have memories of the altar filled with beautiful Easter Lilies.  I found this interesting piece on the history of Easter Lilies in Conversation magazine.  I thought I would share it with you men.

“The Easter season coincides with the beginning of spring, a time of renewal and new life.  Often called the “white-robed apostles of hope,”  lilies are said to have been found growing in the Garden of Gethsemane after Christ’s agony, wherever His tears had fallen. Before fully opening, lilies assume a trumpet shape.  The shape represents God the Father calling his Son Jesus home, which is a great source of joy for believers in Christ.  White lilies represent purity and freedom from sin through Jesus’ death on the Cross.”

Remember Jesus referred to lilies in wanting us to see that our heavenly Father will take care of our every need. “Look the lilies and how they grow.  They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.  And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here, today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.  Why do you have so little faith?” (Luke 12:27-28).

So men, here are two “take-aways” from the Easter Lilies you will all enjoy this Easter Season.  First, think of that lily you are looking at as a “trumpet.”   It is the reminder that the Father called his Son back home to heaven for our sake.  Jesus promised he would not leave us orphaned, because when he went to the Father, the Holy Spirit, the very presence of Jesus would be with us and in us.  “I will not leave you as orphans: I will come to you.  Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me.”  (John 14:18).

The second “take-away” is the care our heavenly Father has for each of us.  It is personal, intimate and loving.  He knows all our needs and will take care of them.  Listen to the way the Message puts it. “If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? (Luke 12:28).   Jesus reminds us in Luke 12:7, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

I am in the rehab portion of my recovering from hip replacement surgery.  I had a pastor tell me years ago, that when you are put in bed it is similar to going into God’s “school house”.  I sure have been experiencing the reality of being taught by God.  It is not what one would choose, but rather a circumstance in which God is wanting to get my attention.  I am sure that some of you have experienced this kind of schooling, or at least someone who is near and dear to you. I want to share a verse that has become one that I have been clinging to in my situation.  It is from Ps. 131:1-2.  “My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.  But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.”

There have been some rough nights for me.  I have had fear, uncertainty and many “what ifs” that have flooded my mind.  I have not slept well because my focus is on my problems and the future with an artificial hip.  I share this with the men who read this blog, as a kind of confession.  I thought it would be good for you to know that I still have my struggles as a follower of Jesus.

One night as  I was reading this passage, I simply pictured my heavenly Father carrying me in his arms.  I did what I could to calm and quiet myself like a weaned child before my Father.  I have kept that image now for several days.  I would literally pray a prayer something like this.  “Father, I come to you as your child. I give my whole circumstance to you.  It is in your care. I surrender it all to you.  Thank you, for watching over me.”  This imagery has helped me to come to rest in my circumstances.  As long as my focus is on my heavenly Father,  I stay “above water” as it were.  Just on the edges of consciousness, all the ‘what ifs” dwell.  But in simple childlike faith I keep my focus on Jesus

Men, I hope my immediate story of  having to cry out to God can be an encouragement to some one who is reading this blog.  There will be times when you feel overwhelmed in your situations.  Two vital things I have been learning these last couple days.  First, Al get your focus off yourself.  Worry will not help you.   Secondly, by faith and the trust that comes with that faith, literally cry out to Jesus for help.  Remember blind Bartimaeus, who was desperate for help.  He prayed “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” I hope my vulnerability with my rehab from hip surgery can be of some help to a man ready this blog.  I close with Paul’s word to the Philippians in 4:6-7 from the message.  These have really helped my keep my focus. “Don’t fret or worry.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.  It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

This monk up in the North Woods has been laid low.  Last Thursday (7th) I had a hip replacement on my left hip.  It was about time.  Now for the recover process.  So my blogs will be much shorter.  It takes me time to think through what I want to say.  I don’t want to slow down in getting something out each week.  For any man who reads this blog, I want you to know that I am committed this work.  I did not choose this avenue of ministry.  For me it is a calling.  As long as I know there are a few men out there who benefit from this blog, I will stay motivated.

Any way, this last week I was able to take in the election of the new Catholic Pope, Pope Francis.  I considered this to have been a special time for myself, as I entered into the life of the Catholic Church.  You, men must know that I am not Catholic with some concerns and questions about doctrine. Yet I have, however, tasted deeply of the spiritual life of the Catholic spiritual tradition.  I am not one of those evangelicals who completely “writes off” the Catholic Church.  We can learn from each other.  I think in the days to come we will need each other to combat the rapid rise of ” hostile secularism.”

As some of you may recall, I believe God is calling men to “fight the good fight of faith” in new ways.  I have said that we are to wage subversive warfare with the weapon of love and humility.  The Way of Jesus is a minority path, opposed in our cultural environment.  With that in mind here are four observations I have taken away regarding Pope Francis that relates to the subversive battle we are waging.   First, the pope is a sincere follower of Jesus.  He has already said that “Jesus in head of the church.  Second, this pope is a humble man.  He lived in a small apartment and took the bus to work. Thirdly, he is also a simple man.  He took the name “Francis” for Saint Francis of Assisi.  Fourthly, Pope Francis has a heart for the poor.   This is counter-cultural and subversive.   We will be hearing a lot more about this pope in the days to come.

Men, I just have to write a blog about this story I read this morning (4/4/13), reported by Reuters about the controversy regarding Finnish toilet paper.  My ancestry on both sides is Finnish, so when I read this story about Finnish toilet paper, I know that I would have do a blog. I warn you in advance, I am not neutral in this controversy.  Of course, some of what I have to say can be taken in jest.

It seems that a Finnish toilet paper maker, Metsa Tissue, removed quotes from the Bible, after protests from some Norwegian church leaders.  They only realized their mistake after they received feedback from quotes picked out from Facebook submissions.  In wanting to convey messages of love, the company accidentally included these words from Jesus: “For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.”  “People like to read small, happy messages while sitting on the toilet,” said a company spokesperson.  “The vast majority of the feedback has been positive.  Our intention was to spread love and joy, not religious messages.” Well, some Norwegian clergy did not like the idea.  They objected to the way scripture verses had been used. The Bishop of Tunsberg had this to say: “This is bad taste and shows lack of respect.  Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper”.

The company which regularly features witty quotes, poetry or  philosophical messages, said it would continue the product line but with more stringent vetting.  So the question becomes, “should scripture be found on toilet paper?” So here is my take on this controversy, as someone who is rather proud of his Finnish heritage.  I hope some of you Norwegians out there will side with me.  First, the whole idea is great.  What a great way to get a man’s attention. You have a captive audience.   A man sitting there, needs something to do.  Why not take a chance that a scripture reference would give him something positive to think about.  Who knows, some guy in Norway, Sweden, Denmark, or Finland could come out of the “john” thinking some positive thoughts about himself and the world he is going back to encounter.   It sure is worth a try.

My second thought has to do with asking “why the controversy?”  I just don’t get why a bishop in the Lutheran Church of Norway would be offended by a guy reading a scripture passage in the “john.”  This has nothing to do with “bad taste” or “lack of respect.”  The bishop should know that the Word of God might be offensive to a guy sitting in the “john.”   It has all to do with the Word of God being able to speak to another searching soul.  Of course, the bishop might be influenced by what a NY Times article  about religion in the Nordic countries called “benign indifference.”  Religion was more about being nice.  “Jesus was a nice man who taught some nice things.”  Well, bishop, I’m sorry, the way of Jesus is not about being only nice.  It is about conversion and change.  It confronts us with our sinful self. I have one more thought on this “gem” of a story.

I don’t think the Metsa Tissue company should back down.  I agree, “people like to read  small, happy messages while sitting on the toilet.”  There is no better way to spread a message of “love and joy” then to share a something about “the Good News” of Jesus and his kingdom.   So my encouragement to the folks in the land of my ancestors is to go for it.  Keep preaching the gospel through small pieces of toilet paper, that can reach a captive audience in the “john.”  Who knows, some lonely, searching man might see the light right there in the dark shadows of a “john” somewhere in Finland.

Recently I was reading the Exodus story in my devotions.  I came across this passage in Exodus 13:17, where God said this about his people. “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.”  I took those words to heart.  I thought of myself and the many men who want to make a difference in our increasing secular culture.  Would we today, change our minds and go back to Egypt, when we begin to face a more determined and intentional opposition?  God has called us to leave Egypt, that is, being enslaved to cultural norms that hinder our life with God.  The Israelites left the slavery of Egypt, but they still had a slave mentality.  It would be easy to go back to the familiar.

Like the Israelites, we will need to trust God to give us a new mind set. Just as Pharaoh hardened his heart and came after the people of God, beginning their journey in the wilderness, so there will a hardening of the opposition of those who are followers of Jesus in our day.  Like the Israelites, who found they had to face the army of Pharaoh, we will face formidable opposition.  They were  terrified by Pharaoh’s army.  They cried out, “Weren’t the cemeteries large enough in Egypt so that you had to take us out here in the wilderness to die?  What have you done to us, taking us out of Egypt?  Back in Egypt didn’t we tell you this would happen?  Didn’t we tell you, ‘Leave us alone here in Egypt – we’re better off as slaves in Egypt than as corpses in the wilderness” (Ex 14:11-12 – The Message).  Their fear had distorted reality.  In fact God had heard their cry for help and came to the rescue.  But they were blinded by their fear.

Men, don’t let the fear of opposition, which will come, blind you to the truth that God is leading you out of cultural slavery into freedom.  Don’t let yourself be drawn back into cultural captivity. What Moses had to say to the people should be words we all memorize for the coming days. “Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Ex. 14:13-14).  Why did they have only need to be still and let God win the battle by destroying Pharaoh’s whole army in the Red Sea?  Because God would be glorified, that is, recognized as God.  “”I’ll use Pharaoh and his entire army, his chariots and horsemen, to put my Glory on display so that the Egyptians will realize that I am God” (Ex 14: 18 – The Message).  May God be recognized through faithful men, talking a stand.

As I was preparing to write this blog I read on line an interview with Brother Andrew, the bible smuggler.  He knows first hand the persecution of Christians around the world.  He said of us in the West, “our problem is that if we have a little opposition we call it persecution.  That’s ridiculous.  Every Christian is tested; every Christian has and will have opposition.”  When he prays for the church, he prays, “not for God to remove persecution, but to use it to purify the church.”  Wow.  That puts some of our coming opposition into perspective.  It is not the same as persecution.  But it will begin to purify us.  I must warn you men.  When the opposition comes, you will have to examine our motives, life style and commitment.  Don’t turn and run back to Egypt.  Remember God is there with you.

I found it interesting that in one of those Super Bowl ads there was an ad that appealed to the bravery of men.  Remember the Audi ad, with the catchy phrase at the end, “Bravery; it is what defines you.”  Somehow we are supposed to be brave when we drive an Audi.  Pretty far fetched!  But the hook is the appeal to bravery.  Is there a stirring in the soul of American men to want to make a difference?  I hope so.  I have always believed – that the hope for renewal of our culture and society are godly men.  It’s time to “man up.”  It is God who strengthens the hearts of men to go forward on the journey, and not return to Egypt.

I am not a Luddite.  I have bought into some of the new communication devices.  But I am not as nearly hi-tech as the younger generation.  I don’t have a smart phone, I don’t text, I don’t even have an I-pad ( I do have an I-pod), and I don’t do real well with windows 8.  But I do wonder if we are losing  the ministry of presence.  Being created in the image of God, means we are wired for presence, that is, face to face, heart and soul communication.  David Benner observes, “Humans deeply desire presence…..we are vulnerable to absence.”  So the question is – do our relationships enhance presence or further absence?

Dr Sherry Turkle is author of  “Alone Together.”  As a professor of social studies and science and technology at MIT, she has studied the dynamic between technology and culture since the first computers hit the market.  She is respected as a forecaster of advances in communication, as well as how our relationships with machines alter our relationships with one another. “People want to be with each other and present with each other”, explains Dr Turkle, “but they also want to use technology to be elsewhere….We’re having fewer conversations, and more connection.  But connection and conversation are not the same thing.”  She predicts that we are becoming people who will choose artificial, digital or electronic relationships over real ones, because our relational skill will be so poor, that all we’ll want out of relationships will be empathy”.

Is it possible that we can use these new means of communication to hide who we really are?  In the practice of  texting, for example, are we becoming more superficial as we try to edit and control the image we present.  Turkle worries that we are setting ourselves up for loneliness and relational shallowness.  Are we losing our ability to have real face to face conversations?  Do we desire superficiality, so that we can have control over the impressions others form of us, while protecting  the edited image we construct of ourselves online.  I do a lot of spiritual direction, but I find it very difficult to do it over the phone.  There is just something about presence, that helps in my communication as well as being able to discern what is going on in the soul of another person.

I could be wrong, but I wonder if men are more vulnerable in the use of modern communications as a means of avoiding face to face interaction, while projecting the image of  “having it all together.”  We all have our “sphere of influence.”  I don’t know about you, but there have been times that I would rather flee from some relationships.  It has brought me to the place of humility and even brokenness, realizing how  badly I have navigated some very rough relationships.  The Letters of Paul are filled with exhortations to “hang in there” with others.  Those early churches were filled with wounded, hurting people , just like you and I.  He said, for example, ” Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.  Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.  And regardless of what else you put on, wear love.” (Col 3:13-14 – The Message).

Men, make good use of those devices of instant communication, but be on guard regarding to tendency to go and hide.  I especially want to issue a warning for any man reading this blog, who might be tempted to avoid  heart to heart conversation with his wife and  children.  You can become a slave to your gadgets, allowing them to rob you of precious time with your loved ones.  Be honest with yourself.  Are you avoiding or running from relationships.  In your home you set the tone.  I know when I was raising three children, while being a very busy urban pastor, I had to reach out for grace and strength from Jesus, to be at home and keep my “heart open” to my family. That took “the ministry of presence.”

Here are some words from Jesus to keep you and I humble and motivated to keep crying out from mercy and grace. “Let me give you a new command: Love one another.  In the same way I loved you, you love one another.  This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples – when they see the love you have for each other.” (John 13:34-35 – The Message)

“You are not your thoughts and emotion.”  When I first began to deal with that reality, I found that I was very resistant.  After all, my thoughts and emotions seem to be what is most personal about me.  Besides, I needed to be in control and  have some understanding of what is going on inside of me. But I didn’t want to move beyond my thoughts and emotions.  For years, I avoided being exposed to  my soul life.  I feared the “fire in the belly.”  Like many men I tried to avoid or even deny the fire.  But Proverbs 4:23 warns  against ignoring our inner life. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

There comes a time in a man’s life when he needs to take “the inward journey.” I would like to purpose that men think of themselves as being “soulful.”  Soulful men are truly alive and deeply human.  Why?  They are aware of their soul life.  In Genesis 2:7 we read, “Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.”  Or as some translations say, “a living soul.”  Soul is the most personal term we have to describe ourselves.  It refers to the totality of a person created in the image of God. It speaks to depth, wholeness and inwardness.  We don’t just have a soul, we are a soul.  We are embodied souls.  Our soul life, that fire in the belly, greatly influence our life.  So we need to aware of the fire and befriend its presence.

I believe the forces in our culture  promote a superficial life of personal peace and freedom, staying on the surface of life.  The dominant media and the spread of all the communications devices in our culture, keep us all in our heads, manipulating us intellectually and emotionally.   How will our  lives  be formed in this kind of spiritual wasteland.  Men are going to have to do their “inner” soul work as never before.  If not they will loss their true identity in Christ and drift in a kind of spiritual desert, searching for meaning and purpose in all the wrong places.  All our “spiritual improvement projects” will be in vain, if we don’t know ourselves as God knows us.

So my encouragement to men is to “listen” to their souls. Paul tells us that “your life is now hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:4).   Augustine expressed a vital truth when he said “Let me know thee, O God, let me know myself, that is all.”  While Spirit takes us up and out in our relationship with God, soul takes us down and into the reality of our every day life.  The soul thrives on what is real; the truth of our everyday experience.  Again, men that means to good, bad and ugly.  To not pay attention to  our soul, that is, the truth about who we are, is to live with an illusion.  The more we live with illusion the more we live a lie, knowing less of who we really are.

The soul call us to face reality. My great burden in this post is to help each man see that the inner journey into the life of our soul is both necessary and freeing.  You are much more then your thoughts and emotions.   At one point in my journey I was both frightened and theologically unsure of getting in touch with my soul life. You might think what I am about to suggest is simplistic.  But in a nutshell this is what I have learned.  1) I know God loves me in my stink; he is already there loving me.  2) Jesus goes with me on my journey into my soul life; he takes me by the hand so I can learn from him what is actually  there  3) Nothing surprises him; it was always there  4) The inner light of his presence overcomes all my darkness; it helps when I am fearful and unsure  5) He give me the grace to hang in there; I can’t run away from who I am – this is reality   6) I need brothers to help me be truthful; I am good at lying to myself  7) Best of all, there is freedom, authenticity and joy as a result of the journey.  I become more of who I was meant to be.