In the soul of many men is a “willed aloneness” in which men feel separated from God, from others, and from even themselves. Men can get wrapped up in their “self-referencing self” – drifting through life like an orphan… alone, abandoned, and afraid.  A quiet despair reveals men who feel fatherless, lost in the rush and complexity of modern life where relationships are sacrificed on the altar of self-importance, success, and efficiency.  The story of a three-year-old boy crying in his bedroom on a cold, stormy night reflects this sense of abandonment:  “Daddy,” the boy cried, “talk to me!  I’m afraid because it’s so dark.”  His father answers him from another room: “What good would that do? You can’t see me.”  “That doesn’t matter, Daddy,” replies the child. “When you talk, it gets light.”  Like this child, men who live self-enclosed lives long for the reassurance of God’s presence. Lonely men need to be fathered by their heavenly Father.

Jesus had one mission in his work on earth: to do the will of his Father. A part of that work was to bring us back to our Father. He said, “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does” (John 5:19).  Jesus’ intention was to please his Father. “By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgement is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me” (John 5:30).

Jesus promised not to leave us orphaned: “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you” (John 14:18).  He said He is the way.  “No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).  Men, if we keep our focus on Jesus, committed and surrendered to Him, He will lead us back to our heavenly Father. We can stand in the presence of our Father without condemnation, with Jesus as our mediator.  Paul reminds us, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1).  So as we read in Hebrews 4:16, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

In his high priestly prayer from John 17, Jesus prays to His Father: “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world” (v. 6). “I pray for them,” states Jesus.  “I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours” (v. 9).  These words should assure us that Jesus is attentive to our sense of abandonment.  At the end of this prayer Jesus makes a most profound promise that should be a bedrock conviction for all followers of Jesus. “I have made you known to them and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them” (v. 26).

Men, take verse 26 to heart. Jesus promises to make the Father known to us. There is no need to feel orphaned and fatherless. Even more inspiring is Jesus’ assurance that the very love the Father had for him might be in us along with the very presence of Jesus.  So again I say, keep your focus on Jesus.  He will bring you back to the Father and His Father’s love for you.  Let yourself be “fathered by God.”

Recently Judy and I hosted a “wildman Saturday.”  This group has been meeting for over seven years.  It has caused me to often ask the Lord, “What do you want to do among these men?”  Within the last year I began to wonder if the group should disband.  But in the last few times, there has been a new stirring of the Spirit.   I wonder, is there a “new stirring” occurring among committed men in our culture, hidden from public awareness, but becoming a leaven for renewal, where men are planted in their communities and churches. A good watch word for these men would be I Cor 16:13-14, “Be on guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.  Do everything in love.”

I want to share some of these “wonderings” in this blog.  First, and foremost, experiencing the love of God.  I John 4:19 tells us, “We love because He first loved us” (4:19).  This is what God does within us.  He loves us that we might love Him, through the love he has for us.  Nothing is more important than for men to be secure at the center, knowing they are love for who they are; men who have been  fathered by God. Secondly, having a contemplative posture before God.  Men are desiring to know the abiding presence of the Lord in a “dry and thirsty land.”  It is reassuring to know of other men who have a hunger and passion to know God beyond “God talk.”  “Soul talk” is prominent among these men.   Thirdly, men are sharing with vulnerability their stories of faith, the good, the bad and the ugly, among themselves.  Hearing the honest stories of other brothers, helps in learning to articulate “the Good News” over and against the dominant cultural narrative.

Fourthly, men are gathering to share  their experiences of living in “occupied territory.”   They don’t want to talk about ideas or programs. They want to know how other men are doing on the battle field.  Much of the sharing comes from “wounded  warriors.”  How do we, “Fight the good fight of faith” ( I Tim. 6:12) in a foreign land? The Fifth wondering has to do with discernment.  Men feel alone and isolated on the journey.  The blare of opinions, along with empty promises for the future, cause men to wonder if they should simply go into “coast” rather than stand for the right.  There is a deep need for discernment regarding the moral and spiritual condition of our culture viewed through the lens of the presence of God’s kingdom in our midst.

I wonder if God is not raising up “watchmen” in strategic locations all across our land.  These are men who feel a deep stirring in their souls that our culture is coming under judgment. These men need to be encouraged that God is speaking to their hearts. “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak, and give them warning from me” (Ezk. 33:7).  God is placing men on the walls of the culture, to give warning to the church.  He is raising men up in the spirit of Elijah.  “And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous – to make ready a people prepared for the Lord” (Luke 1:16).  “Blow the trumpet in Zion; sound the alarm on my holy hill” (Joel 2:1).  A watchmen warns of a coming danger.  Are we already seeing the signs of God’s judgement?

Could the church in America be entering a period of “cultural exile”?  Church historian, Carl Trueman of Westminster Seminary thinks so. “The strident rhetoric of scientism has made belief in the supernatural look ridiculous.  The Pill, no-fault divorce, and now gay marriage have made traditional sexual ethics look outmoded at best and hateful at worst.  The Western public square is no longer a place where Christians feel they belong with any degree of comfort…It’s an exile to cultural irrelevance.”  Charles Chaput, Archbishop of Philadelphia, has observed, “People who uphold  a traditional moral architecture for sexuality, marriage, and family have gone, in the space of just the twenty years, from mainstream conviction to the equivalent of racist and bigots.”  A coup has taken place, and in the words of  the archbishop, “the secular team won, the religious  team lost.”  Are we becoming a church is exile?

What do you men think?  I for one, lean towards the idea of the church communities becoming, “creative minorities” intentionally wanting to be a light in the midst of growing darkness.  Jesus tells us as his followers “You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world.  God is not a secret to be kept.  We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill…..Keep open house, be generous with your lives.  By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, the generous Father in heaven.” (Matt 5:14 & 16 – Message).  As  a cultural darkness descend on us, we have the wonderful opportunity as “the church in exile” to be a bright light.  While we may lament the condition of our nation, we should be praying the prayer of Habakkuk, “Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord.  Renew them in our day, in our time make the known; in wrath remember mercy.” (Hab 3:2)

Could it be that we need to embrace the gift of being exiles, “now that Christendom – the forms and structures of a Christianly-orientated culture” in the words of Mark Labberton, president of Fuller Seminary, “has fallen away.”  Could the words of former Cardinal Ratzinger apply to America as they do to Europe. “Christian believers should look upon themselves as just such a creative minority….”   Is there the possibility of exile, that is, living in a alien culture. What would that mean for men.  Here are a few of my wonderings.

First, as men we need to evaluate our walk with the Lord.  Are we under the Lordship of Jesus, being committed to the authority of God’s word.  The sovereignty of  the Lordship of Jesus and the issue of truth will be contested in the days to come.  Are you ready to be challenged as never before for being “a committed follower of Jesus” in a strange land.  Secondly, by all means, find another man or a group of men who can help you discern the signs of the times.  I know I need that from my post here in the woods.  What is God saying to the church in your community. Thirdly, become sensitive  to the wounded warriors and fallen brothers in your community.  There is going to be causalities from the spiritual warfare in the days to come.  Lovingly come along side these brothers.  Fourthly, get your priorities straight.  Give your best energy to the “first things” in your life.  After Jesus, be the priest in your family, and a faithful servant in your sphere of influence.

I like the greeting St John of the Cross, a 16th century saint, used in writing letters of spiritual counsel – “Jesus be with your soul.”  It’s a great reminder for men. St John is know mostly for his description of the “Dark Night of the Soul.” Gerald May maintains that, “The heart of the dark night is that of a love affair between God and the human soul, in which God takes the initiative and we respond.”  God is at work in the dark times.  Men, there are going to be times when it seems like  “the lights have gone out.”  This is normal.  The ultimate expression of the dark night is Jesus’ experience of being forsaken by his Father, as he cried “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me” (Matt 27:4).  Let the darkness lead you to a greater trust in Jesus, who is in your soul.

Jesus, the light,  remains in you, beyond the darkness.   David prayed, “Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is a light to you” (Ps 139: 12).  John reminds us, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5). At the deepest center of our being Jesus resides. St. John uses phrases such as, “the intimate substance of the depths of the soul,” and “the infinite center,”  to convey the reality of intimacy at the center.  Jesus asleep on a pillow (Mark  4:38) while the disciples fear they are drowning, helps us grasp the truth that in the darkest times we can rest in the peace of the Lord.  Remember, no matter what you are going through, Jesus is present at the center.

The greeting is a reminder of the Lord’s abiding presence in our souls.  The default perception for many men is that Christ is on the outside, at the circumference of life, someone to be observed and thought about, rather than known intimately at the center.  Paul reminds us, “Do you not realize that Christ is in you?” ( II Cor. 13:5)  The Holy Spirit makes Jesus’ presence real.  “This is how we know that we live in him and he in us.  He has given us of his Spirit” (I John 4:13).  Paul prays in this regard for us,  “I pray that out  of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in our inner being, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith” (Eph 3:16-17).  Don’t try to figure it out.  Learn to live the mystery, “……this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Col 1:27).

So remember Jesus in your soul,  beyond your shame, fear, anger and guilt.  I close with a quote from Thomas Merton, which I could not grasp for sometime.  Now I can testify to the truth of what he is saying.  “There is only one problem on which all my existence, my peace, and my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God.  If I find Him I will find myself and if I find my true self I will find Him.”  Men, I implore you not to run from the life of your soul.  I was on the run for many years. Jesus meets you in the realities of your life at the center, not at the edges .  In the good, bad and ugly, Jesus remains as the light, not out there  but within.  Allow yourself to receive the healing Word of God.

In this post I want to write about a remarkable man: Ernie Malmskog.  Ernie died on January 16th.  I attended his funeral at the church where I came to know Ernie, when I served as interim pastor a couple of years ago.  Ernie was 97 years old when he died.  Ernie was a spiritual giant in my eyes,  because when I knew Ernie I was already 70 years old, but around Ernie I felt like a spiritual son.  I sat at Ernie’s feet, like 20 or so other men every Wed morning at Bethany Lutheran Church in Nevis, Mn.  Ernie had lead that group of men for many years.  They came faithfully to hear Ernie, “break the bread of life” as Ernie used to say, to feed our hunger souls with the Word of God.  Ernie was a student of the Bible.  It was fleshed out in his life.  His manner of teaching breathed life into our souls.  He had lived it for over 90 years.  Here are a few impressions.

Ernie prompted the Father Hunger need in my male soul, even though I was in my 70’s and had mentored many men.  Father Hunger in a man’s soul is nourished by the embrace of the loving, unconditional acceptance of a father figure.  Ernie was that for me.  I asked for a hug every Wed.  I went to see Ernie to just share what was on my heart.  I was looking for both correction and affirmation from a godly, gentle, patriarch of the Church.  In Ernie’s presence I absorbed a godly “masculine energy” that made me more spiritually alive as a man.  I encourage every man reading this blog, to be on the look out for a man like Ernie. When you find that man, hang out with him and absorb “the masculine energy.”

Ernie was himself.  He was humble, plain spoken man, who had learned through the hard knocks of life.  His whole life as a godly narrative was on display each week.  His foundations in Jesus and the Scripture were firm.  He had thought through the issues of life in prayer and study.  It was a joy for me to observe how he handed  the questions, doubts, angers, and concerns of the men  he led.  He was respectful, caring, and open.  He always brought it back to Jesus and the Word. What an amazing layman. Even the pastors showed deference to Ernie’s leadership.

Ernie was devoted to his wife Harriet for 69 years.  She had proceeded him in death.  Men listened to Ernie and the women of the church honored and deeply respected Ernie, because of how he treated his bride.  It was was a wonder to behold.  Men, I telling you, what Ernie taught on Wednesday, was played out each week when those two came to church.  Early on in my ministry as Lutheran Pastor, I realized that my most important ministry  to the women was the way I respected and honored my wife in public.  Men, the women in your church are watching how you treat your life.  Ernie in his 90’s was an example for me.

One more impression.  Ernie honored and respect the pastors that had been at Bethany.  He might not always agree, but he was supportive, always encouraging to those in leadership. As the church struggled over its direction, with strong opinions on both sides, Ernie was a steady, balanced voice that allowed men to come to their own conclusions without being judged.  It was a rare gift on display on many Wednesday mornings.  I am very thankful that God brought Ernie Malmskog into my life for a short one and a half years.

“I love it here.  We plan on living here the rest of our lives.”  These were the sentiments of  Green Bay Packer coach Mike McCarthy, regarding Green Bay.  I am a UPer, having grown up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, three hours north of Green Bay.  My roots go deep into the northwoods lifestyle.   I am a Viking fan, but also a “closet” Packer fan, especially when they are winning and the Vikings are losing.  I cried as I read the article about coach McCarthy, I suppose partly because of my roots.  I share this with you, because there are times when I am deeply touched by the narrative of a man’s life.  The coach might not be a follower of Jesus, but the depiction of his character and lifestyle spoke to my heart.  Why?

The evidence of the coach’s humility.  “The NFL is not a place for the humble, but here Mike McCarthy sits, in a back room at Lambeau Field, perfectly content with being the least-talked-about coach in this weekend’s conference championship games.”  (The Packers lost a heart breaker to Seattle).   Humility in a man shows he is content in his “own skin,” not needing to impress.  The focus is on others.   In the coach’s case, it is his players. “….making his players better is what makes him special.” Jesus put a premium on humility when he said, “For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will exalted” (Luke 14:11).  A humble man of God points others towards Jesus and the life he offers.

The sense of simplicity and ordinariness about the coach.  Those are rare qualities for a NFL coach. In hiring McCarthy, the packers, “liked that his ego was small, his football knowledge was vast and he came from a place that in many ways was similar to Green Bay.”  The article goes on to say that, “he loves the simplicity of Green Bay, that the two things the town holds dearest are also what he cares about most: family and football…..He’s the kind of guy you’d see getting a beer at the VFW, brilliantly ordinary. Perfect for Green Bay.”   Men, God does his lasting work in the ordinariness of our daily lives, not when the spotlight is on us.  This is especially true with your presence in your family.  We can make following Jesus too complicated and heroic.  It begins in the ordinariness of life, like putting our kids to bed at night. Paul said of himself, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Phil 4:11).

The coach is “solid” guy  with a sense of place.  “Words that depict McCarthy, such as “solid,” tough” and “dependable” are generally used in pickup truck commercials.” He is at home in Green Bay.  The people who make up the area are much like the coach.  “When he got the job, he made a point to put incentives in players’ contracts that would reward them for staying in town for off season workouts.”  In the days to come I want to be around men who are “solid” in character, with a sense of place. There is no pretense, just committed men, who want to make a difference right where they are planted.  Men, Jesus has planted you and your family where you live for a purpose; to be witnesses of the present reality of the kingdom of God.

I just had to write a post about the controversy surrounding the possibility of the New England Patriots being guilty of using deflating footballs in their win over the Seattle Seahawks  in the AFC championship game.  The readers of this blog know that I am a Viking fan. I try hard to keep it all in perspective, seeing  it as a diversion, rather then a preoccupation.  Besides, being somewhat conversant with Pro Football, gives me entrance into the lives of men.

But it seems that Pro football has invaded the male subculture to such a degree that some men find it to be their passion in life, becoming almost adolescent in their preoccupation, while neglecting adult responsibilities.  When Judy and I travel I listen to sports talk radio.  The sense of urgency expressed regarding sports reminds me of adolescent boys, being preoccupied with minor issues, while their real lives are put on hold till a later date. Men, sports can be a wonderful diversion, but it cannot become a major focus on our time and energy.  A large sector of the American Male culture needs to grow up  spiritually and emotionally.

I would like to offer a parody on the word “deflate” as it relates to the condition of a man’s soul.  First, God will allow a man to be “deflated.”  Men, you will have the wind knocked out of  you, bringing you to your knees. I know this from personal experience.  God used “church people” to knock a lot of “false spiritual air” out of my soul.  A biblical word for deflate would be “crucify.”  We read in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.”  It is when that “old false religious self” dies that Christ enters and brings life.  Deflation first, then comes resurrection.  Have you been deflated?

Secondly, to be deflated is to be emptied.  This is good for our spiritual life, but very hard on the ego. The ego does not want to be diminished.  Our ego works full time filling us with false images of a religious self.  As we are emptied of  self, we will become thirsty and hungry for God.  Pay attention to your longing.   The Psalmist cried out, “My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God” (Ps 84:2).   Thirdly, only God can satisfy the deepest needs of the male soul.  When we get emptied, God comes to fill us with his life.  Paul prayed that we might come “to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Eph 3:19). Jesus tells us, “Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty” (John 6:35).  So, men, accept being “deflated” as a part of your journey.

Here something more on the parody.   Remember the press conference when the coach had to give his take on the deflated football.  Well, in the background in bold letters were the words “flexball.”  That’s what God is after in our life; flexibility of heart and soul.   He wants us deflated and  emptied so that He can fill us with his Holy Spirit, who will continually be making us into who were meant to be.  “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws” (Ezk. 36:26-27).

In this post I am going to tip my theological hat.  I was motivated by the latest issue of “Christianity Today,” a magazine to which I have subscribed since the early 60’s.  I was encouraged by the commitment of CT to what  they call, “a Beautiful Orthodoxy.”  Since the days of my conversion in 1960, I have  been a “Jesus Man” and a “Man of the Book.”  However, I have had to do a lot of theological growing and stretching.  By the mercy and grace of God  at this stage of my journey, I can be a fairly open minded guy who has a strong theological center.  I have always felt at home in the “evangelical” camp, but lament that some want to define the camp too narrowly.  Having been a life long Lutheran, I have tasted the good wine of the charismatic movement and enjoyed the rich fruit of the classic spiritual tradition of the catholic tradition.  I can’t go back into a narrow “church box.”

I am motivated in this blog site to share “a Beautiful Orthodoxy,” an orthodoxy that desires to reflect the beauty of the Lord, confessing the Lordship of Jesus over all of creation and the truth claims of Scripture as the compass for godly living.  I firmly believe that the next generation is ready to receive an orthodoxy that is loving, winsome and welcoming; not judgmental, critical and  rancorous.  A Beautiful Orthodoxy is being both told and lived out in the most unassuming parts of the church today.  I fit into this camp.  I take my motivation from the words of Ps. 71:18, “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.”  Men, that is why I write this blog.

Therefore, I identify with what CT had to say in its editorial comments.  “Only relatively recently has it seemed that to be winsome and loving, one must downplay truth claims.  Or that, to speak the truth in a pluralistic world, one must pick a rhetorical battle…..we aim to ensure that every ‘no!’ we imply is followed by a ‘yes!’  That as we name wrong thinking or behavior we also heartily affirm the abundant life in our true and beautiful Savior.”  Carl F. H Henry, the founding editor of CT is quoted as saying, “The evangelical task is the preaching of the gospel, in the interest of individual regeneration by the supernatural grace of God, in such a way that divine redemption can be recognized as the best solution of our problems, individual and social.”  I say amen.

So men I encourage you to embrace a beautiful orthodoxy.  How?  These are a few things I have learned over the years.  First, surrender to the love of God.  Open your soul to the beauty of God’s love for you, not grasping but welcoming.  Secondly, forsake all your self-improvement projects for making yourself spiritual, by humbly admitting your total dependence on God to change you.  Our effort only reinforces the false “religious self.”  Thirdly, let the healing word of God penetrate your soul, giving you a new vision of God, yourself and the world.  Fourthly, commit yourself to be a humble, loving follower of Jesus, one of those “tough and tender” types, who has strong convictions but also  an vulnerable hearts. Fifthly, run from the religious, Pharisaical spirit, which is so common among “church people.”

In his book, “The Abolition of Man,” C.S. Lewis was prophetic in pointing out that relativism – the idea that there are no absolute truths – would lead to the decay of morality and a lack of virtue within society.  Without a belief in universal moral laws, we fail to educate the heart and are left with intelligent men who end up behaving like animals or as Lewis puts it, “men without chests.”  He likened an ordered soul to that of  the human body: the head (reason) must rule the belly (the sensual appetites) through the chest.  Since the chest is made up of “emotions organized by trained habits into stable sentiments,” it is the bridge between the man ruled by reason and the passionate man, ruled by his appetites.

A culture with men without chests is a frightening prospect.  They are incapable of displaying such virtues as courage, honor, honesty and valor.  Lewis observes, “In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function.  We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise.  We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.  We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.”  The lack of inner conviction and  godly passion, without a submission to the Lordship of Christ, will produce men with no chests.  They are “empty shirts.”

Men, we live in a day when the social commentary on the troubles of our culture will continue to be debated endlessly.  Everyone has their expert opinion on specific issues, always with the motive of winning more adherents to their position.  But every once in awhile someone is heard during all the debate, bringing light and clarity, born in a heart filled with passion for Christ.  They speak with conviction; firm, yet respectful, honoring other opinions, but allowing the light of gospel to shine forth.  Such a person is Franklin Graham, the son of Billy Graham, and CEO of Samaritan’s purse.  Now you might not agree with all he has to say, but you have to admire his clear, resolute conviction about America and the need for revival.

I believe God is raising up a whole new generation of men who have chests.  They are the “tough and tender” types, who walk humbly and lovingly, yet with strong inner convictions, speaking confidently the truth of the gospel in the midst of much confusion.  They are men of virtue and honor who have won the right to speak truth by their example.  God is reassuring these men of valor, as he did the prophet Jeremiah, “Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land” (Jer. 1:18)

How do men ignite the passion to be live a virtuous life; to have a chest. We can’t produce the passion.  It  is given by Spirit of God invading our souls.  John, the baptist said Jesus would, “baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire”  (Matt.3:11).  My testimony after years of  inconsistency in living with passion is this simple truth.  I had to surrender first  to the love of God.  Receiving God’ s love in all my vulnerability and shame, brought motivation to serve God .  In surrender a man empties himself, so that God might invade the depths of the soul.  From that deep center comes a passion and energy to live a virtuous life.  It is all gift, to be received.  Passion for God can never be self-induced.

Do you as a man have deep personal spiritual friendships with other men?  As I observe the next generation of men seeking to follow Jesus, I am heartened by the deep commitments men are making to stand together in what some are calling an “alien” culture. There are strong “band of brothers” forming all over this nation, meeting in small committed groups to encourage one another.  Cultural observers could accuse these groups with practicing  “Bromance.”  This is  a new  term in  our  gender confused  culture.

Stephen Marche  writing in “Esquire” maintains that the word “bro” shows an “underlying contempt for the male friendship it implies.”  Bros in his opinion are “men who get together to be idiots with one another, drink, watch sports and grunt, but never get involved in each other’s lives.”  So dominant is the preference for being machismo over that of having deep male friendships, that when two “bros” get a little too chose, popular culture has a new, sexually-charged  term for their relationship: “bromance.”  Wikipedia defines bromance as “a close non-romantic relationship between two men.”  So how do we define our committed relationships as Christian men?  Are our male friendship more then machismo and beyond bromance?  Does the love of Jesus in our hearts for other committed  brothers take us beyond bromance?  I certainly hope  so.

We read in Psalms 133: 1-2, “How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony!  For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that poured over Aaron’s head…”  These verses speak to the beauty and strength of deeply committed relationships between brothers.  Brotherly harmony, like the anointing oil, shows that we are dedicated to serving God wholeheartedly together.  Men, don’t let the culture define your commitment to other brothers in Christ.  Remember  we live in enemy territory.  We need help  to stand and be protected  in our day.  “By yourself you’re unprotected.  With a friend you can face the worst.  Can you round up a third?  A three-stranded rope isn’t easy snapped” (Eccl. 4:12 – Message).

At my age I am able to take a rather long, reflective view on my spiritual journey.  One of the regrets I have is not making and then keeping deep friendships with other men I have known over the years.  I envy the tight relationships my son, Kurt has made with some of his male friends.  I am now thankful for the men who have made the deliberate attempt to keep connected with me (Bill, for example).  So men I encourage you to seek out and cultivate deep, lasting male friendships in Christ.

Here are a few of the mistakes I made over the years.  First, I kept my hurt and pain to myself.  I was protecting my heart by putting on a emotional armor that was hard to penetrate.  Secondly, I didn’t take time to cultivate close male friendships.  Thirdly, I didn’t realize the strength that comes through such relationships.  Fourthly, and most important, I could not receive the  love other men wanted to show me.  When I finally came to the realization that there were a group of guys that loved me the way I was, it changed my life.  I mean that literally.  I was over 50 years of age at the time.  Men, don’t waiting that long.  Move beyond being “bros” to that of a “band of brothers,” willing to fight  for the hearts  of  your  brothers.  We alert and  attentive  to  the  “wounded warrior.”