Category: Wildman Journey (Page 2 of 85)

Anthony Bradley in a candid article, ends with this challenge.  “I’d recommend that people stop whining  about ‘Andrew Tate’ and instead, out-complete him and others with better content that fits with their view of world if they think the manosphere is a problem.”  As a member of “the silent generation” and a retired senior male, but still writing bogs about masculinity in our culture, I can only express my comments as a concerned senior.  But I can speak as a male who has been on an intentional masculine journey, having sought spiritual wholeness in following Jesus.

Bradley is writing about the “manosphere” and the young men who are gravitating to their messaging.  He notes, “this digital migration reveals less about the seductive power of online characters and more about the profound dereliction of duty by the very cultural and religious institutions designed to forge masculine virtue. What happens when the wellsprings of genuine guidance run dry, and who precisely rushes in to fill the void?”  

Gleaning result from a survey of over 3,000 young men (16-25) across the UK, US, and Australia, he found 61% of young men in the UK regularly engaged with masculinity influencers online.  The influencers were most popular among white, older (within the 16-25 range) full-time employed, university-educated young men from high-income households.  83% believe men must be providers, 70% believe women have it easier than men, while 67% believe feminism is used to keep men down.  50% found the content to be entertaining, 47% motivating, and 43% as thought-provoking.   

Young men are seeking guidance online in dealing with modern masculinity.  There  seems to be a “siren song of confident, powerful men promising direction to legions of younger men adrift in a sea of cultural confusion.”  Young men gravitate toward the loudest and seemingly most self-assured voices, expounding stoicism, self-reliance and control. “These online figures often offer pathways emphasizing action, reclaiming power, or adhering to specific codes, bypassing the often messy and difficult work of risk-taking, repentance, vulnerability, relational healing, and enlisting in the work of fighting evil.”  

What young men need, Bradley maintains is encouragement, “which involves viewing them not as problems needing solutions, but as sources of potential value to those around them.”  A vacuum of virtuous, masculine leadership is found in the church.  What is needed includes, “the rare combination of intellectual rigor, deep compassion, unwavering conviction, and the proper confidence of a man submitted first to God – a model of virtuous masculinity equipped to truly mentor the next generation.” 

“The choice confronting us is stark,” according to Bradley, “Either we undertake the demanding work of cultivating environments where authentic, virtuous masculine leadership can actually flourish……..or we resign ourselves to watching successive generations of young men seek affirmation and direction from the distorted reflections offered by digital hucksters and failed archetypes.  The consequences of continued apathy are not merely cultural, but profoundly spiritual, bearing witness to our own institutional failure.”

Bradley has given the church a warning about the siren call of the male influencers on the internet.  There is a void in our culture that the influencers are filling among young men.  We as a church have not been able to fill that void with our messaging of the “Good News.” I agree that spiritual formation of young men in our day will involve risk-taking that will be “messy and difficult.”  Are men’s groups open to such call.  Young men need the encouragement of older men, who are mentors, having grown up in the hostile culture where men are considered toxic.  Bradley warns us of our “apathy” and our failure to fill the vacuum in the lives of younger men.

The Mainstream media, today is filled with commentary and predictions on the direction of our nation.  We continually hear from those on the right and those on the left.  “The new vibe” has the observers wondering about what the shifting sands of social, political and economic trends mean for our life together.  Whose narrative will shape our cultural imagination.

But I keep wondering about our foundations.  Will they last?  Jesus’ words regarding the wise and foolish builders are a warning.  “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.  Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.” (Matt. 7:24-5).  Of course, a house built on sand will collapse.

Carl Trueman counsels, to being cautious with the moral significance of the new vibe.  “Our morality is not the function of a vibe.  Our truths are not the expression of cultural taste.  We must heed Paul’s call to meditate upon things that are above.  These heavenly realities are as true today as they were when President Biden was in charge or, indeed when Charlemagne was crowned Holy Roman Emperor.  Only then can we act with discernment and with Christian fortitude wisdom and love in the context God has placed us.”

Before becoming Pope, Karol Cardinal Wojtyla, gave a warning to American bishops in 1976. “We are now standing in the face of the greatest historical confrontation humanity has ever experienced. I do not think that the wide circle of the American society…..realizes this fully.  We are now facing the final confrontation between the Church and the anti-Church, between the Gospel and the anti-Gospel, between Christ and the Antichrist.”  Joseph Ratzinger, who later became Pope Benedict noted, “The face of God is noticeably disappearing.  ‘The death of God’ is a very real process, which today extends deep into the interior of the Church.  God is dying in Christendom, so it seems.”  

In our public discourse, little attention is given to the moral and spiritual foundations of our nation.  The prophet Isaiah warned the people of Israel, who were acting “with pride and arrogance of heart” (Is 9:9).  They were disregarding God’s warning.  “Things aren’t that bad,  We can handle anything that comes.  If our buildings are knocked down, we’ll rebuild them bigger and finer.  If our forests are cut down, we’ll replant them with finer trees” (Is. 9:10  Message).  

We must be careful not to believe as the Israelites.  “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth.” (Deut 8:17).  God reminded them, “But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth.” (Deut 8:18). “It is not because of your righteousness or your integrity that you are going in to take possession of their land: but on account of the wickedness of these nations.” (Deut 9:5).

Isaiah later warned Israel’s leaders not to  hide their plans from God. “Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the Lord. who do their work in darkness and think, ‘Who sees us? Who will know?'” (Is. 29: 15).  In the process they were turning thing upside down.  “You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!  Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘He did not make me’? Can the pot say of the potter, ‘He knows nothing’?” (Is. 29:15b-16).

I wonder if the dominant narrative has it wrong?  Have we turned things upside down.  Men, we are not in charge.  We are clay and  the Lord is the potter.

Mark Bauerlein at First Things had a short book review of French author Pascal Bruckner’s recent book entitled “The triumph of the slippers: on the withdrawal from the world.” The phrase, “The triumph of the slippers,” caught my eye.   I knew I had to do a blog using this phrase as a springboard, challenging men to stay in the fight.  This is not a time for Christian men to fade away into a lifestyle of personal peace and comfort.  The awareness of being in a fight, should energize us to get out of our slippers.  May we say with Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (II Tim. 4:7).  We can identify with Ps. 149:6. “May the praise of God be in their mouths and a double-edged sword in their hands.”

Bruckner contends, “the triumph of fear and the paradoxical enjoyment of a fettered life” is the result of the Covid pandemic lockdown.  Covid, along with 9/11, climate alarm, and the Ukraine conflict, encouraged retreat from the public square and (non-Digal) social life.” Bruckner is concerned with the closing of minds and spaces.  We no longer seek and aspire, imagine and invent.  We rather survive.  Living in the past with closed doors was viewed as an impoverishment.  Now it seems to give safety and leisure.  This is especially true when we are diverted with screens. 

According to Bruckner, “We have entered a sterile era, a time of weakened eros and banal experience.”  If we don’t have a widespread recovery of active public involvement, despair and dissipation will only continue.  The forces of defeat are strong, as are the temptations on the screen.”  Bruckner’s advice: “Accept risk, avoid dependency, be with others (friends and strangers).”  In short, “get out of your slippers.”    

I thought of Psalm 112:7, which I read recently in my devotions. “They will have no fear of bad news: their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.”  In Psalm 34, David while pretending to be insane in front of Abimelech speaks about not being afraid.  “I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.  Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles.  For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him.” (Ps. 34:4-6).

Jesus warns of the world’s respond to His followers. “If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me.  If you lived on the world’s terms, the world would love you as one of its own.  But since I picked you to live on God’s terms and no longer on the world’s terms, the world is going to hate you” (John 15:18-19 MGS).  If we accept “God’s terms” as our blueprint for living in our contemporary culture, we will be hated for not embracing the “world’s terms.”  We will need to surrender wanting only to survive, while playing it safe with a focus on leisure and personal peace.

Jesus tells us, “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.  Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” (Matt 10:16).  “We are not to be sheeplike in our attitude but sensible and prudent.  We are not to be gullible pawns, but neither are we to be deceitful connivers. We must find a balance between wisdom and vulnerability to accomplish God’s work” (NLT application Bible). In other words, we need to be tough-minded and tender-hearted.

Gates Garcia contends that masculinity has been hijacked.  He believes, “The left’s successful rebranding of masculinity as ‘toxic’ didn’t just rewrite a dictionary entry – it rewired the cultural DNA that once produced great men.”  That statement struck a chord with me.  When the word “toxic” was first used to describe men, I was already doing blogs for men.  I vividly remember my initial response.  I rejected the term outright but could not easily form any constructive responses because I would often think of descriptions that were now considered negative by the cultural influencers. The light came on for me when Garcia talked about “a linguistic jujitsu.“

What does he mean?  His answer: “Why did ‘toxic masculinity’ stick?  Because it performed a linguistic jujitsu: attach a moral defect to the identity you want to erase, then offer ‘liberation’ through re-education.  Courage degenerates into ‘aggression,’ leadership into ‘oppression,’ fatherhood into ‘patriarchal privilege.’  The outcome is predictable: abolish the virtues that civilize male strength, then lament the violence or apathy that follows.”

Garcia went further in his article, arguing that the cultural collapse around masculinity was permitted. The opponents of masculinity, “turned moral virtue into pathology and repackaged fatherhood as an oppression.”  He continues with this soul searching statement, “a generation of boys has been raised to doubt their instincts, to apologize for their strength, and to see their fathers as liabilities rather than legacies.”  Garcia calls for the restoration of masculine virtue.  “Not nostalgia.  Not anger. But clarity.”  We are in his words “at the hinge.”  “The institutions may be hallow, the narratives poisoned, but the hunger for truth remains…..Masculinity is not toxic – it’s virtuous.  When we reclaim that distinction, we invite our sons to stand tall instead of apologizing for existing – and we give civilization the allies it deserves.”

I very much appreciate Mr. Garcia’s challenge.  From the beginning of this blog, I have been passionate to express a positive expression of masculinity found in the teaching of the Bible.  I must confess that I am more comfortable expressing my concerns, rather than putting them into words.  This blog is not a natural motivation for me.  Rather it is a spiritual discipline, by which I have grown as a voice for godly masculinity.  So, I take Mr. Garcia’s exhortation seriously to keep on doing what I do. 

As a young man, I had no concept of my God given identity as a male.  In my surrender to Jesus, I found healing for my masculine soul.  With the continual support of my godly wife, teachers such as Larry Christianson, Richard Roher, Leanne Payne, and John and Paula Sandford, my eyes were opened to the Lord’s presence in my life.   I found support from godly elders in my churches; men such Chuck Metelman, Dave Anderson, and Herb Gustafson.  Scripture has been a continual guide, along with the inner healing of my soul as my heart was opened through contemplative prayer.  I am eternally grateful for God’s grace and mercy in my life. 

I agree that masculinity has been hijacked.  We are notes Garcia at a “hinge” “The institutions may be hollow, the narratives poisoned, but the hunger for truth remains.  And in that hunger lies our moment.”  I cannot sit back and “tinker around the edges.” I exhort men reading this blog to recommit to follow Jesus.  He tells us in Rev. 3:8, “I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.”  Young men are hungering for the truth.  They are looking for exemplars, whom they can learn from.  There is a “father hunger” in our nation that is crying out to be nourished.     

I am a “feeling-intuitive guy,” according to the Myers-Briggs.  It took many years before I could accept being a male, who just never seemed to fit in the male culture.  I didn’t fit with the stereotype.  As I grew older, becoming more acquainted with personality types, I gained the liberating realization that I was a feeling-intuitive man.  Beside my type, I am left-handed.  I’m OK, just wired differently.   I discovered my feminine side was naturally more developed.  In my family of origins, I am thankful for my mother.  She was a straight, no-nonsense women, who toughened me up as a young man.  I am most thankful for my wife, who loves me for who I am. 

Having given you a thumb-nail sketch of my personality, I need to add – I have worked mightily on my labilities.  I am not intellectual, practical, nor am I linear in my thinking.  I have studied continually, worked at being practical, while striving to be consistent.  I was deeply moved by an article in First Things by Freya India entitled “The right has forgotten feeling.”  Ms. India, in her journey, is once again embracing conservative Christianity.  But she laments the lack of real feeling for the hurts of women. 

I must confess, in writing this blog for 15 years, I have been reluctant to admit I am a “heart guy” first rather than a “head guy.” But the article stuck a deep nerve in my heart.  “Girls and young women are hurting,” notes India. “They are suffering from record rates of anxiety and depression.  Some are starving themselves……. Many feel alone with few friends, little face-to-face interaction, often without a father or mother in the picture.  They feel hopeless, powerless.”  

These feelings seem to have little appreciation in the modern world.  India stresses, “by feeling I mean not just emotion but intuition, a nagging sense that something was wrong, that my needs weren’t being met.  Conservative commentators, who seem to be over reliant on intellect and argument, on numbers and logic are not reaching hurting young women.”  Ms. India experiences, “endless abstract arguments for marriage, but very little talking to young women who ache…….Commentators quote obscure theological texts to prove their intellect, rarely to persuade.”     

India encounters too much blaming of girls and young women for their struggles. “Maybe,” wonders India, “young girls behave as they do because they are desperate, wired, to be seen, to be accepted, to belong.  They need refuge, not ridicule.”  She suggests arguing from feelings, for painful realities, are matters of the heart. “Besides forgetting how to speak about feelings, the right has forgotten to listen….. (if you) listen to young women long enough, you will often hear pain.” 

She challenges Christians, “In a world that denies and confuses young women’s every instinct, show them another way.”  Give young women permission to say no. They are, “not insecure for having strong moral instincts.” Our mission “must be to heal their troubled hearts, to still their racing minds, to mend their broken trust.”  India closes with this thought, “How hard it is to discuss instincts.  It is harder still to defend them.  But that is our battle.  Our fight is to put feelings into words.  To articulate the pain, the loss, the abandonment.  Find the words, because those words might finally reach young women, might finally bring them home.”

Men, I have spent a lifetime, fighting “to put feelings into words.”  Therefore, I would say; First, we need to affirm the intuition of woman, rather than make a joke of its expression.  Secondly, remember there are hurting young women, who are casualties of our left-brain society.  Thirdly, be a loving presence among young women.   

Pastor Alexander Sosler in an article entitled “You can’t hustle your way to holiness” in Christianity Today, used the phrase “rise and grind.”  He is talking about the new generation of influencers, who are targeting younger men, with the thought of getting Christian men out of their heads and into the real world around them.  But pastor Sosler wonders, “But in the life of faith, I also think my drive to be the best can make me the spiritually worst.”

He gives this caution,  “… underneath these modern messages is also a deeper, more distorted desire; There’s always more to do, more to read, more money to make, more experiences to have, more people to beat.  Life is set up for the grind. Perform. Do better. Money is power, so get some. And what young people can’t know yet is that this mindset leaves you exhausted.”

He goes on to rightly suggest, “In Christianity, we call upon a higher standard of grace, which has nothing to do with our effort or striving.  You can’t hack your way to holiness because holiness is slow work.  Formation is less about productivity and more about stillness.  This way of life requires discipline, but it’s a discipline of absence not performance.  The battle cry of formation isn’t necessarily ‘Fight for the Lord’ but ‘the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still'” (Ex. 14:14)……These words don’t excite my Western sensibilities.  I want to be deserving of what I get.”

He goes on to focus on “deserving.”  He quotes Thomas Merton on perseverance.  “Perseverance is not hanging on to some course which we have set our mind to, and refusing to let go……I am coming to think that God …. loves and helps best those who are so beat and have so much nothing when they come to die that it is almost as if they had persevered in nothing but had gradually lost everything, piece by piece, until there was nothing left but God.  Hence perseverance is not hanging on, but letting go.” 

Sosler reminds us of Paul’s words, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness: (II Cor. 12:9).  “For Paul,” notes Sosler, “perseverance involved letting go.  Formation was submission. His weakness proved God’s power, which means the scandal of perseverance is this: Even in the emptiness, God loves us.”  

The author ends his article with these words. “So in those moments when you’re at the end of your proverbial rope, God is there, and you are still his beloved.”  He quotes Henri Nouwen, “We are not what we do.  We are not what we have.  We are not what others think of us.  Coming home is claiming the truth, I am the beloved of a loving Creator.”

The quote from Nouwen was instrumental in my formation some years ago, when I was caught up in a “spiritual performance” trap. I still can feel and picture myself as a earnest, sincere pastor wanting to be holy and spiritual effective at the same time.  I was on a treadmill, with little awareness of how to get off.  Thank God, I had a spiritual friend who taught me how to slow down and allow the Lord to do his work in my heart.  

That transition for me happened over thirty years ago.  But even at my age (83), I still get caught in the “performance trap.”   I have my unique “conveyer belt” that I get on, carrying me along in my own energy and strength.  I have had the learn patience the hard way.  God work of transformation is a “slow process.”  

To say  God is a Warrior, is like raising a red banner in the midst of  the cross currents of angry voices wanting to get rid of patriarchy.  A warrior God is viewed with deep suspicion in our day when all the structures of patriarchy are being questions.  For some, warrior gives them confidence that God will be victorious, defeating  evil and establishing a reign of God’s kingdom in the end.  For others, “warrior” is a word to be “flagged,” signaling a hateful, angry presence, who will trampling on the weak and vulnerable.  But the God of scripture is called a Warrior.  The Lord gives us a warning.  Ps. 78:65 tells us,  “Then the Lord awoke as from sleep. as a man wakes from the stupor of wine.” 

In Exodus 15, as the Israelites  were escaping the mighty army of Pharaoh, standing on dry ground, they watched as the entire army drown in the sea behind them.  “They sank to the depths like a stone.” (Ex. 15:5)  In response, Moses, Miriam and the people sang to the Lord.  “The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is his name” (Ex. 15:3).  They declared in song,  “Who among the gods is like you, O Lord? Who is like you – majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders? You stretch out your right hand and the earth swallowed them.” (Ex. 15:11-12).

Having experienced Pharaoh’s mighty army being drowned, Miriam, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women joined her, with tambourines.  They danced and sang. “Sing to the Lord, for he is highly exalted.  For horse and driver he has hurled into the sea” (Ex. 15:20-21).  They celebrated in joyful worship, singing joyfully, “By the blast of your nostrils the waters piled up.  The surging waters stood up like a wall” (Ex. 15:8).  

They were in awe of their mighty God.  “Who among the gods is like you, Lord?  Who is like you – majestic in holiness, awesome in glory working wonders?” (Ex. 15:11).  They even sang about the love of God.  “You stretch our your right hand, and the earth swallows your enemies.  In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed” (Ex. 15:13).   

Just before they entered the sea to escape Pharaoh’s army, Moses had told the people, “Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Ex 14:13-14).  Imagine being told to stand firm and see how God will save you from the mightiest army on earth.  Moses was confident they would see God’s deliverance.  He know without a doubt that their God as a “warrior.”

If anyone doubts God is a warrior, Revelation 19 describes the loving and compassionate Jesus of the Gospels as the heavenly warrior who has defeated the beast (the devil).  “His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns.  He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself.  He is dressed in a robe dipping in blood, and his name is the Word of God.” (Rev. 19:12). 

At the end of history, Jesus, the Son of God, is pictured as a victorious rider on a white horse.  He is “dressed in a robe dipped in blood…..out of his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations.” (Rev 19:13 &15)  But Jesus also called the “lamb.”  The enemies makes war against the lamb.  But we read, “They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because he is Lord or Lords and King of kings.” (Rev. 17:14)   

Recently Judy and I celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary with our immediate family.  Almost two years ago, we began signaling our desire to celebrate with our three adult children and their spouses. The grandkids would be a extra blessing.  Four of our eight grandkids joined us.  As the event neared, we both became aware of its importance in our lives.  We also felt “spiritual warfare” in preparing our remarks.

We  wanted to pass on a spiritual legacy.   I can assure you, there was prayerful consideration in our preparation.  Judy gave an intimate portrait of each family.  She shared her insights and memories, with carefully chosen word of affection, admiration and acceptance for each family.  Her careful, crafted words,  expressed with loving affection. were sought afterwards by each family. 

My comments, coming after prayerful thought were not recorded on paper.  I felt an urgency in my remarks, knowing the uniqueness of our gathering.   I began with  Ps. 71:18,  “Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God.  Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.”  Being in the fourth quarter, my wife and I used this occasion to speak boldly, with a burden to leave a spiritual legacy.  Reflecting on our long journey, we visualize the end of the journey.  We continue to pray each morning for our family,  while asking the Lord to give us a good death.  

I acknowledged speaking as the patriarch of our family, since I was the oldest male in our gathering.  From the beginning of our family, I have embraced and accepted the biblical role of Patriarch found in God’s Word.  God began His plan to rescue humanity through Abraham.  “All the families of the earth will be blessed through you.” (Gen. 12:3).  Then we read in Matthew 1:1, of Jesus being, a “descendant of King David and of Abraham.”  Since I’ve  been adopted into God’s family, as a male, married with three adult children, I  accepted the role of Patriarch.

To declare on our 60 wedding celebration, the role of a Patriarch, was to be vulnerable and spiritually exposed before my family.  Why? First, the role of  Patriarch is highly suspect in today’s culture.  But, by the grace of God I have sought to be a honorable Patriarch.  Secondly, the matter of “living out the role” of Patriarch caused foreboding in my heart. I acknowledged my unworthiness and dependency on God’s mercy. Regardless, I have sought to be intentional  in my role as Patriarch.  My wife accepts her role of my help mate.  I say she is a “long-suffering women,” who has put up with me as her head for all these years.  Thirdly, to be a Patriarch is to  live counter-culturally.  The word has a negative connotation today.  I am the least likely man to embrace the role.  But I have chosen to “lean” into this biblical role.   

The heart of my exhortation was expressed as follows:  1) the rightly ordering of spiritual reality, knowing the light overcomes the impending darkness,  2) to speak a word of overcoming into the spiritual realm of darkness, waging war against the light, and 3) to pray a blessing on each family, asking for God’s grace and protection for the days to come.

I expressed gratitude and thanks for how the Lord has formed my family, first my wonderful wife and then our extended family.  It is God’s gift to me. I expressed  that the time is short.  Greater darkness is coming.  But we can choose to walk in the light of Jesus.  The battle will rage mightily between light and darkness. But Jesus has overcome the darkness.   

Seth Troutt, a young pastor in Arizona, articulates masculine issues in an insightful manner.  In a recent article entitled, “A dearth of vital virtues,” he contends that our society has a masculinity shortage.  In our culture, the description of masculinity as “toxic” is a binary word, being an either-or reality; either a man is too toxic, or he isn’t.  But male toxicity can be viewed as not having enough male energy. The question then becomes when does masculinity become toxic?  “The world suffers,” observes Troutt, “not from too much, but from too little, healthy masculine presence.”  

“Masculinity has to do with male energy and male presence” notes Troutt, “what a man feels like relationally and what his contribution is to the world.”  In understanding masculinity there are two basic assumptions.  “One perspective envisions masculinity as inherently toxic in the binary sense.”  In this view male leadership, aggression and ambition are basically toxic, seeing masculinity energy as domination and controlling.  Masculinity is like a cancer. It needs to be eliminated.  The second perspective is more nuanced, seeing  the amount of toxic masculinity as expressed  harmful. “Too much of anything can prove to be ‘toxic.'”  

Influencers like Andrew Tate can be seen as having too much masculinity.  “The antidote …would be to tone it down, to embrace a more balanced or androgynous energy.”  But Troutt believes there is a lack of God given masculinity.  “Our culture is suffering not from too much of a possible dangerous thing.  Instead, we’re suffering from too little of a necessary thing. We don’t have a toxic masculinity problem.  We have an anemic masculinity problem,” not enough godly masculinity.

What is anemic masculinity?  “Like a body with chronically low amounts of iron can develop anemia, a culture or a person with chronically low nutrients develops an anemic masculine.  What are the aspects of masculinity that are most lacking?” In Troutt’s view the discussion regarding toxic masculinity gets things mostly wrong.  For example, Troutt points out, “A chauvinist isn’t too masculine.  He’s not masculine enough. He sticks out for what he lacks: chivalry and humility.” Troutt points out four characteristics of godly masculinity.

First, “a godly masculinity will always present as humility.”  Instead surrendering in the face of the voices of “toxic” criticism. men should be bold and stand in their God given masculinity.  Male energy is expressed in servanthood. Jesus said, “The greatest among you will be your servant” (Matt 23:11). 

Secondly, “a proper masculinity will see his desires as fundamentally good, but nonetheless disordered.” As an example, the desire for sex is normal, but lust is too much.  A godly expression of masculinity is deeply aware of sexuality, but has surrendered the passions to be rightly ordered by God.

Thirdly, “the true vision for masculinity is of a man who can take care of himself.”  He is focused on giving himself first to others.  He sees himself as a servant of others.  He does not project been a victim.

Fourthly, “an authentic masculinity will recognize the reality of male power and use it to honor and uplift.”  Men are encouragers.

As an elderly male, who has been concerned with issues of masculinity for over 30 years, I admire this young man for his courage.  I agree with his challenge at the end of his article.  “The absence of masculine strength-in-action means that bad players thrive while the weak and timid suffer.  We are to beat back wolves, not coddle them and delve into their back stories.  We are to warn divisive and unruly people while driving out the leaven that threatens the whole lump.  Shirking of responsibility is wildly non-masculine.”

I have been enduring some storm tossed days in my soul life  It has been dark and cloudy.  I struggle with conflicting thoughts about who I am and what I am doing with my life.  I want to be a light for Jesus in my present surroundings, but I am haunted with doubts about my own faithfulness.   

I have learned to accept inner storms as a normal part of my spiritual journey.  Years ago, I was reluctant to acknowledge the  frequent storm occurring in my inner life, since I felt I had matured enough to be able to have clear sailing.  But I have learned as I journey along, storm will appear unexpected.  The storms, allowed by the Lord are a natural part of my spiritual growth.  I only learn by going through the storm, not by pretending it isn’t there.

I share my struggle because I got some encouragement from a recent blog by Ron Rolheiser. It helped give expression to my experience of the “dark night.” “Jesus,” notes Rolheiser, had a cosmic image for this experience.  “The sun will be darkened, the moon will not give forth its light, stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of heaven will be shaken”  (Matt. 25:29). When Jesus refers to these words from Isaiah, he is not describing only  cosmic cataclysms, but also a cataclysms of the heart.  “Sometimes our inner world is shaken, turned upside down; it gets dark in the middle of the day, there’s an earthquake in  the heart; we experience the end of the world as we’ve known it.” 

I say “amen.”  Rolheiser goes on the talk about “a dark night of the soul,” an experience of the soul life that I have have spent almost forty years of trying to understand.  Discussing St. John of the Cross, he writes, “God takes away the pleasure and consolation and we experience a certain dark night in that where we once felt fire, passion, consolation, and security, we will now feel dryness, boredom, disillusion, and insecurity.  For John of the Cross, all honeymoons eventually end.”

Why does the honeymoon need to end?  Rolheiser suggests, “on a honeymoon, too often we are more in love with being  in love and all the wonderful energy this creates than we are in love with the person behind all those feelings. The same is  true for faith and prayer.  When we first begin to pray seriously, we are often more in love with the experience of praying  and what it’s doing for us than we are in love with God.”  Therese of Lisieux used to warn: “Be careful not to seek yourself in love, you’ll end up with a broken heart that way.”

Years ago, I finally came to the realization that the honeymoon stage of my journey was over.  I was like a child who always expected candy from his father.  My heavenly Father was weaning me of the “sweet” experiences of prayer with its “sugar highs.”   I did not like giving up the familiar, while my heavenly Father was expecting me to live more like a maturing adult.  The honeymoon was over. I was being led down a path meant for a more mature adult man.   

Briefly, this is what I have learned thus far.  1) Realizing darkness, dryness and not knowing is normal.   2) God allows changes in the life of the soul for our growth.  Our old self will resist.  3) God looks at the intention of our heart.  Do we truly want to love Jesus more.  4) He will continue pursues us in love.  5) God will never give up on us.  6) Ultimately we surrender to his love as we mature.