while we crochet or do crafty things.Some of us suffer because our basic human needs were not met as a child and we need healing in order to thrive as adult. I am reading what Michael John Cusick, a counselor, spiritual director and former professor wrote about our four foundational needs. He names them as the Four S’s: seen, soothed, safe, and secure. We come into the world with these needs and rely on others for these needs to be met so we can form healthy, secure, attached relationships with others. When they are not met we have a hard time to trust others and God.
One of our friends did not feel welcomed and valued at birth and was a ward of the state. He missed experiencing the love and attention of a mom who delighted in him. He was not soothed, comforted and cared for when distressed or anxious. He didn’t know safety and protection when he was in physical or emotional danger, and was not secure in knowing his needs would be met. Such a hard beginning often leaves such a one anxious and ambivalent, relying on self, not trusting others and having the wrong view of God. He can also have a hard time receiving and may withdraw.
But the Lord can close the gap and help us experience Him as one who sees us, soothes us, keeps us safe and secure. If we are to know God’s love, we have to be able to receive. We first have to surrender our fears, anxiety and shame and ask the Lord to meet us there. God sees us and heals us as we let go of who we think we are and what we have thought we needed to be to survive. Instead we rest in the knowledge that He is with us every moment and He loves us always and forever. Then we disconnect from the old ways of seeing ourselves and trying to measure up, and can receive His divine love that meets all of our needs.
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