Anthony B. Bradley, continues to help me with his insights regarding  men in our culture.  In a recent blog he quotes Lutheran Pastor, Jeffrey Hemmer in his observation of the greek word, “malakia” in I Cor. 6:9.  It means moral softness.  “It is,” suggest Bradly, “the deliberate avoidance of pain, the deficiency of resistance to the difficulties that most men withstand.  It is cowardice dressed in the clothing of comfort.  And it precisely what a culture of safetyism manufactures at scale.  It makes young men unhelpful and women and children pay the price.” 

“Masculinity,” believes Hemmer, “means harnessing the natural power a man possesses and using it for the good of others around him.  The essence of masculinity is not rugged independence.  It is sacrificial giving.”  Safetyism trains men, however, in the opposite direction.  It teaches self-preservation, discomfort as a threat, failure as catastrophic, and the good life as the avoidance of suffering.

Anthony quotes the work of Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff, who point out the infantilization of boys and the permanent delay or arrest of masculine identity.  In their opinion, the safety culture has undergone “concept creep” as it expanded, “from physical safety into emotional safety, and the effect is that young people are shielded from the very stressors that build resilience.   

Pastor Hemmer notes malakia is linked to cowardice.  “Cowardice is accompanied by softness, unmanliness, faint-heartedness, fondness of life; and it also has an element of cautiousness and submissiveness of character.”  These in the opinion of Bradley are, “not incidental character quirks.  They are the predictable fruit of a formation system that has treated every difficulty as a problem to be solved by an adult.” Oliver Cowlishaw, in writing about the “Peter-Pan Syndrome” suggests “overprotective parents produce men who are ‘floaty, flighty and unreliable.'”  They have no direction, they avoid commitment, while expecting to be managed.  

Bradley agreeing with Pastor Hemmer, believes, “safetyism [is] a spiritual problem as much as a developmental one.” The Pastor reminds us  the church exists to build men up, “to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro.”  Bradley suggests, “The opposite of that mature manhood is exactly what safetyism produces: men who are perpetually tossed, perpetually uncertain, perpetually dependent on others to manage their world.” 

Freya India, a Gen Z writer, describes safetyism from the inside, “childhoods without real risk……..hammered into an entire generation that the ultimate goal of life is comfort and safety, and that anything involving risk is a threat.”  Then she notes, “It is hard to rewire that.”  Bradley adds, “And for young men, who are called specifically to initiate, to lead, and to absorb cost for others, the rewiring cost is highest of all.”

I am challenged by the thought of “rewiring” young men.  I choose to make the task of “rewiring” one of my biggest priorities.  This blog is for that reason.  What else can be said regarding the rewiring.

First,  young men must come to realize, that life is hard and it is not all about them.  It is a matter of taking up the cross and following Jesus.  He will make us into the men we ought to be.

Secondly, I am realizing the gap in the lifestyle of the young generation and my generation.  Therefore, my expectations need to be dampened as I attempt to relate to men just beginning to grow into manhood.

Thirdly, I need to live comfortably and confidently in my masculinity, while wanting to be a presence in the lives of younger men.