I have been reading a book by Dr. David John Seel entitled “Aspirational Masculinity.”  It has been very informative as I continue to process what it means to be a man, living for Jesus in this new year (2026).  He acknowledges that masculinity is in a state of flux.  Even though men are listening for the male voice of others, they are not at all confident in knowing what a man actually is and how he should behave in our day.  Men wonder who they can  follow or trust with their “life aspirations.”   

Dr. Seel asks an intriguing  question, “What if men must lose their autonomy to find their authenticity?”  How are men to behave in a society, where men are  “being minimized, erased, and blamed.”  The crisis of masculinity in the author’s understanding is more a crisis of personhood.  Seel notes, “a man who is fully alive, is a man who is living his life in Christ; a man both aware of his Creator and dependent on his Creator for a re-created inner life.” He  lives in reliance on the indwelling presence of Christ.  Masculinity is about becoming someone new.

Dr Seel focuses is on being rather than doing . “Masculinity is not a noun, something we are, but a verb, something we are in the process of becoming, by living in the inner spiritual presence of God within us.”  Jesus’ incarnational presence in our lives makes the difference. Jesus is not an idea but the actual presence in our life.  “It is this mystical spiritual relationship, living life in Christ,” maintains Seel, “that animates all else in our live and brings it into a unified focus.”  God did not come to make us marginally better persons, but a whole new kind of person.  “An aspirational male,” maintains Dr. Seel, “is a new kind of creature, not merely a nicer male.” He quotes C. S. Lewis: “Our real selves are all waiting for us in him…Until you have given up yourself to Him you will not have a real self.”

Dr. Seel has a challenge  for men.  “Are you ready to live as a “modern mystic,” embracing the deeper meaning of life?  How does this fit with your goals?”  Men will ultimately find their security and significance in the inner presence of Christ.  It is this dynamic that makes men whole men, able to embrace their full masculine self.  Dr. Seel is firm in his conviction: “There is no other way to find ourselves as men.”  I agree with Seel in his observation of men viewing talk about “the presence of Christ within” as rather weird.  “This is a mystical spiritual relationship, but it is no less real or objective because of it.  Our problem is our cultural bias for materialism and scientific empiricism.”  

An aspirational masculinity is based on a choice to “align ourselves with our true nature and with the true nature of reality.”  We align with something outside ourselves, giving us the ability to find who we really are. Our personhood is unified in Christ.  The four components of manhood  – spirituality, identity, work and marriage are harmonized and empowered in Christ.  “This is the coherence we all most desire in our lives.” We can aspire to such a lifestyle.

I find Dr. Seel a fresh breeze in the affirmation of the masculine.  1) His insistence of “self-abdication,” 2) Personhood in Christ – a totally new man.  3) Masculinity being more “verb than a noun” – more about becoming than doing, 4) Embracing the mystical – life of Jesus within,  5) Find meaning  in a unified lifestyle – God, self, marriage and work,  6) Balance of head and heart – the objective and subjective.