Category: Wildman Journey (Page 78 of 87)

Richard Rohr, one of my favorite writers on male spirituality, has a meditation on blind Bartimaeus in Mark 1o:46-52.  If you remember the story, Bartimaeus is desperate to get to the feet of Jesus.  He shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”  He was rebuked and told to be quiet.  But he shouted all the more.  Jesus stopped and asked him what he wanted.   He said that he wanted to see.  Jesus said to him, “your faith has healed you.”  “Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.”

Rohr notes that for a blind man, his cloak represents security.  “A blind man was considered cursed by God”  observed Rohr.  “Their only protection against the elements was their cloak.”  The blind man dropped his cloak.  “In doing so, he dropped all the security he had even known to follow the one named Jesus.”   I wonder what our security blankets are as men.  I suppose it will vary for each of us.  But certainly our security blanket brings us a sense of the familiar and some sense of assurance that we can protect ourselves.

Why do we have security blankets?  Isn’t part of the reason our hidden fears that we find hard to admit and face.  I know for myself when I think of my security blanket I have to acknowledge there is a little boy inside who is afraid that he will not be understood.   I especially begin to have these feelings when I am threatened or misunderstood.  These are moments when I reach for my security blanket to provide  protection from what I consider a cruel world that does not seem to understand.  This is the response of a immature boy, who has not yet grown up.  This is very hard for me to admit.  But time and time again these are my responses

What an example Bartimaeus can be to us.  He wants to see.  He is willing to give up his only security to have the opportunity to come before Jesus.  First, he had to have faith that is was going to be ok to leave his security.  Second, he wanted very badly to receive his sight.  Even when he was told to be quiet, he kept on calling out to Jesus.  Third, his cry was for mercy.  He had nothing to offer Jesus.  He was totally dependent on Jesus to help him.

Men this is a wonderful example for us to ponder.  Like Bartimaeus we have to set aside our security blanket, whatever than may be.  It will prevent us from coming to Jesus.  Bartimaeus might have missed Jesus if he had not  throw off his blanket.  We, like Bartimaeus have to be somewhat desperate.  His prayer is one of the most heartfelt in all the gospels.  It was short and to the point.  That’s says something to us men.  Make our prayer sincere and from the heart.  Probably the greatest witness for me, as that fact the Bartimaeus believed that Jesus could help him.  So with us men.  We will not move toward Jesus till we believe he will take care of us.   We have to get up, throw off the blanket we hide behind, cry out in desperation, and come to Jesus.  He will receive us.  We will never be denied when we come in such simple, heartfelt faith.

I have been giving quite a bit of attention to a week-end retreat I will be doing this week-end.  One of the components of our retreat for about a dozen guys as to do with the affirmation of our masculine soul and the incorporation of the feminine complement.  It seems to me that this is not talked about as much as it should in men’s ministry.  I personally have found much insight and healing from two authors in particular on this subject.  These two authors are Leanne Payne and the other a Franciscan priest, Richard Rohr. 

I first began to digest Leanne Payne’s material in the early 90’s.  So I have lived with her material for over 20 years.  I discovered Richard Rohr a few years later.  What I would like to highlight in this post is the need for men, after they become secure in their masculine identity, to then embrace the feminine counterpart of their person hood.  Genesis 2:27 tells us of God created man in his image.  “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”  (Genesis 2:27).  The image of God is reflected in both male and female. These are transcendent qualites that we have from God.  

Men we find  true affirmation in relationship to our heavenly Father.  Having found their affirmation in their relationship to God, there is a need to find the balance of the feminine.  Rohr observes, “A man who is secure in his gender identity will have a healthy masculine gender identity as well as the balance of the complementary feminine”.  This can be expressed in such phrase as “head and heart”, “tough and tender”, “rational and intuitive” “doing and being” and “courage and compassion.”   In a culture such as ours, where the feminine voice has been raising a lot of protest over the wrongful dominance of men, men are being forced to look at the feminine complement in their lives.  The problem is that many men are doing so without being secure in their own male identity.  The result are men who are weak and passive. 

There are some leaders in men’s minstry who have pointed out, that the message of the church is geared more for a feminine response.  Surrender and being loving, while showing compassion in relationships is a common theme.  While this is a necessary expression for men, who are followers of Jesus, this can’t be the only message men hear.  Men are naturally geared toward doing.  Payne believes that “at the heart of the masculine is energy to honor the truth and move forward in the truth.”  The masculine is resolute, orientated to work, order and accomplishment.  This needs to be affirmed in a healthy male identity.  Out of this identity comes the capacity to embrace the more feminine qualites of connecting, relating and responding.  But these will be best integrated in the heart of a man who has found his masculine identity in Christ.

Did you know that Starbucks is dropping the word “Starbuck” from it logo.  This is happening in time for its 40th anniversary in March.  A company spokesperson observed  that people can now recognize the logo without the words.  It was stated that the new logo is a “metaphor for the company dropping the boundaries of itsown business and growing into new areas.”  Being associated only with coffee is to confining and restrictive.  The idea is to keep selling experience with coffee being only a part of the experience.

As I read that article I was preparing my sermon for last Sunday.  The text for last Sunday, which was the Baptism of Our Lord, was from Matt 3:13-17.  It is the story of Jesus’ baptism.  I made the point that there is nothing restricting about the way of Jesus.  If our spiritual life seems restrictive, not giving us life and energy to live for God, we have misunderstood the nature of the gospel.  The same Holy Spirit that came upon Jesus that day, is the same Spirit that fills us with the presence of God when we put our trust in Jesus

I kept thinking about men who read this blog site. The text declares that in Jesus all righteousness in being fulfilled.  The message puts it this way, “God’s work, putting things right all these centuries, is coming together now in this baptism.”  All the preparations that God had made for us to enter into abundant life was now going to be fulfilled when Jesus entered into his baptism experience.  It as after he came up out of the water that he was himself was baptized with the Holy Spirit. Mark tells us, “As Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove” (Mark 1:10).  Matthew tells us that, “at that moment heaven was opened.”

The implication from the baptism of Jesus is that heaven was opening up in a new way.  God was now becoming involved in the lives of his people in a new way.  Jesus, John tells us, would now be the one who would baptism us with the same Holy Spirit.  The very presence of God would now take up residence in our lives.  Peter in his sermon recalls Jesus baptism, remembering, “how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him” (Acts 10:38).  That same power for doing good could now reside in each of us. 

 One of the continually questions men ask in the secret place of the heart is, “Do I have what it takes?”  This question causes a lot of men to stand on the sidelines, living a passive and silent life spiritually.  They so often think that the spirituality of their wives is much more affective then their own.  But the good news from this text is that we have been given in the person of the Holy Spirit that very presence of God.  Jesus baptizes in the power and presence of the Holy Spirit.  When we put our trust in him, he will carry us through, giving all we need through the work of His Spirit in us.  So don’t restrict your spiritual life and practice.  Turn your heart to heaven, asking Jesus to come a fill you will all you need for the journey. All the requirements have been met.  Our posture is that of being able to receive what is being given.

I have not written for over a week.  As I have mentioned before, I am not sure if there are many readers of this post, but I believe that I am supposed to keep writing this blog, if for no other reasonthen out of sheer obedience.  I believe strongly that there needs to be voices out their in the cultrual wilderness that are speaking to men struggling  to understand the nature of the masculine soul.  These are men who want to be able to discern and listen for the “movements” of their souls.  It is difficult when men don’t have the language and guidance for such a vital practice.  This is why I keep writing. 

Last Sunday as I was preaching ion the gospel text from John 1:1-18, I was struck by the sense in which we as persons, who are embodied souls are invited into the life of the Trinity.  In his prologue to his story of Jesus, John is already giving us an outline of the Trinitarian life.  This is the life that we are invited to join; the “great dance” as C. S Lewis calls it.  Imagine, men, being invited to dance with the life found within the community of  Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  For this we were created.  As I was reflecting on that thought in the sermon, it stuck me rather forcefully,  “Why do we hold back as embodied souls from joyfully entering into the life of the trinity.’  Why do so many of us stay on the sidelines.  By “embodied soul” I mean joining in with our whole body – mind, will, spirit, emotions, and physical expressions. 

Later on Sunday afternoon, I reflected further on this idea, and thought it would be a good idea to present this question to men.  Why do we stay on the sideline as it were, thinking about God, trying to stay in control while managing our lives.  I have been on the sidelines for years, in the sense of not fully entering into the life afforded to me within the Trinity.  Some of it has to do with not being aware of life within the Trinity, but more so with the difficulty I have in seeing myself as an embodied soul.   In these days I am at least seeing that life in the Trinity is for me.  I also am moving off the sidelines, learning to enter into this life with my whole self.

For me, one of the best ways it illustrate this in my life, is to recall dancing with my three grand kidsin Kansas City.  My son, Kurt has a new found fondness for of all things, the music of Elvis Presley.  Well, when I was a teen-ager  I owned every 45 record of Elvis’.  So we turn on Kurt’s I-pod station ( I think that is what you call it) and dance.  Now I could be a “sideline Grandpa” and let them dance to Elvis.  But when I dance with them, it is pure joy.  There is Grandpa, as an embodied soul dance with the grand kids.   Think of it men, we are invited into  life within the dance.  The Father takes delight, when we get off the sidelines and fully enter into the life He offers to us in Jesus, his Son.  So get up and start dancing.  See what happens to your spirit and soul.

During this Christmas season as believers we spend extra time reflecting on the meaning of God become a human being.  This is the greatest miracle of our faith and the story that we have to tell to a dying world.  God became human flesh in the baby Jesus. We read in Gal 4:4, “But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law.”  God allowed himself to be fully known in human form.  Through the gospel story we experience Jesus going through all of the same issues of life that we face.  “Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested” (Heb 2:18).  This is how we come to know God.  We see him in the face of Jesus.  “If you know me, you would also know my Father” (John 8:18) Jesus tells us.

But what about our being known by God.  Is that a strange and even unsettling concept for you.  I know for us men, who are more secure in our “control tower of reason” we struggle with being known, especially by God. In a new book entitled “Anatony of the Soul,”  Curt Thompson, M.D. talks about being known by God.  He points out that we spend much more emphasis on the ways and the degree to which we know God or things about God.   Most of the time we reflect on what or how much you know or know about God.  We seldom ask the question, “What is my experience of being know by God? 

Because of the enlightenment focus on thinking, “knowing things” has held first place in our culture.  We place value on the facts, knowing the “truth” and knowing that we are right.  Thompson observes, “….not just any way of knowing.  We have most valued knowing facts, knowing the “truth” and knowing that we are right.  Right about the way things work, the way to behave, and the way to think about issues of faith…..We even subject our experience of faith to research scrutiny in ordr to give it more weight apologically.”  But an over emphasis on this way of knowing can prevent us from the experience of being known, of loving and being loved.  This relates back to something that I blog about often; the ability of men to simply receive from God.  By that I mean, being about to hear the still, small voice of God declaring our belovedness.

Our “knowing about” gives us the illusion that we are secure and in charge.  This is something that seems to be built into the DNA of  men.  But we fear being know for who we are.  We don’t like to think of being found out.  We especially don’t like to be brought to the edge of deepening relationship with God and significant others.  For then in our understanding of reality we have to enter into the “chaos and mystery” of relationships.  But this will need to happen if we are to be known by God.  We have to let go of our understanding and having to be in control.  It is in those intimate times of vulnerability that we are able to hear the voice of God, calling us his beloved.  It is once again the call to childlike surrender.  Paul reminds us that we don’t have to always have the answer.  “We sometimes tend to think we know all we need to know to answer these kinds of questions – but sometimes our humble hearts can help us more than our proud minds.  We never really know enough until we recognize that God alone knows it all”  ( I Cor 8:3 – The Message).  So let us listen with a humble heart, not with a proud mind.

E. Scott Peck in one of his books quotes St. Therese of Lisieux as saying, “If you are willing to serenely bear the trial of being displeased to yourself, then you will be for Jesus a pleasant place of shelter.”  Peck says this is one of the most profound pieces of psychological wisdom he has ever read.  This is the opposite of what most religious folks believe.  We have a hard time to admit, while living with the reality that we are displeased with ourselves.  This is especially true for us men.  Fear on our spiritual journey can almost paralyze us, especially the fear of not measuring up what we think might be a “spiritual” standard for our walk with God.  Again the words of I John 4:18 come to mind.  “There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love”  The Message reads in part, “There is no room in love for fear.  Well-formed love banishes fear.”

One of the greatest struggles on my spiritual journey has been wanting to become a better Christian man, yet struggling with my “badness.”  It seemed easier to just deny the bad in myself and push it into the dark recesses of my soul, then go on trying to measure up.  This became a great burden when I felt I had to preform well spiritual as a pastor.  How could I accept and acknowledge that I had a “dark side” that was hidden as I presented an outward “shining” spiritual self.  I tried to live with “the lid” on the bad inside.  This caused me to live in shame and guilt.  I was not sincere and open in my responses to people.  I was trying to be someone, while  attempting to deny who I was on the inside

Thankfully, I have, in these latter years, begun to take “the lid” of the bad inside.  This has resulted in several significant changes, that the Holy Spirit has formed in my character.  I do not take any of the credit.  My part is to respond in love and obedience to the Lord in the order.  First, I sense that I am more authentic.  I can just be me.  I am not as afraid to admit and share the struggles I have had and continue to have with my “dark side.”  That takes a lot of pressure off my preforming.  One more noticeable aspect of my daily walk has been the evidence of joy.  Since I can be myself with other people, there seems to be the emergance of a more joyful spirit.  I can take myself more lightly, while being more focused on those  I am with.  The result is more freedom to just enjoy relating to others.  The result seems to be joy, something that I always wondered about in my walk with God.  Jesus promised us joy.  “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:11)

So men, take heart.  No matter how dark you might think your inner life may be, you can be for Jesus, “a pleasant place of shelter.”  In other words, Jesus will not adandon you.  He has come to take up residence in the deepest part of your being.  He sees the good, the bad and the ugly.  It is his love for you, in those deepest parts of your soul, that will persuade you to open up the door to those places within and let his love bring healing.  This was part of Paul’s prayer when he prayed that we might have power, “together with all the saints, to grasp how wide, and long and high and deep is the love of Christ” (Eph 3:18).  This love abides in your deepest soul.  It forms a “pleasant place of shelter” for Jesus.  So don’t be afraid of the darkness within.  Jesus is already there.

As some of you know who read the posts on this blog, I am a Lutheran Pastor.  I have been at it for 40 years.  One of my great joy within the Lutheran Church these days is the research that Finnish theologians have been engaged in as they present new insights into  the theology of Martin Luther.  The “Mannermaa school” of Finnish theology under the leadership of Tuomo Mannnermaa has created a lot of interest in rethinking how we have interpreted Luther.  For example, Mannermaa maintains that love, not “faith alone” is the actual key to understanding Luther’s entire theology. “Faith without love remains an abstract principle principle in Luther’s thinking.” 

I say all this to introduce a pharse from Luther from Mannermaa’s book, “Two kinds of love: Martin Luther’s religious world.”  Listen to thes words from Luther. “Therefore sinners are beautiful because they are loved; they are not loved because they are beautiful.”  What does this have to do with men and their spiritual life.  A great deal.  God love according to Luther, “does not find but creates that which is lovable to it, it is not determined by the attributes of its object.”  In other words, God loves each of us in our sinful mess, just as we are.  We can do nothing.  We can only receive this love.  We can do nothing to clean ourselves up.  Rather the love of God does the cleaning up for us.  Luther declares, “This is the love of the cross, born of the cross, which turns in the dirction where it does not find good which it may enjoy, but where it may confer good upon the bad and needy person.”  Wow, isn’t that great. 

Men, there is, of course, much that we need to do in cooperating with the grace of God in our lives.  We need to practice the spiritual disciplines, we need to be servants in a dying work, we need to be spiritual leaders in our families, etc.  But prior to all this and more then what we do, we need to receive the love of God into the inner recesses of our hearts.  What a great thought.  I am beautiful in God’s sight, because I have received his love.  Yes, men you are beautiful.  Just sit there, ponder this thought and simply receive it.  Once a man trully realizes that God wants to be active in his life, no matter how messy it might seem, something happens to brakes the hold of shame and guilt that a man harbors in his heart.  It is like the light goes on and he can see.  It is like a veil is lifted

Listen to these words from the Message.  “Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are — face-to-face!  They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone.  And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete.  We’re free of it!  All of us!  Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face.  And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him’ (II Cor. 3:16-18)  There you have it.  As we turn to Jesus, His Spirit at work in our hearts makes us beautiful.  Don’t try to figure it out.  Just let it happen.

Pat Morley who founded “Man in the Mirror” has written many books to help men find meaning and purpose in life.  In his book “Pastoring Men” he makes this intriguing statement concerning men.  “Most men only know enough about God to be disappointed with Him.”  What do you think of such a statement?  Is this true for you?  Do you know other men in church or on the margins of the church who would express these same sentiments?  My sense is that a lot of men would say they are disappointed in God, but are not willing to share this secret, that has been held for years in their hearts. My question is – why would this be true?  I have a three observations regarding his statement.  

These two observations are my own.  So they can certainly be challenged.  First, I wonder if a lot of church men have merely a “head knowledge” of God.  A man can know through reasoning that God loves him.  But that will not convince him that he is OK in God’s sight.  Men are filled with shame-based guilt that comes from not being able to measure up to a preconceived standard.  This standard  drives men to prove they are worthy of God’s love.  It simply cannot be done.  After a time men will begin to see God as demanding to much of them.  Again, I say to men, we have to learn to “receive” God’s love for us.  It is the Good News – something that is too good to be true.  We don’t  have to prove anything to God or qualify for his love by our performance.  He simple lives us for who we are.  We are in the words of David Benner “beloved sinners.”

The second observation is simply “spiritual laziness” that is induced by a resignation brought about by having tried to measure up, then failing, which in turn produces a sense of failure.  So the thought is “What is the use, I can’t change who I am.  I will just go into coast and function outwardly as a “niece” Christian guy.  I will do my “duty” as best I can at home and church.”  In the work place the battle has already been lost.  In cases such as this, God is seen as upholding a standard that can never be reach.  While in one sense this is true, the good news is that God does not expect us to keep the rules on our own.  We need his Spirit to motivate, change and empower us.  We have to come to the point of admitting our weakness ( 12 steps – my life is unmanageable).  For when we are weak, then in God we can be strong.  Take heart from Jesus words to Paul, “My grace is enough; It’s al you need.  My strength comes into its own in your weakness” (II Cor 12:8 – The Message)

My third observation is wondering if men come to this point because we have a hard time rightly processing our “pain.”  Let’s face it, men.  Life will be hard.  There will be the dark and lonely times of pain, when we will try to endure the pain on our own.  Jesus says to us, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world” ( John 16:33).  A man can easily blame God for his pain, when the pain is meant to bring him to God for strength.  We might not get the answers we want to the pain we are enduring.  But God will take our pain and the situation we are in, and teach us whole new ways to respond.  “At the time, discipline isn’t much fun.  It always feels like it’s going against the grain.  Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in thier relationship with God’  (Heb 12: 11 – The Message)

I have been preparing a sermon for this Sunday based on Col 1:15-20.  This is one of the best descriptions and summaries of Jesus to be found in the New Testament.  Some think that Paul borrowed an early Christian hymn to express these wonderful words about Jesus.  This text is difficult to preach on because they are so packed with meaning and significance.  So I have decided to use power point to introduce each phrase of this hymn, make a brief remark, and then ask the congregation to just sit and reflect on each of these phrases.  I am going to encourage them to let the Word of God speak to them in the context of their everyday life.

In this post I would like to make two observations that I have been thinking about as I meditate on this wonderful text.  The first is the beauty of Jesus.  Thinking about the beauty of God and more specifically the beauty of Jesus is not an easy concept for me.  I have never been encouraged or challenged to look at the beauty of God.  But as I have worked with this text, I have come to a small measure of appreciation for the beauty of Jesus.  Beauty observes Eugene Peterson, “is evident and witness to the inherent wholeness and goodness of who God is and the way God works…The distinctive thing about beauty is that it reveals…the depth of what is just beneath the surface, and connects the remote with the present” 

Simply meditating on these words, without have to understand or figure out all of what is implied, only stretches my imagination and helps me to see how awesome is the Lordship of Jesus.  You can’t put it into words.  You have to just take it in and let the reality of the revelation do the work in your heart.  Men, if you have not considered the beauty of Jesus, I encourage you to use this text and just let these words sink into your soul.  I assure you that you will be caught up in the greatness and majesty of our God. You will in some measure be able, “to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” (Ps 27:4)

The second point from this text that I have been impressed with are the words of verse 17.  “Jesus holds all things together.  The message says, “He himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”  I guess for me I need this word, for myself personally and as I contemplate the condition of our culture.  I need Jesus to hold it together for me.  This means a daily humbling of myself, recognizing my total dependance on him.  When I have no idea of how it is going to work out, He will hold it together for me.  Culturally I place my hope in the kingdom of God, knowing the Lord Jesus Christ will hold it all together.  Our culture may collapse, but what is lasting will endure and hold together, because Christ is at the center.  So men, put your trust in the one who hold it together for you.

Again I am quoting from Wes Yoder’s “Bond of Brothers.”  I agree with Kenny Luck, who is quoted on the jacket of the book: “He says things in this book I have never heard anyone say about men and, more to the point, about me!”  Yoder maintains that often when a man is silent, he is fearful of revealing thethings that are most important in his life.  Often this can be traced to the silence of our fathers, in which case the silence is perpetuated from father to son.  Yoder believes that, “Men feel something most of us cannot describe.  It is a sense of being responsible for something we cannot control, for something we do not know.”  This is the manifestation of a “limping man.”  “We suspect,” observes Yoder, “our fathers knew something they could have told us but did not.  Whatever it was they did not tell us, we wish they had.  We see their limp, and we feel ours.”

I know this is very true of my relationship with my father.  I tried, I hope, in an honorable manner to have my father share some of his heart with me.  I wanted to know some of the secrets that were locked in his heart, so that I could understand myself better as a man.  But for some reason, my father was not able to brake his silence.  It well could have been that Yoder was describing my dad when he says, “Sometimes the loudest expression of a man’s longings is his silence, and it is that silence in generations of men that turns the world, for many, into an orphanage.”  It has taken me many years to come to peace with the simple fact that I will always be “Albert’s one and only son.”  My father was a classic expression of a silent man.  But I learned to love him and to accept that fact that I would never know his story.

So how do men break the silence.  We need a group of trusted friends, who will listen to the story of our lives.  Listen to the advise of Yoder.  “Uncover what a man is not talking about and you may just discover what he cares about most…..men aren’t talking much about things that matter, and our silence is quite disturbing.  But what you need to know about men is that they are more than willing to talk when they have the respect of those who are willing  to listen, provided the topic isn’t one more thing they really don’t care about.”  It is in the trusted circle of other men, who are braking their silence, that you will find support to tell you story of pain and lose, in  not knowing your father’s story. 

In the circle of trust, men are able to find affirmation and respect for being uniquely male.  Their story telling will be different from their wives and the other women in their lives.  As a matter of fact, men have learned to be silent because deep within they sense that a woman cannot share the pain of not being “fathered.”  But in the group of brothers, we are able to affirm each other, the way home to our heavenly Father, where our true affirmation is found.  It is in the company of other brothers that a man “will find his voice.”  Their in his presence we are able to find healing as his love and care fills in the gaps of our “lost stories” with our fathers.  The loving light of his presence brings healing to those dark and hidden places in our souls,  that we on our own are afraid to uncover.  To recover our true masculine soul, we must go to those places of pain and find healing in our Father’s  presence. I close with one  more quote from Yoder.  He quotes Ps. 18:35, “‘Your gentleness made me great.’  These five words buried in the Psalms provide a brilliant meditation for men.”  In a trusted circle of men this can be applied first of all to our heavenly Father and then to trusted male friends, as we tell our stories to regain our authentic male voice.