Category: Wildman Journey (Page 55 of 86)

Dads recently celebrated Father’s Day.  Father’s Day,however,  has lost some of its punch because culture is unsure about “manliness.”  It’s tough being a dad when our manhood is under attack.   Jonathan Last in an article about fatherhood, observed, “….fatherhood is the wellspring of a quality critically important to our culture: manliness”.   One characteristic that unifies the various expressions of manliness is “chivalry,” seen as an act of sacrifice against one’s interest, even risking life itself.  Last suggests, “that manliness is chivalry, and chivalry is the impulse to seek honor by protecting the weak and the innocent.  What you have described is the essence of fatherhood. …Fatherhood isn’t just manliness.  It’s the purest form of the good side of manliness.” I agree!

Fatherhood has suffered because of the poor modeling of manliness in our culture.  Dads living chivalrously can help restore a positive image of manliness.  Dad, you can be a hero. When I was raising three children I thought of my role as being committed and responsible before the Lord, not necessarily chivalrous. The words  of Malachi 4:5-6 were always motivation for me.  “See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes.  He will turn to hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.”  Turning our hearts to our children, giving them our full attention is chivalrous.  Here’s some suggestions in living out chivalry with your kids.

First, Dad is a servant to his family.  Jesus said, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all” (Mark 10:44).  This means that our interest, desires and preferences are secondary to our wife and children.  It was difficult for me at times to surrender my ego needs for the sake of my family.  Manly chivalry is displayed when we sacrifice for our family.

Secondly, Dad is the leader of the family.  He leads his family by example; he initiates.  He is not silent or passive.  Our wives and children appreciate a consistent, faithful walk with the Lord, through the good and bad times.  Dad is practicing chivalry when he is willing to stand up for what is right and points the way consistently by his example.   He sets the spiritual tone for the family by his presence.  When I was not always consistent or present,  I would have to humble myself before my family, admitting that I was being a poor example.

Thirdly, Dad is the protector of his family.  We hear little about spiritually protecting our children.  Men, I can’t tell you how important your heart-felt prayer for your family are in the spiritual realm.  Your family is under attack.  Your prayers are vital for building the walls of spiritual protection for your family.  Picture ministering angels fighting for your family.   Don’t give up crying out to God.  Ask for discernment on how to fight spiritually for your family.

Fourthly Dad is the priest of his family.  Men, let my say with great conviction – “no one can take your place as father”.  Your children have only one father – YOU.  “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them.  Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master” (Eph 6:4 – Message).  Your family is a “domestic” church.  You are ordained as priest.  What you model in word and deed has lasting impact on your kids.  Please take this to heart.  God will bless your “leaning” into this role.

Back in 2015, Judy and I attended a memorial service for “Skee” (Lloyd) Green.  Skee had been married to Judy’s cousin, Nancy.  In his early 70’s, he had gotten involved with the church I was pastoring in Remer, MN … even though he had not been active in a faith community up to that point.  Skee started attending every Sunday and came to know the Lord.  It was a joy to watch him grow in his relationship with Jesus.  He was soft-spoken but sincere, so I know that when he talked about his growing faith, it was real.  He was one of my biggest encouragements.

Skee was a fix-it guy.  People would bring him broken parts from mechanical devices of every sort. His specialty was welding and metalforming, although people thought he could fix almost anything.  But Skee would say the one thing he couldn’t fix was “a broken heart.”  When I heard that, I knew I had to write about the broken hearts of men.  A significant part of my journey has been healing my own broken heart – and because I watched my own father die of a broken heart, I feel called to be involved in the healing of men’s hearts, .

Men tend to be fixers. But when it comes to matters of the heart, we cannot find a fix.  Why?  Jeremiah helps us understand: “The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out … [But God] gets to the heart of the human.  I get to the root of things.  I treat them as they really are, and not as they pretend to be” (Jer. 17:9-10 – Message).  Our failings and shortcomings separate us from God, others, and ourselves. This brings real pain.  We cannot mend the fragmentation. We pretend to be competent, while living with a broken heart.  We do a lot of pretending to dull the pain.

Only God can fix or heal a broken heart.  The Psalmist tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).  “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Ps. 147:3). What God looks for is the surrender (or the sacrifice) of a broken heart. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Ps. 51:17).  We sacrifice by giving God all the pieces of our broken hearts, trusting him to put them all back together.

Of course, before God can fix a broken heart, we need to first see the problem.  It’s painful, but we have to face reality.  The Psalmist talks of “groaning all day long.”  But then he could say, “I acknowledged my sin to you, and did not cover up my iniquity.  I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’ – and you forgave the guilt of my sin” (Ps. 32:5).  He depended on God’s mercy: “Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice.  Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy” (Ps. 130:1-2).

Open your heart to the Lord.  Like the Psalmist, be honest: “… I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me” (Ps. 51:3).   He was open as well about his pain: “… My spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed” (Ps. 143:4).  I have found the Jesus Prayer (based on Mark 10:47) helpful as I walk with the Lord in my own process toward healing and wholeness: “Jesus, Son of God, be merciful to me a sinner.”  It is a daily prayer on my own journey of continual transformation (II Cor. 3:17-18; John 3:29-30).

David Brooks, the New York Times writer (yes, the Times), describes his spiritual journey in his new book, “The Road to Character.”  He wrote “to save my own soul,” realizing at midlife that he’d spent too much time cultivating what he called “the resume virtues”- impressive accomplishments – and too little on “the eulogy virtues”-  character strengths. He points out how careers leave many inarticulate in cultivating the inner life, leaving the deepest parts of ourselves unexplored and unstructured because we have lost our moral vocabulary.  It is easy for  us to slip into “a self-satisfied moral mediocrity.” Brooks talks about sin as the tendency to “get our loves out of order.”  He is really articulating aspects of the “wild man journey.”   To put it bluntly – we need to be “soulful men,”  living in a spiritual wasteland.

I profited much from  his discussion of “the Crooked Timber” tradition, which emphasizes our brokenness, with its awareness of and the confrontation with sin. “It was a tradition,” writes Brooks, “that demanded humility in the face of our own limitations….a tradition that held that each of us had the power to confront our own weaknesses, tackle our own sins, and that in the course of this confrontation with ourselves we build character.”  “No external conflict is as consequential,” observes Brooks, “as the inner campaign against our deficiencies.”  In other words, we are in a fight for our souls.

I’m quoting Brooks a lot; but it is good stuff.  Here is more from Brooks. “You have to surrender to something outside yourself to gain strength within yourself.  You have to conquer your desire to get what you crave.  Success leads to the greater failure, which is pride.  Failure leads to the greater success, which is humility and learning.  In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself.  In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself.”  Brooks sounds like a spiritual director.

Now hear what  Jesus had to say  (Matt. 16:24-26  The Message).  “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead.  You’re not in the driver’s seat, I am.  Don’t run from suffering; embrace it.  Follow me and I’ll show you how.  Self-help is no help at all.  Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to find yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose your self?  What could you ever trade our soul for?”  The key to Brooks’ advice is to get out of the driver’s seat and surrender to Jesus.

Men,  join me in the fellowship of “The Crooked Timber.”  Any expression of “a self-satisfied moral mediocrity” will not stand the anti-Christian headwinds that are coming. “Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made (Kant).”  In this fellowship we will fight for the souls of our brothers.   Paul said, “For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature…what a wretched man I am.  Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Rom 7:18 & 24).  But then he could say, “Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Rom 7:25).

Brooks touches a real nerve in many of us.  We need to daily face our flawed, broken lives.  Jesus tells us, “Do you want to stand out?  Then step down.  Be a servant.  If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked  out of you.  But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty” (Matt 23:11-12 – Message).  Men who are part of “the Crooked Timber” fellowship are like AA guys – in their brokenness they know they need God.

Russell Moore suggests that we consider America not in a “Post-Christian” era, but rather as having been a “Pre-Christian” nation all along.  That thought might surprise some of you men. He refers to Soren Kierkegaard’s observation  that a nominal, civil form of Christianity is the greatest apostasy, in which pagans live thinking they are Christian.  He called this cultural expression – “Christiandom.”  Kierkegaard argued that the illusion that we are Christians in a Christian nation can be so persistent that, “it looks indeed as if introducing Christianity amounts to taking Christianity away.”  But this is what must happen for the illusion to be debunked.

Ezekiel prophesied about whitewashed walls falling. “I will tear down the wall you have covered with whitewash and will level it to the ground so that its foundations will be laid bare” (Ezk 13:14).  Could the whitewashed wall of “Christiandom” be falling?  Isaiah prophesied a sudden collapse of the walls. “Because you have rejected this message, relied on oppression and depended on deceit, this sin will become for you like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly, in an instant” (Is.30:12).  Could it be that we will see a collapse of “Christiandom,” during which true Christianity will thrive under persecution. “The Book of Acts,” notes Moore, “like the Gospels before it, shows us that Christianity thrives when it is, as Kierkegaard put it, a sign of contradiction.”

I write today to warn men of the collapse of nominal civil religion (Christiandom). The latest Pew survey makes this clear. The days of easy believism are over. Yes, we are going to have to resist the cultural headwinds in the days to come.  But my concern for myself and men who are committed to Jesus is that we do not become rigid, unloving and inflexible in our disposition.  Peter writing to Christian exiles exhorting them to, “be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble” (I Peter 3:8).  Later he reminds them, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have.  But do this with gentleness and respect” (I Peter 3:15).  It is how we resist that is vital.

Willpower, determination and effort alone will not help us confront the  Christ-denying, cultural headwinds that are coming.  Willfulness is a focus on how we are doing, not what God is doing through us.  It breeds a grasping, clutching spirit, making us rigid and intolerant.  We will be more against then for. There is little evidence of compassion and love.  Let me stress this point – what will be needed are hearts that have been softened by  surrendering to the love of God.  I pray that God will raise up a whole new generation of men, who have meet God in vulnerability and surrender, thus having hearts softened by the love of God.  These will be men who are both “tough and tender,” having strength to stand, but also  able to act with humility and compassion.

Jesus is our example.  He was both compassionate and yet strong in opposing, especially  the “religious spirit” of his day.  Open your heart to Jesus and keep your spiritual gaze on him.  Learn from Jesus how to live freely and lightly.  “Are you tired?  Worn out?  Burned out on religion?  Come to me.  Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” ( Matt 11:28-9 – Message)

Did you know that the list of approved activities for the Boy Scouts of America makes it clear that water gun fights are not allowed because “pointing a firearm” at someone – even a “simulated” firearm is not “kind.” The BSA shooting manual clarifies, “For water balloons, use small, biodegradable balloons and fill them no larger than a ping pong ball … water guns and rubber guns must only be used to shoot at targets, and eye protection must be worn”.   By these standards, I have to confess that I must be guilty of misbehaving, because I have had both water gun fights and water balloon fights (with much larger balloons) with two of my grandsons.  But I must also admit that we had great fun!

For me, this BSA policy is example of the feminizing of the male culture. Christina Goff-Sommers in her 2001 book The War Against Boys argues that our public schools are organized to obliterate all that is masculine and establish femininity as the norm.  Boys are a “frowned-upon presence” in schools that have forgotten a simple truth: “the energy, competitiveness, and corporal daring of normal, decent males is responsible for much of what is right in the world.”  Yes, boys need guidance in their testosterone-driven activity, but they need the freedom to be boys.  Sommers observes that boys are “routinely regarded as protosexists, potential harassers and perpetrators of gender inequity, boys live under a cloud of censure.”  Young boys are being taught to disrespect masculinity and suppress it in themselves.  Today is not a good day to be a boy in America.

I, for one, grieve this. I agree that boys need to be taught the more feminine traits of kindness, sensitivity, gentleness and nurture, but they also need to learn to express genuine male instincts in a constructive manner so that they can grow to be both sensitive and strong in their God-given male energy. This is a task primarily for fathers, grandfathers, and other male models.  Personally, I have traveled down a long, winding road in a sincere attempt to integrate my masculine soul with the complementary balance of the feminine.   I am still a “broken” man seeking further healing for my soul in a culture that offers little support.  So, I have committed the last  part of my journey here below to help younger men find, nurture, and live out of their true masculine soul.

As I write this I weep, knowing the many struggles men face in our culture.  As I grew up, I had an absentee father and a dominating mother as my role models.  I had very little nurture in the ways of God as a teenager. As a feeling, intuitive young man, I always felt like a square peg that could never fit into the round masculine hole.  I have battled with deep insecurities, doubts, failures, and disappointments.  Today as I look back at how God has integrated my masculine soul, I am full of praise and thanksgiving for his grace and mercy to me.

My advice for nurturing your male soul:  First, reject the false narrative of our culture regarding maleness, and embrace your unique masculinity as a man created in the image of God. Second, study, reflect on, and incorporate the character of Jesus as your model for maleness. Third, allow Scripture to form your worldview. I must warn you again, the gender wars will intensify. Fourth, open your soul to receive healing for your wounds, especially the father wounds. Fifth, find and relate to men of godly character.  Breathe in their life.  And meet regularly with a male spiritual mentor.

In Isaiah 50:10-11 we read,”Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.  But now, all of you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze.  This is what you shall receive from my hand: you will lie down in torment.”  I reference this passage because in the days to come godly men will be found building their own fires, providing them torches, to navigate through the spiritual confusion and uncertainty that is descending on our culture. But it will not be enough.

We are experiencing in our culture not just a moral decline, but what Rod Dreher calls a “cosmological shift.”  – “the idea that people are the sum of their desires and that marriage has no intrinsic purpose or definition – amount to a total shift in the way our culture looks at human persons.”  I do not see the “gay marriage issue” as a hot bottom issue to argue about, but rather see it as part of a culminating slide of our society into moral and spiritual uncertainty.  We have lost the cultural battle. Now we need to “prepare a culture of resistance for the church.” Some call it the beginning of a new “dark age.”  Isaiah 59:10 describes it well. “Like the blind we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes.  At midnight we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong, we are like the dead.”

Men will be tempted to build their own fires, by embracing the  familiar and comfortable, especially in times of uncertainty and confusion.  Men will fearfully avoid giving up their ego strength, investing in their particular spiritual improvement projects.  This kind of cultural spirituality will not prevail.  Remember we are moving into a Post-Christian Era in our nation.  Men of God we will have to learn to act and behave differently.  “The Male narrative” in the past (patriarchy) has been that men need to be strong and in control.  But not today.  Generally speaking, men are descending from their privileged position in culture, while women are ascending.

Men, I exhort you not to “build” a fire but rather “tend” the fire that is already within you.  John promised that Jesus would baptize us with the Holy Spirit and fire.  Jesus, “will ignite the kingdom life within you, a fire within you, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out.  He’s going to clean house – make a clean sweep of your lives.  He’ll place everything true in its proper place before God; everything false he’ll put out with the trash to be burned” (Luke 3:17-18  – Message).  God’s fire brings a “spiritual house cleaning.” So don’t dampen “the fire of the Spirit” (I Thess. 5:19) but rather “fan into flame the gift of God” (II Tim 1:6). Tend the fire within you and let God do his work.

Here’s some advise on tending the fire.  First and foremost, cultivate the awareness of the presence of the Spirit within you.  Do this by gazing upon the Lord Jesus.  Keep your focus on him.   Second, trust the fire  of the Spirit within you, irregardless of what you experience or your circumstances.  It will not die out. Thirdly, be vigilant with your soul.  Confess and repent of that which would dampen the fire.  Fourthly, commit to walk with other men whose hearts are ignited by the fire. Fifthly, embrace the light given you for each step of the journey. You will be an overcomer, since “God is a consuming fire” (Heb. 12:29).

In our men’s Bible study at church we were recently studying the foot washing incident (John 13:1-17) in the life of Jesus with his disciples. Since this was their last night together, Jesus wanted to make a lasting impact on his disciples, so he washes their feet.  He was able to do such a lowly act  because we read  in verses 3-4, “Jesus knew that the Father, had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God.”  He was secure in who he was.  Also the implication of verse 1 is that in washing feet he was showing love for his disciples.  Men, the more secure we are in Christ, the more likely we have the heart of a servant.  Servanthood will be the mark of a man of God in the days to come.

Peter strongly objects to having his master do the work of a lowly slave, “You’re not going to wash my feet – ever” (v 8 – Message).  While honoring Jesus, Peter was lacking the humility needed to be a  follower of Jesus. Peter expresses a willfulness found in pride – not being able to receive. Can you imagine how humbling it was for Peter to have the Son of God wash his feet.  How would you have responded? He had to learn to humbly receive from God.  Men, we all have to come to the place where we can humbly receive from God in all of our brokenness. Our effort in trying to make ourselves presentable is to no avail.  It is all grace.  Just sit there and receive like Peter.  It is hard. But it will change you as a man.  It takes a humble spirit to receive God’s unconditional love.

Peter had to learn this lesson before he could lead.  Jesus tells his disciples, “I’ve laid a pattern for you.” (v 14 – Message).  If Jesus, who is their teacher and Lord  washes their feet, then the disciples ought to humbly do the same.  Jesus is helping them see the vital aspect of servanthood; not just in word but also in deed.   Jesus reminds Peter, “A servant is not ranked above his master; an employee doesn’t give orders to the employer.  If you understand what I’m telling you, act like it – and live a blessed life” (v 16-7 – Message).  Later in his First Letter, Peter was probably reflecting on this incident when he tells us, “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because ‘God opposes the proud, but give grace to the humble'” ( I Peter 5:5).  Then we are told to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God that we might be lifted up.

Peter was learning what humble submission meant.  It would help him to return to Jesus after his miserable failure in denying his Lord.  I too, fail my Lord.  I have to admit with Paul,”For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing” (Rom 7:19).  I am a spiritual work in progress.  But like Peter I also am learning to trust the love of Jesus for me.  Jesus has not literally washed my feet, but I have learned to receive God’s love for me in all my shame and vulnerability.  Men, my testimony to you is this – real freedom from my sinful self, comes when I learn to humbly submit to Jesus and receive his love for me.

I was alerted to the word “microaggresion” by Eric Metaxas over at “Breakpoint.”  He writes, “If you’ve never heard the term “mircoaggresion” consider yourself fortunate.  But you’re going to need to be familiar with the concept because it lies at the heart of the explosion of political correctness in the public square.”  In the 70’s the term was used mostly  in race relations.  But now it has cross over into the larger culture, referring to perceived slights by any “socially marginalized group,”  which has grown to include women and sexual minorities as well. Microaggresion is being used to silent Christians in matters of sexual ethics.  Much as been made of New York Times columnist Frank Bruni, who wrote that it is not enough that gays and lesbians are legally protected from actual discrimination, but that we need to eliminate any form of disapproval.

Men, we all need to be fully aware of how rapidly our religious freedom and liberty is be eroded.  The ultimate goal would be to silence the voice of  committed Christians, who believe the very foundations of our culture are at stake, if gay marriage becomes the norm in our nation.  Honest dialogue or descent is being called into question.  I write with a passion to reach younger men.   Your simple witness as a committed husband and father can be a vital witness.  Richard Rohr said it well: “A man who is secure  in his gender identity, will have a healthy masculine gender identity as well as the balance of the complementary feminine.”  So, as Charles Colson, so famously asked, “How Shall We Then Live?”

Here are a few suggestions.  First, come to a clear, firm and confident interpretation of Scripture on the “gay” issue.  For me, it starts with Scripture.  I cannot justify the gay lifestyle with Scripture.  So come to your own conviction.  There are a variety of view among Christian folks.  Secondly, do what you need to do, to become secure in your own sexuality.  That might mean a journey inward to receive inner healing for your masculine soul.  Many men cannot think clearly on this issue, while responding in  love towards  opponents because of their own sexual insecurities.  Thirdly, determine in your heart to act lovingly to all who do not agree with you.  There is no greater “black mark” in the gender wars for Christians, then when we act without compassion towards those in the gay lifestyle.

Fourthly, as “the Gender Wars” descend upon us, I beg you, don’t flee into some supposedly safe place, emotionally and spiritually. This will only produce a  man who is passive, silent, and dulled into become a sickly, weak man.  We desperately need examples of  healthy maleness.  What is needed more then ever are men who live ordinary lives with their families, in their community and churches, and at work, modeling the life style of a man who in his heart is both a “lion” and  a “lamb.”  We read in Revelation 5 that John saw Jesus as “lamb, looking as if it has been slain” (6).  He was also told to look at, “The Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David (who) has triumphed” (5).  What is needed are men who can be both “the lion” and “the lamb.”  This comes as men surrender to the Lordship of Jesus.

One final thought.  We read of the lamb again in  Rev. 12:11, “They triumphed over him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.”  Men let us see ourselves of followers of the lamb, embracing the “crucified life.”

“Man up” to me means taking responsibility for my actions, words and attitude. But at times I want to run from my responsibility in my most important relationship, that is, with my wife. Recently, I had to admit to myself that I was “pushing my wife away” emotionally.  I did not want to “man up.” I realize that part of  becoming one flesh with my wife, means I carry the awareness of her  in the deepest part of my inner life.  Scripture exhorts husbands, “to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph 6:28).   Since I am an “embodied soul” my wife’s presence resides within me.   But there are times when I want to push her out of that inner space.  Can any men relate to this “pushing away.”  So what did I do?

Well, if I am to love my wife as my own body, I have to admit, embrace and deal with what is going on emotionally regarding my wife. It was harmful. I am reminded, “”No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it” (Eph. 5:29 – Message). My wife is a wonderful helpmate. But there are times I just want to push her away.  I know it is wrong, but I still do it.  Why?  Obviously it is because I am reacting to her. So I had to “man up” and tell my wife what was going on in my heart, in that  inner space where she abides, since we are “one flesh.” Jesus tells me, “they are no longer two, but one flesh” (Matt 19:6).  No being honest, while pushing her away puts real strain on that “oneness.”

My pushing her away, confuses my wife.  She wonders what she has done wrong.  “Why is he seem so distant and out of reach.” she wonders .  My withdrawal cause her to act in kind.  Soon there is an emotional gap between us.  A wife can become insecure, causing her to respond inappropriately. The gap grows, becoming deeper and wider, if it is not repaired.  This is when I have to “man up.”  I need to reach out across the gap, by humbling myself and telling my wife what going on in my soul.

I am to love my wife the way Jesus loved the church, Listen to how the Message puts it (Eph 5:25-28). “Husbands, go all out in your love for our wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting.  Christ’s love makes the church whole.  His words evoke her beauty.  Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk radiant with holiness.  And that is how husbands ought to love their wives.  They’re really doing themselves a favor – since they’re already ‘one’ in marriage.”  Wow!  These words are convicting to me.  Words like “go all out” and “giving.”  My words should invoke the beauty I see in my wife.  This includes more than physical beauty.  All I do and say should be done with the intent of bringing the best out of my wife.  My love is meant to promote wholeness and holiness in “my bride.”

This is a tall order that husbands can never fullfill.  It is meant to keep us humble and totally dependent on the Lord. Remember  we do ourselves a favor in loving our wives since we are “one” in marriage.  We are told, “Husbands provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing” (Eph 5:27 – Message).  I am learning to “cherish” my wife, by caring for her.

Michael Card was in our church recently. Michael’s  music has a spiritual depth that causes the listener to  reflect on the spiritual journey.  Card is also a very good bible teacher.  While in our church in Hackensack, Mn., he conducted a bible conference on the  gospel of John.  But what impressed me most about Michael Card was his character.  He is a genuine humble man, who is able personally to connect with ordinary people. A phrase he used as stuck with me.  For a deeply held conviction, he would say, “for that I can take a bullet.”  For what would you take a bullet?  I would for the following.

First and foremost is a high view of Scripture.  Simply put –  Scripture is God’s inspired Word to us, our final authority in matters of  faith and practice.  I have never wavered in this commitment. Early in my walk with God I memorized II Tim. 3: 16-17, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”  Men, I encourage you to call into question any teaching in the church that does see Scripture as the final authority.  Let Scripture be your guide, light and compass as you navigate “the spiritual minefields” of our culture.

Secondly, the Triune  God of grace.  God has chosen to reveal himself as three persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, living in perfect harmony and love.  I like to visualize the activity of the Trinity as coming from the Father, through the Son, by the presence of the Holy Spirit.  God is One God, yet has expressed himself in a community of three equal persons.  C.S. Lewis calls it “The Great Dance.”  Men, we are invited to participate in this dance.  For me this makes the Trinity not a doctrine but a relational reality.  I have always told folks, “don’t mess with the Trinity and you will be OK in your view of God.”  Remember you are invited into the great dance.

Thirdly, the message of the cross.  Early in my ministry I took to heart the word of Paul, “For the message of the cross, is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (I Cor 1:18).  There is power in the message of the cross.  I have never tired of pointing people to the foot of the cross.  At the cross our sins are forgiven and we find deliverance and healing for our souls. Men, I simply say, “Bring your burdens to the cross and leave them there.”  I often quote I Peter 2:24, “He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; ‘by his wounds you have been healed.'”

Finally, the beautiful summary of our faith in the words of the Apostles’ Creed.  As a former Lutheran Pastor, I would lead the people weekly  in confessing  our faith by reciting the Apostles’ Creed.  We would alternate with the Nicene Creed. Yes, it could become rote. But I would often remind the congregation that in the creed we have expressed in three articles relating to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, a concise expression of our faith.  You can’t go wrong if this is what you really believe about the revelation of God.  I encourage you to memorize the Apostles’ Creed.  I would take a bullet for the Apostles’ Creed – yes, every word.  The early church fought for those words.