Category: Wildman Journey (Page 35 of 85)

We read in Jeremiah 20:11, “But the Lord is with me like a mighty warrior; so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail. They will fail and be thoroughly disgraced; their dishonor will never be forgotten.”  In our gender confused society, talk of men as warriors is suspect. Yet God is often referred to as a warrior.   The Psalmist declares,  “With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down out enemies” (Ps 60:12).   Men, God is a warrior who will fight for us.

The following quote from Dorothy Sayers  is a reminder of Jesus being a  mighty warrior, The Lion of Judah. “The people who hanged Christ never, to do them justice, accused Him of being a bore – on the contrary; they thought Him too dynamic to be safe.  It has been left for later generations to muffle up that shattering personality and surround Him with an atmosphere of tedium. We have very efficiently pared the claws of the Lion of Judah, certified Him ‘meek and mild,’ and recommended Him as a fitting household pet for pale curates and pious old ladies”

In a day when political correctness causes men to be measured in their responses to the “hot button” issues  generated by third wave feminists, who have no regard for a strong masculine response, it is good to reminded of Jesus not only being the Lion of Judah, but  also the lamb of God.  In this description we see Jesus as both strong and tender.  In Revelation 5:1-6 we have the reassuring vision of Jesus having authority to open a scroll symbolizing his lordship in history.  We read, “Then one of the elders said to me, ‘Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed.  He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals (5).”

Then John sees a Lamb, who had been slain, taking, “the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne (7).”  Those around the throne sang, “You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe an language and people and nation.  You made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth (10).”  As John looked, he saw a great multitude, singing in a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise (Rev 5:12).

Remember it is Jesus who will fight the battle for us.  From the Message we read, “Stay alert.  This is hazardous work I’m assigning you.  You’re going to be like sheep running through a wolf pack, so don’t call attention to yourselves.”  (Matt 10:16).  In such a divided society as our, we need to  practice a subversive spirituality, knowing we are on the winning side.

Remember when the people of Israel were trapped at the Red Sea with Pharaoh’s army coming after them.  Moses reassured them, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Ex. 14:13).  God  is a mighty warrior who will fight for us.

In a recent interview, David Crowder talked about his newest album entitled, “I Know a Ghost.” “The story that I’ve told over and over from  these three records is pretty redundant,” noted Crowder. “It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re done, you can’t outrun God and you can’t outrun grace.”  I like the idea of not being able to outrun grace.  Crowder believes, “Those who follow Jesus can make a real impact by offering grace in spaces where grace is generally the last thing offered.”

As Judy and I go about building community in a Senior Apartment complex with such a wide array of folks, we pray for each other in our desire to practice the presence of Jesus with those we come to know.  We desire to be a “Christ-like fragrance” in our new relationships. “Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God” (II Cor. 2:13-14 NLT).  Being the fragrance of Christ is another way of  being an expression of God’s grace.  In all of our relationships we pray that there might be a scent of the aroma of Jesus so that others might be open to the love of God.

As men, we each have our sphere of influence in which God will help us forget about ourselves, while having a servant’s attitude toward others.  Men, we have a wonderful opportunity to be the salt and light of the gospel in dark places, where others live in suspicion and protective defensiveness, not wanting to risk being hurt and misunderstood.  Judy and I have no idea what will happen in our relationships, but we already have had chances to share with others in a soulful manner.  People don’t natural go there, even in familiar surroundings.

Remember you are also salt. “Let me tell you why you are here,” Jesus tells us. “You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth.  If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness?  You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage” (Matt. 5:13 – Message).  Our conversation and demeanor are to be seasoned with salt.  Don’t expect quick results.  Sometimes it takes years. You might be the only authentic witness in life of another.

We are also to be a light.  “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world.  God is not a secret to be kept.  We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill.  If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine!  Keep open house; be generous with your lives.  By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven” (Matt. 5:14-16 – Message).  Pray to be generous with those who come to know you.

Where does God want you to be salt, bringing the favor of the gospel as you spread the fragrance of the Lord?  Where does God want you to keep open house by being open and generous?  Remember others can not  out run the grace of God.

Reading the Message translation of II Cor. 12, Paul wrote that he was, “given the gift of a handicap” to keep him “in constant touch with [his] limitations” (v. 7).  The traditional translation is “a thorn in the flesh.” Paul begged to have it removed.  But God told him, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need.  My strength comes into its own in your weakness” (v. 8).  What Paul says next has been medicine for my soul at this new juncture of my  journey.

“Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen.  I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift.  It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness.  Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size……I just let Christ take over!  And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become” (v. 9-10).

Judy and I have been transitioning to a new living space in our senior apartment, getting acquainted with people both in our building, as well as in our church community (Good Shepherd Lutheran Free Church).  Judy has been navigating the adjustment better then yours truly.  I am honest in telling my bride, “I am above water, but I sense the miry depths below. I don’t want to sink.”  David prayed, “Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck.  I sink in the miry depths where there is no foothold……Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink.  Do not let the floodwaters engulf me or the depths swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me” (Ps. 69:1-2, 14, 15).  My wife is my inspiring encourager in keeping my eyes of Jesus.

Men we all have our handicaps or “thorns in the flesh.”  This transitioning period has exposed cracks in the relational foundations of my life story.  I can’t put it into words,  but newly emerging  implicit memories going back to my infant years, have brought up deep feelings of abandonment and insecurity.  At present, I know intellectually that my life is secure, but just below the surface I feel the “mire” of abandonment and the lack of basic trust.

I don’t like being affected by feelings of fear, vulnerability and insecurity.  Little did I realize the cracks that would be exposed during this transitional time in my life. I am learning to stand in my wounds, while holding them before the Lord.  Here is some of what I am learning from this humbling experience.  First, learning to accept  thankfully my “gift of a handicap.”  It keeps  me, “in constant touch with my limitations.”  I have had to confess the ugly sin of self-pity.

Secondly, I need to accept my handicaps,  by appreciating them as a gift.   The NIV reads, “boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses.”   It takes humility and vulnerability.   It’s difficult to share  my weaknesses with my wife.

Thirdly, realize that Christ’s strength enters  into my weakness.  I have no idea how that happens. It is the work of the Spirit in my foundations.

Fourthly, I accept Paul’s testimony, “the weaker I get the stronger I become.”  I know I can’t repair my foundations.  As Jesus repairs my foundations I become stronger.

In Romans 8 we learn how we share in the birth pangs of a pregnant creation. “All around us we observe a pregnant creation.  The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs.  But it’s not only around us; it’s within us.  The Spirit of God is arousing us within.  We’re also feeling the birth pangs.  These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance.  That’s is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother.  We are enlarged in the waiting” (Romans 8:22-24 – Message).  We all have experienced times when we want these inner  birth pangs to cease.

As a man I can only identify with birth pain as an analogy to my spiritual journey.  Judy and I are in the 4th quarter,  getting settled in among folks at a senior living complex in Brainerd. The move has brought me into one of those  “in-between times,” when I feel the pain of birth pangs. It often happens in the major transitions on the journey.  I want it to be over.  I don’t like my feeling of abandonment  The unknown, uncertainty and being out of control is not easy.  I would like to go back to the old familiar.  But I know I can’t.  My wife and I knew this move was God’s plan for us.  But I feel insecure.

Richard Rohr calls this a liminial space. It is a process of dying to the old so that the new can come forth.  Native American Indians called it a “crazy time.”  It is a time when we seem to be losing  our spiritual bearing. We can’t find true north.  Each of us have different reactions depending on our season of life and the unique of our spiritual journey.  This is the work of the Spirit bringing forth something new.  Our part is to surrender to the process.  Above all, it is a matter of keeping our eyes on Jesus, not becoming turned in on self.

Thomas Keating has observed, “Surrender to the unknown marks the great transition of the spiritual journey.  On the brink of each new breakthrough there is a crisis of trust and love.”  Can we trust the lord in the process knowing that God is loving us through the experience of birth pangs.  It will be painful.  You are being enlarged in the waiting.

My strong encouragement is that you have a soul mate, someone who will listen to your angst of being in one of these “in-between times.”  I know for me it has been my wife. I have been helped greatly, as she listens and helps clarify for me my struggle.  My advice, don’t go through the liminial space alone.

I agree with Stephen Smith when he says, “I have grown tired of people who think and believe that they know the answers to God’s secrets and mysteries.”  Don’t let anybody try to figure out what talking place in your soul.  You are experiencing birth pains.  This is God’s hidden work.   Smith quotes Mary Oliver: “Let me keep my distance always, from those who think they have answers.  Let me keep company always with those who say, ‘Look!’ and laugh in astonishment and bow their heads.”

I am learning to trust Jesus in a deeper way during this turbulent time.   I feel like the disciples who cried out to Jesus in the storm, “Lord, save us!  We’re going to drown” (Matt. 8:25).  I hear him say to me, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid” (Matt. 8:26). It’s a moment by moment walk because only He knows the outcome.

The Pew Research Center recently reported their findings on a important question? When asked the open-ended question about what brings the greatest meaning to their live, 69% of Americans said family.  Family had no close competitor nor a replacement, not even friends and community.  When asked “What is the most important source of meaning in your life?” – family was still number one.  “Regardless of how materialistic, politically divided, and atomistic our culture gets, ” noted Glenn Stanton, “family and faith still play very substantial roles in the human heart.”

With all the changes in social values and family trends, the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan made this important discovery. “There is very little evidence that the commitment of Americans to children, marriage and family life has eroded substantially in the past two decades.”  The researchers also noted, “compared to the 1970’s young Americans in the 1990’s were more committed to the importance of a good marriage and family life”  In reviewing the material on marriage and family, Dr. Stanton concluded, “It’s why there will always be a robust job market for those working to strengthen both of relational aspects [family and marriage] in people’s lives.  They are not only what people want, but what they need.”

We read in Psalms 68:5-6, “God in his holy dwelling is a father of the fatherless and a champion of widows.  God provides homes for those who are deserted.” The Psalmist is describing a heavenly father who cares for those who are without family. The essence of our being persons is that we are relational. We are designed and defined by our relationships.  All reality is relational, having been created by a personal, relational God.  Loneliness is proof of our relational nature.

Stanton make this important observation about our relationships.  “We must not forget that one of the most important aspects of being human is that we are made for others, and we cannot live in isolation…..the most important and meaningful places where people find these are with their family and with God….All other relationships and life-aspects orbit around these, and research shows this time and time again.  Pew’s work in this report is simply the latest installment in this story.”

The Pew report  is a  reminder to men that we are relational beings.   First, the assurance of our relationship to our heavenly Father.  Our sense well being is found in knowing that God is our “abba” Father.  “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by him we cry ‘abba,’ Father.”  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children” (Rom. 5:15-26).  Knowing our relationship to “abba” equips us to be relational.

Second, our commitment to family.  Men, our true character is found within our families.  God has placed you in an immediate and extended family.  Accept this as his design for your spiritual journey.  Remember God has not made a mistake in placing you in a unique family dynamic.  Here you will find your calling as a man of God.

Third, you will be tested in your family relationships.  Nothing keeps me more humble then family relationships.  There will be individuals who are like “sandpaper,” whom God uses to get rid of wrong edges in your character.

Fourth, don’t forget that God has also placed you in a church family. There you will be pruned relationally.  ‘Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community” (Bonhoeffer).  When you join, you are not able to choose who are our brother and sisters.

Three time Grammy-nominated Christian Artist David Crowder in releasing his new album “I Know a Ghost” said he decided to use the word “ghost” instead of “spirit’ as a means of startling people into spiritual reality.  The new record is a modern blend of bluegrass, country, electronic-synth, gospel and Southern hip-hop.  I’m a bluegrass, country guy, so I don’t naturally gravitate to all his  songs. But I appreciate how Crowder’s style reaches a wide audience. Personally I consider David Crowder a a modern day artist, who has a prophetic edge to his music.

His music forces me to a deeper, more reflective place in my journey through the spiritual wastelands, as I relate to lost pilgrims.  Substituting “ghost” for “Spirit” is an attempt to reach a skeptical  audience.  “There’s something about the word ‘ghost’ that makes your everyday person feel more comfortable than ‘spirit,'” notes Crowder,  “because there’s less church language attached to it.”  As humans we are, “continually scratching at something.”  Crowder rightly observes, “there is something innate in us that is searching for the beyond.” I personally attempt to use very little “church” language.  I attempt to “scratch” for the soul, where the echoes of transcendence are found.

In his music Crowder  “shift our perceptions and realigning our awareness of what is real.” It is an attempt “to recolonize our imaginations.”  In his lyrics there is a strong belief that no one is so far gone that redemption cannot reach them.  “We come from God and we are going back to God, and it is His Breath, His Spirit that’s in us that causes us  to vibrate in wonder when we recognize the beauty of his Creation and the relentlessness of His redemptive pursuit.”  I try gently, to make reference to what is beyond and listen for sounding from the soul of another person.  Done in love and gentleness, it often gets a person thinking about their life with God.

A song on the record is entitled “Ghost.” “This ghost is a fire.” The phrase “get ready” is repeated.  To me, it has a prophetic tone in both the lyrics and sound.  It is a reminder that the Spirit of God is going to fulfill the purposes of the Father, through His Son, by the work of the Holy Spirit.  John said of Jesus, “He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.” (Matt. 3:11).  When the Spirit was poured out on the day of Pentecost, Luke tells us, “They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separate and came to rest on each of them” (Acts 2:4).  The presence of God can be with fire (Ex. 3:2).  Revelation 1:14 describes Jesus with eyes “like blazing fire.”

In “ghost” the following phrases are found in progression.   “This ghost is a fire”  – “His ghost is inside you”  –  “Get ready, there’s a ghost in the room”  – and finally “We’re ready for you to set things right.”  This sequence reminds me of the early church in prayer as they face opposition.  They prayed, “Now, Lord consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus” (Acts 4:30).  The results of the prayer are found in the next verse (31).  “After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken.  And they were filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.”

Men – the Holy Spirit (Ghost) is like fire within you.  He’s asking us to get ready.  Our prayer should be, “Come Holy Spirit, we’re ready.”

John C. Richards, the managing director of the Billy Graham Center at Wheaton College,  speaking to believers, caught my eye with this statement. “Unfortunately, we’ve spent way more time discussing each gender’s role than we have each gender’s soul.”  He was writing  about a summit at Wheaton on sexual violence: calling men to listen well.

He pointed out how women in the West have been the backbone in the churches.  I sure can testify to this observation in my years of parish ministry.  The involvement of women was always greater than that of men. Every church I served had an active and well-organized women’s group.  None had a similar group for the men.  I worked hard at getting men’s ministries started. But over the past 30 years there has been shift.  A 2016 Pew Survey highlighted the narrowing gender gap in religious service attendance between 1982 and 2002.

In 1982, over twice the number of women than men attended religious services at least once a week.  Over the 30 -year period, however, the gender gap has decreased from a 13-point gap to a 6-point gap.  Similar trends occur among religiously-affiliated women.  The Pew Research found that the rise of Religious Nones and behavior changes among women who say they are religious contributed significantly to that decline.

Richards wonders, “If 81% of women and 43% of men have experienced some form of sexual harassment at some point in their lifetime, then the church needs to be equipped to confront all forms of harassment and abuse.”  It  very well could be the result of the frustration, disillusionment and disappointment women have experienced in churches because of harassment and/or emotional abuse.  Could it be that men in the church need to be more affirming of women and the deep-healing needed around gender issues.

Richards challenges men to “think through ways in which some have unknowingly created cultures conducive to the forms of abuse that Scripture condemns….we need to hear the pain others have felt, often suffering in silence before now.”  I agree with his observation of “soul care.”  “Soul care is much more important than role care.  When our sisters hurt, we should hurt too.”

If soul care is more important than a focus on roles, I realize I cannot remain silent. This will mean moving beyond my comfort zone.  I desire to be a man who is “safe,” enabling women to share their pain regarding men. I am willing to accept blame for the way men have treated women in the past. “Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed.  Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law.  If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived” ( Gal 6:2-3 – Message).  I will need to keep the following priorities in mind.

First, I need to continually examine my heart for any distorted view of the feminine that has been lodged in my soul from experiences with women, starting most importantly with my mother.

Second,  I need to be ever vigilant in my relationship with my wife treating her as my equal on our spiritual journey.

Third, I need to commit to practicing the presence of Jesus with all the women in my life.

Fourth, I need to be keenly aware of the wounds women have regarding men.  As a man I will face rebuke, anger and prejudice.  In lovingly absorbing this, I may serve as an instrument of healing in the hearts of women.

Fifth,  I understand that my priorities, based on a biblical worldview will clash with the culture.  I accept this reality, and ask the Lord to help me to walk humbly and respectfully among all the women who are in my circle of influence.

Gillette has decided to put a new spin on its 30-year tagline, “The Best A Man Can Get,” by asking in a new ad, “Is this the best a man can get?”  The company ran an online commercial that implies the history of American masculinity as being filled with sexual harassment, bullying and cruelty – and suggests that a new masculinity is needed to overcome all the male transgressions of the past.

A Gillette spokesperson explained, “We are taking a realistic look at what’s happening today, and aiming to inspire change by acknowledging that the old saying ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ is not an excuse.  We want to hold ourselves to a higher standard, and hope all the men we serve will come along on that journey to find our ‘best’ together.”  Rather than finding our best, many men with be intimidated by the ad.  To take offense at the message is to be labeled as part of the problem.

David French observed, “the masculinity wars are about more than unquestionably bad acts.  They veer into the very nature of masculinity itself.”  While condemning toxic masculinity the ad has no idea of what healthy masculinity might be.  What must be rejected is the “woke” version of masculinity, which puts all men in the same box.  A  “good” masculinity can be found in our identity with  Christ.  This means dying to the elements of “bad” masculine that are part of our fallen nature, so that we might raised to live  in the “good” masculine.  Paul says, “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:3).  The true masculine is hidden in every man.  In Christ it can come forth, through death and resurrection.

When actress Jessica Chastain thanked Gillette, “for the reminder of the beauty of men,” saying further, “I’m so moved by your call to action,” she has no idea of what a good man is like nor what action he needs to take. Could it be that the call for action is politically and economically motivated. In my opinion it will take godly men modeling a healthy masculinity to make a difference in the gender debate of our day.

Thankfully there was a rather strong backlash to the ad, evidenced in an online debate that followed.  In responding to the controversy, Pankaj Bhalla (Gillette Brand Director for North America at the time),  noted Gillette’s intention is a redefining of  Gillette’s longtime tagline, “The Best A Man Can Get.”  “Our ultimate aim,” he states, “is to groom the next generation of men, and if any of this helps even in a little way we’ll consider that a success.”

The Gillette ad will do little in helping groom the next generation of men, especially for men who are desiring to be led by the Spirit of God.  There will be more ads in the future.  They are driven by  hidden agenda of wanting to please the politically correct crowd and with an eye on the profit margin. It will breed more confusion, anger, and resignation in many men.

My advice – listen again to the words of Jesus: “Haven’t you read that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said  ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'” Matt. 19:4-6).  Come to the Lord and allow him to bring forth your “good” masculine self.  Paul encourages us, “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Phil. 2:12-13).

When I first started this blog over nine years ago, I began using  the word “masculine” in a very intentional manner.  I have been influenced greatly by Leanne Payne and her cry for the healing of the masculine soul.  Back in 1985 she wrote a book, entitled “Crisis in Masculinity.” It brought healing and peace to my masculine soul. I came to rest in who I was as a man created uniquely by my heavenly Father.  In my opinion, she was prophetic in her insights about the condition of the masculine soul and the future of our society.

“The major crisis today,” she wrote “is with men.  When men are healed, the healing of women will naturally follow.  There is an important reason for this. It is the father who affirms sons and daughters in their sexual identity and therefore – because gender identity is a vital part of personhood itself – as persons.  Masculinity… is finally not a thing to be learned, but rather a quality to be tasted or experienced.  The masculine within is called forth and blessed by the masculine without.”  The “calling forth” of the masculine is at the heart of what the Wildman journey is all about.

Leanne further observed, “A crisis in masculinity is always a crisis in truth.  It is a crisis in powerlessness of the feminine virtues: the good, the beautiful and the just, in a culture and in an individual.  A culture will never become decadent in the face of a healthy, balanced masculinity.  When a nation or an entire Western culture backslides, it is the masculine which is first to decline.”  This is a prophetic insight that we see unfolding before our very eyes.

The recent report from the American Psychological Association should be awake up call for the need of Christian men to be affirmed in their masculinity.  In the APA’s new guidelines called “Psychological Practice with Boys and Men,” the guidelines claim “traditional masculinity” is psychologically harmful to boys and men.  Traditional masculinity is defined as “anti-femininity, achievement, eschewal of the appearance of weakness, and adventure, risk and violence.”  It is marked by “stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression.”

Traditional masculinity is to be considered a social construct.  Real gender is “non-binary.”  Even trying to identify male sex with masculine gender reveals “heteronormative assumptions.”  In other words masculinity has no objective existence.  It is whatever we want to make it to be.  The report actually says, “Psychologists should help boys and men create their own concepts of what it means to be male.”

In these guidelines the real plight of boys and men coincides with our culture’s rejection of traditional masculinity.  The intent is to deconstruct masculinity.  The solution is not to reject masculinity as a disorder.  Rather we need to re-discover and embrace the true masculine, which God declared to be “very good.”  As John Stonestreet observed, “the trait and roles of real masculinity aren’t socially constructed.  They’re innate – created by God as an expression of His image complemented by and working in concert with femininity.”

Again, my cry is that men will turn their hearts toward home.  This means coming in our confusion, insecurity and brokenness into our heavenly Father’s presence and hearing in the depths of our heart, “You are my beloved.”  Only the compassionate and loving embrace of our heavenly Father can heal our wounds as men.  To this I am committed.  I pray God will give me the wisdom and compassion to write these blogs to this end.  I ask for your prayers, that together we might bring men back home to the Father.

Many  cultural observers have been calling attention to the loneliness being experienced in the West.  In Britain, for example, the government has now established a “minister of loneliness” in order to deal with loneliness as a serious and growing health problem.  It seems that even though we are more “connected” we have never felt as lonely.  According to a nationwide study of 20,000 people by the Cigna health insurance company, nearly half of respondents say they feel alone or left out always or some of the time.  56% reported they sometimes or always felt as if the people around then ‘are not necessarily with them.'”  40% said, “they lack companionship” and their “relationships aren’t meaningful,” resulting in feelings of isolation.

Writing in the opinion page of the New York Times, Arthur C. Brooks of the American Enterprise Institute wrote, “America is suffering an epidemic of loneliness.” Brooks wonders if lonely people increasingly fill the hole of belonging in their lives with angry politics.  He argues, “In the ‘siloed’ or isolated, world of cable television, ideological punditry, campus politics and social media, people find a sense of community in the polarized tribes forming on the left and the right in America.”

Brooks, reflecting on Senator Ben Sasse’s new book, “Them: Why We Hate Each Other” asks if the pervasive feeling of homelessness is not a big part of the problem.  Many Americans don’t have a place that is home – “a ‘thick’ community in which people know and look out for one another, while investing in relationships that are not transient.  We lack, Brooks maintains that “hometown gym on a Friday night feeling.” Brooks encourages us, “to intentionally invest in the places where we actually live,”  with a commitment to be a neighbor in the community that is home.  Brooks give this challenge, “Each of us can be happier, and America will start to heal, when we become the kind of neighbors and generous friends we wish we had.”

As Judy and I begin our new adventure, we are looking for that “hometown gym on a Friday night feeling.”  There is a sense of loneliness as we go about meeting new people both in our senior apartment and at church. Philippians 2:3-4 helps express our motivation as we go about creating a “thick” community for ourselves in Brainerd, Mn.  “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.  Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” (NLT).

How are we trying to live this out?  We are both intentional about connecting.  We share our impressions of the folks we are meeting.  We are taking the time and energy to be with people both in the apartment complex and at church.  The people we are meeting already have relationships.  We are willing to take the lowest place.  Jesus said, “But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’  Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests.  For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 14:10-11).

The following flows out of taking the lowest place. First, listen to the story of others. Ask questions and show a genuine interest in their story, making the effort to remember what they shared.  Secondly, take the posture of a servant. Put their interest ahead our own.  “Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10).  Thirdly, above all be authentic. Don’t pretend to be anyone other then yourself. Keep the focus on the other.  “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it” (Rom 12:9 – Message).