Month: June 2025 (Page 1 of 3)

Recently Judy and I celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary with our immediate family.  Almost two years ago, we began signaling our desire to celebrate with our three adult children and their spouses. The grandkids would be a extra blessing.  Four of our eight grandkids joined us.  As the event neared, we both became aware of its importance in our lives.  We also felt “spiritual warfare” in preparing our remarks.

We  wanted to pass on a spiritual legacy.   I can assure you, there was prayerful consideration in our preparation.  Judy gave an intimate portrait of each family.  She shared her insights and memories, with carefully chosen word of affection, admiration and acceptance for each family.  Her careful, crafted words,  expressed with loving affection. were sought afterwards by each family. 

My comments, coming after prayerful thought were not recorded on paper.  I felt an urgency in my remarks, knowing the uniqueness of our gathering.   I began with  Ps. 71:18,  “Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God.  Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.”  Being in the fourth quarter, my wife and I used this occasion to speak boldly, with a burden to leave a spiritual legacy.  Reflecting on our long journey, we visualize the end of the journey.  We continue to pray each morning for our family,  while asking the Lord to give us a good death.  

I acknowledged speaking as the patriarch of our family, since I was the oldest male in our gathering.  From the beginning of our family, I have embraced and accepted the biblical role of Patriarch found in God’s Word.  God began His plan to rescue humanity through Abraham.  “All the families of the earth will be blessed through you.” (Gen. 12:3).  Then we read in Matthew 1:1, of Jesus being, a “descendant of King David and of Abraham.”  Since I’ve  been adopted into God’s family, as a male, married with three adult children, I  accepted the role of Patriarch.

To declare on our 60 wedding celebration, the role of a Patriarch, was to be vulnerable and spiritually exposed before my family.  Why? First, the role of  Patriarch is highly suspect in today’s culture.  But, by the grace of God I have sought to be a honorable Patriarch.  Secondly, the matter of “living out the role” of Patriarch caused foreboding in my heart. I acknowledged my unworthiness and dependency on God’s mercy. Regardless, I have sought to be intentional  in my role as Patriarch.  My wife accepts her role of my help mate.  I say she is a “long-suffering women,” who has put up with me as her head for all these years.  Thirdly, to be a Patriarch is to  live counter-culturally.  The word has a negative connotation today.  I am the least likely man to embrace the role.  But I have chosen to “lean” into this biblical role.   

The heart of my exhortation was expressed as follows:  1) the rightly ordering of spiritual reality, knowing the light overcomes the impending darkness,  2) to speak a word of overcoming into the spiritual realm of darkness, waging war against the light, and 3) to pray a blessing on each family, asking for God’s grace and protection for the days to come.

I expressed gratitude and thanks for how the Lord has formed my family, first my wonderful wife and then our extended family.  It is God’s gift to me. I expressed  that the time is short.  Greater darkness is coming.  But we can choose to walk in the light of Jesus.  The battle will rage mightily between light and darkness. But Jesus has overcome the darkness.   

Seth Troutt, a young pastor in Arizona, articulates masculine issues in an insightful manner.  In a recent article entitled, “A dearth of vital virtues,” he contends that our society has a masculinity shortage.  In our culture, the description of masculinity as “toxic” is a binary word, being an either-or reality; either a man is too toxic, or he isn’t.  But male toxicity can be viewed as not having enough male energy. The question then becomes when does masculinity become toxic?  “The world suffers,” observes Troutt, “not from too much, but from too little, healthy masculine presence.”  

“Masculinity has to do with male energy and male presence” notes Troutt, “what a man feels like relationally and what his contribution is to the world.”  In understanding masculinity there are two basic assumptions.  “One perspective envisions masculinity as inherently toxic in the binary sense.”  In this view male leadership, aggression and ambition are basically toxic, seeing masculinity energy as domination and controlling.  Masculinity is like a cancer. It needs to be eliminated.  The second perspective is more nuanced, seeing  the amount of toxic masculinity as expressed  harmful. “Too much of anything can prove to be ‘toxic.'”  

Influencers like Andrew Tate can be seen as having too much masculinity.  “The antidote …would be to tone it down, to embrace a more balanced or androgynous energy.”  But Troutt believes there is a lack of God given masculinity.  “Our culture is suffering not from too much of a possible dangerous thing.  Instead, we’re suffering from too little of a necessary thing. We don’t have a toxic masculinity problem.  We have an anemic masculinity problem,” not enough godly masculinity.

What is anemic masculinity?  “Like a body with chronically low amounts of iron can develop anemia, a culture or a person with chronically low nutrients develops an anemic masculine.  What are the aspects of masculinity that are most lacking?” In Troutt’s view the discussion regarding toxic masculinity gets things mostly wrong.  For example, Troutt points out, “A chauvinist isn’t too masculine.  He’s not masculine enough. He sticks out for what he lacks: chivalry and humility.” Troutt points out four characteristics of godly masculinity.

First, “a godly masculinity will always present as humility.”  Instead surrendering in the face of the voices of “toxic” criticism. men should be bold and stand in their God given masculinity.  Male energy is expressed in servanthood. Jesus said, “The greatest among you will be your servant” (Matt 23:11). 

Secondly, “a proper masculinity will see his desires as fundamentally good, but nonetheless disordered.” As an example, the desire for sex is normal, but lust is too much.  A godly expression of masculinity is deeply aware of sexuality, but has surrendered the passions to be rightly ordered by God.

Thirdly, “the true vision for masculinity is of a man who can take care of himself.”  He is focused on giving himself first to others.  He sees himself as a servant of others.  He does not project been a victim.

Fourthly, “an authentic masculinity will recognize the reality of male power and use it to honor and uplift.”  Men are encouragers.

As an elderly male, who has been concerned with issues of masculinity for over 30 years, I admire this young man for his courage.  I agree with his challenge at the end of his article.  “The absence of masculine strength-in-action means that bad players thrive while the weak and timid suffer.  We are to beat back wolves, not coddle them and delve into their back stories.  We are to warn divisive and unruly people while driving out the leaven that threatens the whole lump.  Shirking of responsibility is wildly non-masculine.”