Not long ago, Dr. Anthony Bradley of the Kings College in New York wrote a blog entitled “The New Legalism.”  He had written on Facebook the following, “Being a ‘radical,’ ‘missional’ Christian is slowly becoming the ‘new legalism.’  We need more ordinary God and people lovers (Matt 22:36-40).”  His blog was in response to all the comments he received from his observation.  In his blog, Bradley suggested that many young Christians are smothered with a new legalism: “many young adults feel ashamed if they ‘settle’ into ordinary jobs, get married early and start families, live in small towns or as I Thess 4:11 says, ‘aspire to live quietly and to mind [their] affairs, and to work with [their] hands.”

This got me to thinking about the men who read this blog.  My sense is that most of you are dads, who work hard to provide for your families.  You go about your daily tasks, which often seem rather mundane.  You are committed to your wife and kids.  You don’t have a lot of time of extra time.  Yet you still desire to make a difference in your community.  So you are involved in your local church, or maybe volunteer in your community.  You might even find time to be in a small group with some other guys.

Maybe there are men reading this blog today who are being motivated by shame-driven pressure to be more radical and missional. You live an invisible ordinary life, wanting to make a difference in your family, community and church and you wonder if you are radical enough for Jesus. There is a tendency with men to compare our commitment with other men.  As a result you might be discouraged with your spiritual journey and a good candidate for spiritual  “burn out.”

I want to strongly speak a good word for being an “ordinary Christian man.”  The evangelical culture has traditionally placed an emphasis on doing the right thing and thinking the right thoughts.  There needs to be more thought given to simply “being.”  In my early 50’s I came to the realization that my focus was more on what I was doing for God, then what He was doing through me. I saw that my being with Jesus was more important then working for Jesus.  To much of my walk was about  Al and how “spiritual” he thought he was. I had to come peace that being “an ordinary Christian,” living for Jesus right in my everyday circumstances, was God’s will for me.

So men, take heart.  Being “ordinary,” that is, living a dedicated, domestic life as a husband and father, is a high calling.  Your faithful witness will impact not only your family, but other men in our community and church.  I say that a man who commits himself to be a “humble, loving follower Jesus” within his family, is doing a radical thing.  Why? Because this does not come natural to men, nor is it modeled well in our churches.  Remember God’s exhortation to us as husbands and fathers. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (Eph 6:25).  This means giving up yourself for your wife, as Jesus gave himself for you.  Then the word about being a father.  “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4).  That can be a full time job for a dad.

I don’t know about you, but I can only absorb so much of what is happening in our culture that disturbs me.  The problems that our culture faces, and the solutions that are being offered make me wonder what will happen to our nation.  In all the commentary, the reality of a sovereign God, who is in control of history and who has invited me to live my life under his lordship can easily be forgotten in the midst of all the voices wanting my attention. I must remember that  God has says, “Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen.” (Isaiah 14:24)  I am so thankful that I belong to the kingdom of God.  I always end up praying, “May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.”  That gives me hope and certainty.  Jesus and his kingdom has come and it will endure into all eternity. We may ask as Sam did in his conversation with Mr. Frodo in The Lord of the Rings, “What sort of tale have we fallen into?”

There is a danger for men to get caught up in their small story, with the need to control and understand, that we forget we have entered into God’s story, which is so much bigger.   Listen to this quote from a book entitled, “Deep Mentoring”. “We understand the plot line of God entering our story, but we fail to realize we have entered God’s story.  Our stories are too small.  And consequently our God is to small.” I don’t know about you, but that is a very convicting statement for me as a follower of Jesus when I get my spiritual eyes off the lord and unto my need to understand and control. Eugene Peterson reminds us that, “story is our most accessible form of speech.”  Story is the primary way in which the revelation of God is given to us.  From beginning to end, Scripture is written in the form of story.

God invites us to become a part of his everlasting story  by inviting our participation in what he is doing in the earth.  Jeremiah tells us, “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jer. 29:11).  The danger for men is our tendency to turn God’s story into information, to be used, rather then allow God’s story to transform our lives.  We can use “spiritual” information, to take matters  into our own hands, taking charge  of how we will live our lives.

Men, there is the real danger that we can so easily make up our own story of “salvation” that we miss what God is saying to us.  We must never forget that the God’s story in scripture is meant to draw us into a relationship with God.   Jesus tells us, “The Spirit can make life.  Sheer muscle and willpower don’t make anything happen.  Every word I’ve spoken to you is a ‘Spirit-word’, and so it is life-making.” (John 6:63 – The Message).  Allow God’s story to impact and expand your story.  Become aware of the ways in which you try to fit God into the “small box” of your story.

Men, did you know that there is a strategic new initiative that is designed to help dads across America coming on Father’s Day weekend in June.  A group called “The Fatherhood CoMission Summit” came up with an idea of a “Courageous Dads Simulcast.”  The 90-minute simulcast will be aired Friday, June 14th.  You can go to “Courageous Dads Simulcast” to find out how you to get involved.  Better yet, get a group of guys from your community or church to join together.  The event is meant to engage, encourage, and edify fathers; equip churches to champion the cause of fatherhood; and instill a vision for what Father’s Day should be in our homes and churches.

Dads need all the help and encouragement they can receive in our culture.  It is hard to find a strong father and caring dads portrayed in the dominant media.  Dads are more likely to seen as clueless, rigid, or the butt of constant jokes.  It seem like fathers are expendable, not necessary in the raising of  children.  But the reality is very different.  According to The National Fatherhood initiative: “Children in a father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor.  Children born to single mothers show higher levels of aggressive behavior than children born to married mothers.”

Chuck Colson, who was founder of Prison fellowship, make this observation, “Our prison systems are full of people who never had the example of a courageous father – or any father at all.  Over 70% of long-term  prison inmates come from broken homes, and young men raised in fatherless households are at least twice as likely to be incarcerated as those from intact families.”

I am sure I don’t have to convince the men who read this blog about the truth of the above observations.  Yet I am sure that you need some encouragement and support in your role as dad.  Many dads struggle with busyness, cultural pressures and unreal expectation in trying to be good Christian dads.  You are willing, but you need some support and encouragement.  Why not check out the “Courageous Dad Simulcast.”

Not long ago a coalition of over 18 atheist and secular groups, unveiled a billboard along a San Diego freeway, which read, “Atheism: A personal relationship with reality.”  ‘”We want to express how using intelligence to free oneself of the god idea can open the curtain to a inspiring new outlook,” said spokeswoman Debbie Allen. ” Atheism is positive and offers grounding in the real world.”  The billboard features a curtain with a painting of a sky exposing a stack of books.  “When you raise the curtain between the known and the unknown, there is nothing there but the natural world.  No wizards, no spirits, no deities,” Allen explained.

The message of this billboard screams for a reply.  There simply can be no personal relationship with reality without a personal Creator.   The universe is the result of a personal being, the Triune God of love. who created reality, that is, our world, in order that we might have a personal relationship with him.  The universe is very personal, the result of a loving creation of Father, Son and Holy Spirit, who have lived in perfect loving relationship from all eternity. We are invited into this perfect relationship.  C.S. Lewis called it “The Great Dance.” In the beginning “God said,’ Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness.'” (Gen 1:26)  Then we read in verse 27, “God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

Men, never forget that “personhood” is a precious gift bestowed upon by by our loving Heavenly Father.  Human intelligence comes up empty in an attempt to explain personal relationships.  Paul reminds us in I Cor 2:9, “No one’s seen or heard anything like this, never so much as imagined anything quite like it – What God has arranged for those who love him.”  (The Message).  When the curtain of awareness is opened, it is not “stack of books” that we contemplate.   But we hear the same words that the Father uttered to his beloved Son,  “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” (Mark 1:12)

I pray that when the curtain lifted, that each of  us will see how much God longs for personal relationship with each man reading this blog..  Ponder these wonderful words from the Message (Eph. 1:4-6).  Just let them sink into your heart and soul.  “Long before he laid down earth’s foundation, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love.  Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!).  He wanted  us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift giving by the hand of his beloved Son.”

At the last “wild man” Saturday, I shared honestly with the men, that I had been in a cave, or an abyss, as I called it in an earlier blog.  I didn’t get very far in, but it was dark enough to give my wife some concern.  In my struggle, I continued to cry out to Jesus for grace and mercy.  I put my trust in him as best I could.  Today I would say that I am at the entrance to the cave, in the sunlight, wanting to move on.  I was surprise at the response of the men.  I have been the spiritual director of this group for years.  So as leader, I should have it together.  It was hard for me to humble myself and show my wounds.  But it caused a deep sharing by every other man about their own pain and the resulting time in a cave.

I was reminded of Paul’s words in II Cor 1:4-5.  “…who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”  One of the lessons I am learning from my “cave time” is the realization that God can use my weakness for good.  When I am willing to show my “emotional scars” and the help I am receiving from God, it can be used in the life of another men.  It is also a good step in humility.  Men, I encourage you not to hid your scars.

Listen to what Brennan Manning has to say in this regard, “Christian who remain in hiding continue to live the lie.  We deny the reality of our sin.  In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift.  If we conceal our wounds, out of fear or shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.  But when we dare to live as forgiven men and women, we join the wounded healers and draw closer to Jesus.”

I hope this blog can be an encouragement to some man, who is existing in a spiritual and emotional “cave” to be willing to share his pain.  To hide is to flee from reality.  But as we share our struggle we help other in their struggle. This is what real life is all about.  We need to face the pain of our struggles, and not keep it to ourselves.  We become  “wounded healers,” helping illuminate the road to recovery for someone else.

Matthew West in song entitled “The healing has begun” has a verse that talks about “our beautiful scars.”  “There is a world full of people dying from broken hearts, holding unto their guilt thinking they fell too far.  So don’t be afraid to show them your beautiful scars.  They’re the proof, you’re are the proof.”   So don’t hide your scars.  Share it for your sake and for someone else who can learn from your story.  Don’t waste you pain.

There is a new movie, now showing,  about the baseball career of Jackie Robinson, who as we all know was the first African-American to break baseball’s color barrier.  He had to endure a get deal of racial prejudice when he broke into the majors with the Dodgers.  There were unbearable insults and even physical attacks on the field.  The film is entitled “42,” the number that Robinson wore.   What is given little attention in movie is the personal faith of Jackie Robinson, which gave him the strength and courage to go through his ordeal.  It is said that Branch Ricky, the general manger of the Brooklyn Dodgers was looking for a player “with the guts enough not to fight back.”

Both Ricky and Robinson had in common a devout Christian faith.  Ricky knew that Robinson’s strong faith would help him face all the injustice he would face.  Robinson earlier in his career had be mentored by a Methodist pastor who taught him,”that exploding in anger was not the Christian answer to injustice”.  He learned that a  life lived in submission to Christ was not weakness but actually heroic.  Before he got the the Dodgers, Robinson began to see that the path to justice  would come not through anger, hate and violence, but through love and restraint.

Each of us will face injustice and even opposition.  How will we react?  Our  first impulse is to defend ourselves, justify our position,  probably get angry, causing the other person to only get upset.  Men, it is not easy when relationships aren’t fair.  But with the Spirit of Jesus living within, we can cooperate with Jesus who has overcome the world by demonstrating the power of love to change lives. Paul exhorts us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom 12:21).  We are faced with a choice.  By the grace of God we can purpose to act in love and compassion.  It will not be accomplished in by having “the guts enough not to fight,”  but by yielding to the Spirit of Jesus within us.

Paul reminds us that we have one debt that we owe everyone.  That is the debt of love.  “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law” (Rom 13:8).  So when we make the choice to love instead of reacting negatively, we are fulfilling God purpose in our lives.  The reminder that we owe others the debt of love helps us practice caring for the other, rather then reacting when our rights are being violated.  We are called to love.  That is the will of God for us, plain and simple.  God gives us the capacity to do so, as we surrender to his will for our life.  May God not only give us the “guts” not to fight back, but rather the love to do so.

Some of you may have heard of Kenny Luck.  He is the head of a men’s ministry entitled “Every Man Ministries.”  At a recent “Ignite” conference he gave this challenge  to men.  “The world doesn’t need any more men that are simply “affiliated” with God or the Christian faith.”  What the world needs are men who are “activated” for Christ.  He challenged men to move from the audience in terms of their relationship with God to that of an army.  The big difference  being in an audience versus being in an army, one is in the fight and one is not.

He quotes Jesus’ words in Matthew 12:35, “Good things come out of the good man because of the good that is stored up in him.  Evil things come out of the evil man because of the evil that is stored up in him.”  “Faith is seen,” explains Luck, “by what faith does.  That is why men of God ignited, catching fire, is important – particularly the younger men – because there is such a crisis around the world when it comes to men.  The world is wondering where have all the good men gone?”  When Godly men get together there is something that is ignited.  Men begin to catch the fire from others.  Something is being “caught”  in the process

I believe this is an important point.  Men who become energized in their walk with God will have an influence on others.  It is the old principle of “iron sharpening iron.”  Men are “rising up” to take back  their communities for God.  As Luck observes, “Pain and suffering  caused by a  broken male culture creates a need and longing for men who bring hope, help, and health to the social darknesses plaguing them.”

Men are being called by God to rise above culture, self and evil  with a desire to be more Christ-like.  The way Luck puts it, men are being called to, “empower health in every space and in every relationship they can be means of a living and active faith in Christ.”  In  other words, men are going about their every day lives wanting to bring healthy change, as they attempt to reflect the love of Christ.  They are activated.

So the challenge is for us to be activated in our faith.  As we relate to other men who are “ignited” for God, we will be motivated to take back our culture for God.  We acknowledge that men have brought much darkness into our culture.  This we do not deny.  But we want to be agents of light.  I close with these words for Hebrews 10:24-5, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another..”  Look for men who are “activated” and join them on the journey

As I prepare to write this blog, I confess that I feel as though I have little  to say.  I know it is the season that I am going through.  I struggled with being honest as I write, but in the end I felt that my honesty might speak to some man who reading this blog.  My recovering from hip surgery has knocked me for a loop.  It is not only the time it takes to get back to normal, but I fret about all the work that needs to be done around our place here on the lake.  I must confess, that my wife at this time is my pillar. I  confess my weakness.

I have been learning to live once again in a simple trust in the goodness  and unfailing love of my heavenly Father.   I have held on to passages of scripture that talk of trust.  Here are two of them.  “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God whose word I praise – in God I trust and am not afraid (Ps 56:3-4)  I literally get afraid at times.  It is in those moments that I cling to the Lord in trust.  “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go for to you I entrust my life (Ps 143:8).  When I get up in the morning I cling to the reality of God’s unfailing love.  I have to depend on the Lord to show me the way.

The image of an abyss has been very helpful for me.  If I let my mind go to all the fears, worries and uncertainties that I feel in my life, I find myself sinking into an inner abyss that get my focus off the Lord and on to me.  That is not good.  The focus needs to be the Lord and not Al and his problems.   I identify with the words of the Psalmist in Ps 40:1-2 when he says  “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit; out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand.”  My only solid place is in Jesus.

I can testify that I do find  firm place to stand.  But I must continually practice focusing on the Lord and trusting him.   So if you feel like me at times, being drawn into a abyss that has you focused only on you and your issues, I strongly urge you to take the step of simple child like trust and put your life circumstance into the hands of your heavenly Father.  His unfailing love will see you through.  That is what I am learning to do in new ways as I go through this season of my journey with Christ. Lord, give me grace and be merciful so that I can learn from this season of my life.

I have been thinking about Jesus’ words to us about not being orphaned.  “I will not leave you as orphans.  I will come to you.” (John 14:18).  What does it feel like to be an orphan?  We certainly get a visual example of being orphaned when we see all the refugees who are homeless from the wars that rage throughout the world.  It is difficult to image a child being orphaned in such a circumstance.  Do men ever feel orphaned?

While a man might not be physically orphaned, there are ways that men live their lives in “lonely isolation,”  feeling emotionally orphaned.  The sense of abandonment can be a very frightening reality that men have difficulty acknowledging.  This can happen when a man lives  a self-referenced, self-enclosed life. It is a life turned in on self.  One can live a very functional, productive life, but be alone on the inside.  Why?  Because we are meant for relationship.  That is, we are to live not just from our heads, but also from our hearts.  Men, we need to pay attention to our heart connections.

Jesus was abandoned at the end of  his life by all those around him.  He was all alone.  But listen to his words to us. “You will leave me all alone.  Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.” (John 16:32)  Earlier Jesus said, “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone…” (John 8:29).  Jesus whole ministry was that  of doing his Father’s will.  Because of his intimate connection with the Father, he was able to endure total rejection.

In Jesus’ example we find the key to not feeling orphaned.  It is in our relationship with our heavenly Father.  Men, I want to say with get emphasis, as if I were with you in a one- on-one conversation, that God loves you deeply.  He know all your thoughts and attitudes.  You can’t hide a thing from him.  Ps 139 expresses this so well.  David said, for example, “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.” (Ps 139:2).  He sees you in that dark, lonely corner of your heart.   He comes to you in love, wanting you to know that you can stand up and walk with him into the light of his healing presence.

Listen to how David experienced this darkness. “Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you” (Ps 139: 12).  Our heavenly Father waits for us to invite him into the darkness of our loneliness.  When I feel abandoned and alone, I simply cry out to my heavenly Father to come to me.  I open my heart as best I can, and ask for the light of his presence.  He comes to me in the person of his Son, who is the light of the world.  Through Jesus, I can come to the Father and know that I am safely home.

Throughout the history of the church one of the the approaches to understanding the  Song of Songs has been to view the book as a allegory of Jesus and his relationship to the believer and the church.  In Chapter 2:1 Jesus is called “lily of the valleys.”  As most of you know, Easter Lilies have a special place in the celebration of Easter.  I have memories of the altar filled with beautiful Easter Lilies.  I found this interesting piece on the history of Easter Lilies in Conversation magazine.  I thought I would share it with you men.

“The Easter season coincides with the beginning of spring, a time of renewal and new life.  Often called the “white-robed apostles of hope,”  lilies are said to have been found growing in the Garden of Gethsemane after Christ’s agony, wherever His tears had fallen. Before fully opening, lilies assume a trumpet shape.  The shape represents God the Father calling his Son Jesus home, which is a great source of joy for believers in Christ.  White lilies represent purity and freedom from sin through Jesus’ death on the Cross.”

Remember Jesus referred to lilies in wanting us to see that our heavenly Father will take care of our every need. “Look the lilies and how they grow.  They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.  And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here, today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.  Why do you have so little faith?” (Luke 12:27-28).

So men, here are two “take-aways” from the Easter Lilies you will all enjoy this Easter Season.  First, think of that lily you are looking at as a “trumpet.”   It is the reminder that the Father called his Son back home to heaven for our sake.  Jesus promised he would not leave us orphaned, because when he went to the Father, the Holy Spirit, the very presence of Jesus would be with us and in us.  “I will not leave you as orphans: I will come to you.  Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me.”  (John 14:18).

The second “take-away” is the care our heavenly Father has for each of us.  It is personal, intimate and loving.  He knows all our needs and will take care of them.  Listen to the way the Message puts it. “If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? (Luke 12:28).   Jesus reminds us in Luke 12:7, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”