Seth Troutt, a young pastor in Arizona, articulates masculine issues in an insightful manner.  In a recent article entitled, “A dearth of vital virtues,” he contends that our society has a masculinity shortage.  In our culture, the description of masculinity as “toxic” is a binary word, being an either-or reality; either a man is too toxic, or he isn’t.  But male toxicity can be viewed as not having enough male energy. The question then becomes when does masculinity become toxic?  “The world suffers,” observes Troutt, “not from too much, but from too little, healthy masculine presence.”  

“Masculinity has to do with male energy and male presence” notes Troutt, “what a man feels like relationally and what his contribution is to the world.”  In understanding masculinity there are two basic assumptions.  “One perspective envisions masculinity as inherently toxic in the binary sense.”  In this view male leadership, aggression and ambition are basically toxic, seeing masculinity energy as domination and controlling.  Masculinity is like a cancer. It needs to be eliminated.  The second perspective is more nuanced, seeing  the amount of toxic masculinity as expressed  harmful. “Too much of anything can prove to be ‘toxic.'”  

Influencers like Andrew Tate can be seen as having too much masculinity.  “The antidote …would be to tone it down, to embrace a more balanced or androgynous energy.”  But Troutt believes there is a lack of God given masculinity.  “Our culture is suffering not from too much of a possible dangerous thing.  Instead, we’re suffering from too little of a necessary thing. We don’t have a toxic masculinity problem.  We have an anemic masculinity problem,” not enough godly masculinity.

What is anemic masculinity?  “Like a body with chronically low amounts of iron can develop anemia, a culture or a person with chronically low nutrients develops an anemic masculine.  What are the aspects of masculinity that are most lacking?” In Troutt’s view the discussion regarding toxic masculinity gets things mostly wrong.  For example, Troutt points out, “A chauvinist isn’t too masculine.  He’s not masculine enough. He sticks out for what he lacks: chivalry and humility.” Troutt points out four characteristics of godly masculinity.

First, “a godly masculinity will always present as humility.”  Instead surrendering in the face of the voices of “toxic” criticism. men should be bold and stand in their God given masculinity.  Male energy is expressed in servanthood. Jesus said, “The greatest among you will be your servant” (Matt 23:11). 

Secondly, “a proper masculinity will see his desires as fundamentally good, but nonetheless disordered.” As an example, the desire for sex is normal, but lust is too much.  A godly expression of masculinity is deeply aware of sexuality, but has surrendered the passions to be rightly ordered by God.

Thirdly, “the true vision for masculinity is of a man who can take care of himself.”  He is focused on giving himself first to others.  He sees himself as a servant of others.  He does not project been a victim.

Fourthly, “an authentic masculinity will recognize the reality of male power and use it to honor and uplift.”  Men are encouragers.

As an elderly male, who has been concerned with issues of masculinity for over 30 years, I admire this young man for his courage.  I agree with his challenge at the end of his article.  “The absence of masculine strength-in-action means that bad players thrive while the weak and timid suffer.  We are to beat back wolves, not coddle them and delve into their back stories.  We are to warn divisive and unruly people while driving out the leaven that threatens the whole lump.  Shirking of responsibility is wildly non-masculine.”

I have been enduring some storm tossed days in my soul life  It has been dark and cloudy.  I struggle with conflicting thoughts about who I am and what I am doing with my life.  I want to be a light for Jesus in my present surroundings, but I am haunted with doubts about my own faithfulness.   

I have learned to accept inner storms as a normal part of my spiritual journey.  Years ago, I was reluctant to acknowledge the  frequent storm occurring in my inner life, since I felt I had matured enough to be able to have clear sailing.  But I have learned as I journey along, storm will appear unexpected.  The storms, allowed by the Lord are a natural part of my spiritual growth.  I only learn by going through the storm, not by pretending it isn’t there.

I share my struggle because I got some encouragement from a recent blog by Ron Rolheiser. It helped give expression to my experience of the “dark night.” “Jesus,” notes Rolheiser, had a cosmic image for this experience.  “The sun will be darkened, the moon will not give forth its light, stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of heaven will be shaken”  (Matt. 25:29). When Jesus refers to these words from Isaiah, he is not describing only  cosmic cataclysms, but also a cataclysms of the heart.  “Sometimes our inner world is shaken, turned upside down; it gets dark in the middle of the day, there’s an earthquake in  the heart; we experience the end of the world as we’ve known it.” 

I say “amen.”  Rolheiser goes on the talk about “a dark night of the soul,” an experience of the soul life that I have have spent almost forty years of trying to understand.  Discussing St. John of the Cross, he writes, “God takes away the pleasure and consolation and we experience a certain dark night in that where we once felt fire, passion, consolation, and security, we will now feel dryness, boredom, disillusion, and insecurity.  For John of the Cross, all honeymoons eventually end.”

Why does the honeymoon need to end?  Rolheiser suggests, “on a honeymoon, too often we are more in love with being  in love and all the wonderful energy this creates than we are in love with the person behind all those feelings. The same is  true for faith and prayer.  When we first begin to pray seriously, we are often more in love with the experience of praying  and what it’s doing for us than we are in love with God.”  Therese of Lisieux used to warn: “Be careful not to seek yourself in love, you’ll end up with a broken heart that way.”

Years ago, I finally came to the realization that the honeymoon stage of my journey was over.  I was like a child who always expected candy from his father.  My heavenly Father was weaning me of the “sweet” experiences of prayer with its “sugar highs.”   I did not like giving up the familiar, while my heavenly Father was expecting me to live more like a maturing adult.  The honeymoon was over. I was being led down a path meant for a more mature adult man.   

Briefly, this is what I have learned thus far.  1) Realizing darkness, dryness and not knowing is normal.   2) God allows changes in the life of the soul for our growth.  Our old self will resist.  3) God looks at the intention of our heart.  Do we truly want to love Jesus more.  4) He will continue pursues us in love.  5) God will never give up on us.  6) Ultimately we surrender to his love as we mature.