We can start by recalling what we did to cause the other person to suffer as we try to see it from their perspective. We shouldn’t try to defend or excuse ourselves, but see things from the viewpoint of the one who is hurt and ask for forgiveness so the healing process can begin. The Lord is so full of mercy and pours out His grace to us. We can live this one day at a time. It should just be a regular practice for us to confess our sins and make amends quickly so that we are in tune with the Holy Spirit.

At the end of the day, we can review our day and ask to see it as the Lord sees it. What were the blessings that we can be grateful for? For what things do we need forgiveness? How can we grow and learn from our mistakes? How do we live in peace with ourselves and others? Let us not get discouraged when we blow it, but keep going, keep repenting and confessing, and let the Lord draw us ever closer.

We are given good exhortation from Paul in Gal. 5:16 where he writes, ”So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” I like how the Message translation says it, “My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness.” Paul goes on to say: we need to chose to be led by the Spirit so as not to live under our erratic compulsions as we try to live whatever we feel like on any given day.

There are times I just say to the Lord, ‘I’m not there yet, as I’m not wanting to do what you ask, but I am saying no to my flesh and will do your will.” I am always glad later, and the good feelings also seem to catch up. Jesus paid the ultimate price of following His Father’s will even to the point of death. He trusted His Father in all that He went through, and the more we trust Him, we will desire His will above ours. Jesus knows and cares about our needs even more than we do, so let us trust Him for what is best and not our flesh!!

Jesus’ way always works, but why do we cling to our own way so often and experience failure and frustration? God’s way is one of faith, and it always works if we are willing to follow through. Every single day we need His help, but we must surrender our way for His. That doesn’t mean that we do the mechanics of it the same way every day, for we can vary how we do things. Our son could stay in his office each morning and have devotions there, but instead he stops at Starbucks about 7 a.m. on his way to the gym to work out. Only before he gets to the gym he parks in a parking lot and watches the sunrise as he has His devotions and prayer time. He says it is his favorite time of the day. Then on to the gym and a work day!

Maybe we feel stuck as we methodically work out our devotional life, but why not try some new things? Some days we could go on a walk as we commune with the Lord or sit out in the woods. I used to occasionally have my quiet time with the Lord in a deer stand when we lived in Brunswick. Things looked so much different up in the tree when my eye was level with the birds. Be creative, and let each day be a fresh experience with the Lord. “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!” (Psalm 118:24)

We can ask ourselves: what matters most in our lives? How can I put the Lord first in my daily life? What does He want me to do with my life in this short time on earth? These are questions that are good to ask ourselves, as soon we will enter a New Year. Let us surrender to the Lord, put our full trust in Him in faith, and receive all that He has waiting to give us.

How do we receive Jesus? Do we get caught up on the glitz of the world and buy into the superficial ways of trying to find happiness and joy? The enemy will try to rob us every time and tempt us to look at worldly things to satisfy our heart’s hunger. He may suggest that we have to have a certain gift we see online to give us that feeling of importance and pride. He might also tempt us to spend money we don’t have and rack up a credit card bill that will sink us in the New Year.

But how much better when Jesus is the center of our lives and in first place! We center our preparations for Christmas around Him and seek to bring Him glory. We find ways to share Him with others, reaching out to the lonely and forgotten to help them know the Prince of Peace. We also may share in filling shoe boxes full of useful things to go to children all over the world. Our chiropractor sends out e-mails to let us know that coats are being collected for the needy and gifts for the children of prisoners for project Angel tree. What a surprise to see the front office filled with things for others in need! When we know Jesus, life is exciting and we can’t help but want to share with others.

When we think of it, change is like a miracle and the only way it happens is because of God’s presence within us. We surrender to His way as we die to our false self so a new person in Christ can come forth. Col. 3:3 says, “For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Dying to self is a lifelong process, and the more I grow in the Lord, the more I see how much I need to die daily. But there are big pluses to it, as we will notice our own heart is more open to receive love as well as to give love to others. Sometimes we may even find our heart is filled with love towards someone we hardly know, and we realize it is all Him!

When we become attentive to the Spirit, we find we are less distracted, as we are able to focus more on others and what really matters. We are not so preoccupied with self and can live less fragmented lives. We will also be more open to hear others’ stories and to understand them. In order to do that, we need to accept our own limits and the losses in our lives, so that bitterness doesn’t spoil our relationships. Forgiveness is key, for when we release others from payment of their actions we can begin together again. Forgiveness is the most wonderful gift that we receive and give to others. Let us all be willing to change and rest in God’s love so He can transform us and our relationships with others.

We probably all know friends who dreamed of spending their senior years traveling, but now have chronic illnesses that limit them to be housebound. There are also those whose spouse has Alzheimer’s, needing constant watching and care. Parents’ lives can be forever changed by a child born with disabilities. Others know the heartache of a family member fighting addiction. We all have had dreams of our what our life would be like. When it all changes suddenly, we may experience sorrow and heaviness of heart that lingers just below the surface and doesn’t go away.

Shelly gives ways that have worked for her to navigate through her losses that may help us or those we love. Just as she found strength in God’s promises, we can hang on to key scriptures. Sometimes we may need to go to a counselor who can help us deal with our pain, process it and renew our hope. Sometime we can just take time for a break and do something we enjoy, even if it is just a cup of coffee with an understanding friend. We can look for things that make us laugh. We can also share our burden with a trusted friend who will bring encouragement. Of course, we can be honest with God and pour our hearts out before Him as David did often. Psalm 62:8 says, “Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge.” Shelly also suggests letting God use our sorrow to help others, and He may meet our needs at the same time. Another good way is to practice gratitude and give thanks in whatever is happening, for He is with us. He fully understands all that we will ever go through.