Category: Wildman Journey (Page 81 of 87)

Recently I have been struggling with understanding my emotional responses to my wife.  It is a humbling experience to admit that after 45 years of marriage, I am still working on responding rightly to my wife.  But I am learning to stay with the storm inside and not run away to a safe place that has been created by my false self.  This is a place of illusion, defensiveness, and fear.  I have to face this tendency in myself and come out into the open, as I lovingly engage my wife.  It can be a fearful, confusing and humbling exercise.   But if I let myself go into the arms of my loving heavenly Father, as I engage my wife, I sense that I am being held in love. This is what gives me courage to stay involved and  connected, engaging my wife in what I perceive to be an emotional storm that I want to flee from.  It has the sensation of a young boy, still learning to grow up learning to responsibily face his  emotional storms of life.  ( O, God help me to grow up)

The words of the Psalmist give me hope and encouragement.  “Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit, to be out of your sight?  If I climb to the sky, you’re there!  If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon, you’d find me in a minute – you’re already there waiting!  Then I said to myself, “Oh he even sees me in the dark!  At night I’m immersed in the light!!”  It’s a fact: darkness, isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and  light, they’re all the same to you” (Ps 139:7-12 – The Message).  What a relief to know that the eyes of my loving heavenly Father see me in the darkness of my fear and insecurity and in love he wants to bring me into the light of freedom and trust.  

The present struggles I have with woman ( my wife) continue to show me that many of the issues relating to my lifestory, that I thought had been examined, clarified, confessed, and given to the Lord, only recycle at a deeper level.  The growth process is never over.  But it seems that the grace is always there to take the next step into the darkness, so that the light of Jesus can bring me into that safe place in him.  A wild man knows this.  He is committed to fighting for his heart.  He knows that God will choose the time and place for him to go into battle for his heart.  That is when a wild man will need to descend into the confusion and uncertainty of his heart, while surrendering control and the need to understand.  There is no other way to deal with the fear.  Jesus tells us “don’t fear.”  He is there with us.

So my encouragement to any wildman reading this blog, is to not run away.  Instead flee to Jesus.  Don’t let darkness get a grip on your soul.  Peter reminds us, “Keep a cool head.  Stay alert.  The devil is poised to pounce and would like nothing better than to catch you nappinig.  Keep your guard up (I Pet 5:8-9 – The Message).  If you need to, cry out to God like the Psalmist.  “From the depths of despair, O Lord, I call for your help.  Hear my cry, O Lord.  Pay attention to my prayer” (Ps 130:1-2).  So don’t run away, but stay in the light.  Face your pain and fear.  Admit you are not able.  This is God’s way of humbling you, so that you might be willing to leave that dark place of hiding.  He wants to strengthen you in spirit and soul.  But you have to come out and join him on this new leg of your journey.

In a documentary titled The Fatherless Epidemic, it is noted that more than 18 million children in the USA live without a biological father, stepfather, or adoptive dad in the home. And those same children, according to Bay Forrest of Focus Ministries (Pagodo Springs, CO), often have no clue what it means to be a “dearly loved child” because their own lives have been marked by being “put down, mocked, abused, taken advantage of” – and they cannot even begin to comprehend what it means to be dearly loved by God. 

This is where coming alongside one or two of these children and being the real-life hands, feet, eyes, ears, and voice of Christ in their lives helps them come to know Jesus – and to discover in their inner being what it means to be beloved by their heavenly Father.

One of the discoveries I needed on my journey of trying to follow Jesus is how beloved I am by my heavenly Father.  Through Christ I have come to know more and more that I am beloved. This is my identity as a child of God. And as I’ve become more aware of God’s love, what has surprised me is that I have been able to better see others as the beloved of God. 

This has not always been the case for me.  I’ve always known I should love others who are different from me – and I have wanted to.  But it has not necessarily been a reality in my heart.  It was stuck in my head.  I believe, too, that this is the case for most men.  We know we should be loving and compassionate, but when we’re honest with ourselves, we know we really aren’t.  The key, at least for me, has been gaining more and more of the ability to claim my “being the beloved of God.”

Listen to these words from Henri Nouwen: “When you discover your belovedness by God in solitude, you see the belovedness of other people in community and can call that beauty forth in ministry.  It’s an incredible mystery of God’s love that the more you know you are loved, the more you will see how deeply your sisters and brothers in the human family are loved.  The more you love others without conditions, the more you can love yourself the way God loves you and others.  And the more you are loved by others, the more you realize how much you are the beloved of God.”

I am only beginning to find this to be true in my life.  At this stage of my journey, God has given me opportunities to be with people who think and live out their understanding of the spiritual journey very differently than I do. Years ago I would have been both judgmental and critical of these folks.  But something has happened in my heart.  As I have come to rest in my belovedness, I have found more openness and even compassion for those who are different from me.  This is truly the work of God’s grace and mercy in my heart.  It has brought me a kind of joy that I never knew when I was more closed and boxed up in myself.

I truly believe that a wild man, a man who has opened his heart to the Lord and is trying to walk by faith, will more and more experience the truth of his belovedness – and in turn will become more compassionate and loving. Many of us men have tried to do our loving through our heads.  It becomes a matter of the will – and something that we “ought” to do.  Those around us often know that it is not sincere or from the heart.  But the man who knows his belovedness in God has nothing to lose and everything to gain by being a more loving man.  God will bless him far beyond his understanding as he walks in the love of God.  Paul prayed that we might “know this love that surpasses knowledge” (Eph. 3:19).  Men don’t try to figure it out.  Lean on your heavenly Father and learn to live out of your belovedness.

One of the struggles for men, wanting to deepen their relationship with God is our struggle with dualistic thinking.  By that I mean, men see their relationship with God more as “God and me” rather then “God in me.”  The “God and me” frame of reference tends to place God outside of ourselves, separated from our real life.  We see our sense of self as being separate and distinct from God.  Parker Palmer cautions that this kind of mind set can easily lead to what he calls, “functional atheism” in which we see ourselves primarily responsible for developing a more intimate relationship with God.  In subtle ways we try to control the relationship, expecting God to fit into the “box” of our expectations.  Our greatest fear is losing control and not fully understanding where God is leading us.  It is difficult to give up the illusion that we are the masters of our destinies

The key to our growth in relationship with God, has to do with what takes place in our hearts.  This is all the work of God.  Remember Paul calls it a “mystery,” “which is Christ in you” (Col 1:27).   While “God and me” helps us maintain a healthy awareness that God is far above and beyond us, it must be balanced with the awareness of “God in us.”  Peter tells us, “Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires (II Pet. 1:4).  We are not comfortable with mystery, especially when it comes to what is going on in our souls.  But if we are going to be changed from the inside out, it must be God’s work.  Our task is “letting go.”

What always needs to be kept before us in our self-consciousness as followers of Jesus, is reality that God is already within.  We are already united with God.  So what is missing for so many men.  It is awareness or realization of who I am in Christ.  There will be no change without this awareness.  We will end up trying to change ourselves.  It is God who produces the fruit of change. “Remain in me, and I will remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me” ( John 15:4).  Gerald May reminds us, “The spiritual life has nothing to do with actually getting closer to God.  It is instead a journey of consciousness.  Union with God is neither acquired nor received; it is realized, and in that sense it is something that can be yearned for, sought after, and – with God’s grace – found.” 

For a wild man I believe Brennan Manning has it right when he talks about a “recovery of passion.”  To have passion is to be affected by what is already in our heart.  Passion says Manning is “the essential energy of the soul.”  He warns against sloth which is “the refusal to go on the inward journey.”  We become paralyzed spiritually when we protect ourselves from passion.  I know there has been a measure of recovering spiritual passion for myself, as I have become aware that I am God’s beloved.  The more I have allowed myself to know me, that good, the bad and the ugly, the more I have come to know my belovedness in God.  In discovering more of my true self I also have come to know God.  For my true self and God are united within.  But don’t try to figure out that reality.  It is hidden from us, as a mystery, so that we don’t get in the way with the need to control and understand.

From time to time I receive comments on the word “wildman.”  Some of the responses are very interesting.  The wives of men who come to “wildman” Saturdays wonder just what goes on in our time together.  My response is, “If they are better husbands at meeting your emotions needs, then it must be good.”  Others are little more apprehensive.  There are women who find the word “wild” almost abusive.  I can understand that kind of sentiment, since women have been victims of much abuse from males.  The one that bothers me the most, comes from men who I sense are defensive about the word “wild.”  I sense in many of these men a defensive posture that has a difficult time in letting go of emotional control, fearful of what they might find if they sink into their hearts.

Paul tells us in II Cor 4:7-8, “We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.”  Later Paul’s says, “That is why we never give up.  Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day” (v 16).  We men are fragile clay jars.  A wild man is one who comes to this realization.  He is able to say with any good AA person, “I admit that I am powerless to fix the brokenness of my life on my own. My life has become unmanageable.”  Gary Moon in his “twelve confessions” rephrases the third step by saying, “I will turn my will and my entire life over to the care of God.  Father, I’m asking for a total transfusion of your will, power, presence and love.” 

A wildman is wild because he can let go, getting in touch with much of his buried emotions, that form a “well of sorrow and grief.”  He can be honest about being powerless to fix his brokenness caused by his conflicting and distorted emotions.  When a man begins to access these deeper emotions, he find his true desire and energy in God.  This become his wildness, because it is beyond his control.  He is now getting in touch with the life of the Spirit.   This is part of the great treasure that Paul talks about.  Strength of character, depth of emotions and consistency in virtue flow from this inner life of the Spirit.  Paul tells that outwardly we might be dying, but the life within is being continually renewed.

So men don’t let anyone cause you to disown the idea of being “wild” for God.  There are just too many men who are niece and proper, having been squeezed into the mold of the culture, afraid of letting go of the controls.  They spend a life time keeping the lid on their true emotions. A wild man is one who is willing, by the grace of God, to take the hand of Jesus, and be lead into true masculine maturity, being able to fully express the whole range of emotions that is unique to each wild man.  What this world needs is more of these”wildmen.”  Remember the true hallmark of these wildmen is humiliy and love.  Humility because they know it is all about God’s grace and love because this is what is at the core of a wildman’s heart

I spent this past weekend at St. Scholastica monastery in Duluth helping with a week-end retreat for folks enrolled in a spiritual direction program.  I am one of the facilitators of the program.   This is my third year in helping.  It has been one of those surprises of God’s grace and favor as I journey with Him during these retirement years. I am amazed to find myself with such a diverse group of seekers after God.  There are many with deep questions of faith prompted by much mistrust in the institutional church.  I hear may stories of hurt and misunderstanding.  Yet these folks have a hunger to know God.

These pilgrims have blest me in our heartfelt dialogue about faith.  I am amazed that God can use me in such a circumstance, when I consider my more narrow and defensive past.  In reflecting on the weekend I thought of this passage in Psalms 124:7, “We have escaped like a bird out of the fowler’s snare; the snare has been broken, and we have escaped.”  Many of these pilgrims feel like they have been put in a “church box” that they have spent most of their adult life trying find freedom.  I am learning that only a loving, caring presence will help them brake free.  I am finding that honest, heartfelt questions, will lead seekers to the truth.  Being a loving presence can be much more helpful then answers. 

I mention this experience in this wildman post, to speak an encouraging word to the men who are reading this blog.  There are many men who have been wounded by their church background, to the point of not being able to trust many of the present expressions of the contemporary Christianity.  My sincere advice to any man who feels he is still trying to brake out of a “religious box” is to keep your mind and heart fixed on Jesus.  Remember he said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).  Remember a wildman is willing to listen to his heart as well as use his mind.  Ask for grace and mercy to face your disappointments, angers, and frustrations with your religious past.  Don’t let the failure of others keep you from the freedom that Christ has for you.

Paul encourages us with these words, “Christ has set us free to live a free life.  So take your stand!  Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you” (Gal. 5:1 – The Message).  When a man is willing to face the pain and disappointment of his religious past, while standing in the light of Jesus Christ, where he can experience love and acceptance for who he is as a man, something is loosed in a man.  He is able to shed “immature and childish” forms of belief and practice, by learning to go forth with the Lord Jesus at his side.  He is a man, coming out of the shadows of his false religious self, braking free from a “religious box” and breathing the fresh air of life in the spirit.  He is becoming a man who can stand straight and erect before the Lord, knowing more of who is in Christ, rather then being identified by his false religious past.  So men, don’t let the box keep you from expressing your true self in Christ.

In previous blogs I have referred to a threshold that men need to cross in their journey with the Lord.  The threshold experience is not just a once and for all event.  There will be many thresholds to cross.  By faith we are being asked to cross over the threshold. It will bring darkness.  Isaiah tells us, “Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant?  Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God” (Is50:10).  Crossing over will mean  a new level of trust. It is at this point that the words of Isaiah 12:2 become real, “I will trust and not be afraid.”  Each threshold confronts us men with the truth that we are not in control, we do not know it all, and that we can not fix our spiritual life. 

You can name crossing  the threshold many things.  I like to call it “the Dark night of the Soul.”  The dark night is the classic explanation for crossing the threshold, given to us by John of the Cross in the 16th century.  So how do you know you are being lead and ask by the gentle voice of the Good Shepherd to go with him to a better place, even though it bring fear and insecurity.  There are three well recognized signs.  Gerald May describes them this way.  First, “the drying up of gratifications and the powerlessness to do anything about it.”  Things are not working the way they used to work in your spiritual life.  Secondly, “lack of deep-down motivation to return to the old ways.”  A person senses that there is more to the spiritual life.  Thirdly, the surest sign.  “There is a deep heartfelt desire to be alone with God in fellowship with him.”   There is unrest in the heart, yet a sense of peace that this is the way to go. 

The great encouragement that I got from reviewing May’s book is the awareness that the dark night is a good thing, even a joyful experience.  The dark night happens to us all.  The reason we don’t recognize what is going on, is due to the fact that we have not been taught the truth of the dark night.  This was true for me, when I first encountered this teaching over 20 years ago.  Since then I have had to cross the threshold many times.  In our culture we want to know and be in control.  This easy spills over into our spiritual life, especially as men.  But in the dark night we are not in control and we have to live with “obscurity.” 

Listen to these encouraging words fromMay. The dark night, “is a deep transformation, a movement toward indescribable freedom and joy.  And in truth it doesn’t always have to be unpleasant….The dark night is a profoundly good thing.  It is an ongoing spiritual process in which we are liberated from attachments and compulsions and empowered to live and love more freely.”  He further points out that John of the Cross has been seriously misinterpreted and misunderstood.  The dark night is not a sinister or negative experience.  “It is, instead, a deeply encouraging vision of the joys and pains we all experience in life.”  So be encouraged, men.  Beyond the darkness is the braking of the dawn and new life.  But first we need to go in trust through the threshold and be lead into the darkness.

Recently I have been rereading Gerald May’s very helpful book entitled, “The Dark Night of the Soul.”  It is about the spirituality of St. John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila.  I must admit that over 20 years ago, when I first encountered the concept of the “dark night” I was confused and uncertain as to the biblical basis for the explanation of the dark night.  But I soon came to the awareness, with the help of a spiritual friend, that I was indeed experiencing to dark night.  Since those early encounters, I have experienced the dark night on a rather regular basis.  So looking back in hindsight, I can give testimony to the validity and spiritual benefit of the dark night for myself as a young man. 

The reason for sharing my story is to reflect on a comment on one of May’s insights.”  He states that for John of the cross, God uses the dark night “to darken our awareness in order to keep us safe….the night is dark for our protection.”  When we cry out for God’s help to live as followers of Jesus, he takes us at our word.  He will lead us where we do not want to go.”  Why?  May tells us why.  “We cannot liberate ourselves; our defenses and resistences will not permit it, and we can hurt ourselves in the attempt.  To guide us toward the love that we most desire, we must be taken where we could not and would not go on our own.  And lest we sabotage the journey, we must not know where we are going.”

Trust me, men.  In the dark night, God is setting us free from all our attachments and diseased desires, so that we might experience his love and respond to the deeper longings that God has put in our heart.  This becomes the experience of a wildman; getting in touch with his true passions and desires.  God wants to bring about a transformation in our souls, that leads to freedom for desire, not a freedom from desire.  In other words, God does not want us to become less of a man, but more of a man, being able to express more fully the deepest range of emotions and desires.  The life that God has for us in Jesus is one of liberation not suppression.  Too many men think of a heart-felt relationship with God means suppression of our manliness.  NO.  It is the liberation of our manliness.  But it is done on God’s terms, because we will always mess up the process

So again as it says in AA, we have to let go and let God.  When it comes to our desires and emotions we must confess that our life is unmanageable.  We can’t get bring order to our inner life.  God does this in the dark night.  We have to let go and let the work of God happen on his terms and in his timing.  We have to learn to trust the process.  Trusting the process is the experience of the dark night.  Trust me men, it feels like a dark night when all your familiar spiritual props are taken away.  Think again of Abraham and his walk of faith.  “By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God’s call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home.  When He left he had no idea where he was going” (Hebrews 11:8 – The Message). 

I will be saying more about the dark night in later blogs.  I have referred to the dark night because I think of the experience as a key component in the development of a wildman.  As I have said in previous post, when a man comes to the threshold and as asked to go into the tunnel, trusting only in the grace and mercy of God, he has a choice.  Either he goes ahead in faith, or he turns back to what is familiar and safe.  He then forfeits opportunity to become a wildman.  I pray that God will raise up a whole new generation of wildmen who will be the salt the light in this day.

Last weekend I was at Scholastic in Duluth working with the sisters particiapting in our spiritual direction program.   Sister Jean gave us the assignment of writing a letter to God, giving us a self-addressed envelope that would be sent to us during the next week.  When I addressed my letter to “Abba” Father, I began to weep.  For a brief time I was not able to stop.  I realized, as a result of that unexpected experience, that I had truly come know God as my “Abba” Father.  I recalled Brennan Manning referring to his “Abba” experience as the most profound of his life.  I am truly grateful to God, for beinig so merciful and gracious to me on my spiritual journey, so that I might know him as my “Abba.”  To know God as “Abba’  is to experience an intimacy with God that is beyond words.  It is a knowing of the heart.  I believe that our Heavenly Father desires all his children to know him as their “abba.”

Coming to an awareness of this relationship is not an achievement or the result of being seen as more worthy then other fellow travelers on the journey.  It is sheer grace and gift.   Awareness of our neediness of intimacy with God and our desire for relationship with Him is the one qualification.  This desire is a natural part of our spiritual DNA, put there by our heavenly Father.  He desires our friendship.  Jesus is the means of fullfilling this desire.  Think of its as coming home to the place you were always meant to be.  Jesus tells us, “The Father has given me all these things to do and say.  This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of Father and Son intimacies and knowledge.  No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does.  But I’m not keeping it to myself.  I’m ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen” (Matt 11:27 – The Message).  Jesus has promised us to continue to make the Father know in his prayer for us in John 17.  “I have made your very being know to them – Who you are and what you do – and continue to make it known,  so that your love for me might be in them exactly as I am in them” (John 17:26 – The Message). 

In my letter to God, I committed myself to be an instrument to be used by “Abba” in any way that he sees fit to help other men know thier heavenly Father as Abba.  A “wildman” is a man who has come to peace in the presence of his heavenly Father.  This means an awareness of knowing his is a child in  the loving care of his Abba.  Understanding a wildman as a child seems like a counterdiction.  But remember the words of Jesus in Matt. 18:3-4, “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever humbles himself  like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”  I recall the words of Twila Paris song from some years ago entitled, “The warrior is a child.”  To the world this just does not make sense.  But for a man who is becoming a wildman it makes perfect sense.  Only when I give up and surrender to Abba do I experience the strength to be a wildman.  Remember the Lord told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” ( II Cor 12:9).  A man vulnerable before God is given strength to be strong.  That is the posture of a wildman.

I have to admit to whoever is reading my blog, that there are days when I begin to get negative and slightly depressed when I view what is going on in our nation. I have to continually guard against a “negative spirit.”   I can easily get fearful and start worrying.  I become concerned about the future.  So what pulls me out of my slump?  What gets me facing daily life with a positive attitude again?  Well, I have to admit that my wife is a great encouragement.  She is a very positive person, who has been the biggest encourager in my spiritual journey.

Howcver, the exercise that brings me back to a positive view of life is knowing that I belong to the Kingdom of God, in which Jesus is Lord.  I simply have to trust that Jesus is in charge and that the reign of His kingdom is active in my life.  I remember that Jesus taught us to pray, “thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”  In that prayer I am declaring the Lordship of Jesus in my life and the culture I live in.  I find great comfort in knowing that I am under the protection of the Lordship of Christ.  If I have any doubts, I need to feed my mind with scriptures such as Colossians 1:17-18,  which says in part,   “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”  Wow, what a thought!  All things around me are held together by the Lord Jesus.

A wild man will not ashamed to talk about the Lordship of Jesus.  The name of “Jesus” should be a natural part of his conversation.   He is one who gladly puts himself, as an act of his will, under the Lordship of Jesus.  Listen to these words from I Peter 5:5-ff.  Being under the Lordship of Jesus means that we clothe of lives with humility. “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”  God opposes the tendencies of pride in our lives, but he takes care of these who are under His hand. I find comfort in knowing that I can give all my anxieties upon him. 

This kind of attitude toward modern life is countercultural.  A wildman just doesn’t fit the typical description of the modern male.  Gary Moon in his book “Apprenticeship with Jesus” qutoes A. W Tozer on this point.  “A real Christian is an odd number anyway.  He feels supreme love for one whom he has never seen.  He talks familiarly every day to someone he cannot see, expects to go to heaven on the virtue of another, empties himself in order that he might be full, admits he is wrong so he can be declared right, goes down in order to get up.  He is strongest when he is weakest, richest when his poorest, and happiest when he feels worst.  He dies so he can live, forsakes in order to have, give away so he can keep, sees the invisible, hears the inaudible, and knows that which passeth knowledge.”

Civility in America is breaking down.  People debate the direction of our nation with a passion that at times can be expressed in anger.  This public expression of heart felt descent has always been a healthy part of our cultural fabric.  But today it seems to have boiled over to a new level.  There is talk of “hate speech” and acts of violence.  This is not good.  What keeps coming to my mind is “The Little Way” of St. Therese of Lisieux in which the Christian life is summoned up as “loving one another as I have loved you.”  Therese said, “Holiness does not consist in this or that practice but in a disposition of heart which remains always humble and little in God’s arms, but trusting to audacity in the Father’s goodness.”  So for me two important watchword words for wildmen in the days to come would “humility” and “love.” 

“The way of humility” is the way of Jesus.  “Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself.  He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what.  Not at all.  When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human (Phil 2:5-7 The Message).  The way of humility for a wildman is willing to give it all up for Jesus and become a slave.  This is the way of greatness according to Jesus. “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all” (Mark 10:43).  A servant for Jesus’s sake learns to walk in humility, not in arrogance, anger, vindictiveness and rancor.  I have to remind myself of this reality often in these days.  It is the “little way”, the way of humility, in following Jesus that will bring the presence of Christ into our conflicted world

“The way of love” is learning to love the way Jesus loved.  For me that is impossible.  But we have these words from Jesus.  “A new command I give you; love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” ( John 13:34-5).   Notice that Jesus tells us to love as we have been loved.  I first of all have to receive love before I can be loving in return.  That means opening my heart to receive the love of Jesus in the deepest parts of my soul. I have to come out of hiding and allow myself to be loved.   Truly knowing that I am loved in all “my stink” gives me the God given desire to love in return.  That is how a wild man will be seen as a disciple; if we are able to love.  I have to check myself every day, sometimes often during the day.  I have judgmental attitudes, actions that are not caring, and thoughts that are not constructive of others.  My ability to love is to reminded of how I have experienced the love of God and ask for help to let that love flow from me. 

So in a day when a lot of men are taking up sides even with the church, there is a crying need for the “little way” of Theresa.  The little way of humility and love will be countercultural.  It will be misunderstood by other men.  At times you will be made fun of.  You might even be persecuated to some degree.  It was the same for Jesus.  He reminds us, “No servant is greater than his master.  If they persecuted me, they will presecute you also’ ( John 15:20).  Listen to these comforting words from The Message.  “Count yourself blessed every time someone cuts you down or throws you out, every time someone smears or blackens your name to discredit me.  What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and that that person is uncomfortable.  You can be glad when that happens – skip like a lamb, if you like! – for even though they don’t like it, I do…..and all heaven applauds.  And know that you are in good company; my preachers and witnesses have always been treated like this” (Luke 22-23)