Category: Wildman Journey (Page 71 of 87)

I have referred to James Houston in previous posts.  When I was beginning to enter the deep stream of  historic spirituality, with its emphasis on spiritual formation and direction, Dr Houston was my shining light.  I consider him my mentor in the faith over the last 20 years.  In his book “Heart’s Desire” he makes this statement, “The unsatisfied longing for God is what drives human beings above all else.”  I have been pondering longings and desires as I prepare for another “wildman Saturday” here at canaan.  The talk of desire, longings and especially passions has been a difficult area for me and most men I have known.  Christian men can be confused and troubled by desires. Yet the Psalmist exhorts us with these words, “Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart.”

So what about deep desires?  They are the result of being created in the image of God.  God has so constituted a man to have deep desires.  They are not to be denied. These desires are meant to lead to intimacy with God.  That’s why they are desires.  “The journey of desire” observes David Benner,”may lead us to byways and cul-de-sacs, but if we follow it we will utimately be led to the Divine Beloved.  We may not know what it is we long for but our deepest longings are God given because they always point toward the Divine.”  I want to say an “amen” to his observation.  I spend a lot of years trying to either deny or feel shame about some of my deepest desires.  But since I have befriended my desires, embraced them, and examined them in the awareness of God’s love for me, I have tasted more freedom and authenticity.  It causes me to be more fully alive, rather than trying to be in control.

So I have two observation about desires.  First you are a man with deep desires and passions.  Some are good and some are not very pleasing in God’s sight.  But guess what!  God sees the “fire in your belly.”  He knows that there is a lot of sorting out to do.  You are a product of background with a unique story to tell.  You have “molten desires” that have affected you and others around you.  Don’t live in denial or in some kind of spiritual improvement program to get control.  You will never be able to do it.  My advice is to let it all out before the Lord – the good, the bad and the ugly.  Bring it all into the light, allowing God to sort out your confused cauldron of desires.  Listen to Paul advice in Ephesians, “Expose these things for the sham they are.  It’s a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see.  Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ” (Eph 5:11-12 – The Message)

The second observation is that of trying to crucify our passions and desires.  That is what I was doing during my early years of walking with the Lord.  I didn’t know any better; there was no teaching or any mentor to help me.  But thankful I learned through the rich spiritual tradition that there are passions and desires that are from God.  Many of the great mystics who have so deeply influenced to tradition were passionate lovers of God.  Yes, there are disorder desires that need to brought into the light.  But in this blog I want to shout it out.  “Allow yourself to taste your deepest desires.”  Don’t go around trying to be this niece, docile man of God.  You have God given passion that is to be expressed uniquely through your personality and life story.  Yes, you fill face some cross currents of disordered desires, but you will also begin to sense your unique godly drive and passion.  Go for it, even when the seas get little rough as you shift through what is godly and what is ungodly. Come out of that cave of darkness and into the liberating light of God’s love and grace found in Jesus.

As I write this morning (28th) my heart is very focused on my inheritance and the inheritance that Judy and I have together in the Lord.  Scripture is full of illustrations of receiving an inheritance.  An inheritance is something that has been entrusted to you, sometimes at a deep cost.  God has given his children an inheritance of eternal life, made possible by the death of his son.  I Peter 1:3 tells us that we have received, “an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.  This inheritance is kept in heaven for you…”  What I feel deeply this morning is the inheritance I have received from others and in turn my responsibility to pass on to my family a godly inheritance.  “A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children (Prov 13:22).

I am blessed to have married into my wife family (the Seburgs).  I have been enriched and nurtured by the spiritual heritage that Stan and Doris so humbly and graciously passed down to my family, both spiritually and materially.  I am very aware that I have a responsibility to pass that on to my family. To that I am committed.  I do not know what is ahead for Judy and I, but I know that we are committed to passing on a “godly seed” to our children and grandchildren.  Some years ago as I was struggling regarding this issue I read Ps. 37 over many times.  The following was  encouragement and a challenge to me. “The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care, and their inheritance will endure forever.  In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty (v 21-22).  There is something lasting and enduring about a godly inheritance. 

Men, how aware are you of what you are passing on to your children.  Here are three factors to consider when you think of passing on a godly inheritance.  First, you have received an inheritance.  The fact that you are reading this blog gives an indication tha.t you are concerned about your spiritual life. This is the mercy of God having touched you through the life of others who have gone before.  Never forget, that you stand on the spiritual life imparted to you through others who have gone before you.   Secondly, you will have to “fight” so that your godly inheritance may passed on to your family.  I like to think of it as inheriting the land, similar to the people of Israel.  It was given to them, but they to fight.  When you fight to maintain your heritage and pass it on, you do so with the weapons of love and humility. “But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity” (Ps 37:11).  A godly inheritance does not come cheaply. 

Finally when you think of passing on your inheritance, the biggest contributor to your legacy is who you were in the Lord.  Listen to how the Message translates Matt 5:5, “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are – no more, no less.  That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”  What you pass on to your family can’t be bought.  It is all about what God has done in you.  So this morning, I plead with each man who is read this blog, commit yourself anew to a godly inheritance.   There will be temptations to compromise, doubts about the path ahead and those who will attempt to hijack your inheritance by discrediting who you are.  Determine to be a man of integrity.

Take to heart these words that God gave to young Joshua as he was about to lead the people of God into their inheritance; the promised land. “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life.  As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them (Joshua 1:5-6).   So take heart, men  – be strong and courageous.  Don’t let anything and anyone rob you of your inheritance and what God is calling you to pass on to your family.

Many of the men who read this blog are familiar by now with the Chinese dissident Chen Guangcheng and his difficulty with the Chinese government. He has displayed great courage in his fight for freedom of expression.  Chen, who is blind, is part of what is called the “weiquan movement.”  It’s a group of lawyers, activists, intellectuals and ordinary citizens who aim to push the boundaries of reform by using China’s existing laws and courts to defend human rights.  What is little know is that this group is overwhelmingly Christian.  For his efforts, Chan has served 51 months in prison and has been under house arrest.  He wants his freedom.  But at this time he and his family faces a very uncertain future.

I mention this man and his story, to point out the need for men in our day, to have the courage to stand for what is right and truthful in our culture. Eric Metaxas has written a wonderful book on the German theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and his willingness to draw a line in the sand when Nazi Germany tried to restrict religious liberty. Many are beginning to see parallels in our culture with the encroachment of the state in the realm of religion.  Much of German society, along with a good segment of the church gave in to Hitler.  But Bonh0effer like Chen responded to the restrictions on religious liberty by the government at great personal risk.  Charles Colson, whose blog I have read almost daily, has now gone to be with the Lord.  But in the last years he warned repeatedly about the fact that we are losing our “religious liberty” in this nation.  I for one have begun to take notice of this  emerging reality, while many “church” men seem to be “asleep” to the eroding of our religious liberties as Christians   

As Scott McNight has pointed out on his blog that, “for Bonhoeffer, truth was connected to relationships, and even more to reality, and even more to God’s reality, and God’s reality is found in the truthful Word of Jesus Christ.  To tell the truth must mean entering into the reality of God’s Word in Christ in the words we use.  ‘What is real is to be expressed in words.’  His (Bonfoeffer) expression for this is ‘living truth.”  Men there comes a time when we have to discern if we are standing on solid ground.  Solid ground is the truth found in Jesus.  This is reality; the way things are.  Not the  reality as portrayed by many in the media as well as politicans or educators. Standing on the “living truth” in Jesus can make a man courageous. 

My challenge to myself as I write this blog is to be a man of courage and stand for the truth as I have come to know in Jesus Christ.  As Jesus stood before Pilate he said, “In fact, for this reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth.  Everyone on the side of truth listen to me” (John 18:37). Courage means saying yes to what is right and taking the right action even at the risk of pain or loss.  A courageous man knows what is right and will stick with the truth.  As Metaxas pointed out in a blog, “We’re facing a challenge in America today that’s going to require a good dose of courageous stick-to-itevness. The challenge is defending religious liberty.”

As God’s people were about to go and take possession of the promised land, God exhorted them repeatedly be courageous and not afraid.  Moses told young Joshua, “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).  Men, we don’t know where the journey will take us in the coming days.  There is a lot of uncertainty in our nation.  But we are following Jesus along with many other brothers in Christ.  We have come to know the truth in Jesus Christ.  That is ultimate reality.  So let’s go forward as men of integrity, standing courageously for the truth in Jesus.

I had an experience today here on the lake, that I knew I had to write about on this blog.  As most of you know, Judy and I have a small retreat house on the lake where we live.  I call ourselves a “monk” and a “nun.”  This gives us a focus as to what our life is all about here on Man lake.  I am not a big fisherman and don’t get into a fishing boat that often.  So I am a bit “sports challenged” when it comes to being a northwoods fisherman.  At 70 I am starting a new learning curve.

Well, I have partnered with my son Kurt, to begin using his 16 ‘ boat to do some fishing.  But today was not a good start to this partnership.  I had to take the boat through a narrow and shallow channel to another lake in order to put the boat on a trailer to bring for repairs.  I had not taken a boat that big through the channel before.  It was windy and I had to use a small trolling motor for the first time to maneuver the boat.  Judy’s uncle, Stanton, who is an “expert” in everything to do with fishing, was kind enough to help me get the boat unto the trailer. Thank you, Stanton.  

Now for the kicker!  I had a very difficult time getting the boat through the channel as well as setting it up to get on the trailer.  Stanton watched patiently while brother Al tried his best to get the boat to cooperate.  Needless to say, I was embarrassed, humilated and frustrated at my lack of “boating skills.”  Here I was failing in the presence of the recognized “expert fisherman” of our lake.  I know at least one other neighbor witnessed my plight as well.  As I struggled, I realized that I did not feel shame, nor was I self condemning in ways that I have been in the past when I was feeling such failure in the presence of another “male expert.” 

I not sure why, but the passage that came to me was from Hosea 11:4.  I take this passage personally for myself.  “I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love.  To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them.”  I simply had the sensation that my heavenly Father was tenderly loving me in my moment of shame and embarrassment.  I could ever joke about myself with uncle Stanton, saying “hold on, I going to make it.”  I could accept the reality that I am simply “a monk” living on the lake and am not an “expert fisherman.”  I could say to myself, “It is o.k. to feel like a failure.  This is not that important to your well being and the sense of who you are, Al.” “Wow,” I thought, “this is real growth for a you, Al.”

Men, I give this testimony for anyone of you who get into situations where you feel shame or embarassment about who you are.  What has made the difference for me is that I have learned to receive the love that my heavenly Father has for me in being just who I am and not for what I do.  Experiencing God’s love for you at the heart level, will begin to free you from the need to present yourself as someone you are not.  You will be able to face reality.  Reality is who you really are, not who you pretend to be.   This bring freedom and acceptance.  I felt some of that today.  I was surprised but it brought joy to my heart.

I have been reading a fascinating book by Tanya Luhrmann entitled “When God talks back: Understanding the American Evangelical Relationship with God.”  Luhrmann is a professor of anthropology at Stanford.  For the past 10 years she has been researching the way evangelical Christians talk with God.  Recently she had an article in Christianity Today in which she addressed the question of why women pray more then men.  She references a 2008 Pew U.S. Religious Landscape Survey which found that two-thirds of all women surveyed pray daily, while less than half of all men surveyed do.  So she was asking why.  Her conclusion “Women pray more because women are more comfortable with their imagination, and in order to pray, you need to use your imagination.”

I can personally identify with her conclusions regarding men.  For years I was either confused regarding my imagination or completely disregard this vital part of my personhood. I was even told it was dangerous to my spiritual life.  I was afraid that my imagining would lead me astray from the truth of Scripture.  I am writing this blog, however, to encourage men to embrace their God given gift of intuition and imagination.  While God certainly can’t be a product of our imagination, the truth is that if we are to know God intimately we will need to use our imagination, because as Luhrmann observes, “the imagination is the means humans must use to know the immaterial.”  C.S. Lewis who used the imagination to reach many for Christ had a chapter in Mere Christianity entitled “Let’s Pretend.”  “Let’s pretend,”Lewis writes, “to turn the pretence into a reality.”

With our imagination we are able to know truth through mental images as well as through rational concepts and intellectual concepts.  “We live by a world picture as well as a world view.  Spiritual experience consists not only of theological concepts, such as God’s attributes and the commands asserted in the Bible, but also of images like light and darkness….The imagination gives us spiritual knowledge in the form of  ‘right seeing.'” (Leland Ryken).  Luhrmann by means of a psychological scale for “absorption,” which measures a person’s capacity and interest in being caught up in the imagination, found that women scored more highly then men (Men, do you read romantic novels).   This can explain in part why men so often feel less spiritual then women.  They can easily beat themselves up for not being a good Christian like their wife.  Could it be that part of the problem is the lack of imagination with us guys?

I have become convinced that men simply have a harder time in simply “receiving God’s unconditional love.”  This goes back to our lack of imaginative experience.  While most men reading this blog know intellectual that God loves them, many have not been able to receive the reality into their hearts.  My answer has become – “You have to sit there and simply let yourself be loved.”  This implies the use of the imagination.  One of my favorite verse in this regard is Ps 27:8, “My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’  Your face, Lord, I will seek.”  I tell men that they need to imagine God looking at them in love, and then imagine  themselves in the presence of God.  Men need to do this with a humble, child-like trust in the love of God.  After a time it will begin to sink into their hearts.  But let me warn you, the more you think about it the further you will be moved from the realityknow you are loved. You will end up going around and around in your mind.  It comes when you imagine yourself  being  loved by God, using your imagination and intuition.  I know this from experience in my life and those of other men.  So I encourage you to do some “pretending.”

“Be the last of a dying breed, it’s time that we man up.”  This is the last line of the “Man Up Anthem” from the Christian rap group 116 Clique. The song helped launch a growing campaign by the Christian Rapper, Lecrae to get young men in hip-hop culture to “man up” as responsible husbands and fathers.  “Father absence is a systemic problem… that’s proven to lead to higher rates of gang violence, incarceration and suicide. As of 2007, the national rate of children born to single mothers was 40%.  According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, 24 million American children – one in three – live in homes without their biological fathers.”  So, where are the men?  They definitely need to man up.

When I thought about this slogan, I thought of Paul’s words in Ephesians 6, as he describes the spiritual battle we are in: “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes (11).  He also declares, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand (13).  Three times we are exhorted to stand.  I would suggest that when we man up, we take a stand. 

Taking clues from Paul, men need to know that they are in a battle. The real issues are not economic, political, and social, but spiritual.  It is a spiritual battle between Satan and the kingdom of God. I have taught for years that the real problem with our culture is what Derek Prince called “renegade fathers.”  Until fathers and young men come to see who they are and can be in God, they will never begin to own up to their responsibilities.  Why?  Because the culture takes them “off the hook.”  The enemy will do all he can to break down the family. That starts with renegade fathers.  I know this is not a popular view, but it is truth that has to be proclaimed. 

I have changed my approach to fathers and young men over the years.  I used to get after men and almost shamed them into facing up to their responsibilities.  But now I believe that a better approach is to appeal to a man’s deepest desires and instincts. When a man is embraced with love and compassion, he’s able to get beyond his defenses and pay attention to his heart. Once a man really gives his heart to Jesus, things begin to change.  Only the transformation of the heart will bring a new sense of wanting to be responsible for his role in the family as husband and father.

Lecrae addresses father absence saying, “Young African American males [are] immediately an example for other African American males in the community at large. Not only are the young men challenged and encouraged by this, but also the young ladies, because they get to see what they should be looking for and how to encourage their brothers in the direction of taking leadership and responsibility.”  I think this is a good challenge for all men.  I know I take it that way.  As a grandfather, father, and husband, I know that my grandsons are watching me. They especially watch how I treat their grandmother.  At church I know that the wives watch my actions.  So I hope that you, like me, are still willing to “man up.”  As Paul puts it: “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.  Do everything in love” (I Cor. 16:13).

I want to start this blog with a prayer by Thomas Merton.  It is from his book “Thoughts in Solitude.”  I have now come across several other sources quoting this prayer.  I will mention my reasons for reflecting with you on this prayer after you read the prayer and reflect on its meaning for you. “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.  I cannot see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end.  Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.  But, I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.  And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.  I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.  And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.  Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost in the shadow of death.  I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

There could be possibly three responses to this prayer among the men who read this blog.  The first one would be one of dismay, that a man such as Merton would be praying a prayer which seems to reflect such doubt and uncertainty in the midst of desire to know God.  A second response would be, “Wow.”  He is describing the condition of my soul at this stage in my journey.  A third response is that of someone who has gone through “the tunnel of darkness.”  The man is saying “Yes I know what he is talking about.  I’ve been there and have learned the blessing of the “dark night.” 

I have a thought for each of these responses.  For the first response I have a concern.  Why!  That is where I was in the early days of my journey.  It was at a time when I had “God in a box.”  Things needed to be black and white.  I wanted to have a solution and an answer.  There were plenty of people who could offer their solutions.  The result was I would get “stuck in the familiar.”  I wanted some control.  If this is you, I strongly encourage you to let God out of your box.  You will not grow in maturity when you are in charge of your spiritual self improvement projects.  I know – I was there and can still slip into that pattern.

As for the second response.  Merton’s prayer will bring you hope and encouragement.  There is no answers or solutions to where you are on the journey.  You know you are in a tunnel where there seems to be no light.  What is critical is the desire of our heart.  That is what God sees.  You know in your heart is your desire is for God.  That was Merton’s prayer.  “I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.”  So I encourage the man that is in that dark place.  Hang on to Jesus with the faith He has given you, no matter what.  I promise you that you will see light at the other end of the tunnel.

The third response.  One of praise and thanksgiving.  There are men who can say “yes.”  They have been in those dark times.  There was stress, anxiety and even doubt.  But they hung unto Jesus and came through the tunnel.  I like to think of the words of Ps 18:19, “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”  This is a God created space, that bring more authenticity, peace, joy and freedom.  I know because I have come through several tunnels of darkness.  I know it will happen again.  But I believe I have learned that this is the way the God grows the male soul.  There does not seem to be another way, except through “tunnel of darkness.”

Judy and I have just returned from spending a couple days with our grand kids in Kansas City, Ks.  I usually learn some spiritual lesson as I spend time with the kids.  This time it was related to the time I spend with my four year old grandson, Grant.  He and I made a trip up the hill to the park to play in the sand that covered the volleyball court.  We brought along a tonka trunk and bulldozer to do some “dirty work.”  We were both “pumped” to get “down and dirty.”  It was great fun – just Grant and dear old grandpa. I was just hoping that no one else would see a 70 year old man getting “down and dirty” in the sand. 

As I was playing on my hands and knees with Grant, I just got the sense that my “Abba” Father in heaven wanted me to know that his love reaches down to my lowest place, that is, into the dirt of my soul.  Philippians makes it very clear that Jesus came down to our level.  “When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human.  Having become human, he stayed human.  It was an incredibly humbling process” (Phil 2:7-8 – The Message).  While Grant and I were getting dirty physically, I struggle with being  spiritually dirty.  I am learning to be a “beloved sinner.”  My dirt does not keep Jesus away.  He is right there with me, wanting me to turn to him.  My problem has been shame, guilt and vulnerability.  This has kept the focus on me and not Jesus, hindering me from seeing Jesus with me in the dirt.   

Listen to what Robert Mulholland says regarding  this very point.  He talks of “the cruciform love of Christ” for fallen humanity.  How is this love expressed. Not just in ideas or some outward expression.  But in the very depth of our soul, that is, in our dirt.  In those hidden places that we have not exposed to the love of God.   “When we turn away from God’s love and become a self-referenced person….Christ’s love continues to enfold and indwell us, now as a cruciform love at the heart of our false self.  Even when we are most alienated from God by our self-referenced life, we are still loved.”   This I am finally starting to grasp.  God really loves me in my dirt.  My heavenly Father first comes to me in love.  It is the fear of surrender on my part that keeps him from being with me in my dirt.

So playing there in the dirt with Grant, God was speaking to me while I’m played.  Grant just went about enjoying making trails with his bulldozer.  He was as peaceful and content as a little guy could be in the dirt.  He know it was safe and secure with grandpa being present in the dirt with him.  While I was doing my best to enter into the moment, I was also aware of the surroundings, my aching body, along with the time element.  Oh, to be more like Grant in my dirt.  Learning to surrender to the present moment with all my dirt is not easy.  But maybe I learned something there on the hill in the dirt.  It does not matter what I think or feel; my heavenly Father has come all the way into my dirt in Jesus.  He just waits for me to be willing to surrender to his “cruciform love.” He is right there loving me not as I should be but just as I am in the dirt.

It is a known reality that men are much better at compartmentalizing their inner life.  For example, we can separate our thoughts from our feelings, whereas women in generally are much more in touch with how they feel and what they sense intuitively. Most men feel totally lost when the discussion move from the head to the heart.  But in isolating our emotions we should not consider them as not having influence in our life.  Rather, when we ignore our deep emotions such as fear, anger, guilt and shame, they gain strength and can become unruly.  Just as your wife.  She will confirm what I am saying.  She knows what are your “hot buttons.”

Men, we need to face reality.  We need to think of our inner life as a whole.   What we call “I” is really a family of many part-selves that we either ignore or dismiss altogether, especially the ones that make us feel vulnerable, such as our broken and wounded self.  Listen to David Benner, one of my favorite spiritual writers. “Christian spirituality involves acknowledging all our part-selves, exposing them to God’s love and letting him weave them into the new person he is making….we must be willing to welcome these ignored parts as full members of the family of self, giving them space at the family table and slowly allowing them to be softened and healed by love and integrated into the whole person we are becoming.”  Take it from me, these are words of real spiritual wisdom.

Here are some reasons why this statement reflects so much wisdom, at least in my experience.  First of all, I hide my real self for years behind the appearance of being a “niece Christian man.”  Why?  Because there were parts of my person that were not welcomed to the family table.  They are aspects of my personality that I would hide about myself, while feeling shame and guilt.  I learned as a child to hide and pretend.  Secondly, I have finally come to see that I can expose who I really am in the presence of God and be met not with judgment or disapproval, but with unconditional love.  This is very liberating.  My heavenly Father knows all my hidden parts.  He just has waited for me to bring them to the table so that he could bring healing to my divided heart. 

As a result I have found more healing for my masculine soul.  Remember, men and this is important.  You do not create your new self in Christ.  This is the work of God.  You can spend years going around and around in your rational, male mind, trying to create an acceptable version of a Christian man.  You can’t do it.  You will get discourage and want to give up.  Only God can take all your family members, the good, the bad and the ugly and weave them into the man you were destined to be from eternity.  Remember the words of Jesus, “No one cuts up a fine silk scarf to patch old work clothes; you want fabrics that match.  And you don’t put your wine in cracked bottles” (Matt. 9:16-17 – The Message)   

So take it from me, a “recovering Pharisee.” Ask Jesus, the healer of the soul,for grace and mercy to be  able to bring all the members of your family to the table of grace.  You will not like all the family members.  But remember, they have been a part of the real you.  You will never change until you stop being hostile or indifferent to some of your family members. You need to show them hospitality.  Something begins to change when you bring all your members into the light and share them with Jesus.  You could say, that Jesus sits with you at the table and helps you accept and become reconciled to who you have really been all your life.  You find that nothing is wasted.  Paul puts it this way, “…then take on an entirely new way of life – a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you” (Eph. 4:23-4 – The Message)