Category: Wildman Journey (Page 71 of 85)

Well it is here – March Madness.  I’m going with Michigan State and coach Tom Izzo.  I grew up a UPer, that is, a native of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  Tom Izzo is a UPer from Iron Mountain.  So I say, go Sparky.  I say all this about the my roots, because in my youth I didn’t believe that I fit into the “Divine Bracket” of God’s love.  It was when I moved away to California that I discovered the wonderful reality of God’s love for me.  Up until that time I was not assured of God’s love.  There was a separation that I felt, that produced a deep loneliness after I graduated for high school.  But since that time in 1960 I have grown in my understanding of God’s love for me as being unconditional.  However, the awareness of and acceptance of  God’s “furious longing” for me has taken a long time to actualize in myh heart and spirit.  So at my age (70) I have a passion to communicate this reality to men in particular.

So in Divine Bracketology, you don’t have to worry if you and in or out.  If you or anyone you know is “on the bubble” I want to say confidently that if you surrender and put your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, you are “in” the great dance.  I use the word “surrender” deliberately.  You can know about and ever accept God’s love.  But when you surrender, you learn to trust.  We as men have a difficult time “letting go.”  But I have found that as I surrender to God’s love in my vulnerability, guilt and shame, I really get it.  God really does love me just the way I am.  I don’t have to doubt about whether I am in or not.  “This is the kind of love we are talking about – not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done in our relationship with God” (I John 4:10-11 – The Message)

One more thing about “Divine Bracketology.”  You will never be eliminated from the great dance.  Once you are in, you are in.  Your heavenly Father longs to have you come into a restful assurance of his love for you.  If you have doubt about his unconditional love for you, if you were like me, you will be fearful of God on some level, not able to rest in his love.  I know I felt that I have to “perform” so that I could have a sense God’s acceptance of me.  That was a hopeless trap for me to be caught in.  I could never please God or make myself into what I thought was a “good Christian man.”  No, the thing that I know about myself at this stage in my life is this: 1) I am a deeply flawed man, 2) God calls me his beloved and 3) I am a work in progress.  It is vital that I keep the sequence in order.  I have no illusions about my “stink.”  But my stink does not get me down. as it did in the past.  I keep my gaze on that unconditional love.  The psalmist put it well.  “My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’  Your face, Lord, I will seek ” (Ps 27:8).

Any man who is a sports fan knows all about “the big Dance.”  That is the name that has evolved to describe “March Madness.”  This is the time of year when 64 division I basketball teams are invited into a tournament that will eventually crown a winner.  I thoroughly enjoy March madness.  I get into the competition, the passion of the young players and the emotions of winning and losing.  The players and their coaches give all they have for this one moment. There is a lot to learn from the experience of these young men about the game of life.  But in this blog I want to briefly mention three other dances

The first is “the Great Dance.”  C.S. Lewis described our being invited into the life of the Trinity as being part of the Great Dance, that has been going on from all eternity.  Some years ago, when I finally realized that I was invited to participate in the life of the Trinity, the great dance was a helpful visual for men.   The essence of the Trinity is a loving community of three persons.  The love found within the triune God is one that reaches out to include.  We are invited into this dance because God created us in his image, so that we might share the life that emanates from life within the Trinity.  Picture yourself in the middle of a circle with three persons dancing with you and around  you.  My favorite verse describing these reality is John 17:26, “I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have fro me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”  The image of the great dance has made the life of the Trinity become very real to me.  I can participate and belong within, because the Father send Jesus, to bring me home.  Home is life within the Trinity. Wow!

The second dance is “the sacred dance.”  I got this idea from Richard Rohr.  He compares men who are part of “the sacred dance” and to those who are still in a “the survival dance.”  What a contrast between “sacred” and “survival.”  There is a huge difference in lifestyle, motivation and focus.  The guy in the survival dance is all about himself.  He is caught in his small, cramped, and suffocating egocentric world.  He has a fortress mentality, trying to survive by his own wits.   He might include God, but only because God can help with his “personal salvation project”.  But the man who has surrendered to Jesus, is allowing him to take the initiative in the dance.  This man has found a new and remarkable freedom to be himself.  He is allowing Jesus to be the leading partner in the dance.  There is an inner peace and rest that comes only from God.  Paul expressed it well when he said, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Gal 2:20).  Men, God has a wonderful “sacred dance” for you.  You will discover it as you are willing to be lead on the dance floor of your life.

Briefly, one more dance.  This is “the Intimate Dance” that you have with your wife.  With groups of men, we have talked about this often.  This dance can be awkward and sometimes even embarrassing for us men.  But it is a dance that we must learn and take the lead in performing.  This involves our being vigilant in the non-verbal communication with our wives.  When any small issues gets between you and your “bride”,  a small stone is placed between you and her.  If you neglect to pick up on the non-verbal interaction, soon you will begin to build a wall.  You don’t want that to happen.  In my opinion, it is our place as men, to remove the stone by verbalizing the tension that has developed.  Of course, this plays a very important part in your dance, when it comes to the physical.  If we are not sensitive to the non-verbal stuff going on, the physical will be difficult from your wife to enter into with all her heart.  So men, be vigilant in your dance of intimacy.  We can be real jerks if we are not alert and willing to enter intimate, verbal sharing.  You and your wife have your own unique intimate dance.  It’s up to the husband to take the lead in learning how he can dance with him “bride.”

While we were visiting with our daughter’s family in Charleston, S.C., I had the opportunity to take one of my grandsons, Lars for a treat and just to chat man to man.  We went to one of those famous ice cream places, called Marble Slab Creamery.  I guess they are mostly in the south.  Well, the ice cream is worth dying for.  When we got our cup of ice cream I noticed the slogan on the cup.  It read, “find happiness within.”  I wrote the slogan on a piece of paper and told Lars that my next blob would be on this slogan.

So here you have it.  First of all, how trival to think that we can find happiness within by enjoying a cup of ice cream.  It is great ice cream, but, come on, it will not bring happiness.  Could it be that this is a sutle appeal to our physical cravings to find satisfaction in ice cream among other things.  While every man knows that the physical sensations of our bodily cravings will never satisfy us, if we are not careful,  we can allow these sensations to give us temporary satisfaction, if our soul is not at rest with God.  Jesus warns us in Luke 21:34, “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkedness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap.”  The world will continually tempt you to find satisfaction through physical cravings.  In living a soulful life, men need to be in tune with their bodies and the carvings of our bodies.

One spiritual writer has observed that, “In the biblical story of creation man is presented, first of all, as a hungry being, and the whole world as his food….Behind all the hunger of our life is God.  All desire is finally for him”  The psalmist helps us to remember this.  Our appetites proper object is God. “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that take refuge in him” (Ps 34:8).  God is to be the proper object of our spiritual appetite. “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God” (Ps 42:1-2).  Only God can satisfy. “For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things” (Ps 107:9).  “I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirst for you like a parched land” (Ps 143:6).  Only God can satisfy, no matter how great the ice cream tastes.

As for finding happiness within.  To that I would have to say yes and no.  First of all no, because that is the great trap of western culture.  Especially in this age of self consciousness, we are trained to look within for happiness.  This is what Leanne Payne calls “the disease of intropection.”  I have suffered from this disease for years.  I finally came to realize that this was pride that puts the focus squarely on me.  It was not till I came to the realization that God in Christ lived within me, that I could begin the practice the presence of Jesus.  Yes, happiness is found within, because that is where God dwells.  He dwells in the deepest parts of my being.  But it is not my task to go rummaging around in my soul, trying to find a happy state of existence.  My focus is on Jesus.  In Him and through Him I find life abundantly.

So one more word.  Happiness is not something we can achieve or find on our own effort.  Happiness if found in a person. It is the result of being a humble, loving follower of Jesus.  Jesus came to give us a full life. “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).   Jesus never talked about happiness.  But he did say that in him we would have joy.  In his high priestly prayer he prayed for us. “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them” (John 17:13).  Joy is a fruit of the Spirit.  As we surrender and let go, joy will come into our consciousness awareness.  I am finally learning something about joy in my life through letting go.

When we were at our son Kurt’s place in Kansas City, his neighbor across the street had a large stone on the front lawn that read “a house divided.”  One half was for the jayhawks and the other for the wildcats.  In that part of Kansas, sports fans are divided between the Kansas jayhawks and the Kansas State wildcats.  Evidently the husband and wife were divided in their loyalty.  It was interesting to me that they were so public about their divided loyalties.  The thought of divided loyalties within a household got me to ponder the reality of homes divided spiritually.  I got to thinking about the men who read this blog.  Are there divided homes spiritually.  I thought of Joshua’s words as the people of Israel were being asked to recommit themselves to the covenant relationship with God as they moved into the promised land.  Joshua declared, “But as for me and my household we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

So the question for us men is this, “Is our house united or divided spiritually?”   Another way of saying the same thing is to ask, “Is Jesus, Lord of our home?”  Do husband and wife, who are also mom and dad, ” give first place to Jesus in their lives,” or is their loyalty divided.  Jesus warns us in Matt 6:24, “No one can serve two masters.  Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.  You cannot serve both God and money.”   One simple test as to Lordship in the home is to ask  “to what we give our time, talent and energy?”  Through word and deed is there evidence that the Lord Jesus is acknowledged as Lord in the home.

Men, I cannot stress the importance of having your home under the Lordship of Jesus.  We are to take the lead in this matter.  This does not mean domination or control, but rather sacrifical servanthood in which we demonstrate our love for our wives and children.  Listen to Paul’s exhortation to us husband.  “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting.  Christ’s love makes the church whole” (Eph 5:25 – The Message).  Going all out means giving to our wives and not expecting anything in return.  This kind of giving will create an envirorment  for  wholeness or unity of spirit.  Why take about this kind of unity?  Because Satan wants to divide your home spiritually. Jesus spoke very clearly that there in no neutral ground.  “This is war, and there is no neutral ground.  If you’re not on my side, you’re the enemy; if you’re not helping, you’re making things worse” ( Matt. 12:30 – The Message). 

My strong exhortation to each of you men is that you be a priest of your home.  You set the tempo or the spiritual climate in your home.  Don’t expect your wife to take the lead.  As a matter of fact, there might be some men reading this blog who know their wives and even their children do not share with them in their commitment to Jesus.  I strongly encourage you to put yourself under the Lordship of Jesus.  Whether your house is divided or united, our stance is to be under the Lordship of Jesus.  We are to cry out to him for mercy and protection, asking Jesus come and do battle for us against the spiritual forces that want to bring division to our homes

You might think I am being little radical in what I am saying.  I respond with two comments.  First, I have tried to practice what I exhorting the rest of you men do for years.  Many times I have cried out to God for mercy, asking him to come a do battle against the forces that would divided my home.   Second, I believe that the Christian homes of our nation are under attack from forces of darkness.  Listen to the these words from I John 2:18 “Children, time is just about up.  You heard that Antichrist is coming.  Well, they’re all over the place, antichrists everywhere you look.  That’s how we know that we’re close to the end'” (The Message).  Again men this is a time to humble ouselves and to do battle against the force of evil that want to divide, with prayers that implore God to come and do battle for us.

I’m still pondering the super bowl ad about the guy driving his Silverado through the  collapse of our civilization.  I’ve been wondering about that “twinkie” that was offered at the end of the ad.   Why would our friend in the Silverado be offered a “twinkie” by his buddies.  I am sure many of you are wondering about the symbolism of the twinkie.  I might be getting a little old and “out of touch”, but I am not getting the hidden message if there is one.  When I was talking about the ad with my youngest son, Kurt, he saw the twinkie as a kind of food that would last the collapse because of all the articfical perservatives.  Interesting – buddies offering something to eat with “junk food” full of artifical preservatives to keep one going when there is no other food to be found.

I would like to offer three suggestions regarding the twinkie.  Then I will let it go.  First of all, I had forgotten that the twinkie met its demise a couple of months ago.  I forget how many years we all have enjoyed twinkies.  I know I did as a kid, especially in my “box lunch” and on picnics.  Now twinkies are gone.  So why did a twinkie appear at the end of civilization?  Could it be that even though twinkies were thought to have become extinct, they actually survived the collapse of modern civilization.  Could this be a sign of hope (death and resurrection)?  But where is the hope associated with a twinkie to survive the collapse.  I prefer “the sign of Jonah”  Jesus tells us, “You’re looking  for proof, but you’re looking for the wrong kind.  All you want is something to titillate your curiosity, satisfy your lust for miracles.  The only proof you’re going to get is what looks like the absence of proof: Jonah-evidence. Like Jonah three days and nights in the fish’s belly, the Son of Man will be gone three days and nights in a deep grave” (Matt 12:39-40 – The Message).  Twinkies might have gone through death and resurrection, but I put my hope in the sign of Jonah.  Jesus died for us and has been raised so that we might have real hope. “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.  It’s our handle on what we can’t see”  (Hebrews 11:1 – The Message).

Secondly, it is interesting that what was offered to our friend in the Silverado was some “junk food” that might be thought of as nourishment to help carry on after the collapse.  After all, there was nothing else to eat.  It reminds me of the words from the prophet Amos. “I’ll send a famine through the whole country.  It won’t be food or water that’s lacking, but my Word.  People will drift  from one end of the country to the other, roam to the north, wander to the east.  They’ll go anywhere, listen to anyone, hoping to hear God’s Word – but they won’t hear it’ (Amos 8:11-12 – The Message).  Men, remember what our Lord said, “Don’t take this lightly.  I’m not just saying this for some future generation, but for all of you.  This age continues until all these things take place.  Sky and earth will wear out; my words won’t wear out” (Matt 24:34 – The Message).

Thirdly, this might be a stretch; Jesus warned on more then one occasion about the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.  “Be careful…Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees” (Matt 16:5).  Basically the yeast was a false, hyprocritical religious worldview of the religious leaders of Jesus’ day.  To be affected by this yeast was to be corrupted with a taste of a religious view that did not sustain or nurture real, lasting life.  So my take – Let’s take this offer of a twinkie as a warning not to settle for what cultural religion will be offering you in a time of  instability like ours.  Rather, turn your heart and mind to receive the healing, creative Word of God that the Father is sending through his Son, by the presence of the Holy Spirit in your very hearts.

I’m sure many of you like to watch Super Bowl ads.  As I watched the ads this year to see what they might be telling us about the condition of the male soul in our culture, I have to say that I was disappointed.  I thought there was more sexualized content than in previous years that was obviously directed toward the sexual urges of men.  I also felt the content lacked the subtlety of expression.  But I did like the ad about the Silverado truck.

If you remember, the ad began with the scene of a bulletin entitled  “2012 Mayan Calendar Apocalypse.”  Then the following scenes showed a man driving his Silverado through the collapse of civilization with his dog.  If you looked closely you could see symbols of American culture among the  ruins.  All the while there is the musical refrain “looks like we made it” in the background.  At the end of the ad, the driver of the truck is united with his buddies.   He is informed that others never made it because they had been driving a Ford, instead of a Silverado – which is “the longest lasting, most durable truck on the road.”  The claim is made that “from the beginning of your work day to the end of the world” it is best to be in a Silverado. Then, of all things, one of the men who had survived offers the driver of the Silverado a “Twinkie.” 

Here is my take on this ad:  The ad very subtlety speaks to a unspoken fears and suspicions that many men in America secretly entertain, that things are really not going well.  There is the foreboding concern that there could be some kind of “collapse.”  What the aftermath will be, no one knows.  The man in our ad just looked around in awe at what had just happened. I wonder if there are a lot of guys out there who have these fears but are reluctant to verbalize them, for fear of seeming “out of touch.”  It very well could be that there could be some real big change coming, that will change the landscape of our culture beyond recognition, similar to the ad.  Many men could be intuitively identifying with the words, “looks like we made it,” as kind of hopeful wish to survive the big change that might be just over the horizon.

So for better or worse, men try to hang on and hope that they will be able to “ride out” the collapse.  Now the man in the Silverado made it through the collapse with his dog.  It is interesting that it is all he had; a man’s best friend, a dog.  At the end he comes upon a group of his buddies who tell him that others never made it because they were in a Ford.  His apparent salvation was driving the right truck.   Then, to me, the most interesting symbolism is in the offering of “a Twinkie.”  The driver accepts the Twinkie with a simple “thanks.” 

I could say a lot about this ad.  But I will limit myself.  First of all, if we are going  to go through a collapse,  we have more than a dog.  We have the very presence of God in our life.  Remember men, the most  real, substantial, lasting reality is the Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  From all eternity God has always been.  We are invited to share in  this life.  C.S. Lewis called it “The Great Dance.”  Jesus said, “My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them” (John 14:23).  With the Triune God of grace we will survive everything.  Secondly, I sure hope that each of you will have more to offer your friend then a “Twinkie.”  I am not sure what to make  of the Twinkie.  It may be “comfort food” – but it sure isn’t substantial, nourishing or lasting.  Men, we need to give to other men the hope that we have in Jesus.  We need to encourage other men, to keep on keeping on.  So I close with words from Hebrews, “So let’s do it – full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out.  Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going.  He always keeps his word.  Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the Big Day approaching (Heb. 10:22-25 – The Message).

The heading of my blog today might seem confusing and even counterintuitve to men.  This confusion is in large measure due to our not being taught nor shown a way of living in the second half of life.  It is similar to a man who has had a successful first half of life, assuming that the second half will be the same,  yet having the unsettled feeling that he has missed the purpose of his life.  Again today I am reflecting on Richard Rohr’s good book on learning how navigate the second half of life.  He observes that Thomas Merton has pointed out that we may spend our whole life climbing the ladder of success only to find when we get to the top that our ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.   

The image of the ladder is a good metaphor of the man who comes to that fork in the road on his journey, where he has to ask himself, “Is this what my life is really about?”  “Am I supposed to “grind it out” for the second half, the way I have in the first half?”  Who am I as a person?”  Why do I do the things that I do?”  Who am I trying to impress?”  These are some of the questions that arise as a man looks at the fork in the road.  The choice is to continue climbing the ladder or coming to the realization that I must how go down the ladder.  I tell you men from personal experience, that God will lead you to point on your journey where you will be almost forced to make the choice of whether to start down the ladder or keep climbing.  Usually it will be a failure, a loss, a disappointment, or what Rohr calls a “necessary suffering.”  You will hit the wall and realize the ladder is not going to hold you in your desperate attempt to keep up your reputation and image.

I want to tell you men, as someone who has been through the descending process, of course, falling imperfectly as I lost my grip on the ladder, that God is mightly at work in the descent.  You will “fall” into this experience, since none of us choice it.  It is something done to us.  The idea of descent is a prominent teaching of Jesus.  For example, “Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat.  But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over.  In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life.  But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal” (John 12:24-25 – The Message).  Be assured when you come to that fork in the road, it is God who has orchestrated the timing.

Why haven’t we been able to help men when they come to this fork in the road.  One good reason given by Rohr is that we are spiritually lazy.  “When we are lazy, we stay on the path we are already on, even if it is going nowhere.”  The down-and-then-up principle does not fit in our Western view of progress and the successful life, nor our desire for upward mobility.  Many men do become “spiritual lazy” when they come to the fork in the road.  They choose the easier road of the familiar, self-achieving road of personal success and fulfillment, while they become starved and confused spiritually.

There are many strong, male voices today who are saying to men caught in this middle life fork in the road to take the journey of descent.  Put your trust in the Lord Jesus and allow him to lead you, even thought it will be the experience of “the darkness of faith.”  You are being called to trust, that further along on the journey that you will be a better man.  God himself will lift you up.  Listen to what Jesus said to Peter, “Simon, stay on your toes.  Satan has tried his best to separate all of you from me, like chaff from wheat.  Simon, I’ve prayed for you in particular that you not give in or give out.  When you have come through the time of testing, turn to your companions and give them a fresh start” (Luke 22:31-32 – The Message).  Notice Jesus was going to use Peter after his “shifting.”  Our “shifting” by God will make us better men.

Richard Rohr is his men’s work has a ritual entitled “discharging your loyal soldier.”  It is based on the experience of Japanese soldiers after world war II.  Many soldiers were not fit or prepared to reenter civilian life.  So Japanese communities created a communal ritual in which the soldiers were honored for their service to the country and then told, “The war is now over!  The community needs you to let go of what has served you and served us well up to now.  The community needs you to return as a man, a citizen and something beyond a solider.”  This helped them transition from soldier to civilian.

The point of this ritual for men is to help them make transitions at major times in their lives.  One such transition is navigating the midlife crisis.  We each have a loyal soldier that has served us well in the first half of life, but usually a crisis will call into question the life of the loyal soldier for the second half of life.  Rohr says that in the first half of our life we build a “container,” which includes our loyal solider.  The containers give us ego strength for the first half of our journey.  It has served us well as we go out into the world.  But there will come a time when men realize that ego strength has come at the expense of “”soul strength.”  The container, while outwardly seems strong, is empty on the inside.  There is a prompting during midlife to do the “inner work” of the soul.  It must be done so the second half of life can be lived well. 

At this point a man has to face the fact that he is being called to die, that is, to discharge his loyal soldier.   There now is the awareness of needing to let go.  The container has been built, but it needs to be emptied and refilled. It can be very frightening.  Who want to die to that which is familiar.  Rohr puts it this way. “When you first discharge your loyal soldier, it will feel like a loss of faith, or loss of self.  But it is only the death of the false self, and is often the very birth of the soul.  Instead of being ego driven, you will begin to be soul drawn.”  Men, if we listen to the voice of our soul, we know there is more.  Our container is hallow and needs new life.  It needs living water and the bread of life.

I promise you, based on personal experience, that if you are willing to discharge your loyal soldier, that is,  your image of you think you are and what you want to be, your true self, who you were meant to be from the beginning will come forth.  It will be a process.  With it come greater freedom and authencity.   Jesus spoke of this transition often. For example, in John 12:24-25, “Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat.  But if is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over.  In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life.  But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.” (The Message).  

One more thought about the discharging of the loyal solider.  In our Western culture, we do not have the rituals of transition to help men move into the second half of life.  My suggestion for any struggling with the difficulty of this transition, is to find a group of men who adhere to the principles of the 12 Steps of AA.  If you can’t find a group, memorize the 12 steps and read some devotional material based on the 12 steps.  The 12 steps, if embraced, will help with the letting go of the loyal soldier, so that you can go on into the new.  Life “has become unmangeable…….make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God……entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character” (Steps 1,3,6).  That’s the way you discharge the loyal soldier.

Yes, this is another Blog that is inspired by Tim Tebow.  I don’t think I will do another blog on this remarkable young man for awhile.  So bear with me for just this one more time.  I know there will be a lot more said about this young man, so it will be tempting on my part to reflect again with you on the influence he is having on our culture.  Right now a poll from ESPN says he is the most popular athletic in America.  So in my opinion we need to make the most of this season.

As all you sports fans know, the Broncos lost last Sunday to the Patriots and Tom Brady.  Tebow completed just 9 of 26 passes for 136 yards, with no touchdowns, and his attempts to run – his greatest strength – were thwarted as he gained just 13 yards.  He was sacked five times and lost a fumble as the Broncos were over matched from the start by the Patriots.  They lost 45-10.  So last Sunday could have been a very down time for Tebow.  But that was not the case.  

Listen to what Tim Tebow had to say after the game. “It still wasn’t a bad day.  It still was a good day, because I got to spend some time before the game with Zack McLeod ( a 20 year-old Cambridge native who suffered a traumatic brain injury playing football) and make him smile, and overall when you get to do that, it’s still a positive day. Sometimes that’s hard to see, but it depends what lens you’re looking through.  I choose to look through those lenses, and I got to make a kid’s day, that’s more important than winning the game.  So, I am proud of that.”  Wow!  Did you hear what that young man said.  There is something more important than football.  Football for Tim Tebow is “a platform” for serving God.  That is the secret to his public life.

For me it raises the question about the kind of “lens” I see through.  It like the old saying, “Either the cup is half full or it is half empty.”  It depends on how you view what is right in front of you.  We each have a lens that we look through.  The apostle Paul writing from prison in Philippi was a very joyful person.  The whole letter is one of joy. He saw through lenses of “contentment.”  He says this about himself, towards the end of his letter. “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances.  I”m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little.  I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty.  Whatever I have, whatever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am” (Phil 4:12-13  – The Message)

I would like to challenge us men, with those words from Paul when he says, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances.”  My take away from the witness of Tim Tebow is this.  Being content in the present moment, that is, in my present circumstances, has a lot to do with being “other-centered.”  That is why losing a big game can be put in perspective.  Can you image a 24 year young man, with all the pressure on him before the big game, giving his undivided attention to someone who is less fortunate.  In my book, that is maturity far beyond Tim Tebow’s years.  So I ask each of you men, what kind of lens are you looking through today.  When you look into your circumstances are you first of all, centered in Jesus and then on others.  Think about this  – “All you have is the present moment.”  How do you see it – with want kind of lens.  Is it about you or about God and others.  That is the choice we have to make.

Quantum physicist, Stephan Hawking, who is considered by many to be the greatest living scientist, has just celebrated his 70thbirthday.  At the age of 21 he was diagnosed withLou Gehrig’s disease.  That disease usually leads to death within three years, but Hawking has lived nearly a half-century, which is trulyremarkable.  No longer able to speak, he has communicated for several years through a special computer device that allows him to choose words as the machine follows his cues. In an interview with New Scientist to mark his 70th birthday, he revealed a softer side of his brilliant mind.  What caught my attention was his comment regarding women.  When asked what occupied his thoughts for most of his waking hours, he answered: “Women.  They are a complete mystery.”  So there you have it men.  The answer from one of the most brilliant scientific minds of our times; women are a mystery.  With his scientific mind, he has not been able to figure out women.  Why?  The mystery ofwomen has to do withrelationships.  Intimacy with a woman gets us into the mystery of relating to “the other.”

Even though Hawking is an atheist, his thoughts about women are confirmed by scripture.  Paul implies something of this mystery in Eph5:31-32, “And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife.  No longer two, they become ‘one flesh.’  This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all” (The Message). Paul seems to be saying that when a man enters marriage he is entering into something that is a mystery.  To become “one flesh” with someone who is opposite of you can be very threatening and unsettling since our basic stance in relationship as men is to find solutions and a fix.  Believe me when I say you will never be able to “fix” or “figure out” how your wife relates to you.  It is not a matter of the mind but of the heart.      

So my exhortation to you men, is to embrace the mystery of the woman to who you are married.  Never begin to let yourself think and then suggest to your wife that you fully understand her.  Remember God gave you your opposite in your wife. As opposite she is meant to complement you rather then fitting your expectation of her.  You need her to be who God has created her to be as a female.  How could you as the opposite ever presume to fully understanding her. “God said, ‘It’s not good for the Man to be alone.  I’ll make him a helper, a companion.” (Gen 2:18 – The Message).  Your wife relates best to you when she is your help mate, not someone who you try to figure out.  Yes, she is a mystery.  Praise God

I have been humbled more times then I would like to admit, when I stand before the mystery of my wife. Not understanding her responses to me have often made me unsettled and insecure.  When I come around to see my “silliness” I realize she is meant to be my help mate not someone who complies to my wishes.  Some years ago, Judy and I had the privilege of have lunch with the man I consider my mentor, Dr. James Houston.  After our conversation, I ask if he had any advice for me.  At that time I was in my early 50’s.  He surprised me, but delighted Judy when he said, “cherish your wife.”  I never forgot those words.  To cherish, means among other things, “to hold dear.”  This implies the celebration of the woman who is the wonderful opposite of me 

As I have learned to cherish my wife, God has revealed to me more of the beauty and wonder of who my wife really is as my help mate.  It is one of the joys of marriage to be able to see your wife come forth in all that she is meant to be in her feminine self.  It is the role of the husband to cherish his wife to such a degree, that his wife is secure enough to express who she is meant to be in the eyes of her heavenly Father.  The more I cherish Judy as my opposite the more I will have glimpses of the mystery of who she in our relationship as man and wife.