Category: Wildman Journey (Page 70 of 85)

Many of the men who read this blog are familiar by now with the Chinese dissident Chen Guangcheng and his difficulty with the Chinese government. He has displayed great courage in his fight for freedom of expression.  Chen, who is blind, is part of what is called the “weiquan movement.”  It’s a group of lawyers, activists, intellectuals and ordinary citizens who aim to push the boundaries of reform by using China’s existing laws and courts to defend human rights.  What is little know is that this group is overwhelmingly Christian.  For his efforts, Chan has served 51 months in prison and has been under house arrest.  He wants his freedom.  But at this time he and his family faces a very uncertain future.

I mention this man and his story, to point out the need for men in our day, to have the courage to stand for what is right and truthful in our culture. Eric Metaxas has written a wonderful book on the German theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and his willingness to draw a line in the sand when Nazi Germany tried to restrict religious liberty. Many are beginning to see parallels in our culture with the encroachment of the state in the realm of religion.  Much of German society, along with a good segment of the church gave in to Hitler.  But Bonh0effer like Chen responded to the restrictions on religious liberty by the government at great personal risk.  Charles Colson, whose blog I have read almost daily, has now gone to be with the Lord.  But in the last years he warned repeatedly about the fact that we are losing our “religious liberty” in this nation.  I for one have begun to take notice of this  emerging reality, while many “church” men seem to be “asleep” to the eroding of our religious liberties as Christians   

As Scott McNight has pointed out on his blog that, “for Bonhoeffer, truth was connected to relationships, and even more to reality, and even more to God’s reality, and God’s reality is found in the truthful Word of Jesus Christ.  To tell the truth must mean entering into the reality of God’s Word in Christ in the words we use.  ‘What is real is to be expressed in words.’  His (Bonfoeffer) expression for this is ‘living truth.”  Men there comes a time when we have to discern if we are standing on solid ground.  Solid ground is the truth found in Jesus.  This is reality; the way things are.  Not the  reality as portrayed by many in the media as well as politicans or educators. Standing on the “living truth” in Jesus can make a man courageous. 

My challenge to myself as I write this blog is to be a man of courage and stand for the truth as I have come to know in Jesus Christ.  As Jesus stood before Pilate he said, “In fact, for this reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth.  Everyone on the side of truth listen to me” (John 18:37). Courage means saying yes to what is right and taking the right action even at the risk of pain or loss.  A courageous man knows what is right and will stick with the truth.  As Metaxas pointed out in a blog, “We’re facing a challenge in America today that’s going to require a good dose of courageous stick-to-itevness. The challenge is defending religious liberty.”

As God’s people were about to go and take possession of the promised land, God exhorted them repeatedly be courageous and not afraid.  Moses told young Joshua, “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).  Men, we don’t know where the journey will take us in the coming days.  There is a lot of uncertainty in our nation.  But we are following Jesus along with many other brothers in Christ.  We have come to know the truth in Jesus Christ.  That is ultimate reality.  So let’s go forward as men of integrity, standing courageously for the truth in Jesus.

I had an experience today here on the lake, that I knew I had to write about on this blog.  As most of you know, Judy and I have a small retreat house on the lake where we live.  I call ourselves a “monk” and a “nun.”  This gives us a focus as to what our life is all about here on Man lake.  I am not a big fisherman and don’t get into a fishing boat that often.  So I am a bit “sports challenged” when it comes to being a northwoods fisherman.  At 70 I am starting a new learning curve.

Well, I have partnered with my son Kurt, to begin using his 16 ‘ boat to do some fishing.  But today was not a good start to this partnership.  I had to take the boat through a narrow and shallow channel to another lake in order to put the boat on a trailer to bring for repairs.  I had not taken a boat that big through the channel before.  It was windy and I had to use a small trolling motor for the first time to maneuver the boat.  Judy’s uncle, Stanton, who is an “expert” in everything to do with fishing, was kind enough to help me get the boat unto the trailer. Thank you, Stanton.  

Now for the kicker!  I had a very difficult time getting the boat through the channel as well as setting it up to get on the trailer.  Stanton watched patiently while brother Al tried his best to get the boat to cooperate.  Needless to say, I was embarrassed, humilated and frustrated at my lack of “boating skills.”  Here I was failing in the presence of the recognized “expert fisherman” of our lake.  I know at least one other neighbor witnessed my plight as well.  As I struggled, I realized that I did not feel shame, nor was I self condemning in ways that I have been in the past when I was feeling such failure in the presence of another “male expert.” 

I not sure why, but the passage that came to me was from Hosea 11:4.  I take this passage personally for myself.  “I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love.  To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them.”  I simply had the sensation that my heavenly Father was tenderly loving me in my moment of shame and embarrassment.  I could ever joke about myself with uncle Stanton, saying “hold on, I going to make it.”  I could accept the reality that I am simply “a monk” living on the lake and am not an “expert fisherman.”  I could say to myself, “It is o.k. to feel like a failure.  This is not that important to your well being and the sense of who you are, Al.” “Wow,” I thought, “this is real growth for a you, Al.”

Men, I give this testimony for anyone of you who get into situations where you feel shame or embarassment about who you are.  What has made the difference for me is that I have learned to receive the love that my heavenly Father has for me in being just who I am and not for what I do.  Experiencing God’s love for you at the heart level, will begin to free you from the need to present yourself as someone you are not.  You will be able to face reality.  Reality is who you really are, not who you pretend to be.   This bring freedom and acceptance.  I felt some of that today.  I was surprised but it brought joy to my heart.

I have been reading a fascinating book by Tanya Luhrmann entitled “When God talks back: Understanding the American Evangelical Relationship with God.”  Luhrmann is a professor of anthropology at Stanford.  For the past 10 years she has been researching the way evangelical Christians talk with God.  Recently she had an article in Christianity Today in which she addressed the question of why women pray more then men.  She references a 2008 Pew U.S. Religious Landscape Survey which found that two-thirds of all women surveyed pray daily, while less than half of all men surveyed do.  So she was asking why.  Her conclusion “Women pray more because women are more comfortable with their imagination, and in order to pray, you need to use your imagination.”

I can personally identify with her conclusions regarding men.  For years I was either confused regarding my imagination or completely disregard this vital part of my personhood. I was even told it was dangerous to my spiritual life.  I was afraid that my imagining would lead me astray from the truth of Scripture.  I am writing this blog, however, to encourage men to embrace their God given gift of intuition and imagination.  While God certainly can’t be a product of our imagination, the truth is that if we are to know God intimately we will need to use our imagination, because as Luhrmann observes, “the imagination is the means humans must use to know the immaterial.”  C.S. Lewis who used the imagination to reach many for Christ had a chapter in Mere Christianity entitled “Let’s Pretend.”  “Let’s pretend,”Lewis writes, “to turn the pretence into a reality.”

With our imagination we are able to know truth through mental images as well as through rational concepts and intellectual concepts.  “We live by a world picture as well as a world view.  Spiritual experience consists not only of theological concepts, such as God’s attributes and the commands asserted in the Bible, but also of images like light and darkness….The imagination gives us spiritual knowledge in the form of  ‘right seeing.'” (Leland Ryken).  Luhrmann by means of a psychological scale for “absorption,” which measures a person’s capacity and interest in being caught up in the imagination, found that women scored more highly then men (Men, do you read romantic novels).   This can explain in part why men so often feel less spiritual then women.  They can easily beat themselves up for not being a good Christian like their wife.  Could it be that part of the problem is the lack of imagination with us guys?

I have become convinced that men simply have a harder time in simply “receiving God’s unconditional love.”  This goes back to our lack of imaginative experience.  While most men reading this blog know intellectual that God loves them, many have not been able to receive the reality into their hearts.  My answer has become – “You have to sit there and simply let yourself be loved.”  This implies the use of the imagination.  One of my favorite verse in this regard is Ps 27:8, “My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’  Your face, Lord, I will seek.”  I tell men that they need to imagine God looking at them in love, and then imagine  themselves in the presence of God.  Men need to do this with a humble, child-like trust in the love of God.  After a time it will begin to sink into their hearts.  But let me warn you, the more you think about it the further you will be moved from the realityknow you are loved. You will end up going around and around in your mind.  It comes when you imagine yourself  being  loved by God, using your imagination and intuition.  I know this from experience in my life and those of other men.  So I encourage you to do some “pretending.”

“Be the last of a dying breed, it’s time that we man up.”  This is the last line of the “Man Up Anthem” from the Christian rap group 116 Clique. The song helped launch a growing campaign by the Christian Rapper, Lecrae to get young men in hip-hop culture to “man up” as responsible husbands and fathers.  “Father absence is a systemic problem… that’s proven to lead to higher rates of gang violence, incarceration and suicide. As of 2007, the national rate of children born to single mothers was 40%.  According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, 24 million American children – one in three – live in homes without their biological fathers.”  So, where are the men?  They definitely need to man up.

When I thought about this slogan, I thought of Paul’s words in Ephesians 6, as he describes the spiritual battle we are in: “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes (11).  He also declares, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand (13).  Three times we are exhorted to stand.  I would suggest that when we man up, we take a stand. 

Taking clues from Paul, men need to know that they are in a battle. The real issues are not economic, political, and social, but spiritual.  It is a spiritual battle between Satan and the kingdom of God. I have taught for years that the real problem with our culture is what Derek Prince called “renegade fathers.”  Until fathers and young men come to see who they are and can be in God, they will never begin to own up to their responsibilities.  Why?  Because the culture takes them “off the hook.”  The enemy will do all he can to break down the family. That starts with renegade fathers.  I know this is not a popular view, but it is truth that has to be proclaimed. 

I have changed my approach to fathers and young men over the years.  I used to get after men and almost shamed them into facing up to their responsibilities.  But now I believe that a better approach is to appeal to a man’s deepest desires and instincts. When a man is embraced with love and compassion, he’s able to get beyond his defenses and pay attention to his heart. Once a man really gives his heart to Jesus, things begin to change.  Only the transformation of the heart will bring a new sense of wanting to be responsible for his role in the family as husband and father.

Lecrae addresses father absence saying, “Young African American males [are] immediately an example for other African American males in the community at large. Not only are the young men challenged and encouraged by this, but also the young ladies, because they get to see what they should be looking for and how to encourage their brothers in the direction of taking leadership and responsibility.”  I think this is a good challenge for all men.  I know I take it that way.  As a grandfather, father, and husband, I know that my grandsons are watching me. They especially watch how I treat their grandmother.  At church I know that the wives watch my actions.  So I hope that you, like me, are still willing to “man up.”  As Paul puts it: “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.  Do everything in love” (I Cor. 16:13).

I want to start this blog with a prayer by Thomas Merton.  It is from his book “Thoughts in Solitude.”  I have now come across several other sources quoting this prayer.  I will mention my reasons for reflecting with you on this prayer after you read the prayer and reflect on its meaning for you. “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.  I cannot see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end.  Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.  But, I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.  And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.  I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.  And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.  Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost in the shadow of death.  I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

There could be possibly three responses to this prayer among the men who read this blog.  The first one would be one of dismay, that a man such as Merton would be praying a prayer which seems to reflect such doubt and uncertainty in the midst of desire to know God.  A second response would be, “Wow.”  He is describing the condition of my soul at this stage in my journey.  A third response is that of someone who has gone through “the tunnel of darkness.”  The man is saying “Yes I know what he is talking about.  I’ve been there and have learned the blessing of the “dark night.” 

I have a thought for each of these responses.  For the first response I have a concern.  Why!  That is where I was in the early days of my journey.  It was at a time when I had “God in a box.”  Things needed to be black and white.  I wanted to have a solution and an answer.  There were plenty of people who could offer their solutions.  The result was I would get “stuck in the familiar.”  I wanted some control.  If this is you, I strongly encourage you to let God out of your box.  You will not grow in maturity when you are in charge of your spiritual self improvement projects.  I know – I was there and can still slip into that pattern.

As for the second response.  Merton’s prayer will bring you hope and encouragement.  There is no answers or solutions to where you are on the journey.  You know you are in a tunnel where there seems to be no light.  What is critical is the desire of our heart.  That is what God sees.  You know in your heart is your desire is for God.  That was Merton’s prayer.  “I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.”  So I encourage the man that is in that dark place.  Hang on to Jesus with the faith He has given you, no matter what.  I promise you that you will see light at the other end of the tunnel.

The third response.  One of praise and thanksgiving.  There are men who can say “yes.”  They have been in those dark times.  There was stress, anxiety and even doubt.  But they hung unto Jesus and came through the tunnel.  I like to think of the words of Ps 18:19, “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”  This is a God created space, that bring more authenticity, peace, joy and freedom.  I know because I have come through several tunnels of darkness.  I know it will happen again.  But I believe I have learned that this is the way the God grows the male soul.  There does not seem to be another way, except through “tunnel of darkness.”

Judy and I have just returned from spending a couple days with our grand kids in Kansas City, Ks.  I usually learn some spiritual lesson as I spend time with the kids.  This time it was related to the time I spend with my four year old grandson, Grant.  He and I made a trip up the hill to the park to play in the sand that covered the volleyball court.  We brought along a tonka trunk and bulldozer to do some “dirty work.”  We were both “pumped” to get “down and dirty.”  It was great fun – just Grant and dear old grandpa. I was just hoping that no one else would see a 70 year old man getting “down and dirty” in the sand. 

As I was playing on my hands and knees with Grant, I just got the sense that my “Abba” Father in heaven wanted me to know that his love reaches down to my lowest place, that is, into the dirt of my soul.  Philippians makes it very clear that Jesus came down to our level.  “When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human.  Having become human, he stayed human.  It was an incredibly humbling process” (Phil 2:7-8 – The Message).  While Grant and I were getting dirty physically, I struggle with being  spiritually dirty.  I am learning to be a “beloved sinner.”  My dirt does not keep Jesus away.  He is right there with me, wanting me to turn to him.  My problem has been shame, guilt and vulnerability.  This has kept the focus on me and not Jesus, hindering me from seeing Jesus with me in the dirt.   

Listen to what Robert Mulholland says regarding  this very point.  He talks of “the cruciform love of Christ” for fallen humanity.  How is this love expressed. Not just in ideas or some outward expression.  But in the very depth of our soul, that is, in our dirt.  In those hidden places that we have not exposed to the love of God.   “When we turn away from God’s love and become a self-referenced person….Christ’s love continues to enfold and indwell us, now as a cruciform love at the heart of our false self.  Even when we are most alienated from God by our self-referenced life, we are still loved.”   This I am finally starting to grasp.  God really loves me in my dirt.  My heavenly Father first comes to me in love.  It is the fear of surrender on my part that keeps him from being with me in my dirt.

So playing there in the dirt with Grant, God was speaking to me while I’m played.  Grant just went about enjoying making trails with his bulldozer.  He was as peaceful and content as a little guy could be in the dirt.  He know it was safe and secure with grandpa being present in the dirt with him.  While I was doing my best to enter into the moment, I was also aware of the surroundings, my aching body, along with the time element.  Oh, to be more like Grant in my dirt.  Learning to surrender to the present moment with all my dirt is not easy.  But maybe I learned something there on the hill in the dirt.  It does not matter what I think or feel; my heavenly Father has come all the way into my dirt in Jesus.  He just waits for me to be willing to surrender to his “cruciform love.” He is right there loving me not as I should be but just as I am in the dirt.

It is a known reality that men are much better at compartmentalizing their inner life.  For example, we can separate our thoughts from our feelings, whereas women in generally are much more in touch with how they feel and what they sense intuitively. Most men feel totally lost when the discussion move from the head to the heart.  But in isolating our emotions we should not consider them as not having influence in our life.  Rather, when we ignore our deep emotions such as fear, anger, guilt and shame, they gain strength and can become unruly.  Just as your wife.  She will confirm what I am saying.  She knows what are your “hot buttons.”

Men, we need to face reality.  We need to think of our inner life as a whole.   What we call “I” is really a family of many part-selves that we either ignore or dismiss altogether, especially the ones that make us feel vulnerable, such as our broken and wounded self.  Listen to David Benner, one of my favorite spiritual writers. “Christian spirituality involves acknowledging all our part-selves, exposing them to God’s love and letting him weave them into the new person he is making….we must be willing to welcome these ignored parts as full members of the family of self, giving them space at the family table and slowly allowing them to be softened and healed by love and integrated into the whole person we are becoming.”  Take it from me, these are words of real spiritual wisdom.

Here are some reasons why this statement reflects so much wisdom, at least in my experience.  First of all, I hide my real self for years behind the appearance of being a “niece Christian man.”  Why?  Because there were parts of my person that were not welcomed to the family table.  They are aspects of my personality that I would hide about myself, while feeling shame and guilt.  I learned as a child to hide and pretend.  Secondly, I have finally come to see that I can expose who I really am in the presence of God and be met not with judgment or disapproval, but with unconditional love.  This is very liberating.  My heavenly Father knows all my hidden parts.  He just has waited for me to bring them to the table so that he could bring healing to my divided heart. 

As a result I have found more healing for my masculine soul.  Remember, men and this is important.  You do not create your new self in Christ.  This is the work of God.  You can spend years going around and around in your rational, male mind, trying to create an acceptable version of a Christian man.  You can’t do it.  You will get discourage and want to give up.  Only God can take all your family members, the good, the bad and the ugly and weave them into the man you were destined to be from eternity.  Remember the words of Jesus, “No one cuts up a fine silk scarf to patch old work clothes; you want fabrics that match.  And you don’t put your wine in cracked bottles” (Matt. 9:16-17 – The Message)   

So take it from me, a “recovering Pharisee.” Ask Jesus, the healer of the soul,for grace and mercy to be  able to bring all the members of your family to the table of grace.  You will not like all the family members.  But remember, they have been a part of the real you.  You will never change until you stop being hostile or indifferent to some of your family members. You need to show them hospitality.  Something begins to change when you bring all your members into the light and share them with Jesus.  You could say, that Jesus sits with you at the table and helps you accept and become reconciled to who you have really been all your life.  You find that nothing is wasted.  Paul puts it this way, “…then take on an entirely new way of life – a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you” (Eph. 4:23-4 – The Message)

“It is finished.”  These were the last words of Jesus on the cross.  We read in John 19:30, “When he had received the drink, Jesus said, ‘It is finished.’  With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”  This is holy week, so I thought I would write a blog on the cross.  These are reassuring words to hear.  Men, “it is finished.”  The work for your salvation, God’s great rescue plan for you, is finished.  God did, through Jesus, what you will never be able to do for yourself; that save yourself.  Remember that!  You can never rescue yourself from yourself and your issues.   That means you can stop working on your personal “spiritual improvement projects.”  Oh, how hard this is for men.  We want to pay our way, we want to achieve, and we want to figure so way out of our mess.  But get this!  What Jesus did for you on the cross of Calvary, is pure gift.  That is the rub.  We have a difficult time receiving.

I have prayed for many men personally over the years.  Usually after a session of soul talk, it comes down to dealing with some issue of sin in the life of man.  That is, there is a barrier between the man and his ongoing relationship to Jesus.  One of the images I use to help a man “dump his backet” is that of standing at the foot of the cross.  I will suggest that we go together to the foot of the cross.  I ask the man to visualize Jesus dying on the cross for him.  I ask him if he can see his sins being taken by Jesus on the cross.  Then I say to him, “Can you give your sin habit or pattern to Jesus.”  I often quote I Peter 2:24, “He himself bore our sin in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righeousness; by his wounds you have been healed” ( I Peter 2:24)

The take away from this blog is simple.  When you look at Jesus dying on the cross for you he did all the “heavy lifting” for you.  But there is a part you must play.  You need to come to the foot of the cross in humble repentance, thanking Jesus for what he has done for you, and cry out for mercy.  Men, there is a place to go with your guilt and shame.  It is at the foot of the cross.  You don’t have to carry the load.  I have found that men including myself, are not good at dealing with our guilt and shame alone.  If you have a hard time “dumping your bucket of stuff” find another man.  Make confession in his presence.  Then have him declare that you are forgiven and released.  We are not good at forgiving ourselves.  It helps to hear the words from someone else.  “If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven” (John 20:23).

One more thought.  If you find your self dealing with misfortune or some impossible situation, it is easy to fall into self-pity.  Men usually have a hard time admitting self pity, because it seems to be a sign of weakness or failure.  But self-pity if it is not taken care of, can turn in self-hatred.  One of the practices in dealing with self-pity is to view Jesus on the cross.  He suffered and agonized for you as an innocent man on the cross.  But that was not only a man on the cross, but it was also God.  Yes, God suffers for you.  So there is a place to go with your suffering, discouragement and self-pity.  Bring it to Jesus. He understands.  We read in Hebrews, “That’s why he had to enter into every detail of human life.  Then, when he came before God as high priest to get rid of the people’s sins, he would have already experienced it all himself – all pain, all the testing – and would be able to help where help was needed” (Heb 2:17-18 – The Message).  There are times when the only thing a man can do is “stand in his pain” at the foot of the cross.  It is a great help to know that Jesus is suffering with you.

Richard Rohr, who does a lot of significant work with men, has chosen the whale as the logo of his men’s ministry.  The whale comes from the words Jesus declared when the crowds were increasing.  “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it expect the sign of the prophet Jonah” (Matt 12:39).   Rohr makes the point that the sign of Jonah is appropriate for men’s work, since grief and darkness are at the very heart of his work.  Listen to what Rohr has to say, “Much of early men’s work is teaching men how to trust their time in the belly of the whale, how to stay there without needing to fix, to control or even to fully understand it and to wait until God spits you on a new shore.”

I know for myself, it has been hard to be left in the belly of the whale.  The darkness of not knowing has lasted for much longer then three days. Remember Jonah was running from God’s purposes for his life.  He did not what to go and preach at Ninevah.  It was in the belly of the whale God gots his attention.  Sometimes it is only in the unknown and darkness that we will finally cry out to God for help.  God allows the apparent darkness to be a teaching space in our lives, especially when we are on the run like Jonah.  As men we desire to control and understand our circumstances.  It can be hard to admit that we are running from God and that some thing is broken in our lives.  In the words of AA, “I am powerless to fix the brokenness of my life on my own.  My life has become unmanageable.” 

It is imperative to remember that it is out of love that God puts us into the belly of the whale.  He knows we are on the run, even though we might think we are being a “niece Christian guy.”  The worst response would be that of rebellion or anger at God.  Evidently Jonah got the message for after just three day in that small and smelly space, God spit him unto a new shore.  Jonah had learned his lesson.  He would go God’s way.  Sometimes, God in his compassion, and in acts of mercy will bring us back over the same ground, hoping that we will learn our lesson.  This is sheer mercy.  But he will not force us to obey.  We can choose.  Could the whale be a warning to you that you need to stop running?

Jesus warned a “wicked and adulterous generation” in giving them the sign of Jonah.  This can be a warning to men.  There are voices both in the culture and even the church that will not understand the special “teaching space”  the the belly of the whale provides.  Men I want to assure you that the great spiritual tradition of the past speaks with one voice on the necessity of the darkness and unknown.  Could it be that “the sign of Jonah'”  is a warning for us as men, to take a “second look” at what God is doing in the lives of Christian men?  Could it be that many of us have had our special “spiritual improvement projects” operating,  using them to protect ourselves from what God really wants in our lives?  Could God be wanting to get your attention in the belly of the whale?

Well, I just can’t resist myself during “March Madness.”  I have to write at least one more blog about this time of year, when basketball fans get into the madness.  I know I take more time then usual to watch games.  I find it very exciting to watch the competitive nature of these young men.  They will never forget this experience.  I know I will never forget the thrill of my high school ( Negaunee) winning the Class B state championship of Michigan back in 1957.  You never forget the thrill.  But today I want to share a few reflections on the Dove Men’s Care ads.  The various basketball personalities are talking about being “comfortable in their own skin.”  Of course,  my favorite  is Tom Izzo.  He and I talk alike.  We are both UPers.

First the symbolism of the dove.  In scripture the Holy Spirit is represented by a dove.  Listen to Matthew 3:16-17, “At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him.  And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.'”  I am fascinated with men being associated with a dove.  The symbolism could not be more relevant for men and their presonal struggle for identity today.   A man’s true male identity is affirmed when He hears his Father in heaven declare that he is “the beloved.”  Romans 8:16 tells us, “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”  I would say biblically for a man to be truly comfortable in his own skin, he needs to have the assurance and confidence that his heavenly Father loves him.

But for a man to be comfortable in his own skin spiritually, he has to be honest about who he really is.  This was a difficult hurdle for me as a man.  I hit the wall in my late 40’s.  There was a lot that I did not like about myself.  It was my “shadow self,” that part of me that I was ashamed of and did not want other to see, especially as I was spending all my time trying to be a “good, caring and helpful pastor.”  It was a real trap.  I would try harder and often feel worse.  I was not comfortable in my own skin.  I was “posing” as a Christian man.  You could say that I had on an outward spiritual skin I was posing in, while hiding and even trying to flee from the darkness in me.

Well, men the good news that I have to share with you today is this.  First, God knows all my hiding tricks.  He knows my “badness” better then I do.  He is not even surprised by my false spiritual antics.  He knows when I am not comfortable in my own skin. Secondly, He loving awaits for me to come home to that place of acceptance.  It is my choice. I can bring my real, honest, lonely self to him, with all the mess I have made.  He know this as the real me, someone that needs transformation, that is, a new spiritual skin as it were.  Thirdly, he can not do very much until I am honest enough with myself and come in all of my need.  Having a new skin to be comfortable in is the work of God.  He changes a man from the inside out.

So if you are not comfortable in your present spiritual skin, don’t stay on the “treadmill” of performance and effort.  You will not be at peace with yourself.  Admit your hypocrisy and your hiding.  Come home to Jesus at the Center (your deep soul).  In that place of acceptance  surrender your efforts and allow him to bring about a change in you so that you can be comfortable in your own spiritual skin.  Remember we can not patch up the old and make it look good spiritually.  We need something new.  Jesus warns us, “”No one cuts up a fine silk scarf to patch old work cloths; you want fabrics that match.  And you don’t put your wine in cracked bottles.” (Matt 9:16-17 – The Message).