Category: Sister Judy (Page 6 of 278)

When we think of it, change is like a miracle and the only way it happens is because of God’s presence within us. We surrender to His way as we die to our false self so a new person in Christ can come forth. Col. 3:3 says, “For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Dying to self is a lifelong process, and the more I grow in the Lord, the more I see how much I need to die daily. But there are big pluses to it, as we will notice our own heart is more open to receive love as well as to give love to others. Sometimes we may even find our heart is filled with love towards someone we hardly know, and we realize it is all Him!

When we become attentive to the Spirit, we find we are less distracted, as we are able to focus more on others and what really matters. We are not so preoccupied with self and can live less fragmented lives. We will also be more open to hear others’ stories and to understand them. In order to do that, we need to accept our own limits and the losses in our lives, so that bitterness doesn’t spoil our relationships. Forgiveness is key, for when we release others from payment of their actions we can begin together again. Forgiveness is the most wonderful gift that we receive and give to others. Let us all be willing to change and rest in God’s love so He can transform us and our relationships with others.

We probably all know friends who dreamed of spending their senior years traveling, but now have chronic illnesses that limit them to be housebound. There are also those whose spouse has Alzheimer’s, needing constant watching and care. Parents’ lives can be forever changed by a child born with disabilities. Others know the heartache of a family member fighting addiction. We all have had dreams of our what our life would be like. When it all changes suddenly, we may experience sorrow and heaviness of heart that lingers just below the surface and doesn’t go away.

Shelly gives ways that have worked for her to navigate through her losses that may help us or those we love. Just as she found strength in God’s promises, we can hang on to key scriptures. Sometimes we may need to go to a counselor who can help us deal with our pain, process it and renew our hope. Sometime we can just take time for a break and do something we enjoy, even if it is just a cup of coffee with an understanding friend. We can look for things that make us laugh. We can also share our burden with a trusted friend who will bring encouragement. Of course, we can be honest with God and pour our hearts out before Him as David did often. Psalm 62:8 says, “Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge.” Shelly also suggests letting God use our sorrow to help others, and He may meet our needs at the same time. Another good way is to practice gratitude and give thanks in whatever is happening, for He is with us. He fully understands all that we will ever go through.

Perhaps we long for such a friend who won’t shame us or condemn us, but will show acceptance and mercy. To be fully known by another and accepted is the most beautiful gift we can receive from another. But we can only receive that gift if we are willing to be known, not who we want them to think we are, but who we truly are. It takes courage to admit our flaws and sins, and also receive from another honest feedback of loving truth. But when we are not known we live isolation at the core of our being. Like Dr. John Ortberg writes, “The more that is hidden, the less of myself that is able to be loved…And we can only be fully loved if we are fully known.”

What do we look for in such a friend? The first thing that comes to my mind is one who is safe: who keeps confidences and won’t share with others what I have spoken. The next thing would be someone who is discerning and I could trust to speak truth, not giving me a free pass, but telling me what I need to hear. I think it would be great if the listening person also shared struggles that they are working on to let me know they wrestle with some of the same issues I do. Knowing we both desire to grow in our faith life and our love for the Lord, and be accountable to one another would be important. The bottom line for all of us is: are we willing to disclose our real self to another and ask them to hold us accountable?

What happened in the early years of our lives and how we interpreted it has a great deal to do with how we view the present. We each have a story that involves events, emotions we experienced and the interpretations we learned from it. If we lost our father when we were young or he left our family for another, we might decide that we aren’t ever going to get close to others and put up walls. But God wants to help us deal with our interpretations so we can go deeper with the Lord and others. As we rehearse our story with a caring person, often those hidden unconscious memories surface so we see our story more clearly and let our interpretations be transformed.

We have a Heavenly Father who loves us, and we can be real with Him as we own our story. In His presence our story doesn’t change, but our interpretation can change in how it affects us along with our identity. The Holy Spirit helps us to reinterpret our story in light of God’s love! That also means repenting, turning from our false self and being open to our true-self to interpret the happenings through new eyes. Much like Joseph whose brothers meant evil for him and sold him as a slave. He recognized that God meant it for good as he reunited with family, saving them and the country from starvation. His story was no longer about the suffering he endured, but about how God placed him in the exact place to be used for great things. Jesus knows what i is like to suffer, and he is with us in whatever we go through, bringing beauty out of the ashes.