Professor Justin Bailey writes that there is a connection between attachment and how we approach prayer, experience joy, hope, forgiveness, etc. When we know a God who sees us and loves us, we feel secure and can trust His promises. We can’t secure ourselves in the fallen world that is full of evil and violence. If we try to find security in the world, we will find there are no safe places. We all have different responses because of our early childhood experiences. Bailey writes that if we were blessed with secure attachment, we develop a positive image of ourselves and others. We can solve problems and know that we have support from others when needed. If we have a preoccupied or anxious attachment, we may look at others positively but have a negative image of ourselves. We will be fearful others won’t be there for us. If we have a dismissing or avoidant attachment, we have a positive image of ourself but negative view of others and don’t feel a need for them. If we have a fearful attachment, we avoid close relationships and have a negative image of others as uncaring and ourselves as unlovable.
After reading about attachments, I see the importance of accepting and loving my self, but also having loving relationships with others where we feel safe. Maybe as you read this you didn’t have loving parents, but the Lord can be our attachment figure and heal our sense of insecurity. He is a father to the fatherless. Even if our parents forsake us, we can say as David did in Psalm 27:10, “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.” As we draw close to the Lord in prayer, we may begin to be seen and can trust. It is a gift when the Lord also gives us persons who listen to us and see us for who we are.
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