Recently, David French shared a blog entitled, “Against the Extremism of the American Masculinity Debate.”  When it comes to maleness, I follow French.  On other subjects, I’m not so sure…

“Few debates,” observes French, “are more corrupted by extremism than the debate over sex, gender and masculinity.”  I agree.  I have been blogging on masculinity since 2009.  At that time masculinity was seldom mentioned in the national conversation.  Now it has become an intense topic of debate.

French quotes Derek Thompson on the crisis among younger men: “The statistics are stunning.  But education experts and historians aren’t remotely surprised.  Women in the United States have earned more bachelor’s degrees than men every year since the mid-1980s… This particular gender gap hasn’t been breaking news for about 40 years.  But the imbalance reveals a genuine shift in how men participate in education, the economy, and society.  The world has changed dramatically, but the ideology of masculinity isn’t changing fast enough to keep up.”

The result is confusion regarding the role of young men in our culture.  Men are caught between the extremes of traditional masculinity being either toxic or a cultural ideal.  French offers “five general truths” to help us deal with the extremes.  

First, “Men and women are different, and they’ll always be different.”  French rightly observes, “biology has consequences.” We cannot simply try to erase the differences.  Men are faced with an ever-present unisex cultural ideal.  You’ll, “…find yourself fighting against overwhelming biological currents.”  

Second, “The differences between men and women are value-neutral.”  We are not to suppress the expressions of traditional masculinity, but “shape and mold those manifestations towards virtuous ends.”  This can only be accomplished when younger men see masculinity lived out in older men. Women cannot do this. 

Third, “Each boy and [each] girl is still an individual.”  French cautions, “One of the challenges of recognizing general truths is that they tend to oppress or isolate those who don’t fit the mold.”   For example, I struggled for years as a young man, trying to fit into the macho stereotype – not knowing I was a “feeling, intuitive” male who happened to be left-handed.     

Fourth, “Core values are universal.”  The fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) are the same for men and women (Gal. 5:22-23).  The command to act justly, love kindness, and walk humbly before God (Micah 6:8) is the same for men and women.  “There is not one set of male virtues and one set of female virtues.”  

Fifth, “Because men and women are different, universal values will often manifest themselves differently.”  In French’s opinion, “This is how good men and good women – brought up in the same universal values – can still tend towards different temperaments and professions. ” Men, for example, will tend to be more courageous in danger because of their strength.  Women will be more nurturing because many bear children. 

The evolution of our economy and culture presents a challenge for men and boys.  “[But filtering] these changes through our polarized, extremist politics, and radical ideologies” makes matters worse.  French concludes by saying, “The goal isn’t to embrace or reject stereotypes, but rather to realize that no matter your son’s temperament, there is always a path to raising a boy to be his own version of a good man.” 

I must confess: In my early days I was more dogmatic about male gender and roles.  I have become more flexible in today’s cultural moment.  But God made men to be men. I am committed to stand with godly men in our day.