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“Faith, fatherhood, and masculinity” was the title of a panel at the recent National Religious Broadcasters convention. The focus was on the needs of families in today’s increasingly hostile culture. In her remarks, Mary Eberstadt summarized the 20th century in six words, “Men are at war with God.” She contended, “Men and women are at war with God over the first question in history, which is ‘Who gets to direct creation?'”
She believes the major social issues of our day can be traced back to the sexual revolution. “It loosened the bonds of family, the bonds of community, patriotism and love of community.” As a result, Eberstadt contends we have three “crises of paternity.” They are: “1) The crisis involving our Supernatural Father, and our relationship to Him. 2) The crisis involving our earthly fathers. 3) The crisis involving patriotism, our love of country. She maintains, “If we understand that these three crises are interrelated, we’ll have taken one step towards starting to address them.”
Also on the panel was Nancy Pearcey, author of “The toxic war on Masculinity.” “Certainly one of the tragedies of our day is the way fathers are ridiculed and mocked in the media today,” Pearcey noted. She gave several examples including an article in The New York Times, which said in part, “One of the most frustrating problems in evolutionary biology is the male, specifically, why doesn’t he just go away?” Another from The Atlantic – “The bad news for dad: There is nothing objectively essential about his contribution.”
Pearcey counters such widely held sentiment regarding the masculine, by referring to examples in modern research and data that disprove the toxic masculinity point of view. First, she cited anthropologist David Gilmore. He found that all cultures affirm that good men do three things: provide, protect and procreate. Secondly, Pearcy cited research that shows, “Christian men who are authentically committed, and attend church regularly, are actually the most loving and engaging husbands and fathers.”
Thirdly, Pearcy cited Brad Wilcox, author of “Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization,” who found that, “the happiest of all wives in America are religious conservatives. 73% of women who hold conservative gender values, and attend church regularly with their husbands, have high-quality marriages.” Lastly, Pearcey noted that contrary to popular claims, fatherhood is not a “social invention.” Psychologists have found what they call, “the dad brain.” “There is a nest of neurons that are activated when a man becomes a father….. God has literally given men a biochemical boost to bond with their children. So, the facts are in, men are wired for fatherhood. It’s not a cultural invention. God has designed the neurochemistry of men to be engaged and loving fathers.”
This is all “good news” for embattled fathers (and grandfathers like myself). Here is reinforcement for men both young and old to stand as exemplars of a godly father in an age of tragic fatherlessness. In Psalm 10, the Psalmist asks why do the wicked succeed? Although God may seem to be hidden at times, we can be assured that he is aware of every injustice. He sees the plight of the fatherless. “The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless” (Ps. 10:14). As men we can pray, “You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that men, who is of the earth, may terrify no more” (vv. 17-18).
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families (Ps 68:5-6).
The Lord wants all of us and that means dealing with the clutter of our hearts. It’s a deep inner work that involves our attitudes, emotions, beliefs and actions. We have to confront those negative things in our lives and Mark Roberts from Fuller Seminary also shared on Crosswalk.com about it. His timing for my life is perfect as I desire that my thoughts, feelings and actions to be in tune with the Lord and acknowledge my own sinful responses. It takes courage on the part of us all to be truthful and look honestly at our own hearts. It’s more than going through the outward motions of changing our behavior and more of an inner cleansing to see how God sees us. Roberts uses Psalm 51 to help us, like David, to know how to pray and deal with all the clutter within. I want to share His prayer and may we make it our own prayer. “Gracious God, thank you for the example of Psalm 51. Thank you for David’s courageous look into his own sinful soul. Thank you for how the Psalms teach us to pray with open minds and hearts. Help me, I pray, to have the same confidence and courage that David had. I admit, Lord, there are times I don’t want to confess my sin to you. Sometimes I don’t even want to look inside of myself to acknowledge what’s there. I need your help, Lord. May I discover how doing the inner work of confession is a way to experience the forgiveness and restoration that comes from your grace. Amen.”
There is often debate about head and heart. Should we listen more to our head, or will we let our heart guide us? If we are to mature in the Lord, we need both along with our thoughts and feelings, the rational and the emotional. Some of us lean one way and some another, but that is why we are often put with people that are quite different or even opposite of us. It promotes good balance, and we grow in new ways.
Some Pastors preach so much on heaven that they miss the mission of what we are to do on earth. Jesus told his disciples but also to all of us to “Go make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold I am with you always to the end of the age.” (Matt. 28:19-20.) We are to be sharing the Lord with others, but we are also to live with heaven in mind.
Are we to spend hours praying or are we to be out in the community helping the poor and the sick? Both are needed. The Lord would have us functioning as He directs us and learning to love even in new ways. May our hearts be open and receptive and serve Him by giving of our lives.so that at even the end of our lives will bless others.
“I don’t know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don’t borrow from its sunshine,
For its skies may turn to gray.
I don’t worry o’er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I’ll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.
We all go through hard times of sadness and mourning, and it is part of our healing, but let us not get stuck there for we need to let joy come into our lives again. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalms 30:5
Where we live at Northern Lakes, many have lost their loved ones and grief is very real and huge adjustments result. I notice that others who have lost their mates, come along side of them, for they have known that darkness of grief but also have known that the Lord will walk beside them and hold their hand. He will shine His light of healing into their lives and one day joy will return. Whatever we go through now, let us be assured we don’t go through it alone, for the Lord will never leave us, but walk us through it.
Because a person is a Christian doesn’t mean we will just naturally get along, but we may need to work at it; Paul gives some good pointers in Ephesians 4 as to how to stay unified. It made me think of our past mission teams to Mexico as we traveled many miles in the church van together, did ministry and then a long trip home again. We had to not focus on what we wanted but what was good for the whole. Some team members were easier to get along with and a few might have been challenging for the whole team. Paul tells us to have humility and “steadily pour ourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.” He goes on to say we need to all grow up and keep in step with one another and be permeated with Oneness. He encourages us to use the gifts we were given and let God reproduce His character in us.
Paul also warns us against lying to each other and to be truth tellers instead, saying what would help them. We are to be gentle and sensitive to one another and watch out for back biting. Yes, we may get angry with one another, but we aren’t to stay that way but quick to make amends. What Paul is telling the people is not just for them but also for us today, whether it be with others at church or our family members, to remember we are on the same team with an awesome destination. Let us not make it harder for them but use our gifts to encourage them. Who knows, they may be ushered into heaven first and will one day reach out to welcome us into our eternal glory.
Devotions from Judy’s heart
It reminded me of II Cor. 518, “Therefore if any person is (ingrafted) in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old (previous moral and spiritual condition) has passed away. Behold the fresh and new has come!” That was so true of the changed life I saw before me. He was not just reformed but he was made new. When any one of us comes to the Lord in faith, we are made fresh and new, and we no longer live for ourselves but live to please the Lord. It doesn’t matter what we have done in the past for it is forgiven and we are set free. When our heart is changed, it also shows up in our countenance, the way we live our life, and also in our works. It is not to bring glory to ourselves but glory to the Lord, out of His love for us.
Paul also said in Col 2:6-7, “As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” Every day each of us should be growing and being built up in our faith and seeking to please the Lord. When we first come to know Himl it is only the beginning of a lifelong process of living our whole lives for Him.
Aaron Renn has written an important book, “Life in the Negative World.” It is meant for evangelicals learning to live in a culture where a biblical faith is seen as a negative influence on others. In a recent blog, Renn noted “About a quarter of the book is an updated and expanded version of my diagnosis of what’s happening in evangelicalism and its relationship with society at large. But three quarters of it is about how evangelicals should start living in this new era I’ve called the ‘Negative World.'”
I have been following Renn on line for sometime. I regard his insights worthy of serious reflection and discussion. In his blog he wanted to “highlight four themes that you can use as a guide in thinking through the ideas I share in the book.” I believe they are worthy of our attention as men who want to follow Jesus.
First, a posture of exploration. In the world as well as the church are in a time of rapid change and uncertainty. We all are experiencing significant change. Renn believe this should lead us into “adopting a posture of exploration.” “Today’s world is much more like a ‘zero to one’ startup. We are in the unknown territory and have to get more comfortable walking by faith rather than sight.” Using the Israelites crossing the Jordan River into the promised land as an example, he suggests, “They had known only the wilderness, which was their comfort zone. Now they had to venture into the unknown, following the ark because they had not been this way before.”
Second, increased focus on being a counterculture. Renn believes, “the evangelical church needs to spend much more time self-consciously and intentionally stewarding the strength and health of its own community.” He sees evangelicalism as internally weak. He suggests there should be more of an internal focus rather then that of an external focus. The image of building an ark to survive the flood would be a good image for the church to adopt
Thirdly, a minority mindset. We are no longer a “moral majority” representing the cultural mainstream of America. “This means,” according to Renn, “that evangelicals need to learn to act like other minorities have always acted. We have to create our own institutions and practices that demarcate and sustain community life and be less reliant on the mainstream institutions of society. Evangelicals do not need to take responsibility for or invest in mainstream institutions.”
Fourthly, raising the bar on church. When Christianity was the de facto national religion, most people were members and attended. The bar was rather low; discipleship and belief were seen as artificial barriers to membership. But Renn maintains, “As evangelicalism becomes more of a minority faith that requires an unpopular choice to embrace, this gives evangelical churches the opportunity to raise the bar for what they expect out of their members. Raising this bar will be crucial to having stronger churches as well.”
These four suggestions can work effectively for any gathering of men, wanting to combat the effects of the shrill voices regarding toxic masculinity. Men, the culture is not going to give us the guidance, encouragement and support to be a godly man. We must be more creative in building communities of men who are about to build an ark, so as to rescue especially younger men. We will need to accept the status of minorities, while calling men to whole hearted allegiance to the Lord. I am thankful for the godly men in my life. Jesus said, “Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self” (Mark 8:36 – Message).
Eugene Peterson writes how David was anointed to be king while Saul reigned, but it wasn’t until 20 years later that he actually ruled and reigned as king. In the meantime, he learned how to rule with a servant’s heart How about us? What does our work reveal about us? Does it express our values and convictions, or do we do we hide behind our role and present ourselves as how we think others want to see us in a certain way? Some employees are shocked when they see their boss at a Christian rally as they had no idea that they knew the Lord. That doesn’t say much for their everyday behavior at work. Peterson writes, “The place in which God’s purposes are developed in our lives is a workplace in which we learn how to do king work.” The way we do our work is equally important as the work we actually do. That includes being the CEO or being a housewife.
If we are to finish well in life, we need to be aware of the Lord in whatever work we do and do it for His glory. Our work should stand as a witness to others as to who reigns in our lives. Each day God desires that our work will develop our character and express His love. As it says in Isaiah 60:1 (Amplified), “Arise (from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you—rise to a new life)! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!”
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