Do you ever feel like your spiritual life has hit a brick wall?  Especially this past year, have you found yourself depending on others to feed you spiritually, while inside you are thirsting for something to sustain you?  Are you afraid of others getting a glimpse of what is really going on in your soul?  Are you on spiritual “life support”?  Well, there is hope – if you are willing to take the plunge.

Sometimes music and poetry can grab our attention, getting us beyond the “control tower” of our minds to speak to our hearts about what is really going on in our lives.  Recently I came across these words from the German poet, Rainer Maria Rilke: “You are not dead yet, it’s not too late to open your depths by plunging into them and drink in the life that reveals itself quietly there.”  They were the inspiration for this blog.

Jesus was hard on the Pharisees for their outward show of religion, while they were empty on the inside. They were all about religious performance, giving little attention to their soul life.  They were disturbed with Jesus because he saw through their performance.  Listen: “You’re hopeless, you religious scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh…you’re total frauds” (Matt. 23:27-28 – Message).

For our own spiritual health, we all need to look “under the hood” sometimes.  That means we need to take the plunge. Jesus is at the center. Yes, he is in heaven, but He has come to live in our hearts.  I am assuming you are born again and a new creation in Christ. If so, Jesus has made his home in you.  “My Father will love him and will come to him and make our home with him” (John 14:23).  Paul reminds us, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Gal 2:20).  

When you take the plunge, fix your eyes on Jesus.  I am not taking about introspection or digging up the “dry bones” of the past.  I am talking about developing an intimate relationship with the God who loves us.  He is the ever-inflowing God.  As you take the plunge you will find living water, to quench your dry and thirsty soul that you know is on life support.  Jesus promised, “indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:13).  

Jesus promised we would not thirst: “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him” (John 7:38).  So, if you are on life support, I encourage you to take the plunge – and heed what he has to say.  

Jeremiah warns us about forsaking living water:  “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water” (Jer. 2:13).  He portrays for us, “a picture of absurd agricultural stupidity, and a…picture of wrenching physical futility” (The Bible Speaks Today).  You have living water flowing in you. Why go through all the religious performance?  

Men, we sometimes have to admit we are on life-support and by faith take the plunge and “drink in the life that reveals itself quietly there.” Jesus waits for you in love.  Simply confess that you’re thirsty – and ask him to help.

My bride and I had a disagreement on a recent Sunday morning as we were getting ready for church.  We came to an agreement and went off to the service. But I did not let go. I shut down emotionally. We both knew the oneness of spirit was missing.  I nursed my wounds all day. Monday morning helped me see the light. I repented, knelt before Judy, and sought her forgiveness.

As I reflected on my relational “stumbling,” the words, “You abandoned your post” came to me. I was convicted of my lack of sensitivity to my wife’s emotional and spiritual needs.  I realized that in acting childishly and nursing my self-pity, I simply walked away from the emotional space I am to help provide in our marriage.  I abandoned my wife, leaving her alone and emotionally vulnerable.    

I believe, accept, and desire to live out my role to lead in our relationship (Eph. 5:23).  Part of my responsibility is to cultivate and protect her emotional space.  But what I did was abandon my post.  I have done that before; this time, however, I saw how damaging it was to my wife.  I could see it in her eyes and in her tone of voice.

In our marriage, our oneness makes me complete in the Lord.  I can say with Adam, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh!  Name her woman for she was made from man.” (Gen. 2:23 – Message).  I need to treat Judy as I would treat myself. “So men ought to give their wives the love they naturally have for their own bodies.  The love a man gives his wife is the extending of his love for himself to enfold her” (Eph. 5:28 – Phillips).   

After 55 years of marriage, I am becoming increasingly aware of my bride’s emotional needs and how I can take our relationship for granted.  My role is to cherish my wife, giving her space to grow in the Lord. It helps me to see her as a blooming flower. “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens” (Song of Songs 2:2).  Praise the Lord for this newfound sensitivity.  I have missed so many cues over the years.    

For what it’s worth to men reading this blog, here is some of what I am learning.  I still fail, but I’m learning to create emotional space. 

First, put my wife’s needs first. This means to not take our relationship for granted.  “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way” (I Cor. 13:4 NLT).    

Second, have a caring, loving attitude.  My wife can easily detect insincerity.  Only the Spirit of Christ can help me be consistent. “Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly” (Col. 3:19 NLT).

Third, use words to build up. Words can either build my wife up or subtly cause her to doubt herself and fade as a beautiful flower. “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry” (James 1:19 NLT).

Fourth, watch your tone of voice.  I never knew how vital this is in communicating and really have to work at this. It is so easy to sound negative and condescending.  Love “is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged” (I Cor.13:5 NLT).

Last, be quick to admit failure.  “…Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed…” (James 5:16). My ego must go first. That’s what a good leader does (Matt. 20:26-27).