Recently, David French shared a blog entitled, “Against the Extremism of the American Masculinity Debate.”  When it comes to maleness, I follow French.  On other subjects, I’m not so sure…

“Few debates,” observes French, “are more corrupted by extremism than the debate over sex, gender and masculinity.”  I agree.  I have been blogging on masculinity since 2009.  At that time masculinity was seldom mentioned in the national conversation.  Now it has become an intense topic of debate.

French quotes Derek Thompson on the crisis among younger men: “The statistics are stunning.  But education experts and historians aren’t remotely surprised.  Women in the United States have earned more bachelor’s degrees than men every year since the mid-1980s… This particular gender gap hasn’t been breaking news for about 40 years.  But the imbalance reveals a genuine shift in how men participate in education, the economy, and society.  The world has changed dramatically, but the ideology of masculinity isn’t changing fast enough to keep up.”

The result is confusion regarding the role of young men in our culture.  Men are caught between the extremes of traditional masculinity being either toxic or a cultural ideal.  French offers “five general truths” to help us deal with the extremes.  

First, “Men and women are different, and they’ll always be different.”  French rightly observes, “biology has consequences.” We cannot simply try to erase the differences.  Men are faced with an ever-present unisex cultural ideal.  You’ll, “…find yourself fighting against overwhelming biological currents.”  

Second, “The differences between men and women are value-neutral.”  We are not to suppress the expressions of traditional masculinity, but “shape and mold those manifestations towards virtuous ends.”  This can only be accomplished when younger men see masculinity lived out in older men. Women cannot do this. 

Third, “Each boy and [each] girl is still an individual.”  French cautions, “One of the challenges of recognizing general truths is that they tend to oppress or isolate those who don’t fit the mold.”   For example, I struggled for years as a young man, trying to fit into the macho stereotype – not knowing I was a “feeling, intuitive” male who happened to be left-handed.     

Fourth, “Core values are universal.”  The fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) are the same for men and women (Gal. 5:22-23).  The command to act justly, love kindness, and walk humbly before God (Micah 6:8) is the same for men and women.  “There is not one set of male virtues and one set of female virtues.”  

Fifth, “Because men and women are different, universal values will often manifest themselves differently.”  In French’s opinion, “This is how good men and good women – brought up in the same universal values – can still tend towards different temperaments and professions. ” Men, for example, will tend to be more courageous in danger because of their strength.  Women will be more nurturing because many bear children. 

The evolution of our economy and culture presents a challenge for men and boys.  “[But filtering] these changes through our polarized, extremist politics, and radical ideologies” makes matters worse.  French concludes by saying, “The goal isn’t to embrace or reject stereotypes, but rather to realize that no matter your son’s temperament, there is always a path to raising a boy to be his own version of a good man.” 

I must confess: In my early days I was more dogmatic about male gender and roles.  I have become more flexible in today’s cultural moment.  But God made men to be men. I am committed to stand with godly men in our day.

During a recent Sunday morning worship service, we sang “Turn Your Eyes.”  But as we sang, I began to weep.  I sensed God was speaking to me.  You may ask, “How does Al know it was God?”  I have walked with the Lord for over 60 years.  I have learned through trial and error how to discern the Lord’s voice.  Two factors were evident to me during the worship service:  First, I was in no way expecting to tear up. Second, when I shed tears unexpectedly, I have found it is of the Lord.  Your experience might be different from mine.  Remember: we all experience him uniquely.  

The words to the song start out with an old chorus: “Turn your eyes upon Jesus” and then move into a contemporary arrangement.  I was moved by the chorus: “Jesus, to You we lift our eyes/Jesus our glory and our prize/We adore you, behold You, our Savior ever true/Oh, Jesus we turn our eyes to You.”  It goes on to say, “Turn your eyes to the heavens/Our king will return for His own/Every knee will bow, every tongue will shout/All glory to Jesus alone.” 

I write this post as a confession, in the hope that it might stimulate other men to see God’s faithful hand in their journey.  God does not want us to abandon our post in the coming battle.   I’d like to share three reflections with you:

First, when we sang “Turn your eyes upon Jesus,” the song took me back to the early days after my conversion at the California Lutheran Bible School from 1960 to 1962.  Those were foundational years in my spiritual formation.  My confession is this: I have lost my first love…  “Yet I hold this against you.  You have forsaken the love you had at first.  Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first” (Rev 3:4-5). 

When the above scripture reads, “Do the things you did at first,” I confess that the enthusiasm and excitement of those early days has waned.  I now see that my life must be all for Jesus.  I have let spiritual practices, theology, and my spiritual improvement projects get in the way of my first love.  I just need to seek to know Jesus better (John 17:3).” 

Secondly, I have come back full circle to my roots, which are in the warm-hearted, evangelistic movement of the Lutheran church.  I belong to a church of the Association of Free Lutheran Congregations.   We are part of the revival movements within the Lutheran tradition.  I have spent much time “tasting” the rich spiritual fruit of other movements and traditions.  But God has brought me back home to my roots.

Thirdly, I must be willing to speak the name of Jesus in a culture that is fast becoming an “antichrist” culture.  This has happened throughout history in cultures that have forsaken the Lord.  I John warns us, “Children, time is just about up.  You heard that Antichrist is coming.  Well, they’re all over the place, antichrists everywhere you look.  That’s how we know that we’re close to the end” (I John 2:18 MSG). 

I share this confession with you because the enemy wants you to become lukewarm or even deny the Lord, like Peter did.  But we need to sing, “Jesus, to You we lift up our eyes.”  With the Psalmist we make it our confession. “Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.  Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” (Psalm 131:2 NLT).