Pastor Tim Keller has written a new book on forgiveness.  He believes the therapeutic age and cancel culture have created a crisis with the Christian practice of forgiveness.  He sees therapeutic forgiveness as more of a private emotional practice rather than dealing with one’s own sinful response to being sinned against. And because of our cancel culture, many young people question the need to forgive. They don’t know how to forgive, nor are they even sure they should. 

Keller observes, “There’s a cultural moment here where I think forgiveness is very important to talk about.  We live in a culture that is very fragmented, polarized, there’s an awful lot of anger, and people are really after each other. Forgiveness is not in the air.”

According to Keller, four actions are involved in real forgiveness:

1) “…Name the trespass truthfully as wrong and punishable, rather than merely excusing it.” 

2) “…Identify with the perpetrator as a fellow sinner rather than thinking how different from you he or she is… will their good.” 

3) “…Release the wrongdoer from liability by absorbing the debt oneself rather than seeking revenge and paying them back.” 

4) “…Aim for reconciliation rather than breaking off the relationship forever.” 

Keller examines common obstacles to forgiveness, including the influence of social media and how today’s therapeutic age focuses on self-interest.  He invites readers to consider Christ to better understand how he atoned for sin, and to follow Christ’s example. “Don’t let yourself be twisted. Take in what Jesus Christ has done, put your little story about what people have done to you in the big story of what he did for you, and you’ll have power you need to grant forgiveness.”

My concern in this blog is for men to be learning a “lifestyle of forgiveness.”  In the Lord’s Prayer, forgiveness is the only petition repeated: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matt 6:14). Jesus then warns about living in unforgiveness. “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive you” (v. 15).  A forgiving heart is an open heart. There is no grace for a closed heart that is turned in on itself in bitterness or revenge.

By carrying our sins in his body, Jesus can heal our relational wounds. Those who forgive are the real healers in our culture.  “He personally carried away our sins in his own body on the cross so we can be dead to sin and live for what is right.  You have been healed by his wounds!” (I Peter 2:24).  Paul reminded the Colossians of their calling.  “Be even tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.  Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.” (Col. 3:12-13 – Message).

I believe God is raising up a whole generation of “strong-hearted” men. These are men who have processed the arrows that have pierced their hearts. They are learning to walk the way of Jesus. “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing.  That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it” (I Peter 3:9-10).  These are the “walking wounded.”

Above all don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the cancel culture.  Men with “strong hearts” will not allow themselves to be victims.  By the grace of God we move beyond anger and self-pity because Jesus is our healer. “Lord, help us learn better how to forgive – by your grace and power.”

Pope Benedict died on December 31st at the age of 95.  For me, Benedict was an outstanding biblical theologian who integrated the head and the heart in his teaching.  Reportedly, His final words were, “Lord, I love you.” As a young Lutheran pastor wanting to integrate the rich spiritual tradition of the Catholic Church with my evangelical roots, Benedict gave me permission to embrace Catholic spirituality.  Peter Kreeft said this about the Pope: “What he showed me, both as Ratzinger and as Benedict, was simply a shining and encouraging example of what it means to be a teacher, a theologian and, above all, a saint.  He was a gentle giant.”

James Houston influenced me to pay attention to Cardinal Ratzinger back in the 1980’s when he was Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, a position he held from 1981-2005.  I appreciated his defense of a biblical faith that was under assault from inside and outside the Church.  The Vatican published the late Pope’s spiritual testament shortly after his death. In it he urged believers to stand strong in the faith, even in face of philosophical and scientific opposition. “I saw and see how out of the tangle of assumptions the reasonableness of faith emerged and emerges again. Jesus Christ is truly the way, the truth and the life – and the Church, with all its insufficiencies, is truly His body.”

As a Cardinal, Ratzinger reflected on the church’s future in a 1969 broadcast in Germany. Many believe he was prophetic in his comments: “From the crisis of today the Church of tomorrow will emerge – a Church that has lost much.  She will become small and will have to start afresh more or less from the beginning… In contrast to an earlier age, it will be seen much more as a voluntary society, entered only by free decision.  As a small society, it will make much bigger demands on the initiative of her individual members.” 

As my wife and I try to make sense of what is happening in our world, these words seem to fit what we anticipate happening in the future. God is purifying His church.  Those who are committed to Jesus and his kingdom will be forming into “small societies.” People of various traditions will find new life as they band together.

The Pope then made an observation that seems to relate to our present identity as believers: “…The Church will find her essence afresh and with full conviction in that which was always at her center: faith in the triune God, in Jesus Christ, the Son of God made man, in the presence of the Spirit until the end of the world… The Church will be a more spiritual Church, not presuming upon a political mandate, flirting as little with the Left as with the Right.” “The process,” warned the Pope, “will be all the more arduous, for sectarian, narrow-mindedness as well as pompous self-will have to be shed.”  

Men, may these words of Pope Benedict motivate and inspire you to keep the faith. Jesus warned us that “because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold” (Matt. 24:12).  Ratzinger’s teaching always had “a laser-sharp focus on Jesus Christ as the unsurpassable revelation of God’s love,” notes John Cavadini.  “Not only is he a brilliant theologian, but he is always pastoral in his approach, always trying to help people see what our religion means and why it is important.” In other words, men, always make Jesus your center – and the first and last word in all matters.