Category: Wildman Journey (Page 68 of 85)

Years ago I read and memorized a passage from Proverbs 5 that warned about adultery.  I was a young father and husband so I took the words to heart.  “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well” (v 15).   Then verse 18 reads as follows, “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.”  I took this to mean that God had provided a fountain for me in my relationship with my wife, Judy.  I have the joy of drinking deeply from this well.  This means not only emotionally but also physically.  I am to find fullfillment for my sexual desires through my relationship with Judy, who is “a loving doe, a graceful deer” (v19).  This has been true now for 47 years. 

I was reminded of this passage when I read Eric Metaxas recent post on the Breakpoint site for Oct 8th.  I got both angry and energized as I read his post.  Angry because of our culture’s deeply flawed worldview, which has caused so much harm in sexual relationships and energized to encourage men to drink deeply from their own well, that is, their marriage.  Men, we must never neglect to remember that God’s moral laws, similiar to the laws of nature, cannot be broken without consequences.  God tell us not to commit adultery.  Just as we cannot brake the law of gravity without harm so to with the moral law of God, articulated in the 10 commandments

Metaxas referred to a recent article in the New Yorker that described a new stain of gonorrhea that is resistent to the only class of drugs that can “reliably treat” the disease. For 18 centuries the disease was a constant reminder of the dangers of promiscuity.  One 18 century writer called it a “memorandum of vice.”  It will soon be spreading to the U.S.  In the words of the article, “Whatever freedoms were won during the sexual revolution, bacterial evolution promises soon to constrain.”  So there you have it – our human freedom is limited by nature, not by moral choice.  This is regretable if you have a faulty world view.  The article goes on to says, the “primary hope for stemming the expected epidemic…lies in persuading people to alter their behavior.”  The implication of this attitude is not being  “chaste” but rather “practicing safe sex.” 

Metaxas notes, “The Sexual Revolution may have lost the war against micro-organisms, but its’s still prevailing among public health officals…These are the same people who, rightly, tell us to eat less, exercise more, quit smoking, etc.  In other words, in the name of public health they won’t hesitiate to ask for radical changes in behavior to combat obesity or hypertension….But when it comes to sexual behavior, they somehow believe that asking for a measure of self-control is asking a bit too much.”

I assume I am writing to men who are married.  While the philosophy expressed in the New Yorker angers me, I am motivated to encourage and stand by Christian men of conviction who want to be “a one-woman man.”  We each have a strong sexual drive with a lot of energy.  The passage I quoted from Proverbs expresses this energy as “running water” coming from our well.  Men, I need all the grace and strength God gives me to keep the flow of this energy channeled  in the proper stream.  If I let myself go, the stream will disperse into wrong places, thereby dilating my sexual energy.  God help us to be “chaste” men.  Men who are faithful to the bride in our life, who have made a covenant with their eyes, and a committment to keep the water from well flowing in a godly manner. 

 Proverbs 5:16 questions us men, “Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?”  Sexual freedom for a chaste man is found in heart relationship with Jesus, who gives a man the spiritual strength to keep our sexual energy flowing in the proper stream, not “overflowing in the streets.”  To “drink from our own cistern” will not be easy in our permissive culture.  I am a man – I know.  My greatest help has come in being open and vulnerable to the Lord in my struggle and shame, knowing that in love He is there to give me strength to “drink from my own well.”

I have been thinking about a insightful comment by Richard Rohr, when he describes the spiritual journey as “God coming to us disguised as our life.”  What does he mean?  It simply means that we have an openness of mind and heart to see God in our daily life.  David Benner points it this way, “It is responding to life with a ‘YES’ of acceptance and gratitude and then living with the inner stillness and presence that is part of being a good host to the Spirit of God who dwells within.”  For us men, faith can very easily become a mental activity of belief, rather than that of trust, which entails an open heart. Control rather then surrender is our preference.  While belief in solid doctrine is vital for a proper framework for our journey, belief can easily keep us in our heads.

On the other hand, trust demands much more from us then cognitive assent to propositions.  Trust is evidenced in a whole hearted openness to God in our everyday life.  Benner describes this openness as “leaning into God with trust”.  This leaning into God will prompt us to leave the safe, familiar surroundings that we have constructed for ourselves.  These are our attempts to carve out a secure place to stand.  The trouble is that the foundations are sinking sand.  Trust calls us to move beyond the safety of the familiar.  Trust means a willingness to let go and follow.  Hebrews 11:8 tells us of Abraham, “By and act of faith, Abraham said yes to God’s call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home.  When he left he had no idea where he was going.  By an act of faith he lived in the country promised him, lived as a stranger camping in tents” (The Message).

A trust that leans into God, no matter what the circumstances are, is not for faint of heart or the man who tends to compromise.  Real transformation, the making of a man from the inside out, simply will not happen unless a man lets go.  Like Abraham you will not know where you are going.   Jesus tells us that we must lose our life before we can truly find it.  We would rather have our leading foot be on something solid before we risk stepping forward with the other.  We would rather not risk the leap, as it were, and feel the fear of a free fall.  But it is only in the falling that our heart comes to know that we are held in love.  Only then will we begin to see that all that comes to us on our journey is from God.  He comes to us disguised as our life.

Again, I believe I am writing to men who are in the second half of life.  You have built your own secure, safe place.  But it is cramped, closed and lacking in freedom.  You are getting tired of trying to keep up the same old projects of “self management.”  My greatest concern is that there are men reading this blog that have gone into “a coasting mode” in their spiritual life, having tried all the “religious” stuff.   Men, there is a better way.  Transformation is not for the faint-hearted.  When a man begins to listen to the inner prompting of his soul, he is being awakened.  If that is happening to you, don’t put on the cap of control and reason.  Trust that God is bringing change that you have no control in implamenting.   As you continue on the journey you will experience a joy and freedom that only comes from the Spirit of God, who is creating a deeper and wider inner space to experience his presence.  You will have eyes to see that God comes to you in all the events of your life.  Nothing is wasted – everything belongs.  You might not like falling.  But in your falling, you are falling “upward”  into the life that God has planned for you.

I assume that most of the men who are reading this blog are in the second half of life, that is, they are probably past forty years of age and are wondering what is next in their life.  In the first half of life a man needs to build his container, giving him a strong sense of who he is.  In the second half of life, which is the further journey, he needs to find the contents that the container was meant to hold.  In the first half of life we discover the script for our life, and in the second half we actually write and own the script.  I happen to agree with Richard Rohr, that we are primarily a first half of life culture.  Our focus is on success, achievement, self image, security, etc.  There is little guidance for men, when it comes to the second half.  Why?  Because we are a lazy culture, even spiritually. 

It is natural for us to want to stay with the familiar, the tested and the known.  But the second half of our life is learning to fnd “the task within the task.”  We are afraid to ask, “What am I really doing when I am doing what I am doing?”  There comes that time in a man’s life when “the inner promotings” that orignate within his soul, call for attention.  It is at this point that men have a choice.  Either we wake up to what is going on in our soul, or we put the lid on this prompting and continue on “automatic pilot,” doing what we have always been doing; staying in control and having a handle on what is going on in my life.

Men, I want you to know that I am speaking from very personal and painful experience.  Very few men volunteer for the further journey.  Why? Because it means a lot of “unlearning” and being brought to the place of humility. It will usually take some failure, falling or disappointment to get your attention.  Trust me, this is a moment of grace.  This can often be the only way God can get a man’s attention – through his failure.  I promise you, that you will come to a crisis, if you already have not, and it will cause you to make a choice.  Either you will fight on in what you think is best, or you will realize that God is calling you into a whole new understanding of your journey in life.  It is a time when your “soul life” which has been neglected during the first half demands attention.

As the writer of this blog, I am deeply committed to help men on their “further journey.”  Because we have so few men in our culture who have been willing to be taken on the further journey of the second half of life, there are few elders who can point the way.  I acknowledge I still have a long way to go, but when I read Richard Rohr’s book “Falling Upward,” I came to the deep realization that God had indeed helped me on the further journey.  It has kindled a passion in me to help younger men who are just beginning the further journey

While I had some help from others on a person to person basis, the path that was mapped out for me through my stumblings and failures was not visualized for me by others.  My burden in this blog is to be like a “watchmen” and “guide” for men who have the courage and desire to allow God to change them from the inside out.  To let go of the familiar and give control of who you are and your further journey to God is a very courageous act.  In my opinion, most Christian men would rather stay home, having fallen asleep, living life with little passion and purpose.  I want to stand by the man who says, “I am ready to go on the further journey.” 

Finally listen to Paul.  Here is a man on the further journey. “I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself.  If there was any way to get in on the resurrction for the dead, I wanted to do it…..Friends, don’t get me wrong; By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward – to Jesus.  I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back” (Phil 3:10-11, 13-14  – The Message)

As I continue to write this blog each week, I am receiving conformation that it is being read by a growing audience of men.  So each week I wonder what I should I write that will help men.  Much prayer and thought go into these words.  So today I am taking a “leap into the blue.”  I have a strong sense that I should write about the struggle all we men have with the latent power of  sin in our hearts.  Paul expresses this delimna well, “I realize that I don’t have what it takes.  I can will it, but I can’t do it.  I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it.  I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway.  My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions.  Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the best of me every time” (Rom 7:19-20 – The Message).   We will carry our “fallen” nature to the grave. Growth on the journey is having a realistic view of our “falling” enabling us to learn from our “falls.” 

Recently I came across these helpful words from Bernard of Clarivaux and Julian of Norwich. First from Bernard.  “The just fall into the hand of God and in a marvelous manner, even sin itself works for them towards righeousness.  ‘We know that for those who love God all things work together for good’  (Rom 8:28).  Does not a fall work for us for good if we become more humble and more careful because of it?”  Our falling is into the hands of God, not out of the hands of God.  So the question is not will we fall, but how we respond to the  falling.  If we humbly acknowledge our sin and look to God for mercy, only good can come out an incident of falling.  But if we pull away in shame, rebellion or blame we move further from God. Remember men, God’s love is not conditioned by our behavior.  He loves you unconditionally, period.  In your falling, you fall into the arms of love.  This is a reality we accept by faith.  Trust me when I say, it takes some getting used to the idea of falling into the hands of love when we fall.     

Then Julian of Norwich wrote this about our sinning. “We shall see in heaven for all eternity that though we have sinned grievously in this life, we were never hurt in God’s love, nor were we ever of less value in God’s sight. This falling is a test by which we shall have a high and marvelous knowing of love in God forever.  That love [of God] is hard and marvelous that cannot and will not be broken for [our] trespasses.” In other words, our sins, which we offer to God in repentance, are good in that they remove our complacency and self-reliance, forcing us to rely not on our effort to stop falling but on the mercy of God.  Michael Casey put it this way. “To believe that somehow God is not absent or dismayed by our grievous failures is a giant stride in the right direction.  It means that we have transcended all those inner voices of self-reproach that we have accumulated in a lifetime and have begun to accept as true the Good News that Jesus brought us.” 

A good spiritual practice in confession of our sin, is the use of Psalm 51.  There we have David’s heartfelt confession before God. He begins with a declaration of God’s love. “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions” (v 1).  He concludes with his confession with praise.  “Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declar your praise” (v15).  He ends up by declaring that what God looks for is not our effort at self improvement or the justifcation of our station in life, but a humble heart.  Here is the way The Message puts it, “Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you.  I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.  Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice” (vs16-17).  Accepting fully the reality of your “falling” in the presence of God, will produce in you a humble heart, that is grateful for the mercy of God.

Max Lucado has to be one of the most influential spiritual writers of our day.  When you go to a bookstore, his books take up a whole self.  I marvel at his output.  His latest book is entitled “Grace.”  I want to quote from his book and then make some personal comments.  Max writes, “We find it easier to trust the miracle of resurrection than the miracle of grace.  We so fear failure that we create the image of perfection, lest heaven be even more disappointed in us than we are.  The result?  The weariest people on earth.”  So Max encourages us to “Let grace happen….No more performing for God, no more clamoring after God.  Of all the things you must earn in life, God’s unending affection is not one of them.”

I have come to understand God grace as the lavish, abundant, generous expression of his love for me.  “Grace is God loving, God stooping, God coming to the rescue, God giving himself generously in and through Jesus Christ” (John Stott).  I have spent a lot of years not fully experiencing God’s grace in my life, not because I didn’t believe in God’s grace, but because it seemed too good to be true.  I experienced grace when I came to God in all my vulnerability and shame, in other words, as an undeserving sinner.   Grace was no longer an idea, but now a reality that touched to core of my brokenness. “God’s grace invites you – no, requires you – to change your attitude about yourself and take sides with God against your feelings of rejection” (Max).  Grace happens when we receive it in dependance and weakness.  Remember, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need.  My strength comes into its own in your weakness” (II Cor 12:9 – The Message)

Because of my unbelief, I actually hampered the work of grace in my life.  What Max states was true of me; I had a hard time trusting the miracle of grace.  God had no qualifications for me, except being repentant, that is, acknowledge my great need of grace.  In my inability to believe in the miracle of grace, I created barriers by my “salvation projects” and my attempts at “sin management,” none of which brought me freedom or peace.  Yes, grace is too good to be true.  But that is the whole point.  It is a miracle.  So again I say to each man  –  You have to sit there in the presence of God and just receive what he wants to give you,  his unconditional love, expressed in the grace of God give to you in Christ.  It is a miracle – don’t try to figure it out – just receive it.  Let grace happen.

I have a long ways to go as an instrument of God’s grace in this broken world.  But I am learning to just receive and let it flow.  I have to trust the river of grace.  My task is to ride with the flow.  It is God who is rich in mercy and grace.  John tells us in John 1:16, “We all live off his generous bounty, gift after gift after gift.  We got the basics from Moses, and then this exuberant giving and receiving” ( The Message).   Because of God’s love and grace expressed in Jesus, we can confidently embrace the reality that we live in a world that has at its core a generous and caring God.  God does not want to hold back on his goodness to each of us.  His desire is that we be open to receive all his offers us.  I thank God that I can have a perspective of a world that sees God at work in pouring out his grace to those who are willing to receive.  We live in a grace filled world.  Just let grace happen.  

I close with a final quote from Max. “Grace.  Let it, let him, so seep into the crusty cracks of your life that everything softens.  Then let it, let him, bubble to the surface, like a spring in the Sahara, in words of kindness and deeds of generosity.  God will change you, my friend.  You are a trophy of his kindness, a partaker of his mission.  Not perfect by any means but closer to perfection than you’ve ever been.  Steadily stronger, gradually better, certainly closer.  This happens when grace happens.  May it happen to you.”

We have had some excitment on the lake in the last couple of weeks.  You see, Judy’s cousin Tim and his son Matt have bought a cat in Canada.  No, it is not a pussy cut, but a a huge  bulldozer “cat” with a 15 ‘ blade.  They want to make some trails on their land, which happens to be adjacent to our land.  They are excited to put their “cat” to use, so they are willing to help us make prayer trails on our 4o acres.  We were out on our land plotting where the trails might go.  I learned some spiritual lessons while being with Tim and Matt.  As I write this post, I think of Jesus’ invitation in Luke 5 for Peter to “push out into deep water” (5:4).  Peter told Jesus that it had not been a good night.  But we read, “because you say so, I will let down the nets” (5:5).  They, of course, caught a lot of fish. 

First, I admire them for thinking  “outside the box” and going into “deep water.”   Not many individual landowners would buy a big “cat” and bring it down from Canada.  I sure would not be challenged to do such a thing.  But Tim and Matt have the capacity to be creative in such an adventure.  My creativity would be expressed much differently.  What I was learning from those two is the need for each of us men to be “risk takers” in the area of our capacity, not our incapacity.  I don’t think God will call us to step out of the box to do something that is contrary to our capacities.  But He will stretch us to be more dependent on him and go out as it were into “the deep waters” where we learn to trust.  How is God wanting to stretch you at this point in your journey?  It will always make you dependent on him in using you uniquely with your capacities.  In your weakness, you will find his strength.

Second, Tim and Matt wanted to share with me the excitement and thrill of exploring 40 acres of northwoods, to see the possibilites for making trails, so that retreatants could commune with God in nature.  I was a little reluctant to go “tramping” through woods.  But once I got back there, I could visualize the potential for a contemplative walk in the woods.  The experience of being in the middle of 40 acres of undisturbed forest, overlooking a ridge of large trees, can’t be compared with driving along a township road on the edge of the 40.   I thanked Tim and Matt for getting me out there.  There are times when we need to be challenged to get beyond “the familiar.”  Jesus knows when to challenge us.  What are you doing with the “nudging.”  You will see life differently.

Thirdly, Tim and I willingly followed Matt as he walked our 40 with the GPS readings found on his smart phone.  Don’t ask me how he did it.  But he know what he was doing, so we followed willingly.  A few times they had to wait for the 71 year old monk.  I was learning a wonderful lesson in following.  Men, our whole journey in life is following Jesus.  It will be our cross as men, to continually have to give up control and understanding.  Out there in the dense woods I was lost without Matt and his GPS markings.  Without Jesus I am lost in the woods.  He asks me to “put out in the deep” – to trust him.  Peter and the other fishermen did.  They caught fish and their lives were changed.  “Then Jesus said to Simon, ‘There is nothing to fear.  From now on you’ll be fishing  for men and women.’  They pulled their boats upon on the beach, left them, nets and all, and f0llowed him.” 

 Evidently life was not the fulfilled fishing.  But when Jesus came and challenged them to “push out into deep water,”  resulting in more fish then they could manage, they know that they were being invited to a greater challenge then a fishing career.  Peter didn’t think he was worthy to follow Jesus. “Master, leave.  I’m a sinner and can’t handle this holiness.  Leave me to myself.”  Do you feel like Peter?  Peter was reassured by Jesus because he left to follow him.  Men, when you “push out into deep water” your relationship with Jesus will change.  It will be a true adventure.  But nothing changes when we stay on the shore, playing it safe.

Back in the early 80’s I was deeply influenced by Richard Foster’s book “Celebration of Discipline.”  I became aware of the shallowness of my spiritual life.  I had prided myself as being a “spiritual” young pastor with a desire to serve God.  I never forgot the first paragraph, because it was very convicting to me. “Superficiality is the curse of our age.  The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem.  The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”  In this blog I want speak to the need for “deep men.”  Superficiality and instant satisfaction afflict many men on their spiritual journey when they continue to stay in their heads, that is, the control tower of reason and control, will fearing the depths of their souls where Jesus waits for them. 

Men in our culture can live all their lives on the surface, while neglecting the center.  “We are” says Richard Rohr, “a circumference people with little access to the center.  We live on the boundaries of our own lives, confusing edges with essence, too quickly claiming the superficial as a substance.”   When Paul prays that we might, “know this love [God’s love] that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Eph 3:19) he is referring to the center, where Jesus dwells.  If we take time to listen, we come in touch with the cry of our soul at the center.  The Psalmist put it this way. “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God” (Ps 42:1-2). 

Rohr goes on to make this interesting observation about the journey.  “We do not find our center.  It finds us….We don’t think ourselves into new ways of living.  We live ourselves into new ways of thinking.”  This means that we will have to be honest about our life on the edges (circumference) .  This is the reality we have constructed for our selves, making us shallow people.  Coming to the conviction that reality is at the center, we accept, admit, and confess our illusions about reality.   The Spirit helps us in this process. “God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along.  If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter.  He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.  He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God” (Rom 8:27-8 – The Message).  Think of it – you are pregnant with reality at the center.

Listen to Rohr once again. “Our journey around and through our realities (circumstances) lead us to the core reality where we meet both our truest self and our truest God.  We do not really know what it means to be human unless we know God.  We only know God through our own broken humanity.”  I want to get testimony to this reality.  I stood on the edges for years, trying to be spiritual, as I manufactured in my own mind, spiritual improvement projects, that would enhance my spiritual facade as a “professional holy man.”  It was a lot of work.  But in the years that I have now dared go to the center, I have came to greater peace with the real me (the good, bad and ugly) and a deeper knowledge of God’s love.  This is my new reality. But I have had take the journey to the center.  Of course, you never fully arrive.  It is a matter of always turning and coming home.

So my advise to any man reading this blog is this: give up the fight for your “manufactured” spiritual reality on the edges. Take it from an old “veteran” of the spiritual battles, it is not worth the fight.  Real life –  freedom, spaciousness, love, acceptance, etc. is found at the center.  Trust me, Jesus waits for you at the center.  Don’t stay in your head.  Spiritual life comes through death, not manufacturing reality.  “Unless a kernal of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.  But if it dies, it produces many seeds.  Anyone who loves their life will lose it (living at the edges), while anyone who hates their life in this world ( going to center) will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:24-25).

One of my favorite writers is Eric Metaxas.  He now writes on “the Breakpoint” blog.  He made reference to a series on the New York Times blog site concerning anxiety, which has become for many not a disorder, but a part of the human condition.  This anxiety is like an angst, “a kind of dread that comes from the suspicion that life, as we presently live it, doesn’t make sense.”  One recent post discussed busyness not due simply to ambition and drive, but rather a “dread [0f] what might have to be face in its absence.”  Busyness then becomes a kind of existential reassurance and a hedge against emptiness.  This busyness is self-imposed, by people who “feel anxious and guilty when they aren’t either working or doing something to promote their work.”

When I read these comments I immediately went in my mind to Jesus words in Matt 11: 28-30 from the Message.  “Are you tired?  Worn out?  Burned out on religion?  Come to me.  Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  When I mediate on this passage, I imagine having a center for my life.  Jesus is my “existential reassurance and a hedge against emptiness.”  With Jesus at the center, I will find real rest, while experiencing “the unforced rhythms of grace.”  He is the still center in the midst of my active life.  

Finding my center means knowing that at the deepest place within me, beyond my understanding and experience, Jesus abides there.  He is my center.  Jesus promised, “My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them” (John 14:23).   Paul express it as “this mystery which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Col 1:27).  I John 3:24 give us the assurance with these words, “And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us”   Because of this reality John goes on to say, “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (I John 4:4).  So men in the midst of all your craziness and the demands on your life there is a still, strong center.  It is Jesus.  He is your rock, your fortress, you shelter in the storm.  You are not empty, but full.   Think of it – He waits for you at the center.  Don’t neglect his voice.

So our task each day is to learn to live from the center. I believe that God is calling a new generation of men to live “soulful lives.”  Richard Rohr puts it nicely when he observes, “We are circumference people, will little access to the center.  We live on the boundaries of our own lives….confusing edges with essence, too quickly claiming the superficial as substance”  A soulful man know that he has a center as he learn to give attention to this ultimate reality within him.  He knows that at the core he can be at home, finding real rest.  It is from this place within, that he find the courage, strength and wisdom to arrange his priorities according to the one who has called him to given himself to something bigger then himself, learning to respond to his calling from God.

Rohr goes on to say that we do not find our center, it finds us. “We do not think ourselves into new ways of living.  We live ourselves into new ways of thinking – the journey around and through our realities (circumstances) lead us to the core reality where we meet both our truest self and our truest God.”  We begin as Jesus promised to recover our life.  Jesus invites us to walk with him and work with him.  Then remember this promise from Jesus, “I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  There is a lifestyle to be envied by anyone suffering from angst.

Curtis Martin, who retired as a running back for the NY Jets, recently was inducted into the pro football Hall of Fame.  He finished as the fourth-leading rusher in NFL history.  I came across a press release of his story.  I was so moved by his attitude and approach to life that I want to reflect on his story.

He grew up in a rough neighborhood in Pittsburgh.  His father was an alcoholic, who would beat and torture his mother by setting her hair on fire and pressing burning cigarettes to her legs.  Martin in his acceptance remarks said, “My greatest achievement in my life was healing my mother and nurturing my mother.”  His mother urged him to play football to stay out of trouble.  Even when New England coach Bill Parcells decided to draft him out of Pitt, Martin was not sure he wanted to play football.  “I played for a purpose bigger than the game because I knew that the love for the game just wasn’t in my heart.  Parcells became the biggest influence in his life as he followed him to the Jets.

Here is what Parcells said about Martin at his induction.  In my opinion, these comments by a tough nosed coach like Bill Parcells are worth its weight in gold. (I must admit that there are tears in my eyes as I type these words)  “He has tremendous compassion for his fellow man.  He is, I think, the poster child for what the NFL is supposed to be.  You come into the league, maximize your abilities, you save your money, you make a smooth transition into society and then you pass all those things on to other people.”   These are the words of one of the greatest coaches in NFL history. 

Here are a few take -aways for me from the story of Curtis Martin.  First, his greatest achievement was accomplished in relationships, not success on the football field. Martin admitted, “love for the game just wasn’t in my heart.”  He was thankful for what his mother taught him, so he found his greatest achievement in relation to his mom.   Remember men all of your life, I mean all of your life, is based on relationships not your personal success.  Don’t ever sacrifice relationships for career.  Curtis Martin didn’t forget that fact.  Focus and attempt to maintain healthy relationship to the best of your ability, especially within your family.   

Secondly, he “played for a purpose bigger than the game.”  His pastor told him he could use football as a platform to do greater things.  So Curtis Martin was able to keep the game and the great success he had in perspective.  What you accomplish in life is meant by God to fulfill his purpose in your life, not what you want to get out of life.  Our success is not about ourselves, but about others.  Never let personal success be your goal.  It can become an idol, that is, will take all your time, talent and resources.  Your career or path in life is meant for a greater purpose then yourself. 

Thirdly, coach Parcells referred to passing along to others.  Curtis Martin used the stage of pro football to “pass on”  a perspective on life that could only be accomplished through relationships.  It makes me ask the question, “What am I passing on?”  I am now in my 71 year.  Let me tell you men, that when you get to this age you give more consideration to “who you have been” in the eyes of your family.  What are you passing on as you cultivate relationships with those who are closest to you?  

Finally, I close with words from the aging Apostle Paul as he wrote to his younger associate Timothy. “You take over.  I’m about to die, my life an offering on God’s altar.  This is the only race worth running.  I’ve run hard right to the finish, believed all the way.  All that’s left now is the shouting – God’s applause!  Depend on it, he’s an honest judge.  He’ll do right not only by me, but by everyone eager for his coming.”  ( II Tim 4:6-8 – The Message) Paul’s audience was God.  He run and finished as best he could, because it was not about himself, but rather about God’s purpose for his life.  He saw his life as “an offering on God’s altar.