Category: Wildman Journey (Page 42 of 86)

Whatever happened to the ” War on Christmas?”  It was only a few years ago, when Christians were  insisting that we put “Christ” back into Christmas.  What happened to  the carols being sung during the holidays,  the manger scenes in  public places, and all the Christmas programs in the public schools?  It seems that Santa Claus himself might disappear in the next couple of years. A recent Pew study found that 52% of respondents said it did not matter  what kind of holiday greeting was used by people or businesses, and only 32% said they prefer to be greeted with “Merry Christmas.”

There is no better example of how our culture is losing the memory of the Christian story in the public consciousness, then the loss of “Merry Christmas.”  Earlier this month, President Trump declared in a speech, “Remember I said we’re bringing Christmas back?  Christmas is back, bigger and better than ever before….We’re bringing Christmas back and we say it now with pride…… Merry Christmas to everybody.”  He has often said, “we will by saying Merry Christmas again.”  But I am afraid the memory of a Merry Christmas is fast fading from our public consciousness, to the delight of the secularists.

The New York Times reported  The Pew study, “found that while a vast majority of Americans still celebrate Christmas, most find the religious elements of the holiday are emphasized less than in the past – and few of them care about that change.”  56% of Americans believe that the religious elements of Christmas are emphasized less now than they were in the past, but only 32% say that development bother then either “a lot” or “some.”  Today  55% of Americans say they celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday, including 46% who see it as more of a religious holiday than a culture holiday and 9% who celebrate Christmas as both a religious and cultural occasion.

Speaking to church leaders, Marc Pugliese, a Christian educator, observed “…..Christmas is being watered down by everything that’s happening in the culture…..If they (church leaders) want their people to know what Christmas is about, then they are going to have to teach them that and find ways for parents to teach that to their children.”

When the narrative of Scripture fades from our cultural memory, it becomes the responsibility of the family and the church to tell the story.  The lose of Christmas is a  “wake up” call to Christian fathers. The leaders of the Reformation saw the need of people regaining a biblical view of life.  They wrote catechisms as instruction aids for the home.  Luther believed that the home was the best place for such instruction and therefore urged parents to catechize their children. Later this practice became known as instituting a ” Home Altar.”

I want to be an encouragement to young fathers reading this blog.  If you have not established a regular pattern of family devotions in your family, do so for the sake of your children.  Your witness and concern for their “soul life” will speak volumes, since no one else watches out for their souls.

God reminded the people of Israel of the need to keep the memory of the Exodus alive in the hearts of their children. “When you enter the land which God will give you as he promised keep doing this.  And when your children say to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’  tell then: “It’s the Passover sacrifice to God who passed over the homes of the Israelites in Egypt when he hit Egypt with death but rescued us” (Ex. 12:25-27  – Message).  When your kids ask about Christmas, tell them the true story.

I am preaching this Advent Season.  I have been reflecting on Jesus coming as the  “Light of the World.”  I am  visualizing the Light of Jesus as an Inner Light, that is, his  presence in our hearts. My contention is that the darkness is increasing.  In order to flourish, it will be imperative  to know that the light within is greater than the outer darkness.  John reminds us, “…the one who is in you is greater then the one who is in the world” ( I John 4:4).

Reality from a Biblical perspective can be divided into light and darkness.  The first verses of Genesis portrays the earth as, “formless and empty, [while] darkness covered the surface of the watery depths.” Creation was in chaos, with no order or meaning.  But, “the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.”  Hovering, “suggests that the Spirit of God was watching over his creation just as a bird watches over its young” (CSB study Bible).  Into this chaos God spoke, “‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.  God saw that the light was good.”  The light brings order to both inner and outer chaos.

The life that Jesus  offers us  is light that could overcome the darkness. “What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by.  The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness, the darkness couldn’t put it out’ ( John 1:4-5 – Message).  Jesus promised that he would provide all the light needed.  “I am the world’s Light.  No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness.  I provide plenty of light to live in” ( John 8:12 – Message).

But the “Life-Light” will need to be more than a concept or image in our minds.  We must open our hearts to allow the Light of Jesus’ presence to fill our inner life.  “It started when God said, ‘Light up the darkness!’  and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful” ( II Cor 4:6).  “It is not our movement toward God, but God’s movement to us. It is heaven interrupting our world….the descent of the divine light among human beings not only to shine on, to illuminate, to purify and to warm them, but through grace, to make them also shine with a light of this world” (Han van Balthasar).

I urge the men reading my blog during this Christmas season to take inventory of the inner light of Jesus’ presence.  Only the presence of Jesus will be able to combat the influence of darkness in the days to come. John calls us to take inventory of our life. “If we claim that we experience a shared life with him and continue to stumble around in the dark, we’re obviously lying through our teeth – we’re not living what we claim.  But if we walk in the light, God himself being the light, we also experience a shared life with one another, as the scarified blood of Jesus, God’s Son, purges all our sin” (I John 1:6-7 – Message).

Don’t allow yourself to be “addicted to denial and illusion,” caught in the shadows, but live in  “truth and reality.”  “God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness.  They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God.  Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won’t come near it, fearing a painful exposure.  But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is” (John 3:19-21 – Message).

I am old enough to remember the concept of “defining deviancy down” made popular by former New York senator, Daniel Patrick Moynihan.  “There is always a certain amount of deviancy in a society.  But when you get too much, you begin to think that it’s not really that bad.  Pretty soon you become accustomed to very destructive behavior.” Our recent national conversion regarding  sexual harassment has shown a disturbing deviancy down regarding our sexual ethics and behavior.

It has only been a short time  since the New York Times ran its initial report on Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein’s sexual predation.  Rich Lowery of the National Review noted, “It’s difficult to think of any piece of journalism that has wrought such an instant change in American life.”  He points out how the model works. “Men with a certain prestige would make gross, aggressive, or even coercive advances on lower-status women, usually young and making their starts in their careers.  The men probably considered it a percentage play.  Sometimes, their advances might work for their purposes.  If not, they assumed that the women would stay silent out of embarrassment or fear.  Failing that, the women could be discredited or bought off.”

I personally am not surprised. Theologian Carl Trueman maintains that we have been scammed. “The notion that sex can be pursued as recreation, isolated from a larger relational and moral context, is an obvious scam.  But we keep getting mugged by reality.”  Men remember this: “Your philosophy will always dictate your morality.”  When we leave biblical morality out of our worldview, the results can easily lead sexual harassment — being mugged by reality.

Scripture warns us about falling victim to lust.  “God’s plan is to make you holy and that means a clean cut with sexual immorality.  Every one of you should learn to control his body, keeping it pure and treating it with respect, and not allowing it to fall victim to lust, as do pagans with no knowledge of God” (I Thess. 4: 3-5 – Phillips).  It was a struggle for the early church to maintain sexual purity.  The Pagan religions often included sexual orgies as part of their rites of worship, and temple prostitutes were dedicated to various gods.  In contrast, the early church taught that the body is God’s temple.

Christina Hoff Sommers wonders if  we might not be  experiencing “the Great Sex Panic of 2017.”  But she pleads, “Let’s not squander this moment.  Women and men of good will have a profound opportunity to speak honestly and work together to begin to write the next chapter in the quest for equality and dignity.”  For the wild men reading this blog, who desire to live with moral purity, exemplified by sexual integrity, this is a time for  a “spiritual morality check” of our lives, remembering that moral impurity begins in the heart.  “But don’t think you’ve preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed.  Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than you body.  Those leering looks you think nobody notices – they also corrupt” (Matt. 6:28- Message).

Men, my constant struggle is to surrender my thought life, with its sexual fantasies to the Lord.  Moral purity begins in the heart, not with outward boundaries.  I pray always to be a “one-woman” man.  If you struggle with your thought life, surrender to the loving gaze of Jesus.  His gaze will prompt you to desire greater purity to your heart.  Don’t try to fool yourself into believing that you can maintain the kind of sexual purity expected of a man of God in our sensual culture simply by effort and resolve.  We all will need continual soul cleansing.

With all the attention on sexual harassment in the media, columnist Christine Emba wrote an opinion in the Washington Post entitled, “Let’s Rethink Sex.”  She asks, “If we get so worked up about sexual harassment and assault, what will happen to sex?’  That is, indeed, the sad question being asked by many women today.

Emba wonders what we should do.  “It’s unlikely that we’ll return to a society in which sexual encounters outside of marriage are disallowed or even discouraged – that sex train has already left the fornication station…….But now could be the time to reintroduce virtues such as prudence, temperance, respect, and even love.  We might pursue the theory that sex possibly has a deeper significance then just recreation and that ‘consent’ – that thin and gameable boundary – might not be the only moral sensibility we need respect.”

Embra closes with this note of hope. “If you are a decent person, the prospect of a clearer, more boundaried sexual ethic should not frighten you.  If not, have you considered that you might be part of the problem?”

I want to respond to Ms. Emba in a very personal way.  I imagine myself sitting with her, along with my bride of 52 years, telling my story.  I picture her as a confused and uncertain about her personal and professional relationship in “the sexual wastelands” of modern society.  What was started as a sexual revolution with all its freedom in the 60’s is how coming to haunt us in our relationship as male and female.  Is there a way out of this sexual waste land?  Yes!  But in my opinion it needs to be radical, in the sense that culture once again turns to the Creator of sex and his blueprint.

So I would not argue with Ms. Emba nor demean her for her views.  Rather I would share the following.

First, sex is a wonderful gift of a loving Heavenly Father.  It is to be celebrated and enjoyed by man and woman.  “When Adam saw Eve he said, ‘Finally, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh!  Name her Woman for she was made from man.’  Therefore, a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife.  They become one flesh.  The two of them, the man and his wife, were naked, but they felt no shame” (Gen 2:23-25 – Message).  Judy and I stand naked and unashamed before God.

Secondly,  the “one flesh” relationship is intended for only a man and his wife. “There’s more to sex then mere skin on skin.  Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact.  As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one'”  ( I Cor. 6:16 -Message).  We have given ourselves away only once.

Thirdly, it is prayer that keeps the union and flame alive.  We pray together each day, humbling ourselves before one another and the Lord.

Fourthly, my wife and I cry out for God’s mercy daily to keep our marriage alive.  This means that we humbly attempt to put the other first, asking God for grace to meet each other needs as male and female.

Fifthly, as a man I struggle with my own sexual temptations.  But I have vowed that I will always be a “one-woman-man” in private and public.

Sixthly, our prayer is that our marriage might be a witness as to how God intended a man and woman to live together in union with one another and God

Finally, I want to say to you, Ms. Emba, I am eternally grateful to God for my partnership with my bride.  It has been God’s greatest gift to me, other than God rescuing me from my sins and giving me eternal life.

I am still cleaning up after the huge wind storm from the summer of ’16,  which took down many big trees on our property.  This fall I have already burned 24 “brush piles.”  So I have spent a lot of time with fire.  While tending to fires, I’ve had a lot of time to think, pray, and simply watch what fire does to those big plies of wood.  John of the Cross’s image of God’s fire consuming wood has continually challenged me to walk in purity before the Lord.  Wood consumed by fire becomes fire. It is transformed.

I thought about God being “a consuming fire” and having that fire in my heart.  Remember John, the Baptist said of Jesus, “He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire” (Luke 3: 16).  Later Jesus warned, “I’ve come to start a fire on this earth” (Luke 12:49 -Message).  When the Spirit was given on Pentecost, those present, “saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them” (Acts 2:4).  I Cor. 3:13 indicates that our life style will be tested by fire. “It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work.” Paul warns, “Do not put out the Spirit’s fire”( I Thess 5:19).

In the Old Testament fire on the altar was never to go out.  “The fire on the altar must be kept burning; it must not go out.  Every morning the priest is to add firewood and arrange the burnt offering on the fire…” (Lev. 6:12).   There was to be no “strange” or “unauthorized” fire on altar, that is, fire not authorized by God.  Numbers 10:1 tells of Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu taking their censers, putting fire in them, adding incense, and them offering unauthorized fire before the Lord.  As a result, “fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord” (Numbers 10:2).

It is tempting for me to try and make myself alive spiritually with unauthorized fire. I call it “cranking it up.”  But I can’t  keep the flame burning. It is kindled by the Holy Spirit from within.  My part is in yielding to the movement of the Spirit in my heart.  I need to be aware when I am trying to lite my own fire.  It will always be” unauthorized.”  We read in Isaiah 50:19-20 ( Message), “For anyone out there who doesn’t know where you’re going, anyone groping in the dark, here’s what: Trust in God…….But if all you’re after is making trouble, playing with fire, go ahead and see where it gets you. Set your fires, stir people up, blow on the flames.  But don’t expect me to just stand there and watch.  I’ll hold your feet to those flames.”  I have often blown on the flames only to get burned.

When I sit, tending the fire so all the wood will be properly burned, I still need to respect how the fire will burn.  I remember  God is a “consuming fire” in my life.  Because of his great love,  my heavenly Father desires to burn the religious junk out of my life.   My perspective of the burning will be much different then that of my Father.  Being aware of his love and mercy for me, should make me thankful for the burning.  “An do you see how thankful we must be?  Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God.  For God is not an indifferent bystander.  He’s actively cleaning house, torching all that needs to burn, and he won’t quit until it’s all cleansed.  God himself is Fire! (Heb 12:28-29 – Message).

As a fairly well integrated elderly male, I disagree with comments made by  former First Lady, Michelle Obama at a recent conference in Chicago. She wondered publicly whether society may be protecting men to believe they  are “entitled” and “self-righteous.”  The focus, in her opinion, has been  on raising strong girls and protecting boys. “The problem in this world today,” observed Ms. Obama, “is we love our boys and we raise our girls…..We raise them [girls]  to be strong and sometimes we take care not to hurt men…..We nurture men and push girls to be perfect.”

I  have  a different perspective on how men and boys are being raised in our culture.  I do agree there should be a concerted emphasis on raising strong girls, encouraging  them to secede.  But to say, on the other hand, that men and boys are being protected, so as not to hurt them is simply not true.  The current cultural mandate, as expressed by third wave feminism is certainly not to “nurture” men, while loving our boys.  I don’t think many men, especially younger men, feel entitled or self-righteous.  Rather men are confused, feel threatened, and insecure.  They need other godly men, not feminist to help them “man up.”

My argument with Ms. Obama would be, why not strive for both strong men and strong women.  That would be the implications of Galatians 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”  God never intended one to be more superior then the other.  Rather, together as male and female, we are to reflect the likeness of God. “When God created human beings, he made them to be like himself.  He created them male and female, and he blessed them and called them human” (Genesis 5:1-2).

There was one piece of advise Ms. Obama gave in her remarks, however, in which I agree.  She implied that men need to be more relational.   “Men,” she observed, “need a support network of friends” to be able to talk with each other.  In a rather sarcastic tone she said, “Talk about why Y’ll are the way you are.”  I totally agree.  I have said this often in my blogs.  Men need to get together, tell their stories, listen to each other pain, and cry out to God for help in the healing of their masculine  souls. And yes, I agree that men need to repent of any sense of “entitlement” or “self-righteousness.” Through a secure masculine soul, men need to be able to narrative their story as both servants and warriors in our confused culture.

I refuse to except the idea that men need to be protected or nurtured  by strong women.  Together men need to rise up and take their rightful place in God’s order of creation. I read recently a quote from John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath,”  about  men not breaking.  “Men stood by their fences and looked at the ruined corn, drying fast now, only a little green showing through the film of dust.  The men were silent and they did not move often.  And the women came out of the house to stand beside their men – to feel whether this time the men would break….After a while the faces of the watching men lost their bemused perplexity and became hard and angry and resistant.  Then the women knew that they were safe and that there was no break…Women and children know deep in themselves that no misfortune was too great to bear if their men were whole.”

Lord strengthen the souls of men reading this blog, so that they will not break in the coming days.

In a recent article in Harper’s Bazaar entitled, “Women Aren’t Nags – We’re just Fed up,” Gemma Hartley, talks about the disappointment of her husband not doing enough of the emotional labor in their marriage  –  all of the behind-the-scenes planning and thoughtfulness that goes into a life run smoothly.  Hartley and many others feel women bear a uneven and unfair amount of this work. Men are often thought of as clueless husbands and fathers who can’t do anything right.

These images of men are often depicted in commercial advertising.  There is a name of it: “Femvertising.”  “The ‘man as a dope’ imagery has gathered momentum over the last decade, and critics say that it has spiraled out of control.  It is nearly impossible, they say, to watch commercials or read ads without seeing helpless, hapless men.”  This was written in 2007.  The trend continues in our day.

Hartley admitted in the article that she did not “want to micromanage housework.  I want a partner with equal initiative.”  When I read this article, I could not help but think of the countless sessions I’ve spent with young couples getting married.  I usually had a time when I asked if they knew the emotional needs of the other and how to meet those needs. Most of the time they had no clue as what this meant.  In this blog I want to focus on the husband’s meeting the emotional needs of his wife.  In nearly every session, when I helped a man to  understand what the basic emotional needs of his soon to be wife were, the woman would always agree.

That need is stated simply: “to be number #1 in the husband’s life.”  This means that the husband thinks of  his bride as the  most wonderful woman on the face of the earth.  He tell  her often in many creative ways, demonstrating this sentiment by the way he treated her.  Her security is  knowing that she comes before anything else in her future husband life except the Lord.  I would remind the young man that he will  have to demonstrate this in thought, word and deed.  This meant that his ego needs would have to be surrendered before those of his wife.  Ephesians 5:22-ff makes this abundantly clear.

Men, after 52 years of marriage, along  with years in pastoring couples, I am absolutely convinced that the emotional needs of a man and woman in the marriage dance are different.  Learning the emotional steps of the marriage dance is paramount. My task has been to put Judy first on my priority list, demonstrate that truth in word, deed, and emotional involvement, dying  to my rights and desires, and willing to be a  servant to Judy  as my help mate.  I can testify that it will take care of most of “the emotional load” issues.  In other words, I am to take the initiative in meeting the emotional needs of my wife.  Most often the wife will respond in kind.

This simple principle making my wife number #1 is easy to define, but very difficult to live out in the tugs and pulls of marriage.  For me it has meant continues repentance of my improper behavior and attitude.  I have to set the emotional tone for our marriage dance.  The Message in Ephesians 5:25 gets right to the point. “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving and not getting.” If a husband is willing to follow this advise from the Apostle Paul, a lot of the struggles relating to carrying the emotional load would be resolved.

Helen Smith in her book, “Men on Strike” writes  about “Uncle Tims.”  “An Uncle Tim is a male sellout who kowtows to feminists because he’s (a) just as left-wing as they are and thus agrees with the feminist worldview, or (b) too weak to stand up for himself and know that if he says anything he’s not suppose to, he won’t  get sex.”  Suzanne Venker comments Uncle Tims,  “are often the ones who lose in the end because all too often feminist wives regret their choice to make their marriage androgynous – and the men who give up their manhood, because they thought that’s what women and society wanted – are left in the dust.”  In other words, a feminized man.

An Uncle Tim in Britain, (artist Grayson Perry) put it this way, “I sometimes watch the evening news on television and think  all of the world’s problems can be boiled down to one thing: the behavior of people with a Y chromosome….The consequences of rogue masculinity are, I think, one of the biggest issues, if not the biggest issues, facing the world today.”  He advocates “resistance” in combating toxic masculinity. “Resistance needs to be woven into every moment, every thought, observation, and act.”  Mr. Perry finds himself questioning everything about his masculinity.  This is the sorry life of an Uncle Tim, having become feminized.

In an OpEd in the NY Times Richard Reeves and Isabel Sawhill made this amazing statement. “The old economy and the old model of masculinity are obsolete.  Women have learned to become more like men.  Now men need to learn to become more like women…cramped gender roles are bad for women.  It is becoming obvious that now they are hurting men, too.” The implication is that men should become feminized.  Uncle Tims will end up losing their masculine soul,  not being able to meet the emotional  needs of the women in their lives since they are now feminized.

I predict that there will be greater confusion regarding gender and the relationship between male and female.  As I have said often in my blogs, the key to bringing some sense of clarity to the roles of the male is for men to take the initiative in finding restoration for their masculine soul.  It means reaching back to the orders of creation, being made male and female in the image of God. Only then can men learn to relate compassionately to the feminine in our culture today.

This initiative will include the following essential elements.  First, and foremost men need to  find security and affirmation in their God-given masculine soul.  The masculine can not be swept away like some left over remnant of an oppressive past.  We need to reclaim our masculine soul for ourselves not embracing the distorted feminine perception.

Secondly, admit our failure to meet the needs of women.  Acknowledge how we have failed.  Men secure in their masculinity will not be defensive when faced with the anger of the feminine.  They are in the business of resurrecting the true masculine, while renouncing the distorted masculine of the past.

Thirdly, work at being sensitive and caring, but doing so from the healed masculine soul.  An authentic  male voice and spirit, not an feminized male voice is desperately need in our day.

Fourthly, this initiative needs to be  expressed with humility, brokenness, and forbearance due to the pain and brokenness women have experience from other men.  Sincere, open-hearted males can by their presence bring healing to wounded, closed-hearted women.

Fifthly, ask God for wisdom in knowing how to navigate the gender roles in your sphere of influence.  It will not be easy.  But it is our time to arise and shine for the  Lord.

These are the words of Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy, who recently passed away.  Eleven years ago, on Hefner’s 80th birthday, Charles Colson observed,  “Hugh Hefner did more than anyone else to turn America into a great pornographic wasteland.”  I remember as a young man in the 60’s having to deal with the erotic  mystic of Playboy magazines.  I can still visualize some of my struggles with the lure of the playboy center folds.

Camille Paglia, my favorite feminist,  maintains that magazines like Playboy represented “the brute reality of sexuality.” It is the unregenerate erotic urge found in  the male soul.   “Pornography,” says Paglia, “… is not a sexist twisting of the facts of life but a kind of peephole into the roiling, primitive animal energies that are at the heart of sexual attraction and desire.”  As a Christian man, with a biblical view of sex, I view this as a distortion of  sex as God’s good gift.  “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good” (Gen. 1:31). Hefner said that he started Playboy as, “a personal response to the hurt and hypocrisy of our puritan heritage.” In rebellion against repression he advocated indulgence. Isn’t it possible for God’s love (agape) to redeem the erotic impulse?

Remember after the creation of man and women, Genesis 2:25 says, “The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame.”  It has taken me many years to come to peace witht the erotic energy of sex in my soul.  I felt it was like a fire inside my soul that had to either denied and avoided.  But I have learned that the answer is to redeem the energy of eros with the love of God (agape).  Eros is natural but it needs to be redeemed.  This can only happen if we acknowledge and embrace eros.

In those playboy pictures you could  feel “the intense sizzle of sexual polarization.”  Paglia calls it, ” that long-ago time when men were men and women were women.”  The erotic energy of the masculine, colliding with Playboy porn was explosive.  But Playboy is no more.   How is the Christian masculine soul dealing with  erotic energy today.  Pagila believes our gender-blending age as taken the sizzle out of sex.  The more the sexes have blended, the less each sex is interested in the other.  We live in a period of  complaint and dissatisfaction, resulting in sexual confusion and rancor regarding the genders.  Sexual energy has gone underground.  Rather then learning to embrace and integrate eros, today we are more confused then ever about sexuality.

Today Paglia sees, “men turning from women and simply being content with the world of fantasy because women have become too thin-skinned, resentful and high-maintenance.”  Could it be that men have abandoned sexual polarization, for the personal fantasy world of internet porn?  Ross Duothat believes, “Our era is less overtly sexually destructive in part because we are giving up on sex itself, retreating into pornography and other virtual consolations.”  There is less personal risk of failure in relationship to the feminine, if a man hides in the shadows of internet porn.

Paul exhorts us in I Thess 3-4, “Keep yourselves from sexual promiscuity.  Learn to appreciate and give dignity to your body, not abusing it, as is so common among those who know nothing of God.”  I know that this blog is read by many younger men.  My testimony is this.  I wish I would have come to peace with the erotic in my own soul years ago, learning to live with it in the “open spaces” of God’s light and grace.  I would have been a more healthy, passionate man both in marriage and life.

Recently actress Alyssa Milano used  twitter  to encourage women who’d been sexually harassed or assaulted to tweet “MeToo.”  She twitted, “If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted write ‘me too’ as a reply to this tweet.”  #MeToo has not only mushroomed on Twitter but it has flooded Facebook as well.  Milano was responding to a friend’s suggestion: “If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”

This suggestion comes in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal in Hollywood, exposing decades of harassment and multiple allegations of rape aimed at the big-name producer.  Popular Christian author Beth Moore tweeted, “A well meaning mentor told me at 25 that people couldn’t handle hearing about sexual abuse and it would sink my ministry.  It didn’t.  #MeToo.”  Moore decided to expand on the hashtag by suggesting how victims can get help.  “WeToo have a voice.  For all the times we were bullied into silence, we get to speak up and call wrong Wrong. #WeToo for fewer future,” she wrote.

#MeToo is,” as Sophie Gilbert wrote in The Atlantic, “simply an attempt to get people to understand the prevalence of sexual harassment and assault in society.”  It gives women and men as well, the opportunity to raise their voice in protest to sexual harassment and assault.

We read in Hebrews 13:3-4 from the Message: “Look on victims of abuse as if what happened to them happened to you.  Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband.  God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”  Men let’s commit to moral purity and sexual integrity, aware of the vulnerability of women, while combating  the plague of sexual violence.

Our witness is greatly needed in this sexually confused and hurting society.  I agree with the challenge of David French, “Now is the time for Christians to leave their defensive crouch, to approach the public square with confidence.  A wounded and broken sexual culture searches for answers.  Who are we to withhold the truth?”

Our nation has lost it moral compass. Improper sexual behavior is only going to increase. More women will become victims of male predators.  “They’ve refused for so long to deal with God that they’ve lost touch, not only with God but with reality itself.  They can’t think straight anymore.  Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion” (Eph. 4:18-19 – Message).  This describe men who are like wolves in sheep’s clothing, intent on satisfying their unrighteous passions.

Men, I ask you to pledge with me to be a virtuous man when it comes to your public demeanor towards women.  Join me in 1) Giving thanks to God for the wonderful gift of sex, along with the guidance given to us in Scripture,  2) Being accountable to your wife for your moral purity and sexual integrity,  3) Purpose in your heart never to objectify other women in your life,  4) Ask God to build a wall of fire around you, so that other women know you are off-limits,  5) purpose to not flirt or countenance another women in an unrighteous manner,  6) ask for grace to avoid online porn, and 7) cry out to God for strength to remain pure and virtuous.

Remember Paul’s warning, “Since we want to become spiritually one with the master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever” (I Cor 6:18 – Message).  Commit to being a “one-women man.”  Pray daily with your wife concerning the intimacy of your marriage. This includes body, soul and spirit.