Category: Wildman Journey (Page 40 of 85)

I preached recently for my pastor, using the story of the Prodigal Son ( Luke 15:11-31) as my text.  There are three main characters: the younger son, the elder son and the father.  We usually remember the younger son going away, coming to his senses and the returning to his father.  What about the elder son and the father?  I can now see myself in both the sons.

It is easy to see the outward reality of leaving and returning home.  But there is a deeper inner reality that can be overlooked. Henri Nouwen helps us with his insight.  “Leaving home is….much more than an historical event bound to time and place. It is a denial of the spiritual reality that I belong to God with every part of my being……..Leaving home is living as though I do not yet have a home and must look far and wide to find one…..Home is the center of my being where I can hear the voice that says: ‘You are my beloved, on you my favor rests.'”

Only in these latter years have I come to see the story through more enlightened  spiritual eyes.  At the heart of the story is the unconditional love of the Father.  In my estimation, not until a man experiences the awareness of God’s gracious love, will he come  home to his center where he is one in spirit with the Lord.  “The whole purpose of Jesus’ ministry,” notes Nouwen, ” is to bring us to the house of his father.”  Could it be that the greater sin for both the younger and older son is the rejection and disregard for the unconditional love of the father.

I image the father at home, grieving because his two sons could neither comprehend nor embrace his love, thus not being at home in his embrace.  When a man opens his inner life to the unconditional love of God, which is beyond  comprehension, he comes to experience with certainty being a  beloved son of  his heavenly father. Like both the sons I have lived outside the father’s embrace.  I thank God for coming  to rest in my heavenly Father’s love.

I can still wander like the younger son into the far country, drawn by my desires, attachments and compulsions, there to be influenced by voices that cause me to doubt my identity.  I become conflicted, living with my contradictions.  But the voice of unconditional love calls me home. What brings me back is the full acceptance of being the beloved of God.  I have the freedom of choice.  The father waits for me to come home.  There is no condemnation when I am in Christ Jesus.  In my coming and going I am  amazed that God loves me in my shame and vulnerability.

It is harder to see the rebellion of the elder son.  He was lost in his father’s house. He lived a dutiful life.  He was a hard working, obedient older son. But the celebration for his younger brother brought to the surface anger than had turned into resentment.  He “stalked off in an angry sulk” (v 28 – Message).  He showed little gratitude nor did he care for the welfare of his brother, who was thought to be dead.  “Look how many years I’ve stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief…… Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast! (15:29-30 -Message).  He had a servant mentality, still trying to prove his worth.  God saves me from “performance orientation” and a judgmental attitude.

Have you heard of Jordan Peterson?  Until a few months ago I was clueless regarding Canadian psychologist at the University of Toronto.  But since 2016, millions have watched his collection of You Tube lectures. 80% are young men between 20-34. And when he speaks in public, the great majority of his audiences are made up of men.  Peterson himself was surprised at first. He soon realized he was speaking to deep concerns among younger men.  David Brooks observed, “…He delivers stern, fatherly lectures to young men on how to be honorable, upright and self-disciplined – how to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives… Parents, universities, and the elders of society have utterly failed to give many young men realistic and demanding practical wisdom on how to live. Peterson has filled the gap.”

I realize that Peterson is not a Christian. He has been deeply influenced by Jungian psychology. His language can be pretty salty at times.  And he sees the Bible as more myth than the Word of God.  So, taking in Peterson’s thoughts or observations is a little like eating fish.  You have to take the meat and spit out the bones. Nonetheless, I am very interested in Peterson, because of the response he has gotten from young men. 

David French has noted, “Jordan Peterson’s popularity is a sign of the longing for understanding a distinctive male purpose and male way of living that is true to biology and psychology.”  I agree with Dr. John Mark Reynolds, who puts it bluntly, “He [Peterson] is what young men need and the church is not giving: straight talk that is smart.”  All truth is God’s truth, wherever it might be found. And as followers of Christ, “We can do nothing against the truth, but only for the truth” (II Cor. 13:8).  Some want to disregard Peterson because he is not a biblical believer. As a follower of Christ, however, my burden is to help men in their spiritual journey. Could Peterson’s message help me relate more effectively to men?  Below are a few of the themes in Peterson’s messages that make me think that it can:

First, be responsible. Responsibility is not a legalistic rod to beat men down, but rather an invitation to be honorable and self-disciplined.  Peterson talks about carrying our burden. “Pick up the heaviest thing you can find and carry it.”  He finds that men hunger for such a challenge. Being responsible is a manly attribute, not a source of crushing shame.

Second, find meaning and purpose.  Peterson believes people have a hunger for principles and direction.  Don’t buy into postmodern relativism and pessimism. Young men can make a difference.  But they need to accept the burden of being responsible in order to move toward what is meaningful.

Third, carry a good dose of realism. Tim Lott says of Peterson’s worldview, “Life is tragic.” You are tiny and flawed and ignorant and weak and everything else is huge complex and overwhelming.”  Yes, life is hard.  Learn to lean into pain.

Fourth, free yourself from the grip of groupthink. “At some level Peterson is offering assertiveness training,” notes Brooks, “to men whom society is trying to turn into emasculated snowflakes.”

Fifth, remember that gender matters.  Boys and young men need guidance and reassurance of their maleness.  For this Peterson gets his most vocal feedback.  Peterson maintains, “Boys’ interests tilt toward things,” while “girls’ interests tilt toward people.” “Men and women won’t sort themselves into the same categories, if you leave them alone. These interests are strongly influenced by biological factors.”  Because of this, Peterson believes boys are suffering in the modern world.

It can be disconcerting to live in spiritual darkness with the ‘lights out.” We want to know, understand and be aware of God’s presence.  For many years I never understood the reality of “the dark night of the soul.”   We read in Psalm 139:11-12, “I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night – but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.  To you the night shines as bright as day.  Darkness and light are the same to you. (NLT)” While I might be in darkness it can be light to  the Lord.  In Psalm 112:4 we are told, “Even in the darkness light dawns for the upright.”

Michael W. Smith in his new CD has a song entitled, “Light to You.”  It has ministered to my heart.  Part of the chorus goes like this, “Even the darkness is light to You.  It’s hard to believe it but You say it’s true.  Even the darkness is light to You.” Also included are the words, “If I made my  bed in the depths/if I rise on the wings of the morning/ to the farthest horizon/You’re there/You’ll find me.”  Not very often do I hear a contemporary worship song that has such a rich contemplative expression.

By contemplative I mean coming to know and experience God beyond our thoughts, images and feelings, that is, when the lights go out.  This is a  time of letting go of the familiar ways of knowing Lord  as our understanding is darkened.  This can be a disorientating learning to trust the Lord in the darkness.  Gerald May, a spiritual guide who has helped me greatly has observed, “The dark night of the soul is not an event on passing through and gets beyond, but rather a deep ongoing process that characterizes our spiritual life.  In this sense, the dark night is a person’s hidden life in God.”

Men, years ago I read a prediction by a well know theologian, who believed that the Christian of the future would be a mystic. I believe this is coming true.  The prophet Amos prophesied, “The days are coming,” declares the Sovereign Lord, “when I will send a famine through the land – not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the Lord.” (Amos 8:11).  The mystic or contemplative is one who has learned to trust God, while being lead into the darkness.  We don’t need to understand or be in control.  In deepening our relationship with the Lord, we are being prepared for the famine of the Word that will plunge our culture into darkness.

William Johnston notes that in the darkness, the soul exclaims, “God was present all the time and I did not recognize Him.  I thought it was darkness but it was light.  I thought it was nothing but it was all.”  Just as too much light from the sun blinds the human eye, so the excessive light of God’s presence can cause us to be in darkness.

Here is some advice from someone who has learned to walk in the darkness for 30 years.

First, if you desire to have a deeper relationship with the Lord, you will be lead into the darkness.

Secondly, don’t fight the darkness, by trying  to comprehend what is taking place in your soul

Thirdly, learn to keep your inner gaze upon the Lord.  Use a simply word or phrase repeatedly to keep your attention on the Lord

Fourthly, learn to trust the darkness, God is doing work beyond our comprehension

Fifthly,  come alongside fellow pilgrims, encouraging them on their journey as they experience “lights out.”

I came to faith in Jesus, as a young man of 18, in 1960, at a Lutheran Bible School In Los Angles.  The Scripture used to help me simply surrender my life to Jesus was Isaiah 53:6, “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the inequity of us all.”  I saw that my sins had been placed on Jesus.  I confessed, opened my heart and surrendered to him.

Since that day I vowed to live my life for Jesus, no matter the consequences.  In those early day, I “hung unto Jesus” during adversity both from without from within.  Billy Graham was reaching the high of his popularity.  His simply, yet powerfully appealing message of “Jesus as the way.” was a beacon for me as I found my way, having been called to  become a Lutheran pastor.  I went to Fuller Seminary, which Graham helped found,  in the Fall of 1966.  It was rare for a Lutheran to be at Fuller in those days.  But I absorbed what I believed was good “evangelical thought.”  I have never changed my perspective.

I personally owe Billy Graham a great deal for being the leading voice of the evangelical movement that was just coming into the main stream of American life when I was a young man.  He helped shape a religious culture and expression in which I found a home, allowing me to be a “Jesus Follower,” who believed that the Bible was the final authority on matter of faith and practice.

I wept when I read about Billy Graham’s death.  I realized in that moment that I had been privileged to live in an era when “The Evangelical Movement” was shaping our culture and had a voice in the public square.  Sadly this is no longer the case.  But I give testimony to  the fact, that my worldview has not changed.  This is why I continue to write this blog.  I want men to know that Jesus and his death on cross is the answer to the deepest questions of their lives.

Here are four qualities in Mr. Graham that I have admired for years, challenging  me as a man and Pastor.

First, Billy kept “the Main Thing the main thing.” It was always about Jesus.  I often wept when I heard him preach, watching the people coming forward to receive Jesus.  He was not a eloquent or polished preacher.  No, his passion came through when he would point people to Jesus on the cross.  That was tonic for my struggling and questioning soul as a Lutheran in a church body that has reservation about conversion.

Secondly, his integrity.  I never forgot the story I head from one of Billy’s  associates, I think it was T.W Wilson, who worked with him throughout his whole career.  He said, “Our job is to keep Billy Graham humble.”  I never forgot that story.  I knew as man and  Pastor I would need men around me to be accountable to for my behavior and beliefs.

Thirdly, Billy’s humility.  Don Wilton, who became Billy’s pastor during the last decade of his life, meeting weekly at his home, had this to say about Billy Graham. “Nothing about Mr. Graham, in his demeanor, his touch, his incredible spiritual humility, would in any way cause a feeling of intimidation…Mr. Graham didn’t just say what he said, he lived what he said.”  Mr. Graham always gave the glory to God.

Fourthly, his open-mindedness.  He was very controversial in wanting his crusades to be integrated, insisted on going to communist countries to preach and was very ecumenical in his outreach.  It helped me to be more broad minded.

Time magazine has named “the Silence Breakers” its persons of the year for 2017, referring to the women who have come forward with harassment charges.  The magazine’s editor in chief, Edward Felsenthal believes the #MeToo movement represents the “fastest-moving social change we’ve seen in decades, and it began with individual acts of courage by women and some men too.”  Tarana Burke, who created the Me Too mantra and the actress Alyssa Milano, who helped promote it are now focused on what was still left to do.

“I’ve been saying from the beginning that it’s not just a moment, it’s a movement….The hashtag is a declaration.  But now we’re poised to really stand up and do the work.”  Ms. Milano adds, “I want companies to take on a code of conduct, I want companies to hire more women, I want to teach our children better….these are all things that we have to set in motion, and as women we have to support each other and stand together and say that’s it, we’re done, no more.”

I am concerned about the mistrust the #MeToo movement can cause between men and women.  Christian men can be on the forefront in bringing healing. “Distrust is becoming like a disease,” wrote one observer, ” infecting our most foundational relationship as a people, the building block of a free, civil society – the relationship between men and women…… Men are seen as ‘the enemy’ an embodied deviance that must be remolded into the image of a woman.  Their sexuality is assumed to be naturally brutal, a threat to be controlled and reduced for the individual man to be considered safe.”

Christian men should, in our day,  rise up in “the spirit and power  of Elijah” similar to John the Baptist.  The angel told John’s father Zechariah, “He will be a man with the spirit and power of Elijah…… He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and he will cause those who are rebellious to accept the wisdom of the godly” (Luke 1:17 NLT).  Once out in the wilderness John said of himself, “I am the voice of one calling in the desert, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord'” (John 1:23).

We live in a sexual wasteland, in which broken relationships bring untold pain. Godly men, in “the spirit and power of Elijah,” can be a voice in the wasteland, calling for healing between men and women.  Men by their presence and attitude can make a way straight in the  sexual wilderness for men and women alike.  Here are a few suggestions.

First, men will live confidently out of their masculine soul.  No apologies needed  for being a man. They will walk comfortably in their affirmed masculine soul.

Second, men will allow their  identity to be shaped and formed by the Spirit of God, Scripture and other godly men, not by a culture that wants to remake men into the image of the  feminine.

Third, men will humbly acknowledge the harm they have caused acting as predators.  They will be sensitive  to the pain and misgivings many women have regarding men.  By being “strong and tender” they will seek to  win the trust of wounded women, while acknowledging some women will refuse acceptance because of  their wounds.

Fourth, men will work alongside hurting women, bringing the much needed healing voice of the masculine.

Fifth, men will  keep close check on their own sexuality.  They will not fear, deny or disregard their sexual passions, but will rather have their desires purified by the Spirit  God

Finally, men will live in forgiveness knowing that they will be rejected and misunderstood for simply being a man.

Are you familiar with the term “liquid modernity.” It helps in discerning the drift of our nation.  The  concept is credited to the late Polish sociologist Zygmunt Baumen, who believed the term, “postmodern” did not accurately describe what was happening in today’s world.  “Liquid modernity” was more accurate in  describing the constant mobility and change in relationships, identities, and global economics in contemporary society.  Instead of referring to modernity and postmodernity, he saw a transition from solid modernity to a more liquid form of social life.

In liquid modernity, Os Guinness points out, “we have moved from the fixed world of tradition and identity to the fluid world of modernity, where everything always changes and nothing keeps it shape for very long.”  We live in a modern liquid world where liquid lives and liquid loves are “protean,” always liable to change.  The  only constant is change.  The  only certainty is uncertainty.  With the loss of spiritual and moral moorings, we experience what  Guinness calls  “the mudslide effect.”

Baumen maintains that we have moved from a period in which we understood ourselves as “pilgrims” in search of deeper meaning to one where we act as “tourists” in search of multiple but fleeing social experiences. Rod Dreher calls it “Nomadism,” because a general trait of the ‘liquid modern’ man is his flowing through life like a tourist, changing places, jobs, spouses, values, and sometimes more – such as political or sexual orientation – excluding himself from traditional networks of support, while also freeing himself from the restrictions or requirments those networks impose.” Are you caught in the mudslide of liquid modernity, drifting like  a confused tourist, rather then a pilgrim, who knows, “here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come” (Heb 13:14).

Guinness ask, “What are the causes for the mudslide?”  He identifies “the three dark Rs,.” which help us discern if we are caught in a mudslide.

First, “a radical relativizing of claims and certainties through which postmodernism reduces all truths to the level of undecidable.”  If you are going to avoid the mudslide, you will have to determine in your mind what is the truth.  Is your view of reality anchored in Scripture.  Psalm 33: 4 proclaims, “For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does,” while verse 9 tells us, “For he spoke and it came to be; he commanded and it stood firm.”  Since my conversion back in 1960, I have submitted my mind to the final authority of Scripture, which reflects “objective reality.”  I don’t want to get caught in the mudslide of relativism.

The second, “a range of choices, producing noncommitment and a “nonbinding preference for the moment.”  I have been fortunate to have men in my life who have modeled total commitment to the Lord.  They have challenged me to do that same.  I intend to finish strong.  I take heart in Paul’s final words to the Elder at Ephesus, “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace” (Acts 20:24).

The third, “an unprecedented rapidity of change which turns modern life into a grand liquidizer of solidities.” Is there a solid firm place for a man to stand? Yes!  Years ago reading Corrie Ten Bloom’s book, “The Hiding Place” I took great comfort in Ps 32:7, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”  In Ps 91:1 the palmist describes being able to “rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”

Recently Google has had a hard time identifying Jesus.  Google’s popular virtual assistant  identified Allah and Buddha but not Jesus.   “Google, who is Allah?” one Google user asked on a now-viral Facebook video.  “According to Wikipedia, in Islamic theology God is the all-powerful, all knowing creator, sustainer, ordainer and judge of everything in existence,” the virtual assistant replied. But when she asked Google who Jesus Christ was, the devise replied, “Sorry, I don’t know how to help with that yet.”  And when she asked who Jesus was, the device responded, “Sorry, I’m not sure how to help.”

“The reason the Google Assistant didn’t respond with information about ‘Who is Jesus’ or ‘Who is Jesus Christ’ wasn’t out of disrespect but instead to ensure respect,” Google said in a statement.  Google  also said that content from certain topics can be vulnerable to vandalism and spam.  “We’re exploring different solutions and temporarily disabling these responses for religious figures on the Assistant” Google said.  I wonder if Jesus is a threat to Google?

Imagine a sophisticated tech company such as Google not having information on the most significant person in human history, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, who came and lived among us. We read in Hebrews 1:3, “The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.”  Paul tells us, “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation…..For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him” (Col 1:15 & 19).

How could Google be so ill informed about Jesus.  For almost 2000 years it has been the settled conviction and belief of millions of followers that  Jesus Christ, was indeed God in the flesh.  You might not like this idea, you might not want to have  Jesus influencing millions of devout followers, and you might even not like Christians.  But to say we can’t help, can only mean one thing: “We want to get rid of Jesus and his influence.”

This is a striking  example of what has happened so quickly in our culture.  The public square is now influenced by strong voices in the dominant media who want to erase the influence of Jesus Christ from the affairs of our nation.  Men, be warned.  Don’t let yourself be like the frog who was in the pot with the fire burning underneath, slowly bringing it to a boil.  The frog didn’t realize the great danger he was in, until it was to late.

Maybe Google has fixed this glitch in its “Google Home” smart speakers.  Personally,  I don’t buy the idea that this was an issue of respect.  To ignore the influence of Jesus, while acknowledging Allah, is certainly showing disrespect to millions of very devout followers of Jesus all over the world.  When I read of this incident, I thought of Paul’s warning to young Timothy, “The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and thing taught by demons” (I Tim 4:1)  Later  he describes the times in even more detail, “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves…..rather than lovers of God – having a form of godliness but denying its power.  Have nothing to do with them” ( II Tim. 3:1 & 4-5).

Remember men, “The one enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord scoff at them”  (Ps 2:4)  Who?  “The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the Lord and against his Anointed One” (Ps 2:4).  God says of Jesus, “I have installed my King on Zion, my holy hill” (Ps 2:6). God will have the last laugh, not google.

I have mentioned in previous blogs the influence  of Robert Bly’s book “Iron John” on my journey when I was in my mid 40’s.  In the Iron John story, the boy, whom we know to be a king’s son, leaves the security of his parents and rides off on Iron John’s shoulders.  On his journey the boy comes to realize that he doesn’t have any skills to support himself.  He ends up working for a cook in the basement of another castle, carrying wood and water, and taking out the ashes.  This was a dirty, humble, menial job.

Bly pointed out that there comes a time in a man’s life, usually at mid-life, when a man has to carry out the ashes.  This is the time of life when we face failure, disappointment, humiliation, tragedy, illness or some other experience that is humbling and disorientating.  I know for me, it was the collapse of a significant ministry in Des Moines, Iowa.  I felt defeated. The ministry in establishing a charismatic Lutheran Church all came tumbling down.   I gave up what I called, “The big Deal” because it had been more about me then the Lord.  I went to Northern Minnesota.  In Richard Rohr’s words, “I had built my tower and now God was asking me to jump of the tower.”  It was hard to be in “free fall.”.

Recently,  I read of Tiger Woods return to the golf tour at the Hero World Challenge.  ESPN writer Jason Sobel writes, “What he is ready for is the underdog role.  The guy who has endured so many surgeries he shouldn’t be able to walk….It’s as if his rigid exterior has melted, revealing a softening core.  He has stared career mortality in the face on multiple occasions.”  I’m not sure, but it looks like Tiger has carried out some ashes.  Has he turned to the Lord in the process.  We don’t know.  But he has been humbled.  That’s doing your ash work.

I seriously started carry out my ashes in Des Moines over 30 years ago in my 40’s.   As Rohr is fond of saying,  “A man has to eat his sin.”  I mark it as one of the two or three signature periods of my life.  The emotional pain was significant, while my spiritual orientation became like a “dark night of the soul.”  It last for about three years, before I could climb out of the “slim pit.”   It brought a comforting peace, a inner spaciousness and a willingness to just be myself without having to prove my spirituality.

For any  younger men reading this blog who is doing “ashes work,” take courage.  The darkness and disorientation is a necessary stripping away of your false religious self.  What hurts is the religious part.  No one was more invested in his false spiritual persona then I was, as a gun-ho evangelical, charismatic Lutheran pastor in a city church, that was thought of as a “lighthouse” ministry in the ELCA.  It all can crashing down. I had to face the humiliating fact that my spirituality was hallow, empty and without substance.

The Psalmist talks about it as being in a “slimy pit.”  “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me, and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand’ (Ps 40:1-2).  My advice.  Don’t lose your focus on the Lord, no matter how much it hurts.  Allow yourself to be humbled, by others and your circumstance, and cry out to God for mercy.  He will rescue you from the pit.

At the Recent Golden Globe awards, Oprah Winfrey gave a powerful and moving speech advocating women’s empowerment, in light of the recent revelation regarding sexual harassment.  Women and the “MeToo” movement against sexual assault took center stage at the Golden Globes. Almost all the attendees wore black as a show of respect for gender equality.  In accepting the Cecil B De Mille Award, Oprah summed up the moment: “For too long women have not been heard or believed if they dared to speak their truth to the power of those men.  But their time is up. Their time is up!”  The energy around sexual harassment resulted in a new movement – “Time’s up.”

How will men respond to Oprah’s passionate plea?  I wonder how  the “wildmen” reading this blog relate to women speaking their new found truth?  It is going to take more then women on the stage, dressed in black to bring change to men and their sexuality.  It will take candid dialogue between men and women.   Women have processed their story, finding their voice, expressed in previously hidden anger.  Men will need to find their authentic voice as well.

It is a time for men of moral integrity and sexual purity to rise up and be heard and seen as exemplars.  But we must be ready to  “suffer” misunderstanding and anger from women, who are expressing some justifiable anger.  Are men prepared to face the new cultural winds of adversity.

Peter mentions suffering at least nine times in addressing “aliens and strangers in the world,” challenging them “to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul” ( I Peter 2:11).  He warns them, “You’ve already put in your time in that God-ignorant life, partying night after night, a drunken and profligate life” (I Peter 4:3 – Message).  Then Peter gives this encouragement., “So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation” (I Peter 5:10).

Men, we are to  stand up for the sake of  our wives and daughters, for those who have been abused, and for those who are in bondage and fear because of a distorted image of the masculine that is robbing them of the fullness of life in being a female. We must not be silent.  Sexual harassment by men of any kind is wrong.

Here are some principles to remember as you attempt to influence the sexual harassment controversy in your sphere of influence.  First, and foremost, make sure you are centered in your unique, masculine soul.  In all your shame, vulnerability and sin allow yourself to hear the truth – “You have a Father in heaven who very fond of you.”   Secondly, learn to accept, embrace and digest the justified anger of women regarding abuse.  It is real and painful. Make no excuse for men.  Humbly admit that WE have a problem, not women

Thirdly, take a good look in the mirror.  James tells us, “For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.  You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like” (James 1:23-24 NLT).  Admit to yourself that there is a wolf  within you, a latent predator,  that needs continual monitoring. Befriend the eros energy within you, rather then being in denial.

Fourth clean up your lifestyle, knowing that we live in a sensate world. Your wife is your best monitor.  And finally, walk with humbly and confidently in the Lord, as you navigate the sexual minefields of our day.  Hear Isaiah say to you, “Let us walk in the light of the Lord” ( Is 2:5).  Don’t live in the shadowy jungles of sexual fantasies.

I recently (Jan 18th) got a Pike Place coffee from Starbucks for the hour drive home. I have issues with Starbucks more liberal views regarding social issues, but I figure once in a awhile I can patronize their establishment. The cup holder grabbed my attention.  Of course, that is the whole point.  It read, “Blond espresso – breaks rules.”  On Tuesday ( Jan 16th) Starbucks had just introduced a new light-roast espresso.

Their on- line add gave this rationale: “Who says espresso has to be intense?”  “We have for 43 years.”  “So we did the exact opposite.”  Starbucks is taking a risk with a Blonde espresso.   As one competitor put it, “If you go too light with espresso, it can be like an acidic bomb.  Some baristas might like it, but it’s probably, not a crowd-pleaser…You want to roast it light enough to taste good on its own, but dark enough to stand up to milk.”

Starbucks is going against it own self-imposed policy of using only dark-roast blends.  But as Washington Post critic Tim Carman noted, “The slogan is downright comical in its braggadocio: Smaller, more innovative roasters have been breaking the espresso rules for nearly two decades.”  He also wondered, “Will the demand remain once customers realize their Blonde lattes are now little more than caffeinated cups of milk and froth, with little evidence of the burned-coffee flavor that defined the drink for decades.”

What is your response to the slogan?  When I saw the word “Blonde” on a yellow background, along with breaking rules, I have to admit, I thought of women and harassment, not coffee.  I wonder if this was intentional on the part of Starbucks.  Are they sublimely promoting dialogue between men and women over the broken state of sexuality.   If so, I agree. As a follower of Jesus, I can give testimony to being a “one-woman-man.”  After salvation, the greatest gift in my life has been my marriage to the same woman for 52 years.  Peter reminds husbands, “As women [wives] they lack some of your advantages.  But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals.  Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground” (I Peter 3-7 – Message).

“Women are unhappy about the state of sex and romance,” observes Mona Charen. “They feel pressured, they feel disrespected, and they are fighting back.”  What are seen as normal sexual encounters, are being expressed as  harmful for many women. “At the heart of the MeToo moment in American culture is the dawning awareness of just how unfair revolutionary sex can be,” notes Samuel James.  The sexuality of men has been assumed to be naturally brutish, needing to be tamed by feminist dictates.  But men will still be men.  As a result women are confused, hurt and even fearful of ongoing relationship with men.

Men, this is now our time. Men who have practiced moral purity and sexual integrity need to enter the dialogue with the women in their circle of influence.  I full heartedly agree with James when he states, “The task of repairing a broken sexual culture…..begins with repenting of our prejudice against purity….We need to consider whether a more proactive, more equitable place for the sexes will be one that errs on the side of prudence rather than revolution.  We are hearing from a generation that they want sex that doesn’t break, abuse or humiliate them.”

Men need to heed Paul advice,, “Be gracious in your speech.  The goal is to bring out the blest in others in conversation, not put them down, not cut them out” (Col. 4:6 – Message)  Let the “Blonde”  slogan be a reminder of  the many women, who need  to hear a caring male voice in their lives.

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