Category: Wildman Journey (Page 40 of 87)

In his book Building Your Band of Brothers, Stephen Mansfield makes this observation: “Men are made to protect the territory assigned to them and to assure that everything within that territory fulfills its God-ordained purpose.”  “Manly men tend their field” is a vibrant theme in Mansfield’s work with men.  It is based on II Cor. 10:13,  where Paul defines the boundaries of his responsibility. “We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us, a field that reaches even to you.”   Men, how well are you protecting your field?  Many men are missing in action,  having surrendered their responsibility in this area.

This blog comes as a Wildman Alert: “Don’t get taken out!” Don’t let the evil one take you out as a manly man. “The thief,” Jesus warns, ” comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10).  Men, we are warned: “Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour” (I Peter 5:8 – Amplified).  Satan is cunning and cruel.  “He attacks when least expected and desires to destroy completely those whom he attacks” (Amplified  footnote).

Recently I was mediating on Matthew 24, where Jesus tell us to “keep watch” and to be ready.  “If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into” (Matt. 24:43).  I had been going through some “emotional and spiritual turbulence” with my lovely bride.  I was withdrawn in my spirit, causing me to neglect my wife.  Then I woke up to the realization that I had allowed the enemy to break into my spiritual house.  He was robbing our marriage of its usual harmony and oneness.  I cried out for mercy, repenting of my attitude and rebuking the enemy’s presence in my marriage. I had almost been taken out.

Men, our primary assignment is tend and protect our home, that is, our marriage and family.  The enemy wants to take you out. I was missing in action, licking my self-righteous wounds, justifying my attitude and finding ways to blame my wife for her behavior.  When I stood and rebuked the enemy, I immediately felt a heaviness lift and a new energy to engage with my wife more deeply.  I had to confess to my wife my selfish withdrawal from her.  I had not been alert.  The enemy had gotten me with his “flaming arrows.”

Here is what I want you to know from my experience of almost being taken out: 

1. Don’t let your guard down. We need to be awake.  That means practicing the presence of Jesus.  Live in his presence throughout the day, no matter what you are doing.  His Spirit will alert you to the dangers of the enemy.  It came to me in a flash of a moment. I knew immediately why there was such “spiritual turbulence” in my home.
2. Stand in the strength of the Lord.  Your wife and kids can not do this for you.  You are responsible for protecting your family.  Ask Jesus for his help.
3. Tend your field. Being AWOL is not an option.  God asked Adam, “Where are you?”  What do you have to say about tending our field? 
4. Stay engaged spiritually. The enemy will attack you.  He wants to take you out of action. That means making your relationship with the Lord central to all you do.

I have only recently become aware of “The Incel Movement.”  On April  23, 2018, a van allegedly driven by Alek Minassian, drove onto a sidewalk in downtown Toronto, killing ten people and wounding eighteen others.  On his Facebook page, Minassian pledged allegiance to the “Incel Rebellion.”  “Incel” stands for ‘involuntarily celibate.” As Vox.com explains, the “rebellion” is “not an organized militant group but rather an idea developed by…An online community of men united by their inability to convince women to have [intimate relations] with them.”   David French observed the movement, “essential blames women for being attracted to strong or rich men.  And it’s a theory that’s steeped in sexual entitlement, the belief that men somehow have a right to have sex.”

The frustration and loneliness  felt by younger men is only a natural consequence of the sexual revolution.  Ross Douthat wrote in his column “the culture’s dominant message about sex is still essentially Hefnerian……a message that frequency and variety…..is as close to a summum bonum as the human condition has to offer…..virginity and celibacy are at best strange and at worst pitiable states.”  The reality for some young men is the expectation and  entitlement concerning sex cannot be fulfilled in the real world. “Sometimes, to love someone…..you gotta be a stranger” is a typical sentiment.

Here are a few of my thoughts as I celebrate 53 years of marriage (June 11) to the same woman, who is like good wine – better with age.

1) Don’t forget to check with the creator of sex.  Jesus reminds us that from the beginning, “God made them male and female…Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split what God has joined together” (Mat 19:4 & 6).  The sexual revolution of our day has rejected God’s design for man and woman being joined together in life long commitment.  God patterned human love on his love for us.  To be fulfilled it is best to consult with the creator.

2) The Incel Movement is the result of the wide consumption of pornographic activity on the internet.  Young men especially have found a safe, hidden place  to indulge their sexual fantasies without absolutely no emotional investment.  Any man, who has a happy, fulfilling marriage, will attest to marriage being what the early monks called a ” white martyrdom.”  The fullness of sexual intimacy involves the hard work of establishing emotional intimacy and spiritual oneness before the actual act.

3) These are broken men who believe sexual relationships with a woman is a right.  But fulfillment comes not in the getting but in the giving to the other.  The sexual revolution made personal pleasure and fulfillment the norm.  Thus lonely, frustrated and confused young men demand that others fulfill their fantasies.  “Ideas have consequences,” John Stonestreet notes, “and bad ideas have victims.”  These young men are victims.  The incel movement proves that the sexual revolution was full of bad ideas.

4) Disorder desires make for “bent sexuality.”  It is our disordered desires that lead us astray. The sexual revolution elevated the sexual experience to a kind of quasi-religious status.  Every spiritual man reading this blog is aware of “the tiger in his tank.”  Many years ago I took Paul’s advice to heart. “It is better for them [young men] to be married than to be tortured by unsatisfied desires” (I Cor 7:9 – Phillips). White martyrdom with my bride has helped me deal with my disordered desires.

5) One final thought, which is revolutionary in our day  Sex is holy.  It a  search for union.  Sexual union finds its meaning ultimately in union with Christ.  Paul tells us, “The marriage relationship is a great mystery, but I see it as a symbol of the marriage of Christ and his Church” (Eph. 5:32 – Phillips).

This is a follow up blog about Alexander Solzhenitsyn. He suffered greatly while being imprisoned.  He won the 1970 Nobel Prize in Literature for his powerful writing on communist oppression and spiritual emptiness.  His 1962 novel, “One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich” described life in a Stalinist labor camp.  By 1973 Solzhentisyn had published “The Gulap Archipelago” which exposed the system of labor camps in Russia, resulting in his 1974 expulsion from the Soviet Union.

As a young pastor I remember His voice being clear, distinct and uncompromising, compared to the moral and ethical uncertainty of American culture. He gave me courage and a desire to speak the truth.  Here is a quote that made a lasting  impression on me as I was forming my theological view of reality.  After his imprisonment in the Russian gulap of Joseph Stalin’s “corrective labor camps” Solzhenitsyn wrote:

“It was granted to me to carry away from my prison years on my bent back, which nearly broke beneath its load, this essential experience: how a human being becomes evil and how good.  In the intoxication of youthful successes I had felt myself to be infallible, and I was therefore cruel.  In the surfeit of power I was a murderer and an oppressor.  In my most evil moments I was convinced that I was doing good, and I was well supplied with systematic arguments.  It was only when I lay there on rotting prison straw that I sensed within myself the first stirrings of good.   Gradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not through states, not between classes, nor between political parties either – but right through every human heart – and through all human hearts…..That is why I turn back to the years of my imprisonment and say, sometimes to the astonishment of those about me: ‘Bless you, prison,’ for having been in my life!'”

Solzhenitsyn acknowledges his youthful arrogance, believing that he was doing good while being blind to his cruelty.  By the amazing grace of God, while lying on “rotting prison straw”  he felt the “first stirrings of good” in his own soul.  It was then that he came to see that the line that separated “good and evil passed through every human heart.”  I never forgot those words.  Solzhenitsyn was able to bless his time in prison for helping him form a conviction about good and evil. He wrote elsewhere, “If only it were so simple.  If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds and it was necessary only to separate them.  But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.  And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart.”

In those formative years I also remember Henri Nouwen’s words characterizing Thomas Merton: “Merton knew only too well that the sin, evil and violence that he found in the world, were the same sin, the same evil, and the same violence that he had discovered in his own heart…..The impurity in the world was a mirror of the impurity in his own heart.”

Ever since those days, I’ve learned to accept, even though I want at times to deny, the presence of  good and evil in my own heart. It has kept me humbly dependent on God’s grace, living with “moral realism.”  Regarding himself, Paul said, “But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst of sinners” ( I Tim 1:16). David acknowledged, “But I am conscious of my rebellion, and my sin is always before me” (Ps. 51:3).

June 8th marked the 40th anniversary of “A World Split Apart,” the commencement address delivered by Aleksandr Solzhentisyn at Harvard University.  Chuck Colson considered it “one of the most prophetic and eloquent” commencement addresses ever given.  As a young pastor (37), I remember how I admired Solzhentisyn for his courage and candor.   It was a reminder  of Ezk. 2:5 “Whether they listen or refuse to listen – for they are a rebellious house – they will know that a prophet has been been among them.”  He warned his audience of a “disaster in the calamity of a despirtualized and irreligious humanistic consciousness” in the West.

He began by accusing the West of evading the truth.  “Truth eludes us if we do not concentrate our attention totally on it’s pursuit… the illusion of knowing it still lingers and leads to many misunderstandings….truth seldom is pleasant; it is almost invariably bitter.”  He warned against “destructive and irresponsible freedom” and what he called “the abyss of human decadence.” He wonder what would “redeem the 20th century’s moral poverty.”

Solzhenitsyn did not view the West as a model for the rest of the world, but rather saw us in a “state of spiritual exhaustion.”  The decline in courage was the most striking feature of the West.  “Such a decline in courage is particularly  noticeable among the ruling groups and the intellectual elite, causing an impression of courage by the entire society.” Our policies were based on “weakness” and “cowardice.”

He faults the West for the abandonment of  its moral and spiritual ideals.  The West was spiritually sick. Our moral decline was the result of forgetting God.  People worship themselves, deifying their own desires, while falling into an idolatry of the self, because they had forgotten there is someone higher than themselves.”  We suffer from the delusion of thinking we are “the center of everything that exists,” believing we are not accountable to “any higher force.”

Speaking like an Old Testament prophet, Solzhenitsyn visualized a fight of cosmic proportions that had already begun.  “The forces of evil have begun their offensive; you can feel their pressure, and yet your screens and publications are full of prescribed smiles and raised glasses.”  No weapons will be useful since we have lost our willpower.  “To defend oneself, one must also be ready to die.”  The alternative is concession and “attempts to gain time.”

Our  turning away from the Spirit caused a blindness to “the existence of intrinsic evil in man.” “Turning our backs upon the Spirit, with life not having an superior sense, provided an access to evil” of which there was a free and constant flow.  We  have placed too much hope in “political and social reforms, only to find out that we were being deprived of our most precious possession: our spiritual life.” “Man’s sense of responsibility to God and society grew dimmer and dimmer.”

As Solzhentisyn closes his remarks he gives this warning, “If the world has not come it its end, it has approached a major turn in history….it will exact from us a spiritual upsurge….This ascension will be similar to climbing onto the next anthropologic stage.  No one on earth has any other way left but – upward.”

Men, these are the words of a prophet. Forty years later, our cultural crisis confirms  his prophetic words.  He describes our culture as spiritual sick and exhausted, living in moral poverty.   He warned of a fight that would be of cosmic proportions with the constant and free flow of evil.  His advice was to look upward, that is, to the Lord.   Prophets have a shock and awe affect when they speak.  Go read the prophet’s speech for yourself.  It is readily available on line.

I remember well the large “Promise Keepers” events during the mid 90’s.  I attended the first two at the old Metrodome in Minneapolis.  There were over 60,000 men in attendance.  It was like a hug pep rally for Jesus, with men shouting praises to God, making heartfelt commitments to be men of God.   The energy from these “spiritual pep rallies” created instant followers of Jesus. Female reporters from local papers came to spy, searching for an explanation for the gathering.  But it  simply could not be explained in the natural.

Obviously it was the Spirit of God.  I brought men, both young and old, including my two sons.   It was a inspiring time of be a man of God.  What a difference 25 years makes.  In those days, there was a tangible sense of God working in the lives of men.  Today, however, men are accused of “toxic masculinity” while the #MeToo movement is exposing men as sexual predators.  What happened?  The national consciousness has certainly turned hostile regarding the masculine – and men in general.

Large movements that offer the spiritual boost of a pep rally tend to be ineffective in helping sustain a healthy spiritual life. Men need consistent, face-to-face relationships with other men. Real change comes through small groups of men (like a Band of Brothers), that are intentional about lifestyle change and character formation.  The AA model of soul care brings such  change. Most men are reluctant to join.  They need to see the value of being vulnerable with other guys.  They need to know it is safe.

A recent article in Christianity Today concluded by saying, “The future of men’s ministry will remain small for a long time.”  I agree.  Large group gatherings, a monthly men’s event, and even an annual retreat will not bring the transformation needed for men to grow in Christlikeness in a post-Christian culture.  It might create a spark, but not light the fire needed to foster true change.  “Stereotypes about ‘that’s just how men are’ have turned much darker in the last few years.”

In this blog, I assume I am appealing to committed men, who want to follow Jesus. We need to  accept the cultural narrative regarding  toxic masculinity.  Paul encourages us to be lights, “Once you were ‘darkness’ but now as Christians you are ‘light’ – Live then as Children of light” (Eph. 5:8 – Phillips).  My warning is not to become isolated in shame, failure and loneliness.  “Men are awash in a sea of casual relationships,” states author Stephen Mansfield.  Men, he noted, have “no one who would hold them accountable if their life went off the rails.”

There is a strong connection between loneliness, feelings of failure, and bad male behavior.  I agree with Nate Pyle who worries that the ideal Christian man described by many contemporary men’s ministries is always in control. “Fear or loneliness or failure become places of shame,” notes Pyle.  Being in control can produce moralism and perfectionism which leads to shame and sense of failure.

A Band of Brothers, meeting as a male support group, challenges being in control by the admission of ” helplessness.”  Men find support from other men who admit to struggles.  Men honestly sharing their story of  failure, hidden secrets, hope and faith, help other men to find their voice to share their struggle.  Paul tells us, “Even if  a man should be detected in some sin, my brothers, the spiritual ones among you should quietly set him back on the right path, not with any feeling of superiority but being yourselves on guard against temptation” (Gal 6:1-2 – Phillips).

Recently, as part of Starbuck’s efforts to start “renewing Starbucks as a place where all people feel welcome,” the chain closed down 8,000 stores “for a conversation and learning session on racial bias” with 175,000 of is employees.  A  new “Third Place Policy” promotes becoming “Color Brave,” as  an  alternative to color-blind, wherein a person’s racial identity is not ignored, but rather seen and respected for what it is.  “We want to uplift others, we exist to inspire and nurture the human spirit – one person, one cup, and one neighborhood at a time” was the stated mission in Starbuck guidebook.

I affirm Starbucks desire to make customers feel “seen,” “respected,” and “uplifted.” But promoting a “Third Place Policy” which would allow anyone to hang out or use the restrooms, regardless of whether they purchase anything seems to me to be rather utopian in its vision.  On what basis does Starbucks hope to build an emphasis on being “color brave?”

How do we define a person?  “The person is a theological category” maintains James Houston.  “The ontology for the person has the awareness of being in the presence of the other.”  This takes us back to the garden where a loving, creator God created  man in his image.  “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.

The Christian faith celebrates each person as created uniquely yet different by a personal  God who live in perfect. loving relationship as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We are not simply isolated individual. We are never more a person and more real then when we live in relationship with the  three-in-one God.  The dilemma that Starbucks rightly wants to address is the tragedy of “dis-relationship.”  We live separated from ourselves, others and God.   A biblical view of reality affirms that only the triune God of grace can provide a metaphysics  for relationality of persons.

I rejoice with the Psalmist, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it” (Ps 139:17).  But I also must  affirm the Psalmist when he acknowledges, “For I was born a sinner – yes, from the moment my mother conceived me” (Ps 51:5).  It is my sin that cause me to be a “self-referencing” man, turned in on myself, threatened by the presence of “the other.”  But God has come to my rescue. “But if anyone does sin, we have a Priest-Friend in the presence of the Father: Jesus Christ, righteous Jesus.  When he served as a sacrifice for our sins, he solved the sin problem for good – not only ours, but the whole world’s” ( I John 2:2 –  Message).

The Spirit of Christ will give me courage to be “color brave.”  Being secure in my identity in Christ, helps me to accept the uniqueness of the other.  Experiencing the love of God motivates me  to be “color brave.”  I will fail in my attempts, but I know I can improve with the help of God’s spirit.  I desire to not ignore differences but see and respect the other. But I will watch that this does not become another of my spiritual improvement projects, in which I can congratulate myself on being “color brave.”  Rather I cry out to God for mercy to lovingly embrace others.

As soulful men we should welcome the Starbucks challenge to be color brave, “wherein a person’s racial identity is not ignored, but rather seen and respected for what it is..”  We will be simply following Jesus’ command. “Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this men will know that you are my disciples, if you love another” ( John 13:34-35).

Ed Stetzer, the executive director of the Billy Graham Center at Wheaton College has articulated a helpful concept for living in post-Christendom – “Convictional Minority.”  Christendom assumes that a Christian worldview is the accepted view of culture.  This is no longer true. Peter addressed his first letter to “Strangers in the world” (I Peter 1:1), calling them “aliens and strangers in the world” ( I Peter 2:11).  Being a stranger today takes on a whole new meaning for me in comparison to my coming of age spiritual during the Jesus movement of the early 70’s.  “Let’s put this into the facts that we know about our population,” Stetzer suggests. “If the percentage of people who are nominally Christian is shrinking and nominal Christians become Nones, then we are dwelling in an increasingly secular land.”

Being part of a  conviction minority means we will be missionaries in a neo-pagan culture.  This can be a new and radical perspective for some men reading this blog.  The word “pagan” suggests we are living in occupied territory, where the essence of the gospel is unknown.  Knowing that we will be hate, Jesus prays that we will be protected from the evil one. “And the world hates them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world.  I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but the keep them safe from the evil one” (John 17:14-15)

Stetzer exhorts us to develop “gospel clarity.”  “Being labeled Christian,” notes Stetzer, “no longer means a ‘social Christian’, but instead it is someone who’s been changed by the power of the gospel.”  We are to live as soulful men rescued by grace and being conformed in the image of Christ .  “I urge you as strangers and exiles to abstain from sinful desires that wage war against the soul.  Conduct yourselves honorably among the pagans, so that when they slander you as evildoers, they will observe your good works and will glorify God on the day he visits” ( I Peter 2:11-12).  A soulful man will respond with love.  “What matters is something for more interior: faith expressed in love” (Gal. 5:6 – Phillips).

We live says Stetzer, “in an age of outrage.” Jesus warned of this outrage. “A brother is going to betray his own brother to death, and a father his own child.  Children will stand up against their parents and condemn them to death.  There will come a time when the whole world will hate you because you are known as my followers. Yet the man who holds out in the end will be saved” (Mark 13:1213). Outrage is a normal response among pagans.

We should be engaging the culture observes Stetzer less with “you owe me” and more with “How can I engage the culture we are in via the mission we are on?”  We should expect to be tested in our faith. “I beg you not to be unduly alarmed,” Peter tells us, “at the fiery ordeals which comes to test your faith, as though this were so abnormal experience.  You should be glad, because it means that you are sharing in Christ’s suffering” ( I Peter 4:12 – Phil).  Don’t expect to be warmly accepted among the unbelieving majority..

Russell Moore’s view is that America has not become so much “post-Christian” but rather a society in a “post-pretend-Christian” state.  Today we have the opportunity to view ourselves as missionaries on a mission field that is “pre-Christian.”  “It may be,” says Russell, “that this land is filled with people who, though often Christ-haunted, have never known the power of the gospel yet.”  A soulful man has confidence in the power of the gospel to change lives.

Recently I was asked to preach in my church on rather short notice.  It was Saturday morning and Sunday is coming real soon.  I  pondered on what I should preach.  I settled on the Transfiguration of our Lord, partly because of the notes I had from past preaching on the text.  I choose to focus on Luke’s account in chapter 9.  I was still not sure about the direction of my preparation.

But when I woke up on Sunday morning, I had the key concept for the sermon.  It evolved around my remembrance of the title of a book widely read during the days of the Jesus Movement in the early 70’s.  The tile was “Good Old Plastic Jesus.”  I had the burden for the church to deal with the concept of appearance vs. reality.  If our faith practice is only having more helpful knowledge of Jesus, or doing more good for him, we can easily miss the heart connection with him.  Jesus can then become an idol in our mind, appearing as  “Good Old Plastic Jesus” rather then the real person, with whom we enjoy deep rationality.  We need to be careful not to put Jesus into our religious box.

Eight days after telling the disciples that he would die in Jerusalem and then rise again, Jesus took his inner circle, Peter, James and John, “onto a mountain to pray.” As Jesus was praying, “the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes become as bright as a flash of lightening” ( Luke 9:29).  Matthew tells us, “His face shone like the sun” (Matt. 17:3).  Jesus was transfigured. The glory of his divine nature shone through his human nature. Moses and Elijah appeared in “glorious splendor” taking about Jesus departure after his death. This was truly a glorious event.

Did Jesus know this would happen to him?  Knowing his disciples were perplexed concerning  his impending death in Jerusalem and his call for them to lose their life, in order to find it, Jesus was drawn to be with his Father.  The three disciples were deeply impacted by their experience on the mountain.  Later Peter wrote, “we were eyewitnesses of his majesty.  For he received honor and glory from God the Father when the voice came to him from the Majestic Glory, saying, ‘This is my Son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased'” II Peter 1:18).

At the time of the Transfiguration, Peter took charge.  “‘Master, this is a great moment!  Let’s build three memorials, one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.’  He blurted this out without thinking” Luke 9:33 – Message).  What was Peter doing?  He was, in a sense, building a box for Jesus.  The disciples didn’t want Jesus to die.  They weren’t sure what Jesus meant when he said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

“While he was babbling on like this, a light-radiant cloud enveloped them.  As they found themselves buried in the cloud, they become deeply aware of God.  Then there was a voice out of the cloud: ‘This is my Son, he Chosen! Listen to him” (Luke 9:35).  When the sound of the voice died away, the disciples saw Jesus there alone.

The implication for us as men is this – beware of  your spiritual improvement projects when we use Jesus, rather then let him be Lord.  The voice is saying to us, listen to Jesus.  He is my Son.  Out of love for you, God will place you in “The Cloud of Unknowing” for your own good.  Stay there and listen.  Don’t act on your own understanding.  It could be another religious box.

Back in 1996 Robert Bly wrote a book entitled “The Sibling Society” in which he portrayed our culture as  being obsessed by youth, suspicious of  authority, intent on wanting to destroy “vertical” culture, especially any sense of patriarchy. Their desire was to  replace it with a  “horizontal” culture expressed by pop music, movies, TV, student-style politics and in our day, the social media.  For better or worse, the watershed moment was 1968.

“The sibling society stands  in contrast to what preceded it,” observed John Waters, “the father-oriented society in which authority was unafraid to speak or to be despised by the young for so doing.”  He defines authority as “the capacity to endure unpopularity in the interests of the good.” Authority expressed in fatherhood invited resentment and rebellion.  “The father” notes Waters, “was the guarantor and custodian of civilization, and even malcontented youth looked to him for guidance, free to remonstrate in the knowledge that affection would not be withdrawn.”  But today the father figure is mostly absent or suspect, leaving a hole in the souls of young men, now being invaded by the demons of a anti-Christian culture.

The Jordon Peterson phenomena comes to mind when there is talk of a “father figure.”  Peterson is speaking to the soul of  young men, who are looking for a strong, confident masculine voice to give them direction in a culture that has given the masculine little hope of finding a sense of being. There is much to disagree with, in regards to Peterson’s personal theology and spirituality, but I thank God that he is willing to confront the cultural narrative regarding young men.  I admire him for his courage and insight.

Many of those who are his sharpest critics, were themselves a product of the 60s culture of peace, love, dope and an anti-establishment mentality.  I agree with Waters when he says, “They are…..the worst kind of people to be running anything requiring even a modicum of authority, having themselves grown up thinking that youth values ought to trump experience, wisdom and tradition.”

Where are the elders who behave like grown ups in our culture.  It needs to  start with fathers and the right view of authority.  I remember well all the years  I taught confirmations classes to junior hi youth.  We would study the 10 commandments.  “Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God is giving you” was the fourth commandment.  What does this mean?  “We should fear and love God so that we do not show contempt for our parents and superiors, nor provoke them to anger, but honor, serve, obey, love and esteem them.”

I told those young teens that parenting was like putting a loving fence around the children.  As teen agers they would bump up against that fence and get frustrated, anger, etc.  This is normal for young people.  I reminded them that parents in their love for children would get bruised and battered from their behavior.  Then I asked, “What would it be like if there was no fence to confront.’  They usually said that they would be on their own.  Waters is right when he says the “snowflake” problem today “is the result of an absence not so much of adulthood as of grown-ups.”

“Today’s university students seek to apply the most natural and tired method of young people since the time of Cain and Abel, by pushing their elders until someone let a roar of ‘enough.'” (Waters).   Men stand in the gap.  Ask God for grace to say “enough.”  It is your place to do so.

Here is a quote from my favorite feminist, Camila Paglia, “….male identity is very tentative and sensitive – but feminist rhetoric doesn’t allow for it.  This is why women are having so much trouble dealing with men in the feminist era.  They don’t understand men, and they demonize men.  They accord to men far more power than men actually have in sex.  Women control the sexual world in ways that most feminists simply don’t understand.”

Camila is right in her observations.  Having been happily married for 52 years to the same woman, I have grown in my understanding of the feminine.   Nothing keeps me more humble then my soulmate relationship with WOMAN.  Relating to my wife and the feminine will always be a challenge.  Remember Paul said the two being one flesh is “a profound mystery.”  I feel sorrow for the rhetoric  expressed by the new generation of feminists. They disavow any sense of mystery when it comes to the masculine in relation to the feminine.

The most fruitful place to grow in the understanding of WOMAN is in  committed, faithful marriage.  I wonder how many angry feminists, who espouse “toxic masculinity” have a loving, committed marriage to a MAN.  Since the beginning man and woman were meant to be one flesh, not to be split apart.   Jesus warned us, “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together’ (Matt. 19:3).

I agree –  male identity is very tentative and sensitive. Men have  frail egos. Genesis 2:20 tells us, “But for Adam no suitable helper was found” (Gen 2:20).  Adam was not complete alone.  He needed someone to stand with him, being his supporter and bringing encouragement in his dominion of the garden.  I would never had made it through my years as a pastor without my wife being my greatest support.  Every man needs  a ” help mate.” It is lonely without one.

Feminist rhetoric lacks understanding of the masculine.   This is due to the fall. After the fall Genesis tells us, “At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness.  So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves” (Gen 2:7).  Male and female fig leaves prevent us from truly knowing one another.

Because of the fig leaf, men are being demonized.  God made humans in his own image.  “In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Gen 1:27).  Both are equal before God.  You can’t demonize the image of God found in the masculine, without destroying the relationship.  After God created Eve out of the rib of Adam we read, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother, and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Gen 2:24).  Today we are witnessing a war between the sexes.

Yes, women have power in sexual relationships. The first part of Proverbs warns against the  seductive power of a wayward women. “”So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery.  He followed her at once, like a ox going to the slaughter” ( Prov 7:21-22). Pornography can destroy a marriage, when a man fantasies with a wayward woman.

I thank God for my relationship with my “Proverbs 31  wife.”  “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?  She is more precious than rubies” (Prov. 31:10).  Judy is God’s greatest gift to me.  “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband” (Prov 12:4).  My wife is a crown in my life, not burden..  She is my “graceful dove.”  “She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.  Let her breasts satisfy you always.  May you always be captivated by her love” (Pro 5:19).  I call Judy “my bride.”