Category: Brother Al (Page 9 of 68)

Some time ago, I read an article by Matt Fuller entitled “Reclaiming Masculinity.”  I took some notes as he expressed in the article that men should “take responsibility to lead, be ambitious for God’s kingdom, use your strength to protect the church, serve others, invest in friends and raise healthy ‘sons’.”  As I read Fuller’s challenge anew, I found myself being inspired to finish strong, but also feeling regret for missing the mark way too often over 60 years of trying to follow the Lord. 

So, I went over Fuller’s checklist to see how I have developed as a man.  After 58 years of marriage, I tried to be honest as I looked in the rearview mirror:

1) Men and women really are different – but not THAT different.  I had no idea what I was getting into when I got married.  I failed miserably, not appreciating the strengths and abilities of my wife.  I have learned a lot about being married to a “woman.” God has given me a great treasure in Judy; “she is far more precious than jewels” (Prov. 31:10).

2) Take responsibility.  Being a firstborn son, I carried the world on my shoulders. So, early on I was more concerned about “saving the world” than being present for my wife and children.  My spiritual life begins at home. 

3) Be ambitious for God.  As a pastor, I have always been “all in” for God’s kingdom.  I knew I was called to this ministry.  But I prioritized this too much, and didn’t place my wife and family first.   

4) Display thoughtful chivalry.  It took me years to really practice chivalry and truly honor my wife.  She is my “lily among thorns” (Song of Songs 2:1).  Opening doors, giving eye contact, seeking her input, and speaking well of her in public – these I had to learn.  I’m still learning to “cherish” Judy and practice chivalry. 

5) Use your strength to protect.  I assumed the role as head and protector quite naturally; I was the one who “drove the train.”  But in the process I was not sensitive to the needs of my wife and children.  I had to learn to humble myself, put their needs before mine, and ask for forgiveness when my ego got in the way of my family’s needs.

6) Invest in friendships.  Being a heart guy, I have always been relational by nature.  But when it came to developing closer relationships with other men, I had little to go on.  In my later years, I have come to value closer male friendships that make me more accountable.  I am very thankful to have Dan and Bruce in my life.

7) Raise healthy ‘sons’.  I raised two sons and have mentored other young men. They are very different  from me and from each other.  I should have listened more intently, asked better questions, and given them more of my time.   

My wife did much better in her role as my wife.  She put up with my preaching for 40 years.  And she did it wonderfully.  She is a “total, natural woman” – integrated and authentic.  She has aged much better than I, while I’ve been more like a yo-yo: up and down. 

Despite all this, I’m grateful for God’s grace in my life.  And I take heart in Paul’s struggle with his “thorn in the flesh.”  For the Lord told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.”  I, like many of us,  can respond like Paul, “Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (II Cor. 12:9).   

To mark the 80th anniversary of C.S. Lewis’s book The Abolition of Man, Carl R. Truman wrote an article for First Things entitled The Desecration of Man.  Lewis wrote about a world losing its sense of what it means to be human: “Modernity was abolishing man.  It represented nothing more than a crisis of anthropology,”  The abolition of man as Lewis describes it took place against the background of “its disenchantment and its accelerating liquidity.” Modernity has pushed religion and the supernatural to the margins of life, stripping our lives of mystery. With liquidity, life is in endless flux with no solid place to stand.

Citing this, Truman proposes an additional category: the desecration of man.  “We have become cogs in the machine,” notes Truman “[and] it is because we built the machine.”  To make his point, Truman suggests that in the desecration of man, we need look no further than changing attitudes about sex and death. We are created in God’s image with a body.  The tendency of modern culture is to deny significance to the body.  “We think of ourselves,” points out Truman, “as primarily psychological beings, a notion reinforced by the frictionless, disembodied interactions of our online world, where we experience a battle against the authority of the body, specifically its sexual nature and its morality.”

Desecration helps us to understand the destruction of human exceptionalism and limitation as grounded in the image of God.  “Desecration is an assertion of power, reinforcing the greatest myth our culture, which likes to believe that we are the godlike masters of this universe.”  There can be an exhilaration in thinking we are gods.  “And there is no more dramatic way of being God than in waging a holy war against the God-given nature of embodied human personhood.”

With this desecration we are “divorced from the image of God and from personhood, [treating] the body is animate Play-Doh at best.”  We now use our humanity to dehumanize ourselves.  Augusto Del Noce calls this “a total revolution.”  Truman maintains our fundamental problem today “is not that man is disenchanted or turned into liquid, but that he has been desecrated, in part by the impersonal forces of modernity, but largely by his own hand.”  

Truman’s answer, first and foremost, is a theologically-informed liturgical one: “consecration.”  “The modern crisis of anthropology must find its solution among religious communities, worshiping in local contexts.  For it is in worship that human beings are brought into the presence of the God, in whose image they are made and who grounds their common human nature.”  Since this blog is intended for men, I take this to mean that men need to take the lead in living a life surrendered to God in word and deed, pointed to our heavenly father, in whose image we’ve been created. But we cannot do this alone.  We need to be in communities of faith, where Father, Son and Holy Spirit are worshipped.

Truman reminds us of the radical way the early Church affected Roman culture.  “Her vision of human beings as persons rather than objects and as possessing innate value was grounded in the notion that all were made in the image of God.”  This is our challenge today.  “The restoration of personhood and dignity to men and women requires the worshiping community of the church to grasp the greatness of the God in whose image we are made.”

The challenge for men: 1) Surrender to the Triune God of grace, 2) Adopting a scriptural worldview (II Cor. 10:4-5; Romans 1:16-32), 3) Involvement in a believing community and 4) Living intentionally as a follower of Jesus (I Peter 2:20-21).   

In Isaiah 29:1-16 we find a recurring theme in the prophet’s message to the people of Jerusalem: If there is any hope for the nation, it will be after God’s judgment on the nation.  However, the popular narrative perpetuated by the religious leaders of the day was different.  The people as a whole, came to believed, since they were God’s chosen ones, they would be spared God’s judgment.  For them, hope meant avoiding judgment.  But as John Oswalt explains, “To all of this Isaiah said a resounding no.  The promises of God would only be realized through fire.” 

In Isaiah 29, the prophet declares God will both punish and save Jerusalem, even though the people in their hypocrisy tried to control God through false worship. This is relevant in our day, since so little thought is given to God’s judgment on our nation. But it is imperative for the church in America to realize that hope for any kind of revival would come after judgment.  For the church to have hope for the future even while experiencing God’s judgment is a message believers in our nation need to grasp as we witness the darkness slowly descending upon our nation.  There is light after the darkness.    

Isaiah refers to Jerusalem as “Ariel” (29:1-2, 7).   Ariel means “an altar hearth,” which is “the flat surface of the altar on which a fire was lit to consume the sacrifices” (Webb/Isaiah).  Ariel alludes to Jerusalem as the nation’s religious center, but the word used by Isaiah has terrible barb to it.  Ariel “foreshadows the judgment that the Lord is going to bring on the city … the Lord is going to light another kind of fire in Jerusalem, the fire of his judgment, and when he does so the entire city will be like a vast blazing altar hearth … Jerusalem was heading for flaming judgment because it was on a collision course with the Lord.” (Webb/Isaiah).  When judgment comes, the humbled and frightened people of the city would barely be able to speak (29:4).

In verses 5-8, Isaiah pictures Jerusalem surrounded by foreign armies. The Lord, however, would come like a powerful storm and sweep away the invaders.  While the invaders anticipated victory, they would suffer a humiliating defeat.  “They would be like a hungry and thirsty man who thinks he is eating and drinking, only to wake up and realize that it was just a dream.  This prophecy anticipates the Lord’s miraculous deliverance of Jerusalem in 701 B.C.” (Chisholm/Prophets).

In verses 9-16, the prophet denounces the religious insensitivities of the people.  He depicts them as blind, drunk, and asleep (vv. 9-10).  Isaiah’s prophetic vision remained like a sealed scroll, not able to be read.  Yet the people maintained a semblance of religion. Their worship was meaningless ritual devoid of devotion to the Lord. 

For this reason God would wake them up by doing amazing things (v. 14).  The people thought they could hide their evil plans from God. Isaiah shows how perverted their behavior was, comparing the people to pottery denying  the potter, who had created it.  The people would discover how ridiculous this attitude was.  “Though his ‘strange work’ (28:21) of purifying  judgment (29:21-22), God would demonstrate his sovereignty over the nation (28:14-29).  Then he would transform the nation’s spiritual condition,  demonstrating that true security can be found only in him (29:17-24)” (Chisholm/Prophets).   

This is an alert with significant spiritual themes for men to consider in our day.  These include: 1) Judgment comes before hope,  2) God will deal with evil, 3) Be alert to falling asleep spiritually (deep sleep v. 10),  4) We can’t hide our sin,  5) Be alert to the wonders of God’s work, and 6) Don’t allow your spirituality to become rote.

Have you ever heard of the F3Nation?  It was new to me.  I read an article in The Stream by Dr. Jeff Gardner about this new movement among men.  He noted how men are not doing very well today.  He gives this warning, “Although some feminists see the battle of the sexes as a zero-sum game, that is, what’s bad for men is good for women, the beat-down of the American male is trouble for both men and women.”  He believes, “The bottom line is as men go, so goes the country.  And as of 2024, things are not going well.”

He points to members of F3Nation, “trying to do something about the assault on the American male, helping their fellowman get back and on his feet.”  F3Nation was started in 2011 in Charlotte, North Carolina to encourage, “men to get together and exercise, usually a boot camp-style workout held early in the morning, always without charge and almost always outside.”  The movement, F3Nation, takes its name from three foundational elements that all men need: Fitness, Fellowship and Faith. 

The movement is intended to help men get out from under the “sad clown syndrome,” a mind set in which men seem happy on the outside but are depressed and dying on the inside.  “Men tend to process emotions by ‘doing something’ at work or at home,” observed one participant. “…but by the end of the day, many men feel alone, like their cup is empty and they have no one who understands them or what they are going through.” 

At F3, workouts lasts around 45 minutes and ends with what F3Nation calls “the circle of trust” (the COT).  This is a space where men can share their fears about things holding them back.  Men encourage each other to reflect on overcoming fears and self-limiting thoughts, to reach out and talk with one another, while learning to lean on each other.  Gathering together, doing the workouts, fellowship and the sharing of faith, reassures men of not be along in their struggles. F3Nation gives men a sense of stability and hope.”   

Adam, a faithful participant, shared, “F3 has helped put purpose back into those things [marriage, work, and life] by giving me a base of support, other men’s experience and wisdom that I can draw on……It helped me with discipline that I didn’t know I needed, like deciding to see a therapist about some anger issues that I was having.  I don’t think I would have done that without another men helping, even pushing me to make me better.”

In this blog I have promoted fellowship and faith but have not stressed fitness.  I give myself a pass, since I am 82 years old.  But upon more reflection, I see the value of men meeting to include fitness in their hour together.  The workouts are open and free to all men and function as a place where men find out just now resilient they are and how they can do hard things and succeed.   “By leading the workout,” said one participant, “each man has the opportunity to learn how to lead and then takes those skills back into his home, to his work, and into his community.”

At the website, F3Nation has this slogan, “Leave no man behind, but leave no man where you find him.”  When I think of fitness and exercise, I think of “initiative,” “effort,” and “discipline.”  Men can challenge each other in the challenges of life.  Life is hard; sacrifice is called for; endurance for the long haul is expected.  “Never be lazy, but work and serve the Lord enthusiastically” (Rom. 12:11 NLT).  Are we giving our best effort for the Lord?   

In an insightful City Journal article, Christopher Rufo observed, “There is a creeping sense that our society has turned upside-down.  Healthy debate is replaced by activist hysterics.  Speech is declared violence; violence is excused as speech.  Masculinity is condemned as ‘toxic,’ while men in dresses are celebrated in the public square.  It feels as if we are in the midst of a society-wide mental breakdown.”

Rufo goes on to say, “A strange new pattern of psychological dysfunction has infiltrated all our institutions … that creeping feeling sets in: our society is sick; our institutions are out of balance; our public life has been consumed by a cluster of disorders that appeal to our worst instincts and derange our most vital social functions.”  What is emerging is something new: the “Cluster B society,” which is “heavily influenced by the rise of personal pathologies and the power of … social media.”  

Four psychopathologies and personality disorders capture the spirit of our modern culture, thus creating the Cluster B society: the narcissist, the borderline, the histrionic, and antisocial.  The narcissistic personality has a sense of entitlement, the borderline personality is marked by an unstable sense of identity, the histrionic personality exhibits excessive emotionality, sexual provocation and attention-seeking, while the antisocial personality displays impulsivity, manipulation, disregard for others, tending toward violence and aggression. 

The emerging Cluster B society can also be found in positions of power and our highest institutions.  “The Cluster B traits have been formalized and entrenched in our human resource departments, government policies, cultural institutions, and civil rights laws.”  Rufo maintains, “The modern university is the primary replication site for the Cluster B pathologies.”  Pathocracy rules, that is, psychological dysfunction.  

Rufo sites social critic Heather MacDonald, who argues that with the rise of female college administrators, an obsession with “safety” and “victimhood” has emerged, in which students are validated for their self-pity.  From the university, the culture of Cluster B has spread outward.  Social media accelerates the trend.  “Sites such as TikTok have become a petri dish for incubating mental illness, especially in teenage girls, who mimic the Cluster B behaviors they see online and register skyrocketing rates of anxiety and depression.”

Some critics see this development as “the Longhouse” effect – “a matriarchal form of society that privileges the values of care, concern, and feminine social strategies.”  Rufo worries that this shift to a “female future” has consequences.  “Overly feminized leadership produces exactly the kind of Cluster B society we observe today: one in which identity is rewarded over merit, victimhood is prized over competence, and antisocial behavior goes unchecked.  Moral narcissism becomes the coin of the realm, and political conflicts are settled through blackmail and manipulation.”  

Rufo concludes by warning, “We must understand the peculiar logic and rationality of Cluster B society … If we do not, we will resign ourselves to a world gone mad.  The spontaneous life and beauty that are the fruits of a more balanced society will be snuffed out by grim commissars administering a Cluster B pathocracy.” 

In my humble opinion the Cluster B society is a crisis in masculinity.  A 1985 quote from Leanne Payne in the past sounds almost prophetic: “A crisis in masculinity is always a crisis in truth.  It is a crisis in powerlessness of the feminine virtues: the good, the beautiful, and the just … A culture will never become decadent in the face of a healthy, balanced masculinity.  When a nation or an entire Western culture backslides, it is the masculine which is the first to decline.” 

“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.” (I Cor. 16:13)

March Madness is a upon us again.  Every basketball fan knows what this means.  We watch televised games of young college athletes playing their best to keep on winning and reach the Final Four.  Men lose focus at work and even at home, as they watch their favorite teams either advance or lose.  A lot of money is bet on who is going to win.  64 teams begin with high hopes, but only one is crowned champ three weeks later.  That is why it is indeed madness.  I continue to marvel at how un-glued men can be in sports venues during March Madness.

Compare that to the men in my church as we sang together one recent Sunday.  Men are not accustomed to cheering or singing before groups of people.  They fit in much more comfortably going crazy in front of a television for their favorite team.  But this was not madness, just the united hearts of men singing in unison as they led the congregation in worship songs often sung at Promise Keepers events.  

The songs we sang were an inspiration to us all, including those in the pews.  I want to comment on two of the songs and the impact on my journey with Jesus.

The first was “Purify My Heart.”  In my recent journey, the lyrics to this song spoke deeply to my soul.  I have intentionally been waiting on the Lord, wanting to become more of a soulful man.  “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.  My soul waits for the Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning” (Ps. 130:5-6).  I am realizing that my deepest desires and yearnings are for God.  There are depths in me that God wants to fill as I learn to wait on him and allow him to do his work in me. 

The words to the song express what I have been experiencing: “Purify my heart/ Touch me with Your cleansing fire/ Take me to the cross/ Your holiness is my desire/ Breathe Your life in me/  Kindle a love/ That flows from Your throne/ Oh purify my heart/ Purify my heart.” 

The second song was “Knowing You” – this is the chorus: “Knowing you, Jesus/ Knowing you, there is no greater thing/ You’re my all, you’re the best/ You’re my joy, my righteousness/ And I love you, Lord.”  As we sang this song, a video showed men at a large Promise Keepers rally freely singing with all their hearts to the Lord.  I, for one, am paying more heed to the words of Jesus, “If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels” (Mark 8:38).  Jesus means everything to me – I am not ashamed.

The first stanza goes like this: “All I once held dear, built my life upon/ All this world reveres, and wars to own / All I once thought gain, I have counted loss/ Spent and worthless now, compared to this.”  I have a long ways to go in becoming like Jesus.  “But,” in the words of the Phillip’s translation, “I keep going on, trying to grasp that purpose for which Christ Jesus grasped me. My brothers, I do not consider myself to have grasped it fully even now” (Phil. 3:12-13 – Phillips).  The word “grasp” for me implies the realization of all of what God has done for me in Christ.  I am still in the process of trying to “grasp”; take hold of what he is already given for me.

There is a growing awareness of a powerful, deceptive influence affecting our world order.  It is being carefully named by some as “spiritual” in nature.  This should not be surprising to followers of Christ.  Jesus gave us fair warning: “For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform signs and miracles to deceive the elect – if that were possible” (Mark 13:22).  John warned of the appearing of the “antichrist.” “This is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come” ( I John 2:18).  Are we beginning to see the outlines of a great spiritual confrontation?  

I certainly am not suggesting a timeline for the end of history.  But it’s interesting to note what’s being said about the end – or at least a major shift in human history.  Interestly, I find key spiritual figures in the Catholic church articulating dramatic changes coming for followers of Christ.  

Shortly before he became Pope John Paul IV, Cardinal Wojtyla said the following during a trip to America for the United States Bicentennial:  “We are now facing the final confrontation between the church and the anti-church, between the Gospel and the anti-Gospel, between Christ and the antichrist.  The confrontation lies within the plans of divine providence: it is a trial which the whole Church … must take up and face courageously.”  I wonder – are we entering that confrontation in America?  

Ralph Martin, a lay theologian in the Catholic church warns about the end times: “The picture that the Scriptures give us of the ‘end times’ is not of the world becoming progressively more ‘advanced’ in what matters, but increasingly more depraved, believing lies that lead to destruction.”  He reminds us that “apostasy is not something that pagans do but something that those who were once Christians do.” Martin is willing to name “apostate” in speaking to the Church.

In a recent newsletter, Martin observed, “It’s a time of humiliation and chastisement for the Church, but also a time when seeds of renewal are germinating … and good yeast is being put into the dough of the remnant … We are becoming a remnant, but it is a blessing to be part of the remnant, and a remnant has a special responsibility to carry on with confidence, joy, and courage amid the growing darkness.” Are we in a time of humiliation and chastisement?

Joseph Ratzinger, before becoming Pope Benedict XVI said this back in 1969: “The church is facing very hard times.  The real crisis has scarcely begun.  We will have to count on terrific upheavals … From the crisis of today the Church of tomorrow will emerge – a Church that has lost much.  She will become small and will have to start afresh more or less from the beginning.  She will no longer be able to inhabit many of the edifices she built in proposerity.  As the number of her adherents diminishes, so it will lose many of her social privileges.”  Are we being reduced so we might rise again?

The future Pope then ends with this hopeful sign:  “But when the trial of this sifting is past, a great power will flow from a more spiritualized and simplified Church.  Men in a totally planned world will find themselves unspeakably lonely.  If they have completely lost sight of God, they will feel the whole horror of their poverty.  Then they will discover the little flock of believers as something wholly new.  They will discover it as a hope that is meant for them, an answer for which they have always been searching in secret.”  Are we ready for this new day in the church?

Seth Troutt wrote an article for Mere Orthodoxy entitled “The Masculinity pyramid.”  It is brief, to the point, and well expressed.  I hope I can do justice to the article in this short blog.  I will be quoting extensively from his remarkable insight. You will need to visualize a pyramid of the four part masculine pyramid with humility at the foundation, followed by discipline, responsibility, and strength.  

Troutt begins by acknowledging that we are in a masculine crisis.  Instead of starting with sociology or biology, he suggests that we start with ontology.  “A vision for men rooted in a hierarchy of being would have the power to both transcend and critique cultures.”  “It’s not just asking quality questions, but asking them in the right order” Troutt notes.  “This is important if we want to reclaim a healthy vision of masculinity.”  

Here is the order of questions to ask, making up the pyramid:  1) How is a man different from God? 2) How is a man different from an animal?  3) How is a man different from a boy?  4) How is a man different from a woman?  “Like a pyramid, these four core questions build upon one another…..As we develop clarity around what a man is not to be, we’ll develop a compelling vision both of what a man is and what he is becoming.”

First, man is a creature, not Creator.  “Man is under the mighty hand of God. Humility is the virtue provoked by this difference……The very form of man is humble ……. a man will never be who God is asking him to be if he lacks the considerate, curious, teachability that follow from humility.”

Secondly, man is a unique creature.  “Animals are governed by instincts and appetites…..Man has the capacity to be governed by vision, to say no to certain lesser desires in light of the greater purpose…The virtue described here could be called self-control, self-conquest, or discipline.“

Thirdly, a man is not a boy. “Boys need guardians because they cannot take care of themselves and cannot be trusted to make wise choices……Responsibility is the virtue provoked by this difference…..A man who has yet to become responsible flounders like Peter Pan.”  

Fourthly, a man is different from a woman.  “The heightened presence of testosterone is the reason men are stronger than women…testosterone makes men more aggressive…..strength and aggression present in the male sex was meant to serve a purpose.”

Troutt then suggests toxic masculinity comes in two forms.  “First, male aggression that lacks responsibility, discipline, or humility before God and secondly, male abdication that lacks all rightly ordered aggression.”  He further suggests, “Toxic masculinity Type 1 is domination,  [and] chauvinism ………Toxic masculinity Type 2 is impotent, passive, and reveals itself in characters like many men who sit in the pews of our churches.”

Troutt closes with these words, “Abuse is rampant, evil, and not to be taken lightly.  Churches must discipline abusers.  Yet, male abdication is also everywhere…..Like an ox without a yoke, testosterone without humility, discipline, and responsibility is a liability.  But, when we ‘take up His yoke’ testosterone can be an asset, not a toxin.” 

I close with Matthew 11:28-9 (Phillips), where Jesus instructs us to put on “His” yoke.  It will be unique for every man.  We are to follow Jesus not the culture.  “Come to me, all of you who are weary and over-burdened, and I will give you rest.  Put on my yoke and learn from me.  For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

What does it mean to be a committed Christian man in a post-Christian world?  Are there times when you have felt all alone?  Are you worried about the coming days?  Do you sometimes want to hide your light under a bushel basket, consciously “slacking off” in a hostile environment where the name of Jesus is offensive?  Does it sometimes tempt you to give up living for the Lord?    

Remember the story of the prophet Elijah in I Kings 18-20.  He challenged 450 prophets of Baal to ask their god to bring down fire on their altar sacrifice.  Elijah did similarly.  But he believed that “the God who answers by fire – he is God”(I Kings 18:24).  He prayed,   “Answer me, O Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again” (I Kings 18:37).  God sent fire upon Elijah’s sacrifice, but not on that of the 450 prophets.  The people fell prostate and cried, “The Lord – he is God” (I Kings 18:39).  

After this victory, however, Elijah was condemned by Queen Jezebel and ran for his life. “He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord. Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors'” (I Kings 19:4). “And the word of the Lord came to him: ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’  He replied, ‘I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty.  The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword.  I am the only one left; now they are trying to kill me, too'” (I Kings 19:10).

Later, God declared to him in an gentle whisper, “I reserve seven thousand in Israel – all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him” (I Kings 19:18).  Much later, the apostle Paul used this incident to show that God had not rejected the Israelites from the New Covenant.  He used the word “remnant.”  “So too, there is a remnant at the present time chosen by grace.  And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace” (Romans 11:5-6).  

The Message puts it this way: “It’s the same today. There’s a fiercely loyal minority still – not many, perhaps, but probably more than you think. They’re holding on, not because of what they think they’re going to get out of it, but because they’re convinced of God’s grace and purpose in choosing them.  If they were only thinking of their own immediate self-interest, they would have left long ago” (Romans 11:5-6 – MSG). 

What can we learn from this incident in the prophet Elijah’s life?

First, God can still bring the fire and turn hearts back to the Lord. Pray, believing as Elijah did, “Let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command” (I Kings 18:36).   

Second, don’t let the strong cultural narrative regarding toxic masculinity or following Jesus intimate you.  Don’t go and brood under a broom tree.

Third, admit your discouragement, but don’t say like Elijah, “”I have had enough, Lord” ( I Kings 19:4).  Admit you are not a “super” hero; you desperately need God’s grace. 

Fourth, be open to the “gentle whisper” of the Lord.  God was not in the wind, nor the earthquake, nor the fire. 

Fifthly, praise God for being part of his remnant.  It’s all of God’s work (grace) in your life.  There are others.  You are not alone.  

Jonathan Haidt, the well-respected social psychologist, wrote an article in The Free Press titled “I’m Worried About the Boys, Too.” In it he admits, “I am extremely concerned about what is happening to girls, and to boys as well … But the struggles of boys have received far less attention.  I hope that is now changing.  We can, and must, figure out how to help boys and men flourish, too.”

He acknowledges, “Back when I was focused on anxiety and depression as the dependent variables, the story of technology seemed to be … mostly about girls … For boys and young men, the key change has been the retreat from the real world since the 1970’s, when they began investing less effort in school, employment, dating, marriage, and parenting.”  

Haidt maintains, “Boys started to become more pessimistic around four decades ago, although the trend has accelerated in the years since everyone got a smartphone.”  The virtual world has been like a siren song that has been more sweeter to boys rather than girls.  Why?  It has to do with the psychological sex differences – “people vs. things.”  “Boys are more attracted to things, machines, and complex systems that can be manipulated, while girls are more attracted to people; they are more interested in what those people are thinking and feeling.”

The virtual world seems magical for many boys.  It has allowed them to interact with new gadgets, while providing a safe place to do the “sorts of things they find extremely exciting but not available in real life” – such as meeting a group of friends to play war games. Haidt points out, “Just as video games became more finely tuned to boys’ greater propensity for coalitional competition, the real world, and especially school got more frustrating for many boys: shorter recess, bans on rough and tumble play, and even more emphasis on sitting still and listening.”

To understand what’s happening to the mental health of boys, Haidt maintains that “we must use a “push-pull” analysis … what were the factors pushing them away from investing in real-world pursuits? And what were the factors pulling them into the virtual world?” Haidt warns, “The virtual world is becoming ever more immersive and addictive.  Every year it will pull harder and harder on boys, urging them to abandon the real world.”  Then he makes this obvious statement: “We’ve got to make the real world more appealing for them.” 

Haidt’s article cries out for godly men to “father” their sons.  Our culture can never replace a father’s godly example and instruction.  First and foremost, young men have only one father.  Men, our responsibility is to raise up godly younger men.  Prov. 4:20-23 tells us, “My son, pay attention to my words; listen closely to my sayings.  Don’t lose sight of them; keep them within your heart.  For they are life to those who find them, and health to one’s whole body” (CSB).  These words give a picture of intense, personal, and heartfelt passing on of Godly wisdom.

This involves men who: 1) walk the talk, 2) are deeply involved in the lives of our sons, 3) are passionate about life,  4) speak from personal experience, and 5) above all, attempt to be a living, humble exemplar.  Be encouraged by Paul words to young Timothy: “Hold on to the pattern of wholesome teaching you learned from me – a pattern shaped by the faith and love that you have in Christ Jesus.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within us, carefully guard to precious truth that has been entrusted to you” (NLT).  Remember, trust what has been deposited by your example in word and deed.