Category: Brother Al (Page 4 of 68)

M. Robert Mulholland Jr.’s book, “The Deeper Journey,” has a wonderful prayer in Chapter 4, entitled,  “Hidden with Christ in God.”  “Gracious and merciful God, whose cruciform love has plumbed the depths of my false self, awaken me from the pervasive bondage of my false self and enable me through the power of your indwelling Holy Spirit to be restored to wholeness in the image of Christ.  As I look into the nature of this Christ self, stir my heart to hunger and thirst for your transforming work in my life through the Holy Spirit, who with Christ lives and reigns with you. Amen.”

Men, as we deal with “the tiger in our tank” let us be thankful for the cruciform love of Christ present in the midst of our struggle. Our old, unregenerate self (the tiger),  does not conform to our new self in Christ.  When we enter into relationship with Christ we enter into his death (Rom. 6:3-6), but our old self dies a slow death.   “Living out this reality means a deep inner acknowledgment of our false self and a radical commitment to abandon our old way of living.”  Jesus’ death on our behalf is a demonstrates of God’s nature as cruciform love.  By His Spirit, He enters our false self, with cruciform love, to restore us in loving union with himself.  Our part is to  receive his love and allow the false self to be crucified with Christ (Gal. 2:19-20).

How the false and true self relate within us is a divine mystery.  “Christ dwells in the depths of our false self as the crucified one, yet at the same time as the risen Lord  and our new life, the Christ life (II Cor 4:6-7 & II Cor 4:10-11).”  In the cruciform experience we enter with the false self into Christ.  At the core of our false self, the cross exists for us.  As we embrace the cross in our false self, we release our false self to the cross,  allowing our old self to be nailed to the cross, so we might raised with Christ (Rom 8:10-11, Phil 3:10-11).  

Col 3:1-3 express this reality.   First, the resurrection life – “you have been raised with Christ.”  This  gives us a new mind set – “setting our hearts and minds on things above.” Verse 3 describes this reality as beyond  our natural understanding. “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”  Our life is now hidden with Christ and grounded with Christ in God.  “In the cross God has entered the entirety of our false self and confirmed it dead and in the core of our deadness God planted Christ as the seed of new life in  living union with God.”  

Living in this new reality, we let go of the old and become attached to the new. Col. 3:9-ff describes this practice.  “Paul reminds us that our true self is being renewed by God – it is his work not ours.  Just as putting off our old nature is a matter of acknowledging its deadness and abandoning it……….. so putting on the new nature is a matter of acknowledging our life hidden with Christ in God, as we send the roots of our being deeply into God’s love for us.”

Men, our belovedness is revealed in God’s cruciform love for us in Christ. Even when we turn from God’s love and into our false self, God’s love continues to enfold us and indwell us, since his cruciform love is at the heart of our false self.  “Even when we are most alienated from God…..we are still beloved.”  The work is a mystery to us, but it is accomplished by our dying and be raised in Christ.

On a recent Sunday in our Sunday school class, our leader mentioning going to the local school board meeting. He told us about a conversation he had with one student.  The student revealed how many students were contemplating suicide.  That  comment struck me at a deep place in my heart.  I raised my hand and said it make me sad to think the condition of a large number of students in our school system has deteriorated to such a desperate state.  The blame rests with my generation. Instead of complaining about the condition of our youth, we need to share the “Good News” of Jesus with them.    

As I look back during the late 1940’s and 50’s, when I was growing up,  suicide was never on the minds of my buddies.  But today we have an environment in which fragile, insecure and deeply lonely students think about ending their lives.  This is black mark on our culture!    Research paints a picture of young students alone, despairing  and feeling hopeless.  As a nation we struggle with how to address this condition.

I was reminded of a passage in Amos, which I have been wanted to include in my blog.  This discuss regarding teen suicide in America gives me the opportunity to share the words of  prophet Amos.  “‘The time is surely coming,’ says the Sovereign Lord, ‘when I will send a famine on the land – not a famine of bread or water but of hearing the words of the Lord.  People will stagger from sea to sea and wander from border to border searching for the word of the Lord. but they will not find it.  Beautiful girls and strong young men will grow faint in that day.'” (Amos 8:11-13).  

What can we learn from these words of the prophet.  First, the warning  of what could happen in our day.  We need to pay heed to our moral and spiritual condition.  If we neglect nurturing young people by not sharing Jesus, who is the “bread of life” we will have to face the consequences of starving young people,  who hunger for real  food.  Secondly, God will bring about a famine.  There is  plenty of physical bread and water, but little guidance in helping young people to find the “bread of life” and “living water.” They will experience spiritual famine, as they wander in a modern spiritual waste land.  

Thirdly, we will see young people “staggering” and “wandering” all across our nation searching for a clear word from God, in whose image they were created.  I picture a whole generation being influenced by those we call “influencers” in the social media.  The conflicting messages  only distort reality and cause the young to live in an illusionary world – hunger and dissatisfied.  

Fourthly, there is a desperate search for some grasp of transcendence and heavenly voice. saying “you are loved.”  But as the prophet warned, “they will not find it.”  Like students in my local school system, kids live in a self contained bubble that is suffocating their sense of being.  They really are crying out, but not finding what they really are looking for in our culture.

Finally these are some of the brightest and best.  Amos warns us, “Beautiful girls and strong young men will grow faint in that day.”  In other words, normal, healthy, young people will end up having thoughts of taking their own life.  

Ecclesiastes gives this advice, “Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator.  Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, ‘Life is not pleasant anymore.'” (Eccl. 12:1).

I read an informative review of a book for men entitled, “Fighting Shadows: Overcoming 7 lies that keep men from becoming fully alive.”  I was intrigued with the premise of the book.  “There’s a shadow that’s settled over the hearts of men today.  Masculinity is in crisis.  Critiques about the dangers of toxic masculinity and the abuses of patriarchal systems have grown louder than ever.  The very notions of masculinity and manhood are under attack.  In response to cultural shifts, some have doubled down on old stereotypes in ways that just add to the conflict and confusion.” As a result many men are confused and in the dark about manhood.

When did talk about masculinity became controversial it is hard to pinpoint ?  Certainly in the last decade,  men have moved into the darkness and shadows regarding their maleness.  Using metaphors such as “fighting shadows” and being “shadow men” gives the impression that men are confused about modern masculinity.  The authors Jefferson Bethke and Jon Tyson talk about the dark places as shadows in the lives of men.  They list lust, worldly ambition, loneliness, shame, apathy and despair.  

The book looks at external explanations for the crisis of masculinity.  “Men face problems because they believe cultural lies.”  The authors blame the shadowy lies on sin and Satan.  But they are also critical of the church.  “Unfortunately, much of what is taught at church about masculinity is so theoretical that it doesn’t seem to work in real life.  In the absence of effective mentors and models, not to mention the lack of margin to really work on ourselves, we just drift to the edge – out of the light.” 

While it is helpful to be aware of how the lies of our secular culture keeps men in the shadows, we need to be careful not to point the finger away from our responsibility before the Lord.  Men, indeed, feel beaten up by a hostile culture.  They need support and especially affirmation as men.  To help them interpret the negative message they are continually facing in the culture,  men will need help in being a godly man in a hostile culture.  The authors maintain, “the greatest problem facing men today isn’t our culture or the church; it’s our need for repentance and submission to Christ. What’s wrong with the world is also what’s wrong inside each of us.”

Richard Rohr is known for accusing men of “shadow boxing”  He observes, “It takes so much energy and effort to suppress what we find unacceptable in ourselves that we can have very little energy left for anything else.”  We end up shadow boxing when we place “a great portion of our unacceptable self in exile.”    

It takes courage for a man to face his real self, and not be afraid of those misconceptions of maleness internalized by the culture.  Rohr gives this warning, “We need to acknowledge, forgive, and heal all that lurks in our shadow, or we will continue to distort reality by projecting all that we hate from within ourselves onto other people and the world around us.”

In our day there is a need for men to be gathering in support groups so as to help one another with how we distort reality by avoiding the unacceptable parts of our story.  AA as a saying that speaks to this condition: “You are only as sick as your secrets.” A lot of the male influencers in the media have become well versed in projecting their shadows on younger, unsuspecting men, who are struggling with their shadow.  We need what Rohr calls, “male mothers.”  These are older mentor who can name the shadow-boxing taking place.

Anthony B. Bradley has an interesting article on the hoodie worn by young men, entitled, “Hoodie Nation; The official uniform of the crisis of boys and men.”  He notes the hoodie, “has become the all-purpose, all-season expression of conformist, homogeneous masculinity.”  It has become a symbol of resignation.  It’s like the uniform of boys and young men in hiding.  It’s a signal that reads, ‘”Do Not Disturb.”  It has become an easy way for young men to send a message when they pull it over their heads: “Leave me alone.” Wearing a hoodie says, “I Don’t want to be bothered.”  The hoodie nation is, “telling the story of a nation of hurting boys and men.”

Bradley refers to Dr. Karen Horney, who describes  “basic anxiety.”  This is “a pervasive feeling of isolation and helplessness in a potentially hostile world.”  Bradley theorizes many boys grow up in “the parental environment that creates the conditions for children to look at their futures being afraid of uncertainty and discomfort.  Today, it’s nearly impossible to escape childhood without some level of fear about the future thanks to what children experience at home and on social media.”  The result often is moving away from people (resignation or detachment). 

Bradley believes “the crisis today for young men and boys is largely one of resignation.  Boys and men are checking out, responding to basic anxiety by withdrawing from social interactions, emotional investment, and having demands placed upon them.”  Resignation is really an act of resistance.  The resigned man according to Horney, “is a composite of self-sufficiency, independence, self-contained serenity, freedom from desires and passions, stoicism, and the idealization of noncommitment.” 

Bradley sees this crisis symbolized by “the fashion choice of pulling a hoodie over one’s head.” “The hoodie,” in Bradley’s view, “allows for easy detachment, self-sufficiency, apathy, isolation, and cynicism….”  It’s a way of saying, “I just want to be left alone to do whatever I want, on my terms.”  The hoodie is a symbol of being resigned from the expectations and demands others. 

Bradley wonders when the crisis will end for boys and men.  He ponders, “when boys and men are free to build genuine connections, develop emotional resilience and spiritual confidence, find meaning and purpose, feel needed and respected, and challenge the beliefs that underpin their resignation and detachment, we may see them moving away from checking out.”   

There will be a shift when, “apathy ends, when striving for achievement and effort returns for its own sake and to serve others and when enthusiastic goal-setting and future planning take hold.”  Then hoodies may fade.  They could be replaced by attire that  “encourages being seen, known, admired respected and sought after.”  Bradley notes that engagement is the opposite of resignation.  This is “where individuals actively participate in social interactions, pursue relationships, and invest emotionally, spiritually, and professionally.”   

Here are some takeaways from this article.  First, men need to beware of “basic anxiety” in men of all ages.  Culture is not supportive in helping  emotionally “wounded” men.  Men need to  find support groups for males.  Secondly, we each need to evaluate our level of engagement, reaching beyond our own “silos of protection.”  Thirdly, what is my equivalent of “the hoodie.”  What do I do to protect myself in an unfriendly culture.  And finally,  this article cries out for older men to be available to younger men, with  the pain and hurt they carry in their masculine souls.

Men, take Ecclesiastes 4:12 to heart.  Don’t be a “lone ranger.”  “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.  Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken”  

Daniel Taylor, while accepting the increasing  list of names given to the trends in the confusing expressions of contemporary Christian spirituality, suggests another name.  He notes, “The labels have proliferated: nones, dones, nonverts, New Atheists, unaffiliated, unchurched, dechurched, and exvangelicals, and the like.  I would like to add one more: yearners.”  Taylor chooses to see yearners not as skeptics.  “They live,” observes Taylor,” in the borderlands between committed faith and full disbelief – just inside the border or just outside, only God knows which.”  They are restless, while often enduring psychological and spiritual pain.  Taylor states, “yearners are earnestly searching for a meaningful relationship with transcendence.” He quotes Blaise Pascal, “Seeing too much to deny and too little to be sure, I am in a state to be pitied.”

Yearners fall into two categories: First, committed yearners, who affirm faith in God but struggle with doubts and secondly, uncommitted yearners, who cannot commit to faith but still believe in God.  The key component is  each category is commitment.  There will be the usual doubts.  “For many believers,” Taylor maintains, “faith is the melody and doubt, the counterpoint – sometimes harmonious and sometimes dissonant. Genuine faith is compatible with doubt and hard questions, yet it is not compatible with a lasting unwillingness to commit.”

Taylor points to,  yearner-poet Anne Sexton, as an example of a  struggling yearner.  Referring to the title of one of Sexton’s books of poetry, “The awful Rowing Toward God,” Taylor focuses on the word, “toward”- “a rowing toward God, yearning for God, and for the embrace and restoration of God, but always ‘toward.”‘ A few years before her death, she said, “There is a hard-core part of me that believes, and there’s this little critic in me that believes nothing.”   

This is a description of many spiritually minded men in our churches, struggling with the cultural label of “toxic masculinity. In their rowing toward God, men who are yearners “need to be shown understanding and compassion as well as encouragement to accept the risks and rewards of commitment to the God of the Bible.”

“The Christian church can do better by its yearners.  Taylor gives the following suggests.  First,  change the vocabulary. Doubter, “suggests a disease that can be ‘cured’ through proper ‘treatment.'”   Secondly, “before you ‘solve’ their problems, respect their stories.  Thirdly, treat a yearner as a Thomas, not as a Judas.  “Thomas stayed committed despite his understandable doubts…….A yearner seeks to be a committed Thomas.  Fourthly, “live out the Bible that you say you believe.  Consider the way you live could be the evidence of faith a yearner is seeking.”  

What can we learn from Taylor’s description of a “yearner” in relating to men and their spiritual journey.  Men who are “yearners” have a desire to know God at a soulful level, beyond  believing and doing.  Does God  really live within me or am I looking at the Father from a detached distance.  Yearner have a hunger to come home to a safe place with the Father. 

We must remember “rowing toward God” will necessarily  mean having doubts as a man makes his way home to the Father.  Men in the church will often hide their doubts out of shame or fear of rejection.  We need to honor and respect the stories of other men.  This means paying  loving attention to their stories. We need male “soul mate.” to journey with them. May the “yearners” see love in us.  “No one has ever seen God.  But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us” (I John 4:12).        

“Yet he cannot bring himself to ask, ‘Is this idol that I’m holding in my hand a lie'” (Is. 44:20 NLT).  I just read this in my morning devotions.  In this section of Isaiah (44:6-20), the prophet is depicting the foolishness of idols.  The section begins with the Lord declaring, “I am the First and the Last; there is no other God” (44:6).  God then challenges the people to prove him wrong.  “How foolish,” God observes, “are those who manufacture idols.”  Being even more direct, God says, “Such stupidity and ignorance!  Their eyes are closed, and they cannot see.  Their minds are shut, and they cannot think” (44:18).  

Do we have idols in our lifestyle that seem plain foolish in the eyes of our Lord?  Could our devotion to the use of modern idols point to our stupidity and ignorance?  Are we so blind that we cannot see what we are doing?  Are our minds so closed that we do not realize our devotion to modernity?  Could we hold in our hands an actual idol?  Could we be believing a lie when we can’t live without an i- phone?   If we think of devotion to an idol as the time we spend with it, how much we depend on it, and the almost addictive lifestyle habit the I-phone creates, then I would say “the I-Phone has become one of the chief idols in our day.”

Men, living in the modern world,  have to examine their lives, asking themselves if their I-phone have become an idol:

First and foremost, the I-phone has severely distorted our view of reality.  It can easily shape reality, from God as Creator and Redeemer of reality, to that which is formed by human beings in rebellion against the reality of a creator God.  Most damaging is how human life is portrayed.  The young, suffer the most, living with thoughts of suicide under the deception of not being created in the image of God for a loving relationship with him.

Second, simply put – because of the distortion of reality the I-phone is loaded with “misinformation.”  It is a powerful tool that “the father of lies” uses to spread his “lies.”  Jesus declared, “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.  When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8: 44). Our arch enemy will use every instrument at his disposal in his attempt to destroy humans made in the image of God.  The internet has become a primary tool of the enemy for fabricating lies.  Misinformation is really lying.  Satan will promote lying to spread his agenda of hate and anger.

Thirdly, the I-phone we all hold in our hands is a effective means of “propaganda.” It will take a concerted effort on the part of each of us not to be persuaded by the distorted views of reality on the web. Beware of how “the father of lies” can us the internet.

In Revelation, the devil is described as a dragon. the antichrist.   In Rev. 13, the spirit of the antichrist symbolized by the beast coming out of the sea having political power and the beast coming out of the earth with the ability to perform miracles. “The dragon gave the first beast his own power and throne and great authority” (Rev. 13:2). The second beast, “exercised all the authority of the first beast” (Rev.13:12). He will do “astounding miracles” by which “he deceived all the people who belong to this world” (13:14).    

Men beware of the enemy’s cunning ability to distort reality and spread lies over the web.   

The final words of Habakkuk’s prophesy are a prayer (Hab. 3:16-19).  The prophet had begun with a cry of complaint, “How long, O Lord, must I cry for help” (1:2). God then revealed to him how he was working mightily in his day in an most unexpected manner.  Habakkuk vowed to keep watch for a move of God. “I will wait to see what the Lord says and how he will answer my complaint” (2:1).

He ends by rejoicing in the Lord. “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour” (Hab. 3:19).  “Like Habakkuk, we need to start where he begins in his dialogue with God: “How long….Why? (1:2-3).  Like Habakkuk, we need to reach the place where we can quietly say, “though….Yet I will rejoice in the Lord (3:17-18)…….Questioning God is acceptable, but refusing to trust him is our downfall, for whatever the circumstances, personal grief or national disaster, the just God, the sovereign Lord gives strength to the righteous person of faith.” (BST).  

In verse 16 Habakkuk describes the impact on his awareness of God’s activity.  His heart is pounding, his lips quiver and his legs tremble.   He is deeply troubled by the prospects of God’s coming  judgement.  “I heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound; decay crept into my bones, and my legs trembled.” (3:16).  He knows he will be living in the midst of God’s judgment.  

Habakkuk’s view of the coming days had now been deeply informed by God speaking to him.  When we experience the prospects of God’s judgment on our nation, with a fervent belief for God to will bring revival, we can experience, “deep agony of spirit for the state of God’s people and of the nation, fervent intercession for the intervention of God in saving power, increasing awareness of the inevitability of judgment and of the human suffering which accompanies it, and intense person engagement with God’s word for the present situation” (BST).    

He has no idea how revival would happen.  In desperation he  cried out to God.  God gave Habakkuk assurance of his presence in the culture, but not in the way anticipated by the prophet.  Habakkuk had prayed, “In this time of our deep need, help us again as you did in years gone by.  And in your anger, remember your mercy” (3:2).  The prophet did not know how his prayer would be answered. 

He only could wait.  “Habakkuk has been transformed from an impatient prophet into a calm and expectant one.” Earlier Habakkuk had been told to wait for God’s will to be accomplished. Habakkuk had reminded God of past revivals. “I have heard of all about you, Lord. I am filled with awe by your amazing works” (3:2b).

But in the present, it did not look very hopeful. But God was at working in history to bring about his purpose, even as he has been using the Babylonians. “If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place.  It will not be delayed” (2:3b).  The prophet was encouraged by God in his waiting. “But the person in right standing before God through loyal and steady believing is fully alive, really alive” (2:4 Message).   

Men, this a vital lesson for us to learn.  As we pray and seek God’s will, it might seem that God is not at work in our culture.  God can change our attitude from lament to hopeful praise, knowing that God will at the right time bring revival.  Habakkuk ends with praise “yet I will rejoice in the Lord!  I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! (3:18).  

There are occasions on the spiritual path chosen for us, when we will slip and fall. In the well known 23rd Psalm, we’re told, “He leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul, He guides me along the right paths, for his name’s sake” (Ps. 23:1-2).  There are over 20 references to a path in the Psalms.  “You make known to me the path of life,  you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand” (Ps 16:11). In Psalm 18:36, we are given assurance, “You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping.”  One the most intriguing is Psalm 77:19, “Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.”  The path God provides is indeed secure. 

But when I  was meditating on Ps. 73, I became aware of how easy I can slip, if my focus is not on the Lord. “But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.  For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.”  The Message is blunt, “But I nearly missed it, missed seeing his goodness.  I was looking the other way, looking up to the people at the top, envying the wicked who had it made, who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world.”  The Psalmist was slipping of the path.  “The wicked get by with everything; they have it made, piling up riches.  I ‘ve been stupid to play by the rules; what has it gotten me.” (vs 12-13).

Then in the presence of the Lord, the psalmist wakes up. “Then I saw the whole picture: The slippery road you’ve put them on, with a final crush in a ditch of delusions.  In the blink of an eye, disaster!” (Ps 73:18-19 MSG)  He is transparent about his spiritual condition. “When I was beleaguered and bitter, totally consumed by envy, I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox in your very presence (v21).  But he was aware of God’s presence.  “You’ve taken my hand.  You wisely and tenderly lead me, and then you bless me.”

God was all he needed.  As a man in the fourth quarter of his life, the words of verse 26 are reassuring, “When my skin sags and my bones get brittle, God is rock-firm and faithful.”  As for those who are unfaithful.  “Those who left you are falling apart!  Deserters, they’ll  never be heard from again.”  In response to God mercy, the Psalmist after nearing slipping on the path of life, declares, “But I’m  in the very presence of God – oh, how refreshing it is!  I’ve made Lord God my home.  God, I’m telling the world what you do! ( v 28). 

Jeremiah gives us warning about those who are wicked. “‘I have seen their despicable acts right here in my temple,'” says the Lord.  “Therefore the paths they take will become slippery.   They will be chased through the dark, and there they will fall.  For I will bring disaster upon them at the time fixed for their punishment.” (Jer. 23:12 NLT).  May we not be caught on this slippery path.  

God will be there when we seem to be slipping. “Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you.  He will not permit the godly to slip and fall” (Ps 55:22 NLT).  Knowing God has rescued us, we walk in the presence of the Lord. “For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping.  So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light” (Ps 56:13 NLT). 

In early 2010 ,James Houston wrote an article entitled “The Independence Myth” with the subtitle “Only our soul friends can show us the ecology of evil within us.”  Dr. Houston asks, “Could a new understanding of such terms as spiritual direction provide pointers to what is needed in our congregational life?  Could it be that in our search for ‘revival,’ making our pastoral care more holistic would save us from what seems like a constant need to pump air into leaky tires.”  He goes on to identify three such leaky tires. Men, do we have a leaky tire.

First, he mentions, the “mistaken notion that if only we preach and teach enough the congregation will ‘know the truth.'” Instruction alone maintains  Dr. Houston, “is no substitute for the relational inspiration and the quality of life we can give each other in “soul friendships.'”  “As long as we assume that ‘talk’ automatically leads to living the gospel, there will be spiritual leakage.” 

A second leak “has to do with our confused identity as Christians.”   It is “fatal to Christian ministry to find one’s identity in being the pastor or elder or deacon, instead of being ‘in Christ Jesus.'”  Thirdly, Houston identifies the “moral leakage among us.” He sees a “nation of the morally stillborn,”  who are more like “the morally retarded,” showing little behavioral difference from the culture.   

These leakages reveal the lack of the discipline and ordering of our emotional lives, attitudes and motives,  which need to be incorporated in our teaching.  We often can be blind to the depth of original sin.  Houston observes, “If sin is self-deceiving, then I need a soul friend to give me insights into the ways I am deceived, or insensitive, or hardened by sin within me.”  A true spiritual friend helps us to see “the inner ecology of evil” in our heart.  

Dr. Houston sees the need to prioritize the “emotional education of our inner lives.”   An “over rationalized faith” can lead to more talk then walk.   ” {When} authentic spiritual guidance” notes Houston. “reveals the reality of human sin, and the relevance of Christ’s lordship and redemption to our emotions and our minds, then it will help expose the intrinsically self-deceiving character of sin in our lives.”   Those who are most rational in control of their lives, will “scorn the relevance of soul friendship.”   However, a sincere soul friend can expose our inner ecology of sin.  

Houston, asks why is prayer so neglected among believers?  His answer is intriguing.  “It reflects our general fear of intimacy, which in turn is responsible for our lack of deep friendships, and indeed for the whole undernourishment of the relational life.”  One of the aims of spiritual guidance and direction is to help with our life of prayer.  Spiritual friend can be  encouraging in our struggle with prayer.  

Finally, Dr. Houston reminds us, the life of the Christian is grounded in the mystery of the Trinity.  “We all need to see the divine Trinity as the archetypal reality of our expression of community, communion, and spiritual life together.”  Each person of the Trinity is “for-the -other.” each having “identify-in-the-other,” but yet one God.  “Spiritual  friendship means the friendship of those who are the prayerful companions of God.”  With spiritual friends we can experience “a comfortable walking with God.”

Houston warns there are no “paid friends” who are experts, rather”these qualities only appear when the Spirit of God blows softly over dry bones as the prophet saw in his vision.  And therein lies our hope.”  

My advice, find a male spiritual friend.  Make it a priority.  Don’t be a spiritual “Lone Ranger.” 

I appreciate “Breakpoint.”  I go there each day as I attempt to make sense of today’s world.   A recent article was entitled, “Ready to change the world?  Eat dinner with your family.”  The article contained an enlightening quote from Dr. Anne Fishel, the director of the Family Dinner Project, regarding the family around the dinner table. “Regular family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, and anxiety, and substance abuse, and eating disorders, and tobacco use, and early teenage pregnancy, and higher rates of resilience and higher self-esteem.” 

Even with all these benefits, only 54% of American families sit down to a daily mealtime.  The article noted many family dinner times are “constantly besieged by digital distraction, such as the smartphone and tablets.”  Neil Postman years ago, warned “(a) family that does not or cannot control the information environment of its children is barely a family at all.”  

The Breakpoint article reflected on the dramatic shift in our collective cultural imagination. Jewish political scholar, Yoram Hazony observes a cultural shift, in which it is not so much disbelief taking place, but rather of dishonoring  of our essential institutions and the traditions kept by them.  “The breakdown of the family, the compromise and collapse of our religious consensus, and the loss of civil society has contributed greatly to an uncritical acceptance of bad ideas and destructive patterns of behavior,” observes Hazony.

Hazony laments conservatives having “little intention of actually engaging in those practices worth conserving.”  Practices such as keeping the sabbath, reading scripture, attending religious services, and regular family dinners are seen more as nostalgic traditions.  Civic duty and political change needs, however, to include how we live, especially with those closest to us.  Dr. Fishel observes regular family dinners as a predictor of long-term success in family life.  For school-aged kids, frequent family mealtime is “an even more powerful predictor of high achievement scores than time spent in school, doing homework, playing sports, or doing art.”

The breakpoint article ends with this challenge and encouragement.  “It may sound too simple to be true, but it’s not.  One way that Christians can make a lasting, significant difference in politics is by protecting and cultivating the dinner table.  The future of our nation may indeed depend on whether Christians make family mealtimes, as one non-Christian sociologist has described, a “‘sacred space’…….It matters greatly who is in the White House, but it matters so much more who we are in our houses, in our houses of worship, and around our dinner tables.

I am writing this blog with many memories of having  of my family, having what was  called “the family altar.”  It centered around the table used for family meals. The suggest was for the head of the family to use  the main meal of the day as an opportunity for 1) family discussion, 2) sharing of concerns, and 3) devotions after the meal.  The table is a symbol of gathering and conversation. In my recollection of those day, I saw myself, for better or worse, to be the facilitator of devotions and conversation. 

My Testimony –  It is vital for a growing family to have a time of open and free conversation on a daily basis if at possible.  I found this commitment meant discipline and planning.  I had to “lean into” the table fellowship. showing interest and compassion for my wife and kids.  Sometimes it was difficult to “be present.” Most challenging was leading in devotions after the meal.  Looking back  I am thankful our “table talk.”

“Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table” (Ps 128:3 NLT).