The journey through my 80’s in retirement, I have found my main spiritual work has become the formation of my  own soul, that is, giving attention to the formation of my life in Christ.  I have become more comfortable resting in the mystery of my inner life, not depending on my understanding or experience.  The words of Paul in Colossians 3:3 have taken on new meaning for me.  “For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.”  As an evangelical protestant I have found both “soul food and spiritual nourishment” in the Christian spirituality of the Catholic Church, which is part of the “Great Tradition” going back to the earliest centuries of the Christian story.  I have discovered and tasted this rich spiritual vineyard, having been nourished by its rich spiritual fruit.  I thank God for this discovery. 

In these days of spiritual awareness and growth, Carmelite nun, Ruth Burrows has been a spiritual guide on my journey.  Some years ago I read her book, “Essence of Prayer.” Chapter four, “Prayer that is Jesus” made an impression in my spiritual awareness.  I found in Burrows, someone who was totally focused on Jesus.  This spoke to my Lutheran pietistic roots, with its focus on a warm hearted experience of Jesus.  She stated, “Only One has attained the Father and we can attain him only insofar as we allow ourselves to be caught up in Jesus, carried along by him.”  

She went on to say, “….we must die with Jesus: not of ourselves, or by ourselves, but ‘in him.’ I must enter into his death.  This death is a death to my self-centeredness and self-possession.  It is an ecstasy: a going right out of myself to belong to God.  This is the essence of faith.  I cannot achieve it myself; it is wrought by God and is the effect of mystical contact.  God reveals himself to the inmost depths of the self, but ‘no one can see God and live.'” Speaking of contemplation she plainly explains, “Ultimately, to be a contemplative means to  be holy, to be transformed into Jesus…..This profound communication of God cannot be known by our natural  faculties.”  Further she notes, “God’s direct communication and his transforming action must remain secret.  Only by their fruits will they be known: by a quality of life.”

One of the images from Burrows’ writing, that has been most helpful for me has been Paul’s words in Philippians 2:6-11, where the “Kenosis,” the emptying of Jesus, is described. “Who though he existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking on the form of a slave” (Phil 2:6-7).  Burrows encourages us to enter into Jesus’ experience as Jesus expresses his “yes” to the Father’s outpouring of love in and through his frail humanity.    

By faith, I find myself taking my place with Jesus on the cross.  I  continually release into Jesus all of my old nature.  As I enter into his death, I find my life being enfolded into Jesus, as He takes me to the Father.  I stand empty handed before the Father’s love.  Burrows has helped me see that I my identification with Jesus on the cross in the presence of the Father allows me to release unto him all my nothingness, poverty and emptiness.  I can experience God loving me, so that I might be able to love him, with the love I have received.    In Burrows words, “We come to Jesus with empty hands so we are able to let ourselves be loved.”