Stuart Whatley in an essay for The New Statesman entitled “The West is Bored to Death,” contends our culture is weakening not from pain or poverty, but rather from boredom. He believes, “a spiritual vacuum created by material abundance and the declining sense of meaning, has resulted in the rise of dangerous politics, aimless leisure, and hallow activism.” While the comfort and convenience of modern life has reduced physical suffering, it has helped to produce a crisis of restlessness and discontent.
Work has become detached from a sense of calling. There are fewer people rooted in community or tradition. More free time has brought about a state of boredom. This free time is often filled with digital noise, outrage cycles, and fleeting pleasures. Into this void, online movements and ideological crusades present a counterfeit purpose, creating the illusion of significance for people who feel lost, unheard, or unimportant.” Whatley notes, “when people don’t know what to do with their freedom, they become easy prey for demagogues and tribal causes.
Anthony Bradley in reviewing Whatley article, contends that the church can provide, “a context where men can build real friendships and live with direction.” rather than simple following a set of beliefs or rituals. “In a culture of loneliness and atomization,” observes Bradley, “the church gives men something they’re rarely offered elsewhere: a place to be known, needed, and included.” Generally, men have favored independence and isolation. The result is many men are left aimless and disconnected. The church is able to provide a relational context men need in our day – a circle of brothers. This offers men something beyond themselves, “it can offer rhythm, a shared responsibilities and opportunities to grow through service, reflection, and collective purpose.”
Boredom will lessen when there is friendship, shared mission and encouragement among men. Bradley makes the point of the church focusing on relating to men. “When men have other men walking beside them……it changes everything.” He strongly suggests, “Without those relationships, no amount of success, wealth, or free time will fill the void.” All the political chaos in our culture today “isn’t just ideological; it’s relational.” The church can meet this relational need among men, by providing a home, “for the men this culture has left drifting.
Peter Ostapko, founder of “Kinsmen” believes, “The overwhelming majority of men never move past the surface veneer of their friendships with others. It’s almost like we need an unlearning of what has become our definition of friendship.” Male friendship should include forgiveness, love, brotherhood and genuine affection. Ostapko thinks we are afraid “because we’re parked in guilt and shame and don’t want to be exposed.” Or we are too busy, obsessed with productivity and efficiency and the friendships we need simply take too much time and will become far too messy.
He offers this challenge: “get away from the surface veneer, stop consuming and performing. Create margin. Honor one another. Embody forgiveness. Be willing to show up for one another for long enough that’ll even warrant the need for forgiveness.” He believes “we have exchanged God’s design in brotherhood for a conditioned transaction of association that we call friendship.”
Men need a safe space with other men in order to tell their stories. Male voices, sharing the secrets of the soul, help men to unlearn many of their dysfunctional habits of being a lone ranger or a stoic personality who has lost a sense of being a soulful man. May the Lord provide each men reading this blog a group of soulful men, who want to “look under the hood.” Help us to be there for the “wounded warriors.”
.
Recent Comments