Mark Hemingway wrote a insightful article in the Federalist entitled, “We need to have a national conversation about ‘Toxic Femininity.'” While the author agrees that male violence and misogyny need to be addressed, the rise of internet culture has given rise to “toxic” masculinity. By “successfully branding men as toxic,” Hemingway point out, “no one hesitates anymore before disparaging men, whereas huge swaths of Americans are loathe to criticize feminism or make generalizations about women. Even when we can say that feminism has become, very literally toxic.”
Hemingway maintains that many women don’t fully understand that everything is not about them. “I don’t doubt,” he notes, “that years of reflective belittling of men affected the way they voted in this election.” He goes on to say, “Men between ages 18-29 shifted a staggering 30 points to the right (and, worth noting women in the same age cohort also swung right, albeit less dramatically).” But he does not think “men voted for Trump to intentionally to spite women, or that they were susceptible to political programming.”
He points out that it is the women who have been radicalized. The “discourse” has for a long time been focused on men being inherently bad. Many women have forgotten that, “men have their own needs and aspirations that don’t resolve around accepting a lowly place in an intersectional hierarchy.”
Hemingway then makes a statement, which I can embrace. “The problem is that healthy masculinity is best realized not by erasing the distinctions between men and women or catering to one over the other, but by embracing the complementarity of the two sexes. Whether they resent this being mansplaining or not, women have a responsibility to be the nurturing and moderating influence on men the same way men have a responsibility to channel their aggressive tendencies to provide for and defend women.”
He concludes by saying, “I don’t have any ideas about how to go about helping these women find peace, but the conversation we need to have can’t begin and end with threatening men, ceding to radically left-wing political demands……For now, the first step is to admit you have a problem, and toxic femininity is a real thing we’re going to have to confront and deal with before it drags the whole country over the edge.”
Again, I am politically neutral, but I do believe that this past election cycle indicated a widening gap between man and female attitudes about the sexuality, especially the younger population. I desire the courage to address the damaging effects of “toxic femininity,” while keeping a focus on the failure of men in our culture. I want to speak up for men, while admitting the toxicity of both men and women. Here is what it means for me.
First, live informed by a Christian worldview. I have assurance in being created in the image of God as a man. God declared, “Then God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them.” (Gen 5:1-2). This is God’s design for human relationships.
Secondly, my affirmation as a man, comes from my heavenly Father, As I receive assurance of my masculinity, I can walk in integrity and not apologize for being a man, be simplify myself, secure in my masculinity. This has been a lifelong journey, often very painful and confusing.
Thirdly, I will humbly walk out the implication of being a man, while acknowledging the harm done to women. Because of sin, both male and female can be “toxic.”
Fourthly, I will celebrate the need of the feminine in my journey to wholeness as a man. Thank God for my wife of 59 years.
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