The prophecy of Ezekiel contains strange visions, images, and messages that seem very remote from our every day life in America.  Ezekiel prophecy was delivered during the difficult days of Judah’s exile in Babylon (605-538 bc).  He was writing to people who would not accept that God was at work in the midst of their national disaster.  But the prophet saw in “wild and unforgettable images, elaborated in exuberant detail” (Peterson), of how God was working in the midst judgement.  

The people could not bring themselves to see what God was doing in their day.  It wasn’t only a response of denial, there were others who lived in despair.  In the devastation they lost everything.  But Ezekiel was determined to show the people that God would using the devastation for their good.  He showed them God was present, working in the wreckage and rubble, sovereignly using the disaster to create a new people of God.  There was hope beyond denial or despair.

God warned Ezekiel that the people of Judah would prefer to have life go on as usual, not caring to face the collapse of society all around them.  Ezekiel 33:30-32 paints a picture of how the people perceived the ministry of Ezekiel.  “As for you, son of man, you’ve become quite the talk of the town.  Your people meet on street corners and in front of their houses and say, ‘Let’s go hear the latest news from God.’  They show up, as people tend to do, and sit in your company.  They listen to you speak, but don’t do a thing you say.  They flatter you with compliments, but all they care about is making money and getting ahead.  To them you’re merely entertainment – a country singer of sad love songs, playing a guitar.  They love to hear you talk, but nothing comes of it.” (Message)  

When God called Ezekiel, he told the prophet, “But when all this happens – and it is going to happen! – they’ll realize that a prophet was among them” (Ezk. 33:33).  God had, however, warned Ezekiel earlier, “You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen – for they are rebellious.  But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you.  Do not rebel like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.” (Ezk. 2:8).

I picture the prophet chewing day after day on what God was saying to him.  I’m sure it didn’t fit the cultural or religious narrative of the day.  God warned Ezekiel that he lived among people who were spiritually blind and deaf. “Son of man, you are living among a rebellious people.  They have eyes to see but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear, for they are a rebellious people. (Ezk. 12:2)

Today the dominant narrative has conditioned people to have “itching ears.”  II Tim 4:3-4 warns of us a culture not wanting to hear the truth. “For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine.  Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” 

Could it be that we prefer “a cowboy singer of sad love songs, playing a guitar.”  It seems to me that our culture has been conditioned by all the “influencers” to produce many who have “itching ears” listening to countless voices, reassuring them of peace rather than a collapse  of our way of life.  Jesus warn us, “Watch out that no one deceive you” (Mk. 13:5).

Recently I read an article entitled, “The solution to the ‘Emotional Labor’ problem.” It convicted me as a husband, married to the same woman for 60 years to be more “tenderhearted.”  Paul gives this exhortation in Eph 4:32, “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Eph 4:32 NLT).  I’m also reminds in Col 3:12 of being clothed “with tenderhearted mercy.” The Message makes clear my need to be dressed in the proper wardrobe relationally with my wife. “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline” (Col. 3:12 MSG).  I wonder how many of married men need to work on their emotional wardrobe at home.  I am challenged to do so, most every day.

The article quotes a little known British singer-songwriter, Paris Paloma’s song “labor” which skyrocketed in popularity in the UK.   The lyrics include: “All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid/ Nymph, then a virgin, nurse, then a servant/ Just an appendage, live to attend him/ So that he never lifts a finger/ 24/7 baby machine/ So he can live out his picket-fence dreams/ It’s not an act of love if you make her/ You make me do too much labor.”  One review observed, “the song’s explosive, furious lyrics struck a chord with millions of young women at the end of their tether who have used the track to share their own experiences of misogyny, and the need for an avenue to direct the fury that’s been smoldering inside them.”    

It sure made me wonder if I was guilty of causing my wife to carry an “emotional load.”  Social scientist Katie Jgln is quoted, “It’s not just the amount of domestic labor that women in relationships with men have to do that exhausts us – it’s all the emotional and cognitive labor too.”  She describes the burdens of maintaining relationships with men, usually includes, “regularly checking on their day and feelings, being mindful of their changing moods and regulating your emotions accordingly, or even helping them out in their relationships with other people.”  

The assumption is that men cannot be trusted to manage their own emotions.  Men are viewed as failing to adequately process their emotions – so that women must pick up the slack.  There is a fine line when women are taught to accept as their duty from an early age – keeping the peace while not upsetting their partner.  But this “emotional monitoring” can be a tiresome effort to keep the peace in a relationship.   

The author of the article, Emily Starr Kwilinski sees a better way of dealing with the issues of “emotional Labor.”  “Rather than accepting unhealthy relationship patterns, women can choose to let go of culturally conditioned distrust.  We can put down emotional burdens that aren’t ours to carry, stepping forward into the kind of self-respect that allows men and women to relate to one another more freely.”

I thought of Paul’s words in Eph 4:2-3, “Always be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.  Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.”  

Lord, help us as men to graciously carry our emotional load in marriage and not expect our wives to “fix” what only God can heal in our broken male hearts.  Help us to be “grown men” who can face our relational faults, being humble enough to admit we fail to be “tenderhearted” because of our immature attitudes to our wives.  Paul reminds us, “He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph 6:28)