Samuel D. James has a very thoughtful article in First Things about the recent murder of 19 children and two teachers in Uvalde, Texas.  He was very perceptive when he wrote, “We have become a society filled with very young men who are ready and willing to throw away their lives and the lives of others…We are living in an age of literal “child-on-child murder.”

I have watched on TV and read articles of opinion makers, both left and right, being at a loss about what to do regarding mass shootings.   We are at an impasse on gun control.  James rightly notes, “An inability to talk about anything other than gun control threatens to deaden our lament and neutralize a vital conversation about why so many of our country’s most lost, most hateful people are boys with their whole lives ahead of them.”  

James makes a haunting observation when he points out, “Historically, mass killers were usually men who were old enough to have lived and abandoned a former life.  The current generation of shooters have had no life to abandon.  We cannot afford to stop asking why.”  

Most of these killers are just entering manhood.  They have been told they are “toxic,” with a masculinity needing to be deconstructed. They continue to lose traction in a culture focused more on helping young girls flourish.  They are loners, who can’t find traction in a culture that has called their very identity into question.  What does it mean to be a man?  These young men are not sure. 

As you might imagine, I have some passion about this subject; after all, this blog is called “The Wild Man Journey.”  Many readers have their own struggles coming to peace with their masculinity. Personally, I remember struggling mightily with my maleness in my 20’s.  Not until I was through school and had become a pastor did my soul grasp intuitively that I am a man.  Since then, I have been building on that foundation.  But I am still a work in progress.

Young men today desperately need help – not from politicians, social engineers, feminists, or even preachers.  Young men need older men coming alongside them, leading them into manhood.  As James wrote, “Many young men today are socially invisible…lacking the kind of thick attachments that make life worth living.”  How can we reach these lonely, young men?

First, be a strong advocate for the family unit, in which the father has an “exemplar” role to play.  I have said it many times in this blog, “a boy only has one father.”  If you have boys at home, take time to invest in their lives.

Second, the church needs to encourage male mentoring of young boys. It could be formal or informal.  But as a man who is trying to follow Jesus, make it your business to influence the boys and young men.  In my living space and at church, it is more informal.  But I am aware of making a difference, even if it’s only giving some attention to a young man.

Third, resist with all the grace that God gives to not become a “passive” male in America.  Male passivity leads to “absent fathers” and has contributed to a whole generation of “lost young men.”  Whatever your place in society, be proactive as an “engaged” male.

I resist all the talk about who is to blame for young men and mass murders.  I want to shout, “There is a “better way!”  That way is active, engaged men making a difference for the boys and young men around them. 

Recently, I was struck by a blog from Glenn Stanton at Focus on the Family titled “Fatherhood: The Core of the Universe.”  “Fatherhood is a deeply precious and sacred thing for the Christian,” writes Stanton. “‘Father’ is not just a role that God took on in order to tell His story.  It is who He is.  Fatherhood is the very core of the universe, because it is the very center and fount of all reality.  Fatherhood is the original and most fundamental nature of God.”

Stanton goes on to make an observation that I believe men need to hear:  “And this…is why human fatherhood is under such vicious attack today in our culture.  Why the father wound is so real and devastating.  Satan knows all too well what fatherhood represents, and he hates it.”

I embrace the eternal truth of God as Father being the core of the universe.  In my early forties I had to come to terms with God as my father.  I had a broken image of my heavenly Father because my relationship with my own dad was broken and distorted.  Through a spiritual, emotional, and mental struggle I eventually came to embrace the truth that I have a Father in heaven who delights in me.  That was revolutionary for me.

I have marveled at the truth that God is the core of ultimate reality.  While Genesis declares, “In the beginning,” there already was from eternity a Father who was love, a Son begotten in love and the Holy Spirit, the manifestation of love.  Stanton adds that “ultimate reality is not dark, void and impersonal, but intensely personal, inherently, and passionately intimate.” 

God is relational – and he desires deeper relationship with each of us.  Jesus taught us to pray, “Our Father in heaven…” Matt. 6:9).  I rejoice in Jesus words: “If you really know me, you will know my Father as well” (John 14:7).  Put simply, “God is love” (I John 4:8).  John goes on to say, “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (I John 4:10).  

So, I challenge you to be countercultural in affirming with Stanton that God is the ultimate core of reality.  Make this the basis of your life.  

First, picture God as your Father.  See yourself as a dependent child before your heavenly Father.  “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 18:3).

Second, embrace deeper relationship with your heavenly Father.  Here is a suggestion: visualize your heavenly Father “running” to you – like the father in Luke 15:20.  He is waiting for you.    

Third, be a loving earthly father, even as you discipline your own children and try to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Don’t exasperate them – and seek their forgiveness when you fail (Heb.12:5-6; Eph. 6:4; James 5:16).

Fourth, be open to being a father figure to others who have deep father wounds.  In my opinion, the greatest need in your nation is for godly fathers.   Allow Paul to be your exemplar. “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children…” (I Thess. 2:11). 

Let the words of the Psalmist encourage you: “Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord: ‘The Lord looked down from his sanctuary on high, from heaven he viewed the earth, to hear the groans of the prisoners and release those condemned to death'”  (Ps. 102:18-20).