In an article for Christianity Today, Michael Cosper writes on “the last gift my father gave me… the gift of grief… As I grieved my father, I learned to grieve other things I’d failed to grieve in the past – and somehow that grief made me feel whole.”  Translating Matt. 5:4 from the Greek as, “Flourishing are the mourners because they will be comforted,” Cosper found comfort -“and something in me began to crack open.” 

Without grief work, Richard Rohr maintains, “the soul remains self-enclosed, rattling around inside its own limited logic and disconnected from the world.”   Cosper recalls a friend asking him, “How’s your grief work going?”  When he could not answer the question, his friend asked, “Tell me about the last time you wept over any of this.” Grief can be unfinished hurt. “The grieving mode” observes Rohr, “is different from the fixing mode, the controlling mode or even the understanding mode of life.” 

Matthew 5:48 is frequently translated, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” However, biblical scholar Jonathan Pennington argues that “perfect” relates to “shalom” which bestows the peace of God. He points out, “Shalom…is active.  Shalom is a sense of wholehearted relationship with God and an awareness of the goodness in his care and rule of the world.” 

“Translating telios as ‘perfect’ makes Matt. 5:48 an ethical command, while rendering it as ‘shalom’ invites us into wholehearted relationship with God and rest in him. It’s a vision of grace.”  “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up.  You’re kingdom subjects.  Now live like it.  Live out your God created identity.  Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” (Matt. 5:48  MSG). 

“Am I grown up?”  Do I face my inner wounds and pain as a mature man in Christ, or do I still want to cast blame and see myself as a victim?  I can get easily stuck in an inner cave of self-pity and anger. I can feel sorry for myself and blame God for not acting on my behalf.  It’s hard to admit; but I act like a “spoiled brat” at times.  I need to grow up as a man, even at my age.  

 I was helped years ago with this insight from Richard Rohr:  “Many men think they are angry, but most male anger is really hidden sadness.”   Tasting sadness is part of the grieving process.  We open our hearts to the sadness that has been buried for years.  We come to peace and rest in him.  

Here are some insights to consider as you do your own grief work:   

First, be convinced that the broken and marginalized will flourish in the kingdom of God.  You might be halfway through the tunnel.  In your pain and shame, you are tempted to turn back, denying the reality of wounded soul.  No!  Keep pressing on.  This implies vulnerability, humility, and surrender.  You can’t fix your soul sickness or sadness.  Allow Jesus to carry you to the Father.

Second, resist all efforts to put yourself in the “church” box of the strong, spiritual, self-made man.  Remember that Jesus said, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3).  Admit that you can’t fix yourself.  Surrender to your loving Father in childlike faith.

Third, remember that it is OK to grieve as you process your pain.  I have had to do it many times.  Get it out. You have carried it too long.   Don’t hold back; ask God to be merciful, as his wayward child returns home.  

Jorden Peterson is making waves again in the Evangelical community.  He recently published a message on You Tube entitled “Message to the Christian Churches.”  Peterson has gotten a lot of attention among evangelicals, especially in his appeal to young men.  He want us to be aware of the needs of men, warning us that they are facing an unparalleled demoralization due to the West’s weaponizing guilt regarding males. 

He is forceful in his challenge. “Put up a billboard saying “young men are welcome here”.…..Ask more, not less of those you are inviting.  Ask more of them than anyone ever has.  Remind them who they are in the deepest sense and help them become that.”  He is blunt when he says, “Attend to some souls.  That’s what you’re supposed to do.  That’s your holy duty.  Do it now, before it’s too late.  The hour is night.”

I for one have an appreciation for Peterson.  He has received his fair share of criticism because he has not as of yet become a believer.  Referring to Genesis, He tell the church how to speak to young men. “The Christian church is there to remind people, young men included, perhaps even first and foremost, that they have a woman to find, a garden to walk in, a family the nurture, an ark of build, and land to conquer, and a ladder to heaven to build.”  I only question the idea of a ladder to heaven.  Our message needs to be grace filled.  

When I watch his video and read some of the articles in response, I kept thinking of Isaiah prophecy regarding Jesus. “But he won’t yell, won’t raise his voice; there’ll be no commotion in the streets.  He won’t walk over anyone’s feelings, won’t push you into a corner.  Before you know it, his justice will triumph; the mere sound of his name will signal hope, even among far-off unbelievers” (Matt. 12:19-21 -MSG). 

In my view, Peterson is like a compassionate father figure, desperately trying to wake up the church, to welcome young men, who have lost their way in the midst of the cultural cross currents that have vilify the masculine.  Peterson has stood up to an over -bearing woke culture, and is now saying, “come home” to young men.  The church as a caring, open-minded and affirming community of folks who want to live out the reality of Genesis, can make a difference in the lives of lost young men.

But it will not be easy.  it will be messy, when young men, check out “The Good News” of the kingdom and its implications for our day.  What will it take?  Came we meet some of the challenges? Are we willing as followers of Jesus, to plant the Christian flag in the midst of almost demonic resistance, and say,  “At the beginning the Creator ‘make them male and female'” (Matt. 19:4).  God’s plan from the beginning is the reality we embrace. 

All other opinions are asking men to live in unreality. They are being asked to deny their identity as men, and settle for a patchwork of woke ideology, which imprisons men in a false reality.  It will not stand the tests that are about to come upon our whole nation.    

Men need to here it straight, with no apologies.  They will need strong, affirming communities to nurture their souls.  As Peterson said, “Attend to some souls….That’s your holy duty.  Do it now, before it’s too late.”  I for one, take Peterson’s message to heart.  We can learn a lot from the common grace, as expressed by the likes of Jordan Peterson.