“The Lesbian Project” is the title of an enlightening article in the Daily Citizen. I am more of a simple, relational guy. Sometimes it is hard for me to cut through the “dense smog” of confusion present in the “gender wars.” This article helped clear up some of the confusion for me.

The Lesbian Project was founded by a group of influential women in the U.K. Their number one principle was to “focus on same-sex attracted females.” They are very concerned about the strong division within the “LGBTQ community,” stating that “only females can be lesbians, in virtue of their biological sex.” They are reacting to the T and Q of the LGBTQ definition by opposing trans ideology.

In a report entitled, “Lesbian Erasure in the UK,” the Lesbian Project explained that the erasure was coming not from conservatives but from the Ts and the Qs. The project explains, “According to the new and approved transactivist doctrine, being a lesbian is not officially connected to facts about biological sex, nor the sex to which you are attracted. Rather, it’s believed that being a lesbian is an identity also open to males who identify as women and are attracted to those who identify as women.”

“Even though they are represented by the first letter in their alphabet train,” notes the Daily Citizen, “the Ls know they have long been relegated to the back of the bus by gay patriarchy.” The Project believes that “as the LGBT+ rainbow expands, lesbians have fallen to the back of the queue.” This is “lesbian erasure.” Therefore, the group announced, “The Lesbian Project is seeking an amicable divorce from our gay brothers” and doing so “will put us back on the map” in our own community.

This one observation from the Daily Citizen is something men need to ponder, as it was noted, “They believe objective womanhood is worth fighting for.” The Project was formed, “to fight GTQ patriarchy.” The article ends with this comment: “These women are concerned about being publicly demeaned, doxxed, canceled and physically attacked… It is certainly not all kumbaya under the rainbow flag, and The Lesbian Project wants us to know why.”

What a challenge this is for men. Do we believe objective manhood is worth fighting for? What is our posture when “toxic” masculinity is being shouted from the rooftops. We read in II Cor. 10: 3-5 that “the tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God’s tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.” Here are three ways we can respond as men:

First, settle in your mind and heart, God created you as a unique male: “So God created man in his own image. In the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). Celebrate, be grateful, and embrace being a man, not caving into the deception of modern culture.

Second, celebrate women. Our complimentary image of God is found in the female. Women complete men. Work on your relationship with women, beginning with your wife. “Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another” (Eph. 5:21 – Message)

Third, your marriage is a “great mystery.” It is meant to be “an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one” (Eph. 5:32 NLT). Accept the challenge to fight for your marriage. The enemy is out to destroy marriage and family.

Rollo Tomassi, a podcaster and writer has been concerned about the crisis in masculinity for years, maintains that modern psychology is failing men because “modern psychology is by women for women.”  Appearing on Dr. Phil, he said, “Since the start of the Sexual Revolution, we’ve told men to ‘man down‘; yet modern psychology’s prescription for men is ‘man up,’ but only insofar as it benefits women’s interests.”  He maintains that all proposed male solutions are “gender-swapping female solutions.” This phenomenon does not allow for “a uniquely male solution largely because to do so would mean acknowledging fundamental differences in men’s evolved psychologies.”  

Men learn from other men how to relate as men and to “act like men” (I Cor. 16:13). Our mothers and other women can only take us so far.  Men need to hear, feel, and experience the male mode of feeling and grief from other men.  After all, we are different from women.  But like many men, l learned a mostly female mode of relating and dealing with pain (my mother’s influence and being a heart-type guy).  Men need an “AA” type of small group where men can share their pain as men.  What is said often at an AA meeting is, “You are as sick as your secrets.” This is a truth that most men can only explore with other men. Why?  Because the feminine voice in culture is too often screaming for men to “man up” from a feminine perspective. 

Often when modern psychology promotes “positive masculinity” some form of “negative” masculinity must also exist.  But it needs to be shouted from the rooftops of every home that being a man is not in itself “toxic.”  The American Psychological Association claims there are no major differences between men and women.  The AMA now considers traditionally masculine qualities such as stoicism and competitiveness as psychologically harmful to men.  Be aware, modern psychology, in general, is failing men.  

Recently, the Second Gentlemen Doug Emhoff, the husband of Vice President Kamala Harris, was interviewed on a major news outlet talking about too much “toxicity” in masculinity.  He vowed, “I am going to continue to use this platform every time I get to speak out against this toxic masculinity that is out there.”  He believes, “we’re kind of confused what it means to be a man, what it means to be masculine.”  

In my opinion, he did very little to help men in their confusion.  “You’ve got this trope out there where you have to be tough, and angry, and lash out to be strong.  I think it is just the opposite. Strength is how you show your love for people.  Strength is how you are for people and how you have their back and how you stick up for other people and pushing up and out against bullies.”  Again, we find in the Second Gentlemen’s perspective the unconcluded struggle between being tough and tender.  A man can be strong, determined, and resolved without being angry or vindictive.  But how can he?

Here is my simple advice: First, allow God to fashion your unique masculine soul.  Be open to God opening the flood gates of your soul.  Allow yourself to grieve your past, while giving yourself hope for tomorrow.  Healing of the soul takes time.

Secondly, allow God to shape your inner life to be a more compassionate, loving, sensitive man.  But this is vital: do it from your masculine soul, not shaped by outside feminine voices.  

Thirdly, build intimate fellowship with “soulful” men – men with open hearts.  Drink in the healthy masculine from other men.