This headline caught my attention: “NH Man Searches Through 20 Tons of Trash to Find Wife’s Wedding Ring: ‘I Would Do it a Thousand Times.'” Here is what happened: Kevin Butler lost the rings after his wife cleansed and then wrapped her wedding rings in a napkin to dry. He tossed the napkin in the trash and took the bag to the trash transfer station. When he realized what had happened, he rushed back to the transfer station, where the employees agreed to help him hunt for the rings among 20 tons of trash.

Using an excavator they soon found a clue. Knowing that the ring was in a bag with celery stalks, they found a stalk sticking out the side of a bag. At first, they did not see the rings. But by chance, they found the napkin with the rings inside at the bottom of the bag. Butler remarked, “Wouldn’t recommend anyone else do it. But you know, to get the rings back, I would do it a thousand times over.” Butler bought the staff pizza for their help. The foreman at the transfer station shared that the exact same situation had happened before, and that they were able to find the ring wrapped in a napkin in the midst of the trash.

I have made it a habit to look for the wedding ring on a man’s left hand, especially if we are just being introduced to one another. It tells me a lot. Of course, it lets me know that a man is married. If he does not have his ring on his finger and he says he is married, I begin to wonder about his commitment to his wife.

As a Pastor I have had the joy of officiating in almost 300 weddings. Many of those I united as husband and wife have had long and blessed marriages. Sadly, others have not endured the trials of their relationship together. Every one of the couples I have married exchanged rings. The ring is symbolic of the covenant made before God and others. It should not be taken lightly. I declared to each of those I married, “Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder.”

After a couple declared their intention to be faithful to each other as long as they live, I then had them exchange rings. The ring was put on the finger of each one as a sign of their commitment to the other. They said publicly before God and all gathered, “I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.”

Men, that wedding ring is important. It tells the world that you are committed to your wife for a lifetime. You are declaring that you are truly “a one-woman man.” Unless it is for health reasons, you need to display your wedding ring on your left hand. Mine has been on my hand for 57 years. I have never removed it, except during one marriage ceremony, when I had to loan my ring to the groom in order to complete the ceremony.

That ring is also a reminder of your commitment to God. You are committed to be faithful to your wedding vows in all the circumstances of your life. For a man to take off his wedding ring can be seen as a lack of fidelity. Remember the words of Proverbs 5:15 and 18: “Drink water from your own well – share your love only with your wife.” “Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth.”

This is the title of a blog by Jonathan Rogers. German philosopher Martin Heidegger once wrote of “Geworfenheit” or thrownness. “You’re thrown into the world, into a particular set of circumstances not of your choosing, with a few tools thrown into your toolbox (also not of your choosing), and you start figuring out how to make a life – hopefully with the help of some wise guides, though, again, many of those guides won’t be people you identified or sought out exactly. Many of them were thrown your way too.”

Rogers then quotes James K. A. Smith: “Thrownness is not a negative thing.” We can regret our thrownness, resent it, or feel shame about it.  Or we can take it as a gift and a guide to our calling: “We are bundles of potentiality, but the possibilities are not infinite. We are thrown into a time and place, thrown into a story that is our history, and these form the horizons of possibility for us… That is not a limitation as much as a focusing, a gifted specificity.  This corner of earth I’ve been given to till. These neighbors I am called to love. These talents I’m exhorted to fan into flame. This neighborhood in which to birth a future.”

At my age, I really identify with the word thrownness.  I have been reading I and II Timothy.  I am impressed by how Paul the Apostle encourages young Timothy in his thrownness – that is, his unique call to carry on the ministry. “Here’s a word you can take to heart and depend on: Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners. I’m proof – Public Sinner Number One – of someone who could never have made it apart from sheer mercy” (I Tim. 1:15 – Message).  Never forget the mercy of God on your journey. None of us deserve mercy, but God is merciful and gracious. 

Paul expresses how God’s grace has carried him: “You take over. I’m about to die, my life an offering on God’s altar. This is the only race worth running. I’ve run hard right to the finish, believed all the way. All that’s left now is the shouting – God’s applause!  Depend on it, he’s an honest judge. He’ll do right not only by me, but by everyone eager for his coming” (II Tim 4:6-8 – Message).  Personally, I have lived through a lot of thrownness in my life.  I am so grateful to have gotten through this far and plan to finish strong. 

Paul reminds Timothy that God confirmed his calling through all his thrownness:  “And the special gift of ministry you received when I laid hands on you and prayed – keep that ablaze! God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible” (II Tim.1:7 – Message).  He also encourages Timothy to remember how God has gifted him.  “And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed – keep that dusted off and in use” (I Tim. 4:14 – Message).

Finally, Paul encourages Timothy to “hang in” there, fight, and not give up:  “Run hard and fast in the faith.  Seize the eternal life, the life you were called to, the life you so fervently embraced in the presence of so many witnesses” (I Tim. 6:12 – Message).  Men, my testimony in the fourth quarter of my life is this: God can take every part of our life and make something out of it all.  Let go – and let God use your thrownness.