Category: Brother Al (Page 31 of 68)

Merriam-Webster announced recently that its Word of the Year is “they.”  The company, which publishes dictionaries and reference books said that online searches for the word increased 313% in 2019 over the  previous year.  The plural pronoun “they” according to the company, may now be used as a singular pronoun.  

Merriam-Webster also stated that “they” should be used for individuals who are “gender-nonconforming” or “nonbinary” and prefer the plural pronoun to refer to themselves, instead of “he” or “she.”  

As a number of observers have noted, Merriam-Webster has acquiesced to a gender theory which says that there are multiple “genders” rather than two sexes; that people may shift from one sex to become the other; and that gender is an internal sense, rather than a biological reality.

Men, when our culture loses a sense of transcendence, in which life has its source in a supreme creator, who created us in his image, our existence is reduce to a small horizon and narrow space.  We are then limited in making sense of our very personhood. We live with an enclosed self.  We don’t know who we are.  We then come to the place today where an individual human being is to be addressed as “they” since they claim to be “nonbinary.” 

It is vital that you get your basic biblical anthropology  straight.  Are you a new man in Christ, created in God’s image to live in fellowship with your heavenly Father and others?  Or are you something else?  Do you know who you are in Christ?  

I intend to stand firm as a male, affirmed in my masculinity, by a heavenly Father who delights in me.  I am a “new man” in Christ. “What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons.  They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone.  A new life has begun” (II Cor. 5:17).    

Again we have to go back to Genesis.  “When God created people, he made them in the likeness of God.  He created them male and female, and he blessed them and called them ‘human'” (Gen 5:1-2).  We were not created as “they” but as a person in relationship to the creator.  We also rejoice in being made new in Christ. 

I want to  give you the following quote from Fenelon.  He is celebrating his new life in Christ.  “The first of God’s gifts, the foundation of all others, is what I call self.  He gave me myself.  To him I owe not only all I have, but all I am……the mind of Man can not understand the infinity of such a gift.  The God Who made me, gave me myself, the self I love …..I owe to His goodness, and that God should be in me and I in Him, seeing I derive myself from Him.  Without Him I should not be myself, without Him I should not have the self I love nor the power of loving it, neither the will to love nor the thoughts whereby I know myself.  All that I have and am is given me”

It is a profound reality, when a man, comes to the awareness that God love him as he is in Christ, allowing him to love himself, to love God in return, as well as others with the love that God has for him.  What is so needed today in our culture are men, who know they are loved by God, who can love others with the love of Christ. 

Sometime ago I came across this quote from Francois Fenelon, a spiritual writer and guide from the 17th century. “Volunteer for your own death, for God will only accomplish his work to the extent that you let him.”  I don’t know about you, but I don’t like the thought of  volunteering for death, even if it means spiritual death.   My old nature is so familiar.  I’m comfortable with who I am, especially my “religious” self.       

But the Lord knows what needs to be brought to the cross. Like Fenelon, I cringe at “the very thought of the cross coming to work in me.”  The Lord seeks out and desires to destroy the roots of self-love within my soul.  The deeper the roots the more His work is done in secret.  But I will feel the pain of something being uprooted.    

 The process of bearing the cross, that is, being crucified, can is slow and painful.  I will need to embrace the cross repeatedly for the same pattern of sin in my life. The deeper and more hidden a pattern of sin, the more painful it can be.  I simply don’t want to give up and die.  But God is patient in the process.

The process of bearing the cross and being crucified is  continuous.  Jesus made this clear when he said, “If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy to being mine” (Matt 10:38).  Taking up the cross and following means a willingness to accept the work of the cross in our lives.   

The Amplified translation of Gal 2:20 puts it in stark words.  “I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.”  Men there is no instant fix for getting rid of those “ingrained patterns of sin.”  When God deals with our old nature, Fenelon give fair warning, “He heads straight for the center of all that you hold most dear.”  

Again listen to Fenelon. “Often when  you suffer, it is the life of your self-nature that cause you pain.”  But Fenelon reminds us, “When you are dead you do not suffer.”  So guess what!  When you and I feel the pain, we are still holding on to our old patterns.  

“Death,” notes Fenelon, “is only painful to you when you resist it.”  I am at the place in my journey where I am willing to accept the pain.    His work in me is done beyond my understanding, in secret, so that it is all his work and not my attempts at self improvement 

What I especially don’t like about volunteering for my own death, is the humiliation of being aware of my faults.  What Fenelon observes is sure true for me. “The pain you feel at your own imperfection is worse than the faults themselves.”  

As you read this blog, you might be struggling with a hidden sin pattern in your life or you might be living with a kind of heaviness of spirit.  Is the Lord asking you to volunteer anew for your death.  Men there is no way around the spiritual reality that our walk with God is one of death and being raised to new life.  What God has for you is much better then what you strive to do on your own for him. 

Once a month Judy and I go to a prayer meeting.  The folks who attend are all interested in the healing ministry, which would include inner healing.  As Connie, the presenter was sharing about inner healing of family wounds, I suddenly became aware of my father, exposing as sense of inner loneliness and emptiness.  

The thought came to me, “my Dad left me orphaned as a boy.”  I thought that I had dealt with most of the wounds in my soul regarding my Dad.  A wound, which I was unaware of, was nowbeing exposed that had laid dormant in my soul. Let me give you fair warning men.  Some of the brokenness you  experience goes deep when it comes to a “distant” father.  

My father had his own abandonment issues.  I identify with Paul Auster, when he writes about wanting his father’s attention. “It was not that I felt he disliked me.  It was just that he seemed distracted, unable to look in my direction.  And more the anything, I wanted him to take notice of me.”  I know now that my father was not able or capable of reaching me at a soulful level. 

At my age, I have been going through some new and deeper times of loneliness.  Even though I have the most understanding and loving wife, I have struggled with loneliness.  It is hard to admit my sense of feeling abandoned.

My experience at the prayer meeting brought it all to the surface.  My father himself struggled with loneliness.  I sensed that when I visited him in his last days in a nursing home.  Now that I am older and in a sense, “set apart” because of age, I lament the feeling of loneliness.   Could it be true, when Auster observes, “You do not stop hungering for your father’s love even after you are grown up.”

I have been processing these feeling of  loneliness, due to my sense of being abandoned by my father.  I am reminded of Thomas Keating’s astute observation: “God simply moves downstairs, so to speak, and waits for us to come and join him.”  So what am I doing to meet God “downstairs.”

First and foremost, I confess and affirm that I have not been abandoned by my heavenly Father.  Jesus tells us, “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you” (John 14:18)  Jesus has come to bring me home.  He knows the way home for me and my loneliness.

Secondly,  my experience was exposing a deep wound that I never realized was present in my story.  I have to process the wound.  Without feelings of self-pity, I ask the Lord for guidance, so that I might be specific in praying through this wound. It has not been easy – the wound goes deep.

Thirdly, I have in my wife, a competent spiritual guide, who can listen to my deepest thoughts and feelings, while giving me the clarity I need to heal the wound. 

Finally, when these feelings of loneliness and abandonment surface, I have a place to bring them.  I lift them up, and take them to Jesus, asking him for for three things: 1) the grace to surrender such deep feelings to him, 2) strength to want to grow in my relationship to Jesus and 3) the patience to allow him to do the work within me soul. 

I would like to introduce you to the J-curve. I read about this concept in a review of new book by Paul Miller, entitled “The J-curve,” with the subtitle “dying and rising with Jesus in everyday life.” I have not read the book as of now, but I sure like the thesis Miller presents. “It’s simple, it’s brilliant: The Christian life is shaped like a capital J.  You descend on the left and rise on the right.” 

Miller writes, “If rising is embedded in dying, then not running from the customized dying that God permits in our lives is essential for resurrection.”  Many years ago, when I was a young Christian, trying to find my way as a follower of Jesus, I was struggling with how I might be able to live a Christian lifestyle, after living for myself, during my first eighteen years.    

I remember being fully committed.  I was all in for Jesus. So the issue was not my desire to follow Jesus.  The problem was my old nature, what Richard Foster calls “habitual patterns of sin.”  I was new believer, who had a lot to overcome.  I remember reading a small book entitled “The Calvary Way.”  The author talked about being broken before the Lord.  I was convicted as I read.

For the first time in understanding my new life in Christ, I realized that it would be a matter of death to my old self.  So the idea of “dying to self” and then “being raised with Christ” has remained an important foundation to my spirituality.  “You see” writes the author Roy Hession, “the only life that pleases God and that can be victorious, is His life…..we can never be filled with His life, unless we are prepared for God to bring our life constantly to death.”

Some have called it “the crucified life.”  Being asked to die is not something we men are naturally willing to embrace.  But that is exactly what the J-curve entails.  Remember men, Jesus calls us to come to him and die to ourselves.  “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambitions shoulder your cross and follow me.  If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it.  But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life” (Matt. 16:24-26)

Like I said, being asked to die and give your life to another is not easy.  But this is the way of  Jesus.  Like me, you will have your ups and downs with dying and being raised up.  I appreciate Miller’s illustration of  “the trapdoor.”  

We are not able to control the dying and the rising.  Miller says of himself, “I’ve had some long times when I was sure I was at the bottom.  I could begin to see some hope coming, and then there was a trapdoor, and I went down again.  Sometimes I’ve gone through a series of trapdoors and I keep thinking I’ve bottomed out.”

Take it from me, you are going to go through trapdoors when you least expect them.  You will know when you have fallen into one of them.  It is a dark, lonely space, void of peace, with little hope on the horizon.  Don’t fight it.  Surrender and die to your “selfish ambitions” and cry out to Jesus for mercy.  Remember to keep looking up and out as you cry for help.  He will hear you and rescue you.   

This is another blog about the ministry of Zach Williams at Harding prison.  As I watch the video of Zach singing “At the Table,” it was moving to watch men in prayer and worship.  I couldn’t help but wonder how these hardened inmates were processing the invitation to come to the table.  The implication was that Jesus welcomes each one of them just the way they are. 

I was drawn to the story of Zacchaeus, the tax collector, in Luke 19:1-ff.  Being a short man and a disliked as a tax collector, Zacchaeus had a rather low view of himself when it came to being in the presence of Jesus.  He climbed up into a tree to just get a longing glimpse of Jesus as he passed by.

To his surprise, Jesus stops, look up at poor Zacchaeus and said, “Zacchaeus, hurry down.  Today is my day to be a guest in your home.”  We read, “Zacchaeus scrambled out of the tree, hardly believing his good luck, delighted to take Jesus home with him” (Luke 19:5-6 MSG). 

The locals could not grasp this kind of openness displayed by Jesus.  “Everyone who saw the incident was indignant and grumped, ‘What business does he have  getting cozy with this crook?'” (Luke 19:7 MSG).  Remember a performance orientated culture will never begin to comprehend the generosity and compassion of the love of God.

Zacchaeus is overwhelmed by the presence of Jesus.  It made him what to  change his ways.  Jesus tells us, “Today is salvation day in this home!  Here he is: Zacchaeus, son of Abraham!  For the Son of Man came to find and restore the lost” (Luke 19:9-10 MSG).  Zacchaeus was not Jewish, yet Jesus welcomed him as a son of Abraham.  His whole identity as a man was changed in that moment.

You might feel like Zacchaeus as you read this post.  Jesus is inviting you to the table.  Here is the words to the refrain of Zack’s song: “So bring it all to the table/There’s nothing He ain’t seen before/For all your fear, all your sorrow and your sadness/There’s a Savior and He calls/Bring it all to the table.”

I remember a table I used to sit at, way back when I was a young pastor in Babbit, Minn.  It was at the home of Woody Uppman.  Often on my day off, I would just go and hang out with Woody.  He was a retired miner who accepted me just as I was.  I felt like I could share my real self with Woody.  I was able to go back to my work as a parish pastor, better prepared, because Woody made me feel like I could do the job. There was always room at Woody’s table for a insecure, arrogant young man like myself.

Maybe you don’t have a older father figure, with whom you can just share your heart.  But just remember Jesus invites you to the table.  Come as you are, not as you think you should be.  

My advice is simple;  it comes from years of trying to impress Jesus.  Be real and honest not only  with your thoughts but your emotions and desires as well.  He already know them all.  Just tell it to Jesus. Then learn to be still and silent so you can hear him give you the words of affirmation.  You are his beloved, simply because he loves you for who you are and not what you do.  

Remember!  This could be for you today!  There is room at the table for you.  Jesus is waiting for you to come home.  

At the recent CMA Awards, where women of country music were honored and highlighted, Dolly Parton was a central part of the evening, helping to host the event.  Dolly took the event to a higher level later in the evening with some faith-filled songs, teaming with Christian artists For King and Country and Zach Williams.  In the duet Parton, a country western icon, sang at the top of her voice “There was Jesus. (amazing) After the medley was done, Parton declared, “Praise God!” (Wow)

I write about this event for several reasons.  First, I like country music.  I am personally moved by the duet.  Secondly, it is amazing to me how God is able to brake through the hard crust of modern secularism, with the message of love and grace.  Thirdly, I want share some thoughts from the duet with Zach Williams, entitled “There was Jesus.”

Men, I strongly suggest that you watch Zach Williams’ concert at Harding prison.  I was moved to tears as I listened and watch Williams minister to hardened prisoners.  He is the real deal in my opinion.  His soulfulness connected with those inmates.  Watch it for yourself.

Here are some of the lyrics that speak to the journey of men in our day.  “Every time I tried to make it on my own/ Every time I tried to stand and start to fall/ And all those lonely roads that I have traveled on/ There was Jesus.”  Men, whatever detour you’ve taken, whatever ditch you might be in, you can be assured that Jesus, stand there waiting for you to look to him.  Hear Jesus say, “Take courage!  It  is I. Don’t be afraid” (Mark 6:50).  In the midst of the storm “There was Jesus.” 

Here’s some more lyrics. “When the life I built came crashing to the ground/ When the friends I had were nowhere to be found/ I couldn’t see it then but I can see it now/ “There was Jesus.”  Men, like myself, you will crash and feel all alone.  But hear his words to you, “But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).  There was Jesus

Finally, the refrain, “In the waiting, in the searching/ In the healing and the hurting/ like a blessing buried in the broken pieces/ Every minute, every moment/ Where I’ve been and where I’m going/ Even when I didn’t know it or couldn’t see it/ There was Jesus.” 

Today, the words of this refrain might speak directly to your situation.  In the midst of your searching and hurting, “like a blessing buried in the broken pieces” you might not feel it or understand it, but his presence is with you to care for you. 

I speak from recent personal experience in my own journey.  My best advice, look up in faith into the face of Jesus (not focused on you) and cry out for him to be merciful to you as wandering and hurting sinful man.  He will meet you at your point of need.  Remember “There was Jesus.”  We read in Ps. 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.” 

Again, do yourself a favor and go to the YouTube videos of Zach’s ministry at Harding prison.  You will be moved to tears.  I believe the guy is anointed to speak to the broken hearts of men.  He is singing from a deep place in his own soul, that connects with the hurts of men.  He is not niece and fluffy.  He is deep, sincere, and passionate about exposing hurt and pain and bringing them to Jesus.  

Recently John MacArthur accused the Southern Baptist Convention of theological error, in allowing women preachers to speak at the SBC’s 2019 annual meeting.  “When you literally overturn the teaching of Scripture to empower people who want power, you have given up biblical authority,” said MacArthur.

On panel discussion after the convention, a moderator asked MacArthur and his fellow panelists to offer their gut reaction to one – or two-word phrases.  When the moderator said “Beth Moore,” the female preacher who had spoken at the convention, MacArthur replied, “Go home.”  Of course, it created a fire storm on the internet.

“Go home” implying that a women place should be in the home.  But is  this comment can apply to men as well.

Jen Pollock Michel got me to thinking about this matter of the home.  Michael writes, “In the Bible, home has never primarily been a woman’s place…..Any church teaching that solely consigns women to the responsibilities of home proves exegetically paper-tin.”

She reminds us that, “Prior to the Industrial Revolution in the West, the spheres of work and home were not as discretely divided as today, with men leaving to earn the bacon, women staying to fry it. Homes were public places of industry and business as well as private residence.”

I have met men who either grew up on a farm or whose father ran a business out of the home, allowed the children to work right along side of their father  This gave them a real sense of who dad was, as he related to them throughout the day.  They got a good dose of Dad, for good and bad.

That is missing in our day.  Dads go of the work and are away from the home for much of the time.  Moms then fill in much of the home space for dad.  It is generally accepted that the Industrial Revolution changed the perception of the father’s role in the family. He was now the “bread winner,” while Mom stayed at home and nurtured the children.  Dad was absent.

Men, I remember well the time in my early marriage when I had no concept of “being home” as a young pastor. I was gun-ho on saving the world and being good to other folks.  But I forgot my home.  It was not my first priority.  This was in the late 60’s and early 70’s.  But when I was exposed to the clear teaching of Scripture on order in the home, the light came on for me.  

I was deeply convicted.  I was not loving my wife the way Jesus loved the church and I was not being the one and only father to my children.

So in my heart and mind, I had to “Go Home.”  Or as Focus On The Family used to say, I needed to “turn my  heart toward home.”  I needed to first get my convictions straight and then practice those convictions.  

Men, I realize that you can’t be at home similar to the good, old days.  That is unrealistic.  But, and hear me when I say, in your heart and mind you need to “go home.”

This is what it meant for me.  First, home was my greatest priority.  Second, I had to demonstrate this in my lifestyle. (Being there emotionally was the hardest for me).  Third, this meant loving my wife the way Jesus loved the church and being emotionally and physically involved with my three kids.  Fourthly, repenting of my failure to be at home emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Finally, humbly asking the Lord to help me “Stay at Home,” 

How would you respond to this question? The sentence above is the subtitle from a chapter on fathers in James Smith’s new book on Augustine, entitled “On the Road with Saint Augustine.”  Smith described Augustine’s spiritual life as that of being on a journey back home to the Father.

 Many men are on the road looking for their fathers. It could very well be the oldest story.  “You do not stop hungering for your father’s love,” Paul Auster notes, “even after you are grown up.”  Speaking of his father, Auster laments, “It was not that I felt he disliked me.  It was just that he seemed distracted, unable to look in my direction.  And more than anything, I wanted him to take notice of me.” 

The description of a father being distracted and not noticing is something I felt very deeply as a young boy.  I was never fathered by my Dad, even though he cared about me and was a good provider.  I longed for my father’s embrace.  I never was able to receive his approval of myself as a man.   

Smith quotes Thomas Wolf ‘s observation about our search, “….the deepest search in life…the thing that in one way or another was central to all living was man’s search to find a father, not merely the father of his flesh, not merely the lost father of his youth, but the image of a strength and wisdom external to his need and superior to his hunger, to which the belief and power of his own life could be united.”

As a young man, I had no idea that I was searching for the approval of my heavenly Father.  To me, God, the Father was distant, viewing me as incapable of his approval.  Thus, my hyper performance orientation, even as a pastor.  It took some time on the journey before I know that I was being embraced by my heavenly Father, who was “strength and wisdom” exterior to my needs.

Augustine, became known as the doctor of grace, because Jesus brought him to a father who came looking for him.  That looking is grace. As Augustine searched on the road, he was found by his father and brought home. 

At the heart of the Good News, told to us by Jesus, is the wonderful truth that speaks to the deep hunger for a caring father; one who we can came to know and be loved by.  We can celebrate the news that we have a father who comes looking for us, who adopts us, who chooses us and “who sees you a long way off and comes running and says, ‘I’ve been waiting for you.'”

Men on the road looking for an absent, distant father, like myself, are covering up a deep desire.  It is that of a father, who would come looking for them.  The arrow of hunger Smith notes is, “reversed and the father would return.”  

Could some man reading the blog today sense the brokenness and loneliness of their journey, as a need to be embraced because of a father hunger that goes much deeper then words can express.

This father hunger, when embraced, helps us embrace a deeper longing to be seen and known by the One who made us. 

Men, drink deeply from this great quote by Augustine.  “To be comforted by the word of God’s grace unto the hope of pardon of our sins is to return after a long journey to obtain from a father the kiss of love.” 

“Healthy masculinity is not natural,” notes Glenn Stanton.  “It must be constructed.”  This is not the case with a woman.  “Her biological make-up ensures the girl will more naturally grow into a healthy woman.  As her body matures, internally and externally, it sends her and those around her an unmistakable message of what she is and what she is becoming.  It moves her in a very particular direction with great force.  Her family and community treat her differently because of it,” notes Stanton.

“Not so with men,” George Gilder states in his book Men and Marriage. “Unlike a woman, a man has no civilized role or agenda inscribed in his body.”  He must find, learn and activate his social role. Maleness simply happens.  It is not the same with manhood.  Manhood must be constructed and cultivated.  If not, there can develop a perpetual male adolescence that we see in our culture today.  

Manhood is a behavior that needs to be taught and bestowed upon a young man by his family and other men.  Margaret Mead observed this necessity: “In every known human society, everywhere in the world, the young male learns that when he grows up, one of the things which he must do in order to be a full member of society is to provide food [and protection] for some female and her young….Every known human society rests firmly on the learned nurturing behavior of men.” But she warns: “This behavior being learned is fragile and can disappear rather easily under social conditions that no longer teach it effectively.”  How true this is in our day.

One of the significant, destabilizing forces in a culture is unchecked male sexuality and strength.  “If a society does not find a way to bring these under control,” warns Stanton, “society is impossible to sustain, and very bad things happen.” 

These observations by Stanton and Mead speak to the heart of my passion to continue this blog site.  I continue to “sound the trumpet” for male mentors.  Manhood needs to be achieved with the help of the company of elders.  

I am one voice crying out in the confused wilderness of today’s gender wars, for men to rise up and take their place as mentors to their sons, grandsons and other young men in their lives. Manhood is a behavior that must be taught and an identity bestowed by other men.  We need to step forth. 

I agree with author Erica Komisar, when she suggests boys, “should not be told that having more masculine traits make them lesser.  They should be told to harness that energy productively.”  It is other men who will help harness this energy.  

Men, don’t allow the angry voices in the gender wars cause you to doubt who you are in Christ.  You are his beloved as a man.  “For we are God’s masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Eph. 2:10). 

Together, as younger and older men, we can do our small part in restoring manhood in our day. “You younger men, accept the authority of the elders.  And all of you, serve each other in humility, for ‘God sets himself against the proud, but he shows favor to the humble'” (I Pet. 5:5-6). 

I am not sure how many men read my blogs.  I have been faithfully blogging for over ten years.  Over that period of time, the blog has created a audience of men who intuitively identify with what thoughts regarding men, who desire to be followers of Jesus in our day.     

What I have to say has been out there long enough on the internet for men to get a sense what the experience of “the wildman journey” means for young as well as older men in this time of “toxic masculinity.”  I know there are men who pass it along to others.  My Son, Kurt is the most faithful in sending it to other men.  

I hear enough from time to time about a man appreciating what is being said about masculinity.  That is enough to keep me going.  Be assured. I carry my weekly blog around in my heart the way I used to carry around my weekly sermons.  I continually have in mind my men’s blog when I am reading books, meditating on scripture and praying, and when I read all my favorites on the internet.

I am convinced more then ever that what God has put on my heart is relevant and  helpful, especially for younger Christian men, who want to be a men of God

I write about the blog site, because my Son, Mark and a good friend, Bill Weber, have created a new blog site entitled “Canaansrest.”  The  old site needed updating, since Judy and I no longer run a retreat house on Man Lake.  I also wanted my wife, Judy’s blog to be on the same site.  It is entitled “whispers.”  She will soon be posting her blogs.

To get to our blog site, simply go to “Canaansrest.org.”  In the near future we plan to allow for comments regarding our blogs, so that we can respond and interact with what is being said on our blogs. 

I close with a scripture that keeps me motivated to keep on blogging after ten years.  “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come” ( Ps. 71:18).