This is the title of a blog  by Ronald Rolheiser, a Catholic spiritual writer.  He makes reference to Carmelite nun, Constance Fitzgerald, who uses the word “impasse” in reference to the dark night of the soul.  She visualizes the dark night as a crucible of purifying in which, “the way out is the way through.”   “We are  unable to go back to the way things were, nor able to move forward.  All the former ways we understood. imagined and felt about things, especially in relation to God, faith and prayer, no longer worked for us.  We are unable to  think, imagine or feel our way out.  We are stuck at an impasse – no way back and no way forward.  How do we move beyond the impasse?”

The impasse has shown me my spiritual immaturity, along with the lack of depth in my spiritual formation. I have  been learning to live in the “dark night”  crying out for God to be merciful, as I allow him to transform more of my life into the image of Jesus. It has been a bumpy ride for me, learning slowly to give up control and  the need to understand.   In this journey, God’s Word has been my guide, as I have learned to listen to the deep longing of my soul. My thoughts and feelings have had to be refined through pain and confusion. This is the ultimate liminal space, a crucible in which I  needed to be purified. 

“The way out of a dark night of this kind,” notes Rolheiser, “is through ‘contemplation‘,  staying with the impasse, waiting patiently inside it, and waiting for God to break the impasse by transforming our imagination, intellect, and heart…..this impasse is a challenge for us to become mystics, not that we begin to search for extraordinary religious experience, but that we let our disillusion, broken symbols, and failed meanings become the space wherein God can reset our faith, feelings, imagination and intellect inside a new horizon wherein everything is radically reinterpreted.” 

So what should our response be?  Rolheiser asks, “How do we contemplate?”  “We do it by sitting in the  tension, helpless, patient, open, waiting, and staying there however long it takes for us to receive in the depth of our souls a new way of imagining, thinking, and feeling about God, faith, and prayer – beyond the impasse.”  This impasse notes Rolheiser, “is precisely what assures us that the new vision which is given to us comes from God and is not the product of our imagination or projection or self-interest.”  

Until the early 80’s I had no idea of this rich contemplative stream found within the Catholic tradition.  I have been immersed in this stream ever since, while not leaving my evangelical, biblical roots.  Jesus’ prayer in  John 17:26 has been a guide for me: “I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”   I am invited into the loving relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  This gets to the heart of the contemplative journey with the Lord.

Here are some phrases from the article I identified with: 1) crucible of purifying – often a painful death to my ego,  2) “an impasse”- patiently waiting in the Lord’s presence,  3) contemplation –  receiving from God without my self imposed filters,  4)  Mystic – loving intimate relationship.   

Don’t let the word “mystic” scare you.  A mystic is simply one, who loves Jesus and wants to be conformed to his image.  “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:3)