Month: May 2012 (Page 3 of 4)

I had an experience today here on the lake, that I knew I had to write about on this blog.  As most of you know, Judy and I have a small retreat house on the lake where we live.  I call ourselves a “monk” and a “nun.”  This gives us a focus as to what our life is all about here on Man lake.  I am not a big fisherman and don’t get into a fishing boat that often.  So I am a bit “sports challenged” when it comes to being a northwoods fisherman.  At 70 I am starting a new learning curve.

Well, I have partnered with my son Kurt, to begin using his 16 ‘ boat to do some fishing.  But today was not a good start to this partnership.  I had to take the boat through a narrow and shallow channel to another lake in order to put the boat on a trailer to bring for repairs.  I had not taken a boat that big through the channel before.  It was windy and I had to use a small trolling motor for the first time to maneuver the boat.  Judy’s uncle, Stanton, who is an “expert” in everything to do with fishing, was kind enough to help me get the boat unto the trailer. Thank you, Stanton.  

Now for the kicker!  I had a very difficult time getting the boat through the channel as well as setting it up to get on the trailer.  Stanton watched patiently while brother Al tried his best to get the boat to cooperate.  Needless to say, I was embarrassed, humilated and frustrated at my lack of “boating skills.”  Here I was failing in the presence of the recognized “expert fisherman” of our lake.  I know at least one other neighbor witnessed my plight as well.  As I struggled, I realized that I did not feel shame, nor was I self condemning in ways that I have been in the past when I was feeling such failure in the presence of another “male expert.” 

I not sure why, but the passage that came to me was from Hosea 11:4.  I take this passage personally for myself.  “I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love.  To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them.”  I simply had the sensation that my heavenly Father was tenderly loving me in my moment of shame and embarrassment.  I could ever joke about myself with uncle Stanton, saying “hold on, I going to make it.”  I could accept the reality that I am simply “a monk” living on the lake and am not an “expert fisherman.”  I could say to myself, “It is o.k. to feel like a failure.  This is not that important to your well being and the sense of who you are, Al.” “Wow,” I thought, “this is real growth for a you, Al.”

Men, I give this testimony for anyone of you who get into situations where you feel shame or embarassment about who you are.  What has made the difference for me is that I have learned to receive the love that my heavenly Father has for me in being just who I am and not for what I do.  Experiencing God’s love for you at the heart level, will begin to free you from the need to present yourself as someone you are not.  You will be able to face reality.  Reality is who you really are, not who you pretend to be.   This bring freedom and acceptance.  I felt some of that today.  I was surprised but it brought joy to my heart.

I have been reading a fascinating book by Tanya Luhrmann entitled “When God talks back: Understanding the American Evangelical Relationship with God.”  Luhrmann is a professor of anthropology at Stanford.  For the past 10 years she has been researching the way evangelical Christians talk with God.  Recently she had an article in Christianity Today in which she addressed the question of why women pray more then men.  She references a 2008 Pew U.S. Religious Landscape Survey which found that two-thirds of all women surveyed pray daily, while less than half of all men surveyed do.  So she was asking why.  Her conclusion “Women pray more because women are more comfortable with their imagination, and in order to pray, you need to use your imagination.”

I can personally identify with her conclusions regarding men.  For years I was either confused regarding my imagination or completely disregard this vital part of my personhood. I was even told it was dangerous to my spiritual life.  I was afraid that my imagining would lead me astray from the truth of Scripture.  I am writing this blog, however, to encourage men to embrace their God given gift of intuition and imagination.  While God certainly can’t be a product of our imagination, the truth is that if we are to know God intimately we will need to use our imagination, because as Luhrmann observes, “the imagination is the means humans must use to know the immaterial.”  C.S. Lewis who used the imagination to reach many for Christ had a chapter in Mere Christianity entitled “Let’s Pretend.”  “Let’s pretend,”Lewis writes, “to turn the pretence into a reality.”

With our imagination we are able to know truth through mental images as well as through rational concepts and intellectual concepts.  “We live by a world picture as well as a world view.  Spiritual experience consists not only of theological concepts, such as God’s attributes and the commands asserted in the Bible, but also of images like light and darkness….The imagination gives us spiritual knowledge in the form of  ‘right seeing.'” (Leland Ryken).  Luhrmann by means of a psychological scale for “absorption,” which measures a person’s capacity and interest in being caught up in the imagination, found that women scored more highly then men (Men, do you read romantic novels).   This can explain in part why men so often feel less spiritual then women.  They can easily beat themselves up for not being a good Christian like their wife.  Could it be that part of the problem is the lack of imagination with us guys?

I have become convinced that men simply have a harder time in simply “receiving God’s unconditional love.”  This goes back to our lack of imaginative experience.  While most men reading this blog know intellectual that God loves them, many have not been able to receive the reality into their hearts.  My answer has become – “You have to sit there and simply let yourself be loved.”  This implies the use of the imagination.  One of my favorite verse in this regard is Ps 27:8, “My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’  Your face, Lord, I will seek.”  I tell men that they need to imagine God looking at them in love, and then imagine  themselves in the presence of God.  Men need to do this with a humble, child-like trust in the love of God.  After a time it will begin to sink into their hearts.  But let me warn you, the more you think about it the further you will be moved from the realityknow you are loved. You will end up going around and around in your mind.  It comes when you imagine yourself  being  loved by God, using your imagination and intuition.  I know this from experience in my life and those of other men.  So I encourage you to do some “pretending.”

“Be the last of a dying breed, it’s time that we man up.”  This is the last line of the “Man Up Anthem” from the Christian rap group 116 Clique. The song helped launch a growing campaign by the Christian Rapper, Lecrae to get young men in hip-hop culture to “man up” as responsible husbands and fathers.  “Father absence is a systemic problem… that’s proven to lead to higher rates of gang violence, incarceration and suicide. As of 2007, the national rate of children born to single mothers was 40%.  According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, 24 million American children – one in three – live in homes without their biological fathers.”  So, where are the men?  They definitely need to man up.

When I thought about this slogan, I thought of Paul’s words in Ephesians 6, as he describes the spiritual battle we are in: “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes (11).  He also declares, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand (13).  Three times we are exhorted to stand.  I would suggest that when we man up, we take a stand. 

Taking clues from Paul, men need to know that they are in a battle. The real issues are not economic, political, and social, but spiritual.  It is a spiritual battle between Satan and the kingdom of God. I have taught for years that the real problem with our culture is what Derek Prince called “renegade fathers.”  Until fathers and young men come to see who they are and can be in God, they will never begin to own up to their responsibilities.  Why?  Because the culture takes them “off the hook.”  The enemy will do all he can to break down the family. That starts with renegade fathers.  I know this is not a popular view, but it is truth that has to be proclaimed. 

I have changed my approach to fathers and young men over the years.  I used to get after men and almost shamed them into facing up to their responsibilities.  But now I believe that a better approach is to appeal to a man’s deepest desires and instincts. When a man is embraced with love and compassion, he’s able to get beyond his defenses and pay attention to his heart. Once a man really gives his heart to Jesus, things begin to change.  Only the transformation of the heart will bring a new sense of wanting to be responsible for his role in the family as husband and father.

Lecrae addresses father absence saying, “Young African American males [are] immediately an example for other African American males in the community at large. Not only are the young men challenged and encouraged by this, but also the young ladies, because they get to see what they should be looking for and how to encourage their brothers in the direction of taking leadership and responsibility.”  I think this is a good challenge for all men.  I know I take it that way.  As a grandfather, father, and husband, I know that my grandsons are watching me. They especially watch how I treat their grandmother.  At church I know that the wives watch my actions.  So I hope that you, like me, are still willing to “man up.”  As Paul puts it: “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.  Do everything in love” (I Cor. 16:13).