Month: January 2024 (Page 1 of 4)

I have been reading a book on prayer by Fr. Donald Haggerty. In a chapter entitled “the desert of deeper prayer” he shares a quote from Saint Augustine.  “Give me a man in love: he knows what I mean, give me one who yearn; give me one who is hungry; give me one far away in this desert, who is thirsty and sighs for the spring of the Eternal country.  Give me that sort of man: he knows what I mean.  But if I speak to a cold man, he just does not know what I am talking about.”  

This quote is both inspiring and convicting for me.  I confess there are times when my relationship with God as that of a “cold man“.  I am not sure about my love for God, I lack passion for the cause of Christ, my thirst  for God is not very apparent, and I go through the motions without the vital energy of the Spirit.  I still struggle with my sexual fantasies. I want to desire “one thing”; that is being a passionate lover of God.  Yes, Augustine, I am that man, thirsting in a dry and thirsty culture.

I am a man continually crying out to God,  “Have mercy on me a sinner.”  I am like blind Bartimaeus, sitting by the roadside begging, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me” (Mark 10:47).  He was desperate, knowing this was his only opportunity to connect with Jesus.  When Jesus called him, Bartimaeus responded. Without hesitation he  throw of his cloak, jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.  When Jesus asked what he wanted, he was honest,  “Rabbi, I want to see” (Mark 10:51).  Jesus tells him, “Go your faith has healed you” (Mark 10:52).

David cries out to God in a parched and weary land.  “O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you.  My soul thirst for you; My whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is not water” (Ps. 63:1).  I can somewhat identify with David.  It has been a long, winding path in becoming a man who desires to be a lover of God – “a man in love.”  It has meant a lot of unlearning about what a man is, my past spiritual journey and my theological framework.  I finally can say, “I want to be a man in love with God.”

What has this meant for me?  I have had to become more honest about my spiritual condition. David was honest when he prayed, “Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me? (Ps 42:5).  First, it has meant becoming a soulful man. St. John of the Cross calls the soul, the region of deep caverns .  It is vast, unknown and deep.  I have to become willing to go deep. This in not introspection for Jesus is already there waiting for me.  

Secondly, I have to admit my need.  I am a beggar like Bartimaeus, who can’t fix himself spiritually.  David prayed, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Ps 51:17).  He admitted his great need. “My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  When can I go and meet with God” (Ps 42:2).  I come to God in all my nakedness and emptiness.

Thirdly, God will rescue me from myself.  “I sink in the miry depths where there is no foothold.  I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me” (Ps 69:2).  God will rescue me.  “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me” (Ps 18:19).  

Trevin Wax is becoming one of my favorite younger spiritual writers.  He writes about men, many of whom seem lost and lonely in our culture.  His recent blog titled “To Be a Holy Man” caught my attention: “Many today seem to view masculinity as a problem rather than a gift,” he notes.  “How does it make sense to push back against toxic expressions of masculinity without a clear picture of actual manliness, a positive vision that shatters the caricature.”  He then refers to an article by Jeremy Schurke listing 18 characteristic of a man who abides in Christ. 

“We are all acting as first responders,” observes Schurke, “to the scene of a masculinity crisis.”  Men are suffering from “ontological insecurity.”  Schurke believes we need exemplars: “As for the ideal man, I have been really interested in the concept of a Holy Man.”  He sees this as a “first step for a generation of men who are experiencing ontological insecurity.”  Below are Schurke’s descriptors of a Holy Man.  The list is rather long, but I trust you will find it stimulating.  Think of it as a “glorified” bull session on masculinity:

1. He possesses wild eyes.  He’s not satisfied with the status quo but takes initiative as a difference maker.  He’s a citizen of another world.
2. He moves mysteriously.  Dallas Willard talked about living  “in another time zone.”  This is the life of a practical mystic.
3. He revers the sacred everywhere.   He is an everyday mystic, seeing his life as a spiritual adventure.
4. He establishes rituals, disciplines, and traditions.  He recognizes how habits shape life and character.
5. He walks a spiritual pilgrimage.  Life is a growing relational process in which one never arrives.
6. He abides in God.  He desires a consistent and transformative friendship with God.
7. He seeks a spiritual father.  He chooses close friends and a mentor – for soul care.
8. He lives for a life mission.  He seeks to know God’s calling and walk in it.
9. He wants to leave a legacy.  He invests time, talent, and treasure in and for others, seeing life in the larger story of God’s kingdom.
10. He seeks kindred spirits, and knows he needs to be surrounded by men who will encourage him.
11. He belongs to a tribe, and realizes he cannot be a “lone ranger.” 
12. He is a savage servant.  A Holy Man is committed to the team concept of leadership, organization and mission.
13. He fosters emotional intelligence.  With others, he learns self-awareness, empathy, and interpersonal sensitivity.
14. He burns with the fire of a poet and walks with a limp.  Being honest about his failings, he leads from a place of love and suffering.
15. He is a perpetual student.  He is a student of scripture and other spiritual books so as to grow both in mind and heart.
16. He takes his body seriously.  He appreciates his body, being comfortable in his own skin.  He understands his own sexuality and is committed to the virtue of chastity.
17. He is consciously countercultural.  He appreciates the goodness of creation and mourns the distortion of sin.
18. He becomes a saint.  He is committed to a lifelong process of growth, formation, and development, while being consciously set apart for God as a poet, warrior and monk.  He visualizes becoming like Jesus by being Jesus’ apprentice – to walk in his ways and love as he loves.

This is a long list for a short blog.  But these suggestions cast a vision that resonates with my heart.  As Schurke notes, “These steps to being a Holy Man are not easy.  Each requires more thought and reflection to be able to apply them well.”