In early 2010 ,James Houston wrote an article entitled “The Independence Myth” with the subtitle “Only our soul friends can show us the ecology of evil within us.” Dr. Houston asks, “Could a new understanding of such terms as spiritual direction provide pointers to what is needed in our congregational life? Could it be that in our search for ‘revival,’ making our pastoral care more holistic would save us from what seems like a constant need to pump air into leaky tires.” He goes on to identify three such leaky tires. Men, do we have a leaky tire.
First, he mentions, the “mistaken notion that if only we preach and teach enough the congregation will ‘know the truth.'” Instruction alone maintains Dr. Houston, “is no substitute for the relational inspiration and the quality of life we can give each other in “soul friendships.'” “As long as we assume that ‘talk’ automatically leads to living the gospel, there will be spiritual leakage.”
A second leak “has to do with our confused identity as Christians.” It is “fatal to Christian ministry to find one’s identity in being the pastor or elder or deacon, instead of being ‘in Christ Jesus.'” Thirdly, Houston identifies the “moral leakage among us.” He sees a “nation of the morally stillborn,” who are more like “the morally retarded,” showing little behavioral difference from the culture.
These leakages reveal the lack of the discipline and ordering of our emotional lives, attitudes and motives, which need to be incorporated in our teaching. We often can be blind to the depth of original sin. Houston observes, “If sin is self-deceiving, then I need a soul friend to give me insights into the ways I am deceived, or insensitive, or hardened by sin within me.” A true spiritual friend helps us to see “the inner ecology of evil” in our heart.
Dr. Houston sees the need to prioritize the “emotional education of our inner lives.” An “over rationalized faith” can lead to more talk then walk. ” {When} authentic spiritual guidance” notes Houston. “reveals the reality of human sin, and the relevance of Christ’s lordship and redemption to our emotions and our minds, then it will help expose the intrinsically self-deceiving character of sin in our lives.” Those who are most rational in control of their lives, will “scorn the relevance of soul friendship.” However, a sincere soul friend can expose our inner ecology of sin.
Houston, asks why is prayer so neglected among believers? His answer is intriguing. “It reflects our general fear of intimacy, which in turn is responsible for our lack of deep friendships, and indeed for the whole undernourishment of the relational life.” One of the aims of spiritual guidance and direction is to help with our life of prayer. Spiritual friend can be encouraging in our struggle with prayer.
Finally, Dr. Houston reminds us, the life of the Christian is grounded in the mystery of the Trinity. “We all need to see the divine Trinity as the archetypal reality of our expression of community, communion, and spiritual life together.” Each person of the Trinity is “for-the -other.” each having “identify-in-the-other,” but yet one God. “Spiritual friendship means the friendship of those who are the prayerful companions of God.” With spiritual friends we can experience “a comfortable walking with God.”
Houston warns there are no “paid friends” who are experts, rather”these qualities only appear when the Spirit of God blows softly over dry bones as the prophet saw in his vision. And therein lies our hope.”
My advice, find a male spiritual friend. Make it a priority. Don’t be a spiritual “Lone Ranger.”
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