Category: Wildman Journey (Page 1 of 85)

I have an admission to make as I write this blog.  I look forward to watching the pro football hall of fame enshrinement ceremony each year.  This year my favorite team, the Minnesota Vikings, had Jared Allen, who played defensive end, go into the hall of fame.  My wife knows when I am been watching the ceremony.  I usually am crying like a baby.  It is inspiring to observe a completive, no-nonse guy stand before the mike with the sports world listening intently to his prepared speech speak from the heart.   

Sometimes, it seems like the football player is emulating himself and his accomplishments.  But most of the time, when a man stands before the world, giving his acceptance speech, his words are deep, heartfelt and sincere.  He remembers the hard work, the guys he played with, along with those who have supported him.  Often the man standing at the podium will give a clear witness of strength found in the Lord. When I sense the sincere gratitude, often filled with heartfelt emotions, it brings me to tears.  Here are men, admired by the sports world, for being a tough and determined football player, yet when the spotlight is on them, they give gratitude and thanksgiving to others, and often filled with emotion.  “Wow.”

Jared Allen, in the last minutes of his speech, gave a bold and clear testimony regarding the place of Jesus in his life.  He began by remembering the premarital advice given to him and his wife.  He referred to the two most important decisions a man will make.  First, the decision to follow Jesus and who will he marry.  He also recalled the advice of knowing there are two different people in life. First, those who are like a boat anchor, who drag you down and second, those who elevate you.  He then gives high praise for his wife, calling her, “a true game elevator.”

Then Allen speaks directly to his two lovely daughters before sports world.   He calls them, “his greatest accomplishment” and his “legacy.” He makes this remarkable statement, one in which I lost my composure.  “When I get called home to heaven one day, if all they talk about is my gold jacket, then I’ve failed miserably, failing as a father, husband and friend.”  He then gives this advice, which is very bold indeed.   “Always put Christ first and find your ‘why.’  Dream big dreams and always purse greatness in whatever you do.”

It is amazing how the light of the gospel shines through at unique times in our culture, as the message of “Good News” is told to millions of sports fans.  May Jared Allen’s words, speak to the hearts and souls of men.

To hear the name of “Jesus” mentioned on the stage of the pro football hall of fame, is powerful.  Phil 2:10-11 declares, “that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”  I agree wholehearted that our two most important decisions in life are accepting Jesus as Lord and who a man will marry.  Allen’s advice to his daughters, in putting Christ first is life is wise fatherly counsel.

Listen to his advice, men.  Your most important decision will be about the “Lordship of Jesus” and your choice of a life partner.  It seems to me; Allen was pleading with his daughters to put Jesus first.  May all the young men, who are football fans not forget this wise and heartfelt advice from pro hall of famer, Jared Allen. Skol

My wife and I, watched in amazement and joy as we sensed  the presence of the Lord this past Sunday, during the five-hour memorial for Charlie Kirk, held in Phoenix’s State Farm Stadium.  Both of us have spent the last couple of weeks, trying to discern what will be the impact of Charlie Kirk’s assassination.  Beyond a doubt Kirk is a martyr because of his example, spirit and courage.  He has captured the hearts of young men.  The movement is growing.

Two passages of Scripture help describe what participants experienced as a spiritual revival as well as a political rallying cry. Seldom in such a large gathering have such opposite expressions so blended together.  Political power and spiritual energy was produced by the testimonies to the life of Charlie Kirk and his belief in Jesus, as Lord and Savior.  It produced a momentum that will begin to capture our nation with the “Good News” that Jesus and His Kingdom is the ultimate answer to the brokenness felt in our nation.

The first passage is from Malachi 4:2-3, “But you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings.  And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.”  As the TV cameras panned crowd of almost 100,000 in the stadium, you could see the energy as the crowd, freely  expressing their joy in the Lord.  They were like calves that had felt penned up.  They experienced  the healing presence of the Lord.

The second passage is from Isaiah 9:2, “The people who walk in darkness will see a great light.  For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine.”  The fourth verse goes on to say, “For you will break the yoke of their slavery and lift the heavy burden from their shoulders.  You will break the oppressor’s rod, just as you did when you destroyed the army of Midian.”  Many people once again saw that the darkness can not overcome the “light of Jesus” presence.  “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” (John 1:5).  The yoke of slavery to the voices of darkness was broken and the heavy burden of confusion, despair and uncertainty was lifted from the shoulders of many well meaning folks, who were previous blinded by the enemy of our souls.

This is what I take away from this spiritual revival meeting held in the desert of Arizona, watched by millions around the world.  First, Jesus is Lord.  This was the rock solid belief of Charlie Kirk.  Jesus declared,  “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End” (Rev. 22:13).  Jesus is “the Arc of History.”  Don’t try to bend it in any other direction, then his Kingdom Presence.

Secondly, the necessity and beauty of Charlie’s wife Erika confessing, “I forgive you” to her husband’s killer.  Her example is the model for our broken and divided nation at this moment in time.  Jesus taught us to pray, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those trespass against us.”

On a personal note – two challenges for me.  Charlie Kirk has challenged me to be a man of courage. He was not afraid of the opposition.  The second challenge was his on going comment to his wife, “What can I do today for you as my wife?” 

This revival in the desert will stick in the hearts and minds of Americans for long time.  May we all have the courage to choose the way of Jesus, as we face the opposition from those who have been  blinded to the truth of King Jesus.   

Richard Reeves is doing some insightful work regarding men and boys’ issues in today’s culture.  He recently posted an article entitled, “The case for male spaces,” with an interesting subtitle, “Fears of the Old Boys’ Club are now doing more harm than good.”   Reeves contends that male loneliness is not getting the attention that it needs. He notes, “You can’t neglect a friendship and expect it to just grow……my observation is that many women are just better at doing that and building it into their lives…..We do need to be intentional about male friendship. We need to be intentional about combating against loneliness, and that we have to create spaces that are not going to create themselves.”

Reeves is big on being intentional about creating male spaces. He made this observation. “Feminists’ suspicion of all-male spaces and male bonding rituals make sense given their sexist history.  But today, these spaces can make men stronger allies of women.  When men support each other, it relieves women of the burden of their emotion labor.  And it can teach men reciprocity and listening skills.” 

He quotes Brett Mckay with this humorous observation: “With every room co-opted in the house by women or children, and with few bastions of manliness in the public sphere left standing to escape to, men were relegated to claiming a solitary chair as their designated male space.”  Reeves wonders if it might be, “time to look much more findly on the case for male organizations, spaces and institutions.  I think we’ll look back on the decision of so many organizations, especially those focused on boys and young men, to abandon a single-sex approach as a mistake.”  

I am thankful for my first 18 years in the UP of Michigan, where having acceptable “male spaces.” was a fact of life.   I have fond memories of being with my male “buddies” on most occasions outside of sponsored social events.  When it came to girls, I was shy and insecure.  Through all the normal activities of boys, interacting on our own, I learned what it meant to be a boy.  I am eternally thankful that my parents let me enjoy and flourish in these “boyhood spaces.”

But when I left home, I had to learn what it was to be a man.  This was very difficult at times.  My youth offered little “male spaces” to learn from other men.  My Dad and those in my circle of influences never gave it much thought.  So, in my 20’s and early 30’s my heart was searching and hungering for “male presence” in my life.  I slowly got healing for my soul and I discovered the presence and joy of being with other Christian men in the churches that I served. 

Because of my lack of “male space” and being a relational guy, I became involved with other men in find healing for their souls and as a pastor, becoming naturally involved in soul care.  In my 30’s and early 40’s it was simply fellowship with other men, knowing that as men shared our stories, it could be healing for our souls.  Later I found a name for this work.  It was “The Care of Souls” for men.  Many women  in my churches hoped their husband would come to the soul care group for men, knowing that other men might help them with their issues, while learning to be transparent with their pain.

So, yes, the church needs a place where men can talk about their soul life.  Men being with other men can do wonders for a lonely, confused man.  “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do” (Prov. 4:23 NLT).

Stuart Whatley in an essay for The New Statesman entitled “The West is Bored to Death,” contends our culture is weakening not from pain or poverty, but rather from boredom.  He believes, “a spiritual vacuum created by material abundance and the declining sense of meaning, has resulted in the rise of dangerous politics, aimless leisure, and hallow activism.”  While the comfort and convenience of modern life has reduced physical suffering, it has helped to produce a crisis of restlessness and discontent. 

Work has become detached from a sense of calling.  There are fewer people rooted in community or tradition.  More free time has brought about a state of boredom.  This free time is often filled with digital noise, outrage cycles, and fleeting pleasures.  Into this void, online movements and ideological crusades present a counterfeit purpose, creating the illusion of significance for people who feel lost, unheard, or unimportant.”  Whatley notes, “when people don’t know what to do with their freedom, they become easy prey for demagogues and tribal causes. 

Anthony Bradley in reviewing Whatley article, contends that the church can provide, “a context where men can build real friendships and live with direction.” rather than simple following a set of beliefs or rituals.  “In a culture of loneliness and atomization,” observes Bradley, “the church gives men something they’re rarely offered elsewhere: a place to be known, needed, and included.”  Generally, men have favored independence and isolation.  The result is many men are left aimless and disconnected.  The church is able to provide a relational context men need in our day – a circle of brothers.  This offers men something beyond themselves, “it can offer rhythm, a shared responsibilities and opportunities to grow through service, reflection, and collective purpose.”

Boredom will lessen when there is friendship, shared mission and encouragement among men.  Bradley makes the point of the church focusing on relating to men.  “When men have other men walking beside them……it changes everything.”   He strongly suggests, “Without those relationships, no amount of success, wealth, or free time will fill the void.”  All the political chaos in our culture today “isn’t just ideological; it’s relational.”  The church can meet this relational need among men, by providing a home, “for the men this culture has left drifting.

Peter Ostapko, founder of “Kinsmen” believes, “The overwhelming majority of men never move past the surface veneer of their friendships with others.  It’s almost like we need an unlearning of what has become our definition of friendship.”  Male friendship should include forgiveness, love, brotherhood and genuine affection.  Ostapko thinks we are afraid “because we’re parked in guilt and shame and don’t want to be exposed.”  Or we are too busy, obsessed with productivity and efficiency and the friendships we need simply take too much time and will become far too messy. 

He offers this challenge: “get away from the surface veneer, stop consuming and performing.  Create margin. Honor one another.  Embody forgiveness. Be willing to show up for one another for long enough that’ll even warrant the need for forgiveness.”  He believes “we have exchanged God’s design in brotherhood for a conditioned transaction of association that we call friendship.”  

Men need a safe space with other men in order to tell their stories.  Male voices, sharing the secrets of the soul, help men to unlearn many of their dysfunctional habits of being a lone ranger or a stoic personality who has lost a sense of being a soulful man.  May the Lord provide each men reading this blog a group of soulful men, who want to “look under the hood.”  Help us to be there for the “wounded warriors.”  

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There are times when I would like to include sports in blogs, but I don’t want to be over zealous in my interest of sports.  However, the following note in the Daily Caller, prompts me to comment on PJ Jules, a safety who survived the mandatory roster cut for the Cincinnati Bengals.  I am always looking for clues about the character of a player, who realizes he has been given a gift from God, as an athlete.  Even the NFL football commentators speak of players being “a character guy.”  Many have had an impact on the locker room by the way they live their life.  I imagine being a player with “high values” can be quite a challenge.    

Anyway, I sense from Jules’ post that he is a character guy.  For the whole 2024 season, Jules was a member of Cincinnati’s practice squad.  The team had signed him as an undrafted free agent.  He had played college football at Southern Illinois, where in the  2023 season he became a first-team FCS All-American.  But that all changed in 2025 when he landed a spot on the Bengals roster.  In a post, after he had received confirmation, Jules sent out a message in which he talked about his father. 

“I made the team, I’m active.  Thank you Lord for the opportunity.  I miss you so much Dad.  Wish you was here to see me.  You believed in me.  I know you watching.  I do this for you, from nothing to something.  This [is] just [the] beginning of something great.”

I, of course, don’t  know PJ Jules.  I  take at face value, what he is saying is from his heart in his excitement of making a professional football team.  After being cut the previous year, he is now celebrating his accomplishment.  I want to comment on his post. 

In relief after his disappointment of not making the team, he notes, “I made the team. I’m active.”  Then he thanks the Lord, “for the opportunity.”  It seems that this young man knows that he had the Lord’s help in his opportunity to play on a professional football team in the NFL.  He knows that life is bigger than his own success.  God has given him the platform to excel in his God given abilities.  

But most telling is how in this moment of success as a young football player, the young man speaks of his  departed father.  He evidently had a bonding relationship with his father.  He writes, “I miss you so much dad.  Wish you was here to see me. You believe in me. I know you watching.  I do this for you, from nothing to something.  This [is] just [the] beginning of something great.” 

Every young man needs to know his father is in his corner, cheering him on in life, as he seeks to make his mark as a man.  To say publicly in this moment of celebrating, that PJ had a father who believed in him, is very telling.  Many young men are fatherless and lonely.  Living without guidance and not knowing what it is to be a man.  Jules, in my discernment, is thanking his father, for helping him become a man.  When he says, “from nothing to something” he is realizing his dream of playing pro football, even when he wanted to quit.  It takes a father cheering on his son, for his son to make it.

For PF, ” This [is] just the beginning of something great.”  This young man  had the modeling and support of a Dad who believes in him.   Becoming a man is more caught than taught.  

Anthony Bradley in a candid article, ends with this challenge.  “I’d recommend that people stop whining  about ‘Andrew Tate’ and instead, out-complete him and others with better content that fits with their view of world if they think the manosphere is a problem.”  As a member of “the silent generation” and a retired senior male, but still writing bogs about masculinity in our culture, I can only express my comments as a concerned senior.  But I can speak as a male who has been on an intentional masculine journey, having sought spiritual wholeness in following Jesus.

Bradley is writing about the “manosphere” and the young men who are gravitating to their messaging.  He notes, “this digital migration reveals less about the seductive power of online characters and more about the profound dereliction of duty by the very cultural and religious institutions designed to forge masculine virtue. What happens when the wellsprings of genuine guidance run dry, and who precisely rushes in to fill the void?”  

Gleaning result from a survey of over 3,000 young men (16-25) across the UK, US, and Australia, he found 61% of young men in the UK regularly engaged with masculinity influencers online.  The influencers were most popular among white, older (within the 16-25 range) full-time employed, university-educated young men from high-income households.  83% believe men must be providers, 70% believe women have it easier than men, while 67% believe feminism is used to keep men down.  50% found the content to be entertaining, 47% motivating, and 43% as thought-provoking.   

Young men are seeking guidance online in dealing with modern masculinity.  There  seems to be a “siren song of confident, powerful men promising direction to legions of younger men adrift in a sea of cultural confusion.”  Young men gravitate toward the loudest and seemingly most self-assured voices, expounding stoicism, self-reliance and control. “These online figures often offer pathways emphasizing action, reclaiming power, or adhering to specific codes, bypassing the often messy and difficult work of risk-taking, repentance, vulnerability, relational healing, and enlisting in the work of fighting evil.”  

What young men need, Bradley maintains is encouragement, “which involves viewing them not as problems needing solutions, but as sources of potential value to those around them.”  A vacuum of virtuous, masculine leadership is found in the church.  What is needed includes, “the rare combination of intellectual rigor, deep compassion, unwavering conviction, and the proper confidence of a man submitted first to God – a model of virtuous masculinity equipped to truly mentor the next generation.” 

“The choice confronting us is stark,” according to Bradley, “Either we undertake the demanding work of cultivating environments where authentic, virtuous masculine leadership can actually flourish……..or we resign ourselves to watching successive generations of young men seek affirmation and direction from the distorted reflections offered by digital hucksters and failed archetypes.  The consequences of continued apathy are not merely cultural, but profoundly spiritual, bearing witness to our own institutional failure.”

Bradley has given the church a warning about the siren call of the male influencers on the internet.  There is a void in our culture that the influencers are filling among young men.  We as a church have not been able to fill that void with our messaging of the “Good News.” I agree that spiritual formation of young men in our day will involve risk-taking that will be “messy and difficult.”  Are men’s groups open to such call.  Young men need the encouragement of older men, who are mentors, having grown up in the hostile culture where men are considered toxic.  Bradley warns us of our “apathy” and our failure to fill the vacuum in the lives of younger men.

The Mainstream media, today is filled with commentary and predictions on the direction of our nation.  We continually hear from those on the right and those on the left.  “The new vibe” has the observers wondering about what the shifting sands of social, political and economic trends mean for our life together.  Whose narrative will shape our cultural imagination.

But I keep wondering about our foundations.  Will they last?  Jesus’ words regarding the wise and foolish builders are a warning.  “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.  Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.” (Matt. 7:24-5).  Of course, a house built on sand will collapse.

Carl Trueman counsels, to being cautious with the moral significance of the new vibe.  “Our morality is not the function of a vibe.  Our truths are not the expression of cultural taste.  We must heed Paul’s call to meditate upon things that are above.  These heavenly realities are as true today as they were when President Biden was in charge or, indeed when Charlemagne was crowned Holy Roman Emperor.  Only then can we act with discernment and with Christian fortitude wisdom and love in the context God has placed us.”

Before becoming Pope, Karol Cardinal Wojtyla, gave a warning to American bishops in 1976. “We are now standing in the face of the greatest historical confrontation humanity has ever experienced. I do not think that the wide circle of the American society…..realizes this fully.  We are now facing the final confrontation between the Church and the anti-Church, between the Gospel and the anti-Gospel, between Christ and the Antichrist.”  Joseph Ratzinger, who later became Pope Benedict noted, “The face of God is noticeably disappearing.  ‘The death of God’ is a very real process, which today extends deep into the interior of the Church.  God is dying in Christendom, so it seems.”  

In our public discourse, little attention is given to the moral and spiritual foundations of our nation.  The prophet Isaiah warned the people of Israel, who were acting “with pride and arrogance of heart” (Is 9:9).  They were disregarding God’s warning.  “Things aren’t that bad,  We can handle anything that comes.  If our buildings are knocked down, we’ll rebuild them bigger and finer.  If our forests are cut down, we’ll replant them with finer trees” (Is. 9:10  Message).  

We must be careful not to believe as the Israelites.  “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth.” (Deut 8:17).  God reminded them, “But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth.” (Deut 8:18). “It is not because of your righteousness or your integrity that you are going in to take possession of their land: but on account of the wickedness of these nations.” (Deut 9:5).

Isaiah later warned Israel’s leaders not to  hide their plans from God. “Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the Lord. who do their work in darkness and think, ‘Who sees us? Who will know?'” (Is. 29: 15).  In the process they were turning thing upside down.  “You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!  Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘He did not make me’? Can the pot say of the potter, ‘He knows nothing’?” (Is. 29:15b-16).

I wonder if the dominant narrative has it wrong?  Have we turned things upside down.  Men, we are not in charge.  We are clay and  the Lord is the potter.

Mark Bauerlein at First Things had a short book review of French author Pascal Bruckner’s recent book entitled “The triumph of the slippers: on the withdrawal from the world.” The phrase, “The triumph of the slippers,” caught my eye.   I knew I had to do a blog using this phrase as a springboard, challenging men to stay in the fight.  This is not a time for Christian men to fade away into a lifestyle of personal peace and comfort.  The awareness of being in a fight, should energize us to get out of our slippers.  May we say with Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (II Tim. 4:7).  We can identify with Ps. 149:6. “May the praise of God be in their mouths and a double-edged sword in their hands.”

Bruckner contends, “the triumph of fear and the paradoxical enjoyment of a fettered life” is the result of the Covid pandemic lockdown.  Covid, along with 9/11, climate alarm, and the Ukraine conflict, encouraged retreat from the public square and (non-Digal) social life.” Bruckner is concerned with the closing of minds and spaces.  We no longer seek and aspire, imagine and invent.  We rather survive.  Living in the past with closed doors was viewed as an impoverishment.  Now it seems to give safety and leisure.  This is especially true when we are diverted with screens. 

According to Bruckner, “We have entered a sterile era, a time of weakened eros and banal experience.”  If we don’t have a widespread recovery of active public involvement, despair and dissipation will only continue.  The forces of defeat are strong, as are the temptations on the screen.”  Bruckner’s advice: “Accept risk, avoid dependency, be with others (friends and strangers).”  In short, “get out of your slippers.”    

I thought of Psalm 112:7, which I read recently in my devotions. “They will have no fear of bad news: their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.”  In Psalm 34, David while pretending to be insane in front of Abimelech speaks about not being afraid.  “I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.  Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles.  For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him.” (Ps. 34:4-6).

Jesus warns of the world’s respond to His followers. “If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me.  If you lived on the world’s terms, the world would love you as one of its own.  But since I picked you to live on God’s terms and no longer on the world’s terms, the world is going to hate you” (John 15:18-19 MGS).  If we accept “God’s terms” as our blueprint for living in our contemporary culture, we will be hated for not embracing the “world’s terms.”  We will need to surrender wanting only to survive, while playing it safe with a focus on leisure and personal peace.

Jesus tells us, “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.  Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” (Matt 10:16).  “We are not to be sheeplike in our attitude but sensible and prudent.  We are not to be gullible pawns, but neither are we to be deceitful connivers. We must find a balance between wisdom and vulnerability to accomplish God’s work” (NLT application Bible). In other words, we need to be tough-minded and tender-hearted.

Gates Garcia contends that masculinity has been hijacked.  He believes, “The left’s successful rebranding of masculinity as ‘toxic’ didn’t just rewrite a dictionary entry – it rewired the cultural DNA that once produced great men.”  That statement struck a chord with me.  When the word “toxic” was first used to describe men, I was already doing blogs for men.  I vividly remember my initial response.  I rejected the term outright but could not easily form any constructive responses because I would often think of descriptions that were now considered negative by the cultural influencers. The light came on for me when Garcia talked about “a linguistic jujitsu.“

What does he mean?  His answer: “Why did ‘toxic masculinity’ stick?  Because it performed a linguistic jujitsu: attach a moral defect to the identity you want to erase, then offer ‘liberation’ through re-education.  Courage degenerates into ‘aggression,’ leadership into ‘oppression,’ fatherhood into ‘patriarchal privilege.’  The outcome is predictable: abolish the virtues that civilize male strength, then lament the violence or apathy that follows.”

Garcia went further in his article, arguing that the cultural collapse around masculinity was permitted. The opponents of masculinity, “turned moral virtue into pathology and repackaged fatherhood as an oppression.”  He continues with this soul searching statement, “a generation of boys has been raised to doubt their instincts, to apologize for their strength, and to see their fathers as liabilities rather than legacies.”  Garcia calls for the restoration of masculine virtue.  “Not nostalgia.  Not anger. But clarity.”  We are in his words “at the hinge.”  “The institutions may be hallow, the narratives poisoned, but the hunger for truth remains…..Masculinity is not toxic – it’s virtuous.  When we reclaim that distinction, we invite our sons to stand tall instead of apologizing for existing – and we give civilization the allies it deserves.”

I very much appreciate Mr. Garcia’s challenge.  From the beginning of this blog, I have been passionate to express a positive expression of masculinity found in the teaching of the Bible.  I must confess that I am more comfortable expressing my concerns, rather than putting them into words.  This blog is not a natural motivation for me.  Rather it is a spiritual discipline, by which I have grown as a voice for godly masculinity.  So, I take Mr. Garcia’s exhortation seriously to keep on doing what I do. 

As a young man, I had no concept of my God given identity as a male.  In my surrender to Jesus, I found healing for my masculine soul.  With the continual support of my godly wife, teachers such as Larry Christianson, Richard Roher, Leanne Payne, and John and Paula Sandford, my eyes were opened to the Lord’s presence in my life.   I found support from godly elders in my churches; men such Chuck Metelman, Dave Anderson, and Herb Gustafson.  Scripture has been a continual guide, along with the inner healing of my soul as my heart was opened through contemplative prayer.  I am eternally grateful for God’s grace and mercy in my life. 

I agree that masculinity has been hijacked.  We are notes Garcia at a “hinge” “The institutions may be hollow, the narratives poisoned, but the hunger for truth remains.  And in that hunger lies our moment.”  I cannot sit back and “tinker around the edges.” I exhort men reading this blog to recommit to follow Jesus.  He tells us in Rev. 3:8, “I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.”  Young men are hungering for the truth.  They are looking for exemplars, whom they can learn from.  There is a “father hunger” in our nation that is crying out to be nourished.     

I am a “feeling-intuitive guy,” according to the Myers-Briggs.  It took many years before I could accept being a male, who just never seemed to fit in the male culture.  I didn’t fit with the stereotype.  As I grew older, becoming more acquainted with personality types, I gained the liberating realization that I was a feeling-intuitive man.  Beside my type, I am left-handed.  I’m OK, just wired differently.   I discovered my feminine side was naturally more developed.  In my family of origins, I am thankful for my mother.  She was a straight, no-nonsense women, who toughened me up as a young man.  I am most thankful for my wife, who loves me for who I am. 

Having given you a thumb-nail sketch of my personality, I need to add – I have worked mightily on my labilities.  I am not intellectual, practical, nor am I linear in my thinking.  I have studied continually, worked at being practical, while striving to be consistent.  I was deeply moved by an article in First Things by Freya India entitled “The right has forgotten feeling.”  Ms. India, in her journey, is once again embracing conservative Christianity.  But she laments the lack of real feeling for the hurts of women. 

I must confess, in writing this blog for 15 years, I have been reluctant to admit I am a “heart guy” first rather than a “head guy.” But the article stuck a deep nerve in my heart.  “Girls and young women are hurting,” notes India. “They are suffering from record rates of anxiety and depression.  Some are starving themselves……. Many feel alone with few friends, little face-to-face interaction, often without a father or mother in the picture.  They feel hopeless, powerless.”  

These feelings seem to have little appreciation in the modern world.  India stresses, “by feeling I mean not just emotion but intuition, a nagging sense that something was wrong, that my needs weren’t being met.  Conservative commentators, who seem to be over reliant on intellect and argument, on numbers and logic are not reaching hurting young women.”  Ms. India experiences, “endless abstract arguments for marriage, but very little talking to young women who ache…….Commentators quote obscure theological texts to prove their intellect, rarely to persuade.”     

India encounters too much blaming of girls and young women for their struggles. “Maybe,” wonders India, “young girls behave as they do because they are desperate, wired, to be seen, to be accepted, to belong.  They need refuge, not ridicule.”  She suggests arguing from feelings, for painful realities, are matters of the heart. “Besides forgetting how to speak about feelings, the right has forgotten to listen….. (if you) listen to young women long enough, you will often hear pain.” 

She challenges Christians, “In a world that denies and confuses young women’s every instinct, show them another way.”  Give young women permission to say no. They are, “not insecure for having strong moral instincts.” Our mission “must be to heal their troubled hearts, to still their racing minds, to mend their broken trust.”  India closes with this thought, “How hard it is to discuss instincts.  It is harder still to defend them.  But that is our battle.  Our fight is to put feelings into words.  To articulate the pain, the loss, the abandonment.  Find the words, because those words might finally reach young women, might finally bring them home.”

Men, I have spent a lifetime, fighting “to put feelings into words.”  Therefore, I would say; First, we need to affirm the intuition of woman, rather than make a joke of its expression.  Secondly, remember there are hurting young women, who are casualties of our left-brain society.  Thirdly, be a loving presence among young women.