Canaan's Rest

Anthony Bradley writes how pop music “cries out” regarding fatherlessness in our culture.  “For decades, popular music has served as a powerful medium for artists to grapple with personal trauma, none more resonant than the wounds inflicted by bad fathers.  From abandonment to emotional neglect, musicians have transformed their pain into melody, offering listeners both catharsis and a window into the lifelong consequences of paternal failure.  In the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries, a wave of songs emerged that directly confronted the heartbreak of absentee or neglectful fathers, spanning genres and generations in a cultural reckoning with broken families.” 

Bradley, who obviously knows the lyrics,  gives this warning, “The voices of these artists…… are cultural testimonies to the devastating impact of fatherlessness…..The depth of rage, sorrow and longing found in these lyrics makes one thing abundantly clear: the failure of fathers is not just a personal failing, but a social epidemic with generational consequences…..The pain of these artists is not theoretical…….The sociological research confirms what the music has been screaming for decades: children need their fathers…..These songs, then, are more than expressions of personal grief.  They are warnings….a father’s absence is never forgotten.  It lingers in the lyrics, in the broken relationships, in the struggles for self-worth, in the desperate search for love in all the wrong places.”   

And as Bradley reminds us if nothing changes, “these same songs will continue to be written, decade after decade, generation after generation, an eternal echo of a crisis we refuse to confront.”   

Bradley comments on the lyrics of various pop artists.  He mentions Eric Clapton’s “My Father’s Eyes” (1998) as a haunting lament about longing for a father he never met, filled with deep sorrow.  Kelly Clarkson in “Because of You” (2004) speaks to the deep scars of abandonment.  Everclear’s “Father of Mine” (1997) rages against a father’s absence.  The song express the brutal realities of growing up without a father.  

Hip-hop has been an unflinching genres when it comes to fatherlessness. 2Pac’s “Papa’z Song” (1993) expresses longing, rage, and self-reliance at a father’s absence.  Jay-Z and Beanie Sigel’s lyrics are like a verbal assault, demanding answers for years of neglect.  Earl Sweatshirt’s “Day” (2015) suggests that some wounds will never heal.   Kendrick Lamar laments the impact of a father’s presence as a generational and cultural wound.  In “U” (2015) Lamar shares to deep self-hatred resulting from family struggles and abandonment.  In J. Coles unreleased “Dear Father” (2011) is a song about abandonment and the internal war that rages in a son left to wonder why he wasn’t enough for his father to stay.   

Many of these artists have spent their lives struggling with the question:”Why wasn’t I worth staying for?” And even more hauntingly: “Am I doomed to repeat the sins of my father?”  “Every absent father, every abusive father, every neglected father leaves a wound and those wounds do not simply fade.  They fester, they metastasize, they are passed down.  Fatherlessness is not just a private heartbreak – it is a crisis that shapes our families, our communities, and our nation. It lingers in the lyrics, in the broken relationships, in the struggles  for self-worth, in the desperate search for love in all the wrong places.” 

This article spoke deeply to my heart as a father.  I raised three children and am grandfather to eight grandchildren.  Bradley’s remarks made me reflect my fathering and the wounds I have left.  I am thankful early in my marriage for knowing God’s order for the family  I was committed to doing my best as a Dad.  For the ways I was not a good father, I have asked my children for forgiveness.     

I ‘ve read Ch.9 of Isaiah often,  especially during the Advent season.  Recently I was struck with the sheer force of verses 4-5, when I consider the yoke and emotional burden our nation is under.   “For you will break the yoke of their slavery and lift the heavy burden from their shoulders.  You will break the oppressor’s rod, just as you did when you destroyed the army of Midian.  The boots of the warrior and the uniforms bloodstained by war will be burned.  They will be fuel for the fire” (Is. 9:4-5 NLT). This would be an unbelievable occurrence for people, “walking in darkness……living in the land of the shadow of death (Is. 9:2). 

At the time of Isaiah’s prophecy, the Assyrians had invaded Zebulun and Naphtali, the two northern tribes of Israel. The invasion brought darkness and despair, but the Isaiah was giving the people reason for hope.  “Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress” (Is. 9:1).  These words are given in the “prophetic perfect.” “Though the events were in the future, they were described as if they had already happened” (CSB Study Bible). Matthew quotes this passage in Matt. 4:15-16,  referring to the ministry of Jesus, who as the light of the world has come to  removing the darkness and lifting the despair 

When a nation feels like they are living in the shadow of death, it give the impression of little hope of a brighter future. “The oppressed nation is compared to an ox weighed down by a heavy yoke and an animal that is prodded and beaten.” (NET)  I have been pondering the yoke as a symbol of our nation’s despair and anxiety. In scripture the yoke is the image of subjection.  We read in Deut. 28:47-8, “Because you did not serve the Lord your God joyfully and gladly in the time of prosperity, therefore in hunger and thirst, in nakedness and dire poverty, you will serve the enemies the Lord sends against you.  He will put an iron yoke on your neck until he has destroyed you” (Deut 28:46- 47).  The burden of carrying a yoke, can be the consequence of a nation having turned their backs on the Lord.

But God in His mercy will also release a nation from the yoke that they carry.  “They will know that I am the Lord, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them” (Ezk. 34:27).  Isaiah prophesied Israel being freed from the Assyrian yoke. “I will crush the Assyrian in my land; on my mountain I will trample him down.  His yoke will be taken from my people, and his burden removed from their shoulders” (Is 14:25). 

Isaiah points to David’s victory at Midan, when he was victorious with only 300 men.  It was unbelievable victory against a great army.  Isaiah promises a similar future victory for the people of God.  It will be a decisive battle, even though it will be bloody.  “The boots of the warrior and the uniforms bloodstained by war will all be burned.  They will be fuel for the fire” (Is. 9:5).  “The burning of the boots and the bloody clothes of the enemy soldiers….signify a victory in holy war where spoils were dedicated to God and military equipment was se on fire” (CSB Study Bible).

As a nation we are under a cloud of darkness, causing much despair.  There may be some hope and relief as light beginning to shine.  But ultimately, the burden and the rod of despair can only be lifted by the Lord. Only he can “break the oppressor’s rod.” Is. 9:5 reminds us that it will be messy before it gets better.