Canaan's Rest

My temperament is that of an extroverted, sanguine male.  Because I’m also intuitive, I often feel on the outside looking in when it comes to male camaraderie.  Yet God, by his grace and mercy, has allowed me to feel secure in my maleness even in the company of men very different from me.  In fact, I have found that joshing and joking with men has given me an inside track into their lives. 

I say this just as a segue to expressing my appreciation for The Babylon Bee: “Your Trusted Source for Christian News Satire.”  The Babylon Bee “was created ex nihilo on the eighth day of creation week, exactly 6.000 years ago.  We have been the premier news source through every major world event, from the Tower of Babel and the Exodus to the Reformation and the War of 1812.  We focus on just the facts, leaving spin and bias to other news sites like CNN and Fox News.”

Men, when we can no longer laugh at life, nor get along with people who think differently than we do, we are in trouble.  Many of the leading comedians of our time admit it is harder to do standup comedy today, because people are too easily offended.  This is not good for our emotional and even spiritual health. 

Because of this, I release you as a man to joke, poke fun, and josh with other men. When the people of Israel came back from captivity in Babylonian, Psalm 126:2 tells us, “Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.”  When we can no longer laugh at ourselves and enjoy good, clean joshing as men, we are still slaves in captivity.  Men, in Christ we can live in freedom and joy. 

I write about The Babylon Bee for two reasons.  First, I recommend their website to you if you have not already discovered it.  You will be surprised at the insight they provide into our culture through satire.  Second, I want to point out how they are in the crosshairs of the popular media. It only shows how oversensitive we have become to opposing positions.  When satire is misconstrued, then we are in real trouble as a culture.

Recently The Babylon Bee was able to force the New York Times to remove its defamatory characterization of The Bee as trafficking misinformation and fake news.  However, the battle against The Bee continues: recently Facebook announced it would be moderating satire to make sure it doesn’t “punch down.”  Essentially, Facebook posits that it can judge what qualifies as “true satire” – which also means it can judge jokes that “punch down” to be hatred disguised as satire.  

Seth Dillon, CEO of The Babylon Bee, noted: “Having failed in their effort to lump us in with fake news, the media and Big Tech… now hope to discredit us by saying we’re spreading hatred – rather than misinformation – under the guise of satire.”

I appreciate how Dillion responded to the attacks on The Bee.  “But we’re not ‘punching down.’ We’re punching back.  Conservatives have been on the ropes in the culture war for a long time… the left’s new prohibition of “punching down” is speech suppression in disguise.  It’s people in positions of power protecting their interests by telling you what you can and cannot joke about.” 

Men, I encourage you to use satire to lighten your load.  It seems like we can no longer laugh.  Remember the people of Israel when they came back to Zion: “Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy” (Ps 126:2).

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1).  This verse became more real to me recently after I spoke in a harsh tone to my wife.  There was no need for such a response.  I was simply frustrated.  In its footnotes, the NET Bible gives an alternative translation as “a soft answer.”  “The adjective ‘soft; tender; gentle’ is more than a mild response; it is conciliatory, an answer that restores good temper and reasonableness.”  I definitely was not conciliatory toward my bride. I was ill-tempered and unreasonable.  

By all accounts I had blown it with my attitude and especially with my tone of voice. It was harsh and condescending. I confessed my fault to my wife. That is spiritual progress for me. Usually, I would simply brush off my remark with an insincere “I’m sorry.”  But this time I was aware of the tone in my voice.  I was deeply convicted when my bride expressed “fear” that I might regress to giving her the old silent treatment.  My wife’s expression of “fear” was frankly shocking to me.

Men, it has taken me a lot of years to get to where I can confess to you my shameful attitude when I get frustrated.  I pride myself in being a caring guy.  I am not harsh and judgmental in my outward behavior toward others.  Yet my own wife can become fearful because of my harsh attitude.  That makes me a hypocrite. 

“Gentleness” is a new watchword for me at home. There are six references to gentleness in scripture (NIV).  Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22).  In Col. 3:12 there is the challenge to clothe “yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  Paul appeals to believers “by the meekness and gentleness of Christ” (II Cor. 10:1). In Phil. 4:5, Paul exhorts us to “Let your gentleness be evident to all” (Phil 4:5).   In I Peter 3:15, we are told to answer “with gentleness and respect.”

According to The Dictionary of Biblical Imagery, “Gentleness is an image of God’s ultimate subversive power that undercuts the power structures of the world.”  Jesus tells us to take his yoke and learn from him because he was “gentle and humble in heart” (Matt 11:29).  By doing so we would “find rest” for our souls.  Men, we can be subversive by being gentle and humble in relation to our wives.  

Paul urges us to live a life worthy of our calling as a follower of Jesus.  “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Eph. 4:2).  The first place I can practice being gentle is with my wife, since Paul tells us “He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph. 5:28).   My harshness only shows how far I still have to go in loving my wife as my own flesh.

So how am I going to become gentler as a husband, father, or man – one who desires to give a gentle answer in an attitude of love and caring?  I know I will not succeed in every situation.  But I hope to improve in showing gentleness. Many of you could feel the same way.  

Here are three things I challenge us all to do, as we ask for grace to improve.  First, become aware of our attitude and tone of voice as we sincerely pray for a sensitive and gentler spirit.  Second, confess on the spot when we detect a lack of gentleness. Third, seek forgiveness when we fail, while asking our wives to pray for us.  We’re in this together!