We also grow through trials and suffering. God uses trials to humble us and allow us to share in His sufferings. I Peter 4:13-14 tells us to rejoice in so far as you share Christ’s sufferings because the spirit of glory and of God rests on you. I doubt that most of us welcome suffering at first, but gradually, as we mature in our faith, we aren’t so afraid of it and can even get to the place where we rejoice and thank the Lord. Underneath whatever we are going through, it is possible to experience deep joy when we offer up our suffering out of love for Him.
Month: October 2025
When I get together regularly with a friend, we have a question we contemplate, write about, and share together when we meet the next time. One such question was: “How has God used His refining fire on me?” Now we all face hard times when we have difficulties and recognize God is trying to get our attention. Maybe we have gradually grown lukewarm in our love for the Lord and He allows things to come into our lives to help us deal with our old nature. I hope we all want Him to burn away the chaff (those things that are not life-producing and weigh us down). When we ask the Lord to use His refining fire on us, He does it in various ways and circumstances to help us die to our flesh and refine us. We don’t always jump up and down with gratitude during the process, but later we see the fruit of His loving hand and are grateful.
We can probably all think of people God has put in our lives that He has used to refine us. Maybe they have gossiped about us, spoken lies or hurt us in some way. What is our response? Do we care more about our reputation and try to defend ourselves, or are we humble and give it to the Lord letting Him work things out in His timing? God can also use friends and family in our lives to refine us, speak corrective words and pray for us. They help us get on the path again and draw closer to the Lord. His kind of refining may seem more welcoming and healing, and God uses many ways to help get rid of our chaff.
Let us be open to all the ways God uses to burn off the things that distract us and draw us away from a deep relationship with Him.

Growing up I was the first one to go to garage sales, craft sales, early bird specials, etc. and enjoyed all the bargains. Gradually though there is an accumulation of more than is needed and the luster of the purchases wane. Yes, we do have basic needs, but that is not the same as desiring the latest or far more than we need. The Lord has told us that we don’t have to be anxious about food or clothes that He will provide what we need, just as he does the birds of the air. He said in Matthew 6, to not to lay up for ourselves treasures on earth where moths or rust destroy, but lay up for ourselves treasures in heaven, for where our treasure is our heart will be also.
When we are confident in God’s care for us and His love for us, we don’t need things to make us happy or feel loved. The truth is that all those temporal things can’t bring satisfaction that only God can. Importantly, do we serve God through what we have already been given? We may have titles and positions but do we use them to bring glory to ourselves or to the Lord? Let us seek joy in the Lord and find beauty in all He has made and give all the glory and honor to Him. Only what is done for Him will last.
To love ourselves will include a healthy self-love, and self-respect and the experience of loving others. We learn to handle hurt and practice self-discipline and sacrifice. It also means we recognize our own needs before we can recognize the needs of others and have the strength to reach out to them. Like Padovani wrote, “Self-love turns inward, only to turn outward to others. Selfishness turns inward and remains there—and dies.” We all need times to rest and get refreshed so that we can continue to give and help others. If we fail to do this we can burn out.
When we love ourselves, we should not be afraid to look at ourselves critically but be open to gain insight that can be constructive and positive. How can we mature if we ignore self-criticism rather than go on to grow, learn through our failures and handle change. Self-criticism is not the same as self-condemnation that leaves us feeling worthless. Self-criticism helps us to realize we can become better, grow and know ourselves better.
Let us choose to go on to emotional and spiritual maturity by loving ourselves and being open to self-criticism, not self-condemning.
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