Helen Smith in her book, “Men on Strike” writes about “Uncle Tims.” “An Uncle Tim is a male sellout who kowtows to feminists because he’s (a) just as left-wing as they are and thus agrees with the feminist worldview, or (b) too weak to stand up for himself and know that if he says anything he’s not suppose to, he won’t get sex.” Suzanne Venker comments Uncle Tims, “are often the ones who lose in the end because all too often feminist wives regret their choice to make their marriage androgynous – and the men who give up their manhood, because they thought that’s what women and society wanted – are left in the dust.” In other words, a feminized man.
An Uncle Tim in Britain, (artist Grayson Perry) put it this way, “I sometimes watch the evening news on television and think all of the world’s problems can be boiled down to one thing: the behavior of people with a Y chromosome….The consequences of rogue masculinity are, I think, one of the biggest issues, if not the biggest issues, facing the world today.” He advocates “resistance” in combating toxic masculinity. “Resistance needs to be woven into every moment, every thought, observation, and act.” Mr. Perry finds himself questioning everything about his masculinity. This is the sorry life of an Uncle Tim, having become feminized.
In an OpEd in the NY Times Richard Reeves and Isabel Sawhill made this amazing statement. “The old economy and the old model of masculinity are obsolete. Women have learned to become more like men. Now men need to learn to become more like women…cramped gender roles are bad for women. It is becoming obvious that now they are hurting men, too.” The implication is that men should become feminized. Uncle Tims will end up losing their masculine soul, not being able to meet the emotional needs of the women in their lives since they are now feminized.
I predict that there will be greater confusion regarding gender and the relationship between male and female. As I have said often in my blogs, the key to bringing some sense of clarity to the roles of the male is for men to take the initiative in finding restoration for their masculine soul. It means reaching back to the orders of creation, being made male and female in the image of God. Only then can men learn to relate compassionately to the feminine in our culture today.
This initiative will include the following essential elements. First, and foremost men need to find security and affirmation in their God-given masculine soul. The masculine can not be swept away like some left over remnant of an oppressive past. We need to reclaim our masculine soul for ourselves not embracing the distorted feminine perception.
Secondly, admit our failure to meet the needs of women. Acknowledge how we have failed. Men secure in their masculinity will not be defensive when faced with the anger of the feminine. They are in the business of resurrecting the true masculine, while renouncing the distorted masculine of the past.
Thirdly, work at being sensitive and caring, but doing so from the healed masculine soul. An authentic male voice and spirit, not an feminized male voice is desperately need in our day.
Fourthly, this initiative needs to be expressed with humility, brokenness, and forbearance due to the pain and brokenness women have experience from other men. Sincere, open-hearted males can by their presence bring healing to wounded, closed-hearted women.
Fifthly, ask God for wisdom in knowing how to navigate the gender roles in your sphere of influence. It will not be easy. But it is our time to arise and shine for the Lord.