Recently I was very touched by Casting Crowns’ new single, “Scars in Heaven.” When I first heard it online, I cried like a baby. It was the chorus that broke me:
The only scars in Heaven, they won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven, yeah, are on the Hands that hold you now.
I had Judy come and listen together with me while I cried some more and held her. Why? It was the words: “If I had only known the last time would be the last time/I would have put off all the things I had to do/I would have stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter/Now what I’d give for one more day with you.” Then in verse 4: “Until I’m standing with you in the sun, I’ll fight this fight and this race I’ll run.”
I read in The Christian Post of Mark Hall, the front man for Casting Crowns, sharing the story behind the song: “I began to write the song [while] watching my mom care for her mom and dad as they were passing away. They passed away within a year of each other.” Hall notes, “There’s this moment when we are suddenly very aware of their absence… The world seems quieter. You realize you’re not going to hear their voice again.”
Men, my testimony to you is that I love my wife more and more as we grow older. I don’t know why. I suppose it’s partly because we become more dependent on each other, knowing we are both in the “4th quarter” of our earthly lives. But I believe the biggest reason for my emotional shift is what Jesus has done for me in creating space in my heart to love my wife more deeply.
Men, my word to you is this: Don’t waste your best emotional energy, or let it keep you away from sharing your emotions with your wife. I can only thank God and give Him the glory for the love he has given me for my wife and for the desire to share more and more of my heart with her. Remember the words of the chorus: “Now what I’d give for one more day with you.”
Your wife is a gift from the Lord, “The one who has found a good wife has found what goodness is and obtained a delightful gift from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22 NET). “Good” can also mean “virtuous,” “kind,” “cheerful,” or “content.” The word “goodness,” “describes that which is pleasing to God, beneficial for life, and abundantly enjoyable.” A virtuous, cheerful wife is “a delightful gift from the Lord.”
Men, I confess that for years the desire in my heart was to share with my wife how much I cherish her. But out of pride and stubbornness, words seemed to get stuck inside, left unspoken. I didn’t allow myself to share words of affection.
Please, don’t do that to your wife. Tell her how wonderful she is and mean it. Don’t wait till tomorrow or for a bright, sunny, relational day. Ask God to give you a new love for your bride – and cherish her. You do not know what tomorrow will bring. Remember the words, “Now what I’d give for one more day with you.”
Possible application: leave 5-7 Post-It Notes around the house telling your wife why (and how much) you appreciate her.