This blog is a testimony to the grace of God in my marriage of 54 years to the most wonderful woman in the world, Judith Ann, my trophy wife. I am prompted to write this blog after an incident in the parking lot of our local Costco store. A man and his wife ( I assume) were just getting out of their brand new red corvette convertible. I mentioned to Judy that the guy had a trophy wife, you know, the kind that enhances his status as a man. It was a classic example of how status even in relationships must be displayed in the presence of others.
I told Judy later that she was my trophy wife. Or as The Song of Solomon express it, “Yes, compared to other women, my beloved is like a lily among thorns.” (S of S 2:2 NLT) I told her that I would not trade her for any other women. She was perfect for me in every way. Being sincere, I know it meant something to Judy. Men, let me tell you – it will bless your wife if she knows she is your trophy wife. So why could I call Judy my trophy wife.
First, making the commitment to be a “one woman man.” For all of our marriage, I have had only eyes for my wife. That does not mean that I have not been tempted by thoughts so that my mind would wander to places that are not healthy for our relationship. This is a part of “everyman’s battle.” But by the grace of God I have never been in a compromising position. Judy, knows I am a one woman man by my conduct and disposition.
Secondly, by the grace of God, we have become one in the spirit. This has been a process of growth for both of us. This means that Judy is my “soul mate.” I find strength, encouragement and comfort in our being one in the spirit. She knows how much I appreciate her spiritual help. I need her. She is not a kind of “5th wheel” that I can do without. No, she is my helpmate in a very real way
Thirdly, how we blend together as a couple. Paul tells wives and husbands to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” We have always had the concept of knowing that our marriage is a daily dying to our own ego needs, while wanting to put the other first in our marriage. This has meant honest times of confession, surrender and recommitment to one another.
Finally, after 54 years with the same woman I know Judy like no one else. I see all the good qualities that Judy brings to our marriage. Men, don’t take these things for granted. Show your appreciation and gratitude by telling your wife how wonderful she is.
I could have said other things that would relate more specifically to our unique dynamic as a couple. For these I am very thankful. Your relationship is unique to your bride. Focus on those good qualities and thank God for how they compliment your marriage and get into the regular practice of telling your bride, in specific ways why she is your trophy wife.
Another way you can express your love and admiration for you wife is to tell her she is your crown. “A wife of noble character is her husband crown” (Prov. 12:4). Or as the Amplified put it, “A virtuous and excellent wife [worthy of honor] is the crown of her husband.”